Comments on: "So You Had a Third."

By: Goddess in Progress

Goddess in Progress — Wed, 26 May 2010 21:07:02 +0000

I’m new to your site and poking around the archives. Hi! :-)

This really resonated with me. I have almost 3-year-old twins and have just convinced my husband to go for the third. He was strongly in the “no thank you” camp for a while, for many of the chaotic reasons you mention (plus a few twin-specific ones). I understand all that, but the longing remains. The sense that I know I’d always regret/wonder/wish if I didn’t do it.

The twin factor adds an extra dimension for me. On the one hand, I have this instant “perfect”, symmetrical family (boy and a girl, poof!). And they’re wonderful and delightful and challenging and awesome. But even though I’ve always been a mom of two, I haven’t had the opportunity to be a second-time mom.

Anyways… we’ll see where this all takes us. But I’m glad I found your site!

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 18 May 2010 19:44:24 +0000

I have three children. As I read your post it seemed like your words were flowing out of my own mouth. I feel and felt the exact same way. I knew the moment my second child popped out that I wanted another baby. The fact that I had two girls first may have helped with my decision hoping that we would have a boy (which we did), but it didn’t matter to me, I wanted three.
Three are exhausting, but so are two and probably four or five. Three adds more laundry, longer in car seats and diapers but it also adds more fun.
I also agree with the body thing..my tummy didnt go away this time :(
I get asked all the time, “Is three so much worse?” Well yes its busier, but its not like I regret it. The hardest part is the stage I am in now. My son is a toddler, he runs away and freaks when I pick him up and my 4 year old doddles and my 7 year old tries to help. Thats the stage I’m in and its hard. But give my son a year and it will get better..
It will always get better!

By: Chris

Chris — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 18:52:27 +0000

You said you have to work to get the body back…do you have TIME for that? Because I sure as heck don’t. And some days I wonder; for as much time as I spend chasing my 3 year old and 2 year old around, and up and down the stairs, it’s a wonder I haven’t lost more weight. But I don’t have time to worry about it, I’m just too tired. So glad I found your blog!

By: Ten from Jen: Blog Posts of 2009 — Momalom

Ten from Jen: Blog Posts of 2009 — Momalom — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 18:30:53 +0000

[...] “So You Had a Third” (Maybe not my best post, but it seems appropriate to put it here since it gets to the heart of the [...]

By: Rae Ann

Rae Ann — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:56:00 +0000

Love-ity, love, love this post! I have two and want three. People keep telling me that I have the perfect family with a boy and a girl, but I am LONGING for a third. Still in debates with the hubs who was finished as soon as we saw the penis on the sonogram.

I also love your blog design. Your header is FAB!

I'm following you from the MBC Under 100 Club. I'm looking forward to reading more.

By: MommaD

MommaD — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:03:00 +0000

i am the mom of four boys. my youngest is eight months. i get the comments of “how do you do it” and i am dazed by it…i am in it, it is my life, and i have no choice but to “do it”. life with four is often utter chaos, never in my life did i think having just two was a super easy kind of day. i mourn no daughters, but am blessed with nieces up the whazoo. i get to be the aunt who wants to take them to do the fun girly things. and in the meantime i can do my absolute best to raise four strong, independent, compassionate gentlemen. and let me tell you, i still get comments about having more to “get a girl”. i simply say God thinks i am very special to give me four sons. i am not special enough for five.

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 06 May 2009 01:09:00 +0000

LiteralDan–Every kid is SO different! And we didn’t so much plan the kids as stop actively preventing them. Good luck to you!

By: LiteralDan

LiteralDan — Tue, 05 May 2009 19:02:00 +0000

I liked this post, because my wife and I have been talking for awhile about having a third. I'm sure we're insane, because my daughter was as big a challenge to drag to toddlerhood as my son before her was a breeze. So who knows what we'd get the third time?

Mostly we think it would be fun to actually get to plan a pregnancy for once, like all those Fancy People who do that. We have all the baby toys and clothes and junk you need still laying around, so why not?

Again, I may be mildly addle-brained.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 05 May 2009 12:21:00 +0000

And that’d be me, number three, poppin’ right out saying hello to the world. I know you wouldn’t have it any other way, Mom, now that you see how absolutely extraordinary I am (heh heh heh) but I’m glad that I was a surprise, and I’m okay with the fact that you weren’t too cool with it for a while. Having now three myself, of course I understand. And I wouldn’t choose to have it any other way either. Even with all the madness.

I’m a little sad that I don’t have a daughter. Okay, a lot sad. That’s a topic for another post. I would love to share my world with a daughter the way we do. But I often think of what Jen has said about having three boys: that I can be proud to raise three strong, respectful, happy men who have purpose and understanding and compassion. Okay, I added a few words there. But I know what she meant; to raise a boy to be a good man, a solid, good man, that will grow and marry and have a family of his own someday, is a special feat, and my challenge (x3)!

By: Momalom's Mom

Momalom's Mom — Tue, 05 May 2009 11:44:00 +0000

Well, here’s my piece of honesty. I didn’t want a third. When I discovered that I was pregnant, I went into denial. I was happy with my symmetrical, little family, a girl and a boy No excited preparations proceeded, no cozy talks with my friends and relatives. Just a lot of nausea, a quickly expanding body and huge, sagging, not-sexy breasts.

And then she was born – popped right out of me, practically unassisted by the very surprised intern. She lay on my stomach staring up with, I swear, eyes that could see right inside – that seemed to be saying, “I know all about you and it’s OK. You’re my mom and I love you. You’ll love me, too.” And, of course, I did.

Was it perfect? Naahhh. It was messy, chaotic, frustrating, maddening, tiring……and downright glorious. What better job than motherhood? And I say, after watching my three little birdies grow fine feathers and fly away on their own, it is worth every bad moment to be able to watch that happen – to know that there are three fine adults out there in the world, and that they have honored your motherhood by each having three children of their own.