Meg,
I am absolutely thrilled in every way to find out that you are, by golly, finally pregnant!!! Yay! Wahoo! Skideedle Dat! (that sounded cool in my head)
I have to say that I was kind of stunned and amazed to hear the news last night. I certainly wasn’t expecting it. It was so nonchalant how you offered up the information. We’d been talking about my three boys and the craziness here, about work and schedules and springtime and then you just quietly dropped it in. Even now, I’m making my “long face” with my jaw dropped, my eyes first closed shut and then WIDE OPEN, like WHAAAT? REEEALLY?
I don’t want you to waste any time feeling bad or guilty about the fact that you kept it to yourself for so long. You’ll have plenty of time to perfect guilt once you become a parent. Was I sad to find out that I missed your first trimester? Yes. Am I sad that you didn’t have a great urge to share the news with an old friend? Of course. But do I understand? Yes, Margie, I totally understand. This is you and who you are. You have very clear ideas, goals, concerns and an amazing sense of REASON and PATIENCE.
I have known you for 18 years. 17? 19? A lifetime. In that time I have not always been the best friend that a best friend is supposed to be. Money Laundering and Lying – Cheating, Stealing and Vegas have brought out the worst of me. No, really, all kidding aside, I’ve been crazy. It’s been a long road we’ve traveled together. Through break-ups and make-ups, addiction and drama, dishonesty and brutal honesty. At times I’m a clam shell that won’t break open for anybody, and then I’m blabbing all those things you wish I wouldn’t, about me AND about you. (i’m working on that, i swear)
What I’m getting at here is that I hope more than anything that the birth of a child will only give us more cause to stay close and get closer. For nearly 7 years now I have played this role of motherhood without you, and often times it’s been quite difficult. I feel badly that every chance we have to get together you’ve been surrounded by one, then two, now three boys! My boys are great, I know that, and I don’t feel bad because of them. I feel bad because we’ve rarely had the opportunity to just BE, as friends, as GREAT, old friends. And connecting has been hard. Through every phone call I’m shouting directions at someone, breaking up fights, giving baths, comforting falls. When it’s actually calm in my house and we can hear each other clearly, it’s still hard to relate to one another sometimes because our lives are just so different. Sometimes it makes me sad. But then I remember that that is truly the way it has always been. We’ve always been so different, and yet we’ve maintained an amazing relationship through all our differences and our unique challenges.
I am so thrilled for you – in every way – ecstatic and joyous and thrilled!
(jen, can you believe this, she’s pregnant!)
I can hardly remember now the thoughts, the voices in my head, the dreams, the urges and the questions I had throughout my first pregnancy. What I can remember is the overwhelming anticipation.
First baby -
an awesome idea, grand in every way.
Talking to you last night about the physical and emotional changes that you have been going through brought me back to the nine months I carried Jamis. I was an eating, farting, baby-making machine. It was absolute BLISS! (well, until the last month, but who’s counting that?)
I know you are scared – I know you’ll always worry – I know you want everything to be perfect – I know you think I think you want it to be too perfect (but remember that I know you better than that, and please understand that when I say you want it to be perfect, it’s no different from admitting that I wanted it to be perfect too.)
A perfect baby. Perfect feet, perfect toes, perfect cries. A perfect impression of YOU (and your handsome man, of course)!
I’m scrambling here and just really want to say that I am here.
I AM HERE.
To listen.
To talk.
To shut up and hug you
…and watch you get bigger
…and scoop you some ice cream
…and take you through baby stores, oohing and aahing, at all that is cute.
I want you to know that I want to hear all about it and you and the baby. I may have been through this before but you haven’t! It’s important to me that you know you can always call me – the kids can wait, the laundry, the groceries, the job, it all can wait. Any question or worry or little excitement. I am here if you want to share it, and I hope you’ll share it all!
Congratulations isn’t quite the right word.
Rock on? Go baby? Go mama?
None of them work.
So how about just
I love you
and
I love that little baby too!
Sarah
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Meg! Congratulations! Yay yay yay. You are the best candidate for mommyhood I can think of. I’m so excited for you. I feel just as Sarah does; there’s no perfect word or words that expresses the all-encompassing life change of pregnancy and impending motherhood. Just enjoy as much as you can. Even the parts that don’t seem enjoyable are miraculous! Can’t wait to see you!
I remember being pregnant with my first and how each time I told someone I felt like my heart was exploding with fireworks because I was so scared and so excited and so…pregnant! Not sure I was going to like this whole thing. So, I’d tell people as calmly as possible. Like, I was all used to the idea and comfortable with it and…holy CRAP, I am PREGNANT! And you know what, when people guessed before I told them, I was a little disappointed.
I don’t know your friend Meg (or you, actually, so maybe I should shut up. As if.) but maybe when the news is that big and terrifying, the natural reaction is to act like it’s no big deal?
Yes, Barb! That’s exactly it. I was so excited–heart skipping beats excited–but I felt shy about telling people. Especially people I didn’t know terribly well. It’s like this HUGE, personal piece of news, and yet soon it (and your body) becomes everybody’s business. The strangest thing I ever had someone say to me was, “Well, we know what you’ve been doing.” SO WEIRD. Uh, actually, I’d been doing THAT all along. This is just the first time a HUMAN BEING will result.