I am so terrifically mad at my husband right now that I want to spit. I shouldn’t even be writing about this here. It’s not a place to give people the wrong impression that I live with a terrible person or something. That’s not the case, so please take it as only a moment in time, a moment in my mind that I absolutely must purge before it throws me down under where I can’t think of anything else, where I breathe anger, eat anger and cry anger. And please be kind enough to deal with the run-on sentences, as [...]
Read More in boys, Favorites, health, motherhood, paid work, relationship, Sarah Writes, sex, three kids, unpaid work, workApril 2009
April 30, 2009
In response to Dr. Sears, Mommy Burnout, and the fight I had with my husband this morning
April 27, 2009
Fair weather parenting
The sun has been shining. Oh, glorious warm days. And with the rising temperatures have gone the windows. Storms up. Screens down. All of a sudden, the goings on inside my house are public. We live in a neighborhood that is close to ideal. Stop for a minute. Picture “neighborhood.” Yup. That’s us. Cute little town. Sidewalks. Diner and hardware store within walking distance. Fenced-in yards that kids cut through to get home from school. On a warm spring night like this one I can hear not only the familiar dogs but people grilling in the apartments across the street, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sleep, three kidsApril 26, 2009
Hey, you need your cup. Oh yeah, my cups!
So today was all about sunscreen and baseball. In the morning, an Opening Day parade with a sweet High School gal singin’ the national anthem in a quavery, somewhat hollow voice. A melee of parents with strollers and high hopes. Being a Sunday, there were folks in Church get-up following little girls with chin length hair in flowery dresses and white buckled shoes. There were moms who had clearly taken the opportunity to coordinate their summer attire for the first time – tank tops and tiny tees dug out of attics and closets all over Connecticut. Some were just looking [...]
Read More in boys, exercise, oldest child, three kids, unpaid workApril 25, 2009
What I Learned Today
Swiss meringue buttercream frosting and 90-degree weather do not jibe. Kids don’t give a sh*t about the drippy frosting. Or the fact that it was too windy to light the candles. They just want the hay-bale cupcakes. You can carve a cake with the non-spoon end of a plastic spoon! Pinatas are more sturdy than they look. You can get sunburned in April. When the cooler is empty of drinks, the ice cubes offer great entertainment (and cooling) value. No matter what, birthday parties are stressful. On the mom, but also on the kid. But they are also just about [...]
Read More in birthday, Favorites, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsPeople are messy. Kids are messier. In the course of cleaning a child up, another large mess is made. Example: bath time – in my house – every night! It’s inevitable that there will be spills and falls, sticky messes, muddy messes, bloody messes. The very thought of all the cleaning is exhausting. You clean the sink – 10 minutes later someone leaves a glob of toothpaste or a big, green boog smack dab in the middle of your cloroxed beauty. You mop the floor – a dog and three boys pounce through with muddy feet, only to turn around [...]
Read More in home, middle child, Sarah Writes, unpaid workApril 18, 2009
Oh Brother, How Art Thou? and other philosophical ramblings
It seems time to mention that we have a brother. Oh, and, yeah, he has three kids, too. What is this? you’re asking yourself. Three siblings each with three children now. Weird. Is it, though? Seems like nice symmetry to me. And we really didn’t plan on it. No sirree. Our brother is the middle child. I suspect he felt and/or tried to be invisible for much of his childhood. Sarah and I, well, we tended to have the attention. Me being the perfect, overachieving oldest, and Sarah being the rule-breaking, boundary-ignoring, creative genius youngest. There was our brother, smack [...]
Read More in exercise, health, Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, three kids, youngest childApril 16, 2009
A letter to a friend
Meg, I am absolutely thrilled in every way to find out that you are, by golly, finally pregnant!!! Yay! Wahoo! Skideedle Dat! (that sounded cool in my head) I have to say that I was kind of stunned and amazed to hear the news last night. I certainly wasn’t expecting it. It was so nonchalant how you offered up the information. We’d been talking about my three boys and the craziness here, about work and schedules and springtime and then you just quietly dropped it in. Even now, I’m making my “long face” with my jaw dropped, my eyes first [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesI take so many risks. I’m not sure if the risks I take now as a parent of three are greater or more severe than the risks I took as a parent of one (or two) OR if it just appears that way because the things I thought were risky back then are part of my very very every day now. Some things just are not safe, like leaving a kid alone with the knife set, the hair clippers, the nail clippers, or the play-doh. Other things are not so simple. Seemingly mundane decisions can be the riskiest of all. [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 14, 2009
Thanking my lucky springtime stars
My sweetie always says, “You don’t have to look far to find someone who is worse off than yourself.” Lately, this statement has been proven correct almost daily. It’s spring. Finally. The season of birth. Renewal. My brain even feels it. I am more relaxed. The messy house no longer seems like it’s doomed to forever be covered in hats, mittens, coats, boots. The kids can go outside to dig in the dirt, play with their trucks, ride their bikes. There are sidewalk chalk “drawings” on the house siding. Phew. It’s been a long time coming, this kid-friendly season. And [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid work, youngest childApril 13, 2009
My last baby
My youngest is six months old. She is my calmest baby. And she will be my last. Saying this brings with it much relief and a strange sadness. I so desperately wanted a third child. Within minutes of the birth of my second I knew I didn’t want to be finished just yet. And I wondered and worried for more than two years until J and I decided we were meant to have another. Deciding to have a child is such a powerful and yet naive action. Now I know that I cannot go through another pregnancy. The longing for [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, three kids, youngest childApril 12, 2009
How many nights can I go without real sleep?
J is upstairs putting the big kids to bed. Em is lying on the couch beside me, playing. I am as tired as I ever have been. Too tired to be writing this post with any hope of making a point. The past four or five nights (I have lost track) have been very long and not very full of sleep. As a result, I have slowed down. Internally. It is as if I can feel my heart beating slower. As if my blood is thicker. And my brain. My brain is just barely functioning at all. It is, in [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsApril 12, 2009
Easter playlist, by my Sweetie
Gods will be Gods—Echo and the Bunnymen Death Came a Knockin—The Duhks Nobody Does me Like Jesus—Ollabelle I Am Waiting No More My Lord—Ollabelle Someday the Sun Won’t Shine for You—Jethro Tull Easter—Patti Smith Group New Beginning—Tracy Chapman The Gospel—The Dandy Warhols Pilot Can at the Queer of God—The Flaming Lips Return of the Grievous Angel (and We’ll Sweep Out the Ashes in the Morning)—Gram Parsons
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhoodApril 12, 2009
Why is today ANY different?
I’ve been awake for 12 minutes and discovered that I entirely missed the Easter morning Egg Hunt and Jelly Bean search. The boys have apparently searched and searched again and had their fun. And now it’s done. Jamis is downloading skeeball on to my iPhone, oh joy. My mother and her partner, D, are reading the paper. Dan is on his computer and when I talk to him he doesn’t even look away to face me – seems the sun is shining right in his eyes when he does, so why bother? Max is watching Tom & Jerry, but at [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, sleep, three kids, unpaid workApril 11, 2009
My Complete Inability to Make a Commitment to My Job: How Busy Does This Little Bee Want to Be???
I took a day off work two days ago to BE. Just to be. With my sister. To talk and eat and laugh and BE. It was fantastic, even though my mind was muddy and felt quite separate from my body. It is absolutely amazing in every way that the body can produce so much mucus. I’ve decided that I would much rather wipe my kids’ noses and coax them to blow OUT than to be inconvenienced by my own cold. That’s just awful, isn’t it? Am I wishing sickness upon my kids? Well, no, of course not. It’s just [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kids, workApril 10, 2009
Letter to my sister
Dear Sarah, I feel I already have failed you. Wasn’t I the one who volunteered to write the next post? Yesterday. After we agreed to a daily presence? Allow me to explain. Well, I arrived home to a sick kid and the fallout of a SICK KID. And it was dinner time. Need I say more? The night promised to be a long one. And then, today. It is not yet 10:00 a.m. Here is what I have done—in no particular order. (That would be too much to ask of my fatigued brain.) Three loads of laundry (one hanging on [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workApril 2, 2009
Body Image
So Dan and I were watching something on tv about this incredibly IN-SHAPE woman who is training for yet another crazy event – the Ironman, I believe – and coincidentally I have a friend training for the same thing. Go friend! It was a motivating story about one woman’s accomplishments, dreams, ambitions and drive. Most of all her drive, I guess. What drive! To put not only your body through the rigors of exercise, the tiresome schedule of double and triple workouts in a day, but even more so your mind. The resolve – that your brain must (MUST) tell [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 2, 2009
Inner Dialogue GET OUT
I don’t really talk to myself that often but I think I should start. Like I just walked in the house and said SHOWER. Yes, Sarah. Take a fucking shower. Your sinuses are blocked and your fingers are tingling cuz you’re freezing and a shower will do you good. Forgo those fucking dishes in the sink, the grocery list, and the laundry. I turned the corner to head upstairs and then I said EAT SOMETHING. (there’s a muffin in the toaster right now) So it’s like this – instead of talking out loud to make a list or directing your [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 2, 2009
From Two to Three
Sinus backup. I’ve got a cluster in my sinus – but it’s worked its way into my brain and I feel completely inept right now. I’m supposed to be working and then cleaning up the house and then heading to the grocery store. Instead I am an absolute lump. Maybe I should just let my body fold into sleep and give up until the afternoon – when I will be forced back into motherhood and household duties. But I keep thinking about three kids. I dropped the little ones off at the sitter’s this morning and reveled in the candor [...]
Read More in Favorites, health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kids, work