Mommy needs a clone – or an extra appendage might help

I am
so tired tired
trying my best to look forward to
a weekend at home with my kids
and my husband
and the sun

I am
trying real hard
to approach all these must-do’s and have-to’s
and just knock them off my lists

those lists that float around my house and inside my purse
those lists that help me organize my thoughts in the morning
and then confirm I am a total failure at night

There is so much to be done
it’s overwhelming
the list is overwhelming
it runs on without stopping
I can’t jump over it or around it
cannot tackle it in any kind of productive manner

Whenever I start a project
I am interrupted
Whenever I dedicate my mind to completion
someone needs something

Well, I need someone
To just replace me
To do all the things that need doing just to get by
so that I can do all the things that need doing
so that I can live a life
that isn’t just
about just getting by

I want to soar
to take flight
to have a clean surface to eat at
to write at

I want to dream
to hear music
to dance again

but the lists get in the way
and I don’t have the time
and am too tired
and can’t abandon all that needs to be done to exist
which is all I can do
and so we just get by