I think some kegels are in order

I’m absolutely exhausted right now and there is no sane reason why I should even be attempting to post right now. (Lots of run-on sentences to follow).

I have a compelling urge to give out a bit TOO MUCH INFORMATION: the Jumping Jacks required by Jillian Michaels in the 30-day Shred I attempted tonite have alerted me to the fact that I better start doing those Kegels, else I be stuck riding around on a Segway for the rest of my days chanting, Low-impact, Low-impact.

That caption is priceless. I’m thinking that if the Segway could help me clear my head and deal with the inconveniences of breakfast and dinner service, diaper duty, laundry duty, discipline duty…then I’d be rushing out to customize my own Personal Transporter – Red with saddle bags, I should think, because I want to stand out and I want to make sure I have everything I need with me so I can leave my mind open to the meditative state that is sure to ensue, and not worry about whether I’ve got all that CRAP that’s always in my car, that I hate, that I’m not sure how it ended up there but if I leave it there, it eventually has a purpose. Then again, if I had the Segway, where would the kids go? So there would be no kids – then there would be no saddle bags. I would glide free with some cash in my back pocket and a mind full of hope. Mmmm. The good old days, before kegels were a matter of survival aka a way to avoid serious embarrassment in public you are sure will happen some day (beware of all sneezes and coughs).

On a seriously good note, I am feeling a lot less guilt about cancelling that gym membership. I’d feel more shame if I left a puddle on the floor of the cardio room. Although I suppose that I could strut myself with how much I’ve sweat. Maybe that’s what all those women are doing! And I thought they really WERE working harder than me. Damn! the guilt is back.