Comments on: Thinking out loud

By: Perception is not Reality – Making a Case for the Tummy Tuck — Momalom

Perception is not Reality – Making a Case for the Tummy Tuck — Momalom — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:17:31 +0000

[...] scars, I think? I don’t need any MORE scars.) That and money, of course. Oh and right, that whole dreamy idea of having a baby girl someday, as if I could make it so with sheer will power. var addthis_pub = [...]

By: Mother to three boys - Just thinking out loud again — Momalom

Mother to three boys - Just thinking out loud again — Momalom — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:32:55 +0000

[...] started an email response to Shawna, who commented on my last post, Thinking Out Loud. The email got so long and so intense that even though I continued writing, I had decided to post [...]

By: Shawna

Shawna — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 22:11:19 +0000

Sarah, I have three daughters and while I am already concerned about how we will survive their teenagehood, I am intensely grateful knowing that one day I will have three adult daughters. Because relationships with daughters are different than relationships with sons, no matter how hard we try to make them the same. I feel sad, already a grand sense of loss that my son will grow up and leave me and his sisters, not entirely but more intensely than his sisters will ever leave. I think about it all the time. I didn’t wish for daughters, didn’t long for them, am not interested in frills and fluff and the drama that girls bring to a household but now that I have them, now I am grateful in ways that I never expected. Sometimes I am concerned that I am too obsessed with my relationship with my son, too concerned that he and his sisters remain close. So I thank you for your honesty for putting it out into the world so that I can know that I am not alone in my fear.

I have been accused of being far too honest with my children, for including them in life’s big parts all too soon. I’ve been accused of giving them too much information. I don’t know if I’m right, but I feel good about my honesty with them, good about giving them ALL of the information so that they can learn to make decisions and to think about things from different perspectives and I do my best to balance it with holding them up in self-confidence, trusting them, encouraging them to make good choices for themselves because they deserve it. I have thoughtful, compassionate children as a result. I will take the criticism, a life lived honestly is lived more rawly a new acquantaince recently told me. She might be right.
Sorry about the ridiculously long comment, again I thank you for sharing. Adding you and Jen to my blogroll right now.

By: Barb

Barb — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 10:38:12 +0000

I think about this all the time. I have some unsavory things in my past and I am the mother of TWO girls. How do I keep them from giving parts of themselves away like party favors? How much do I tell them about self destruction without making them self destructive.

My philosophy has always been to be honest when they ask. But the questions get harder. And sometimes I don’t even have any answers.

By: momalom's mom

momalom's mom — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 00:29:02 +0000

Thanks for the swishy dress thought. I do love them. But what I love more are girls with guts, girls who have fun, girls who are strong and who know themselves well, girls who love themselves and others, girls who make mistakes and keep on going, girls who push the boundaries……..girls who are my daughters. xxoo

By: LifeAsIKnowIt

LifeAsIKnowIt — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:42:12 +0000

Just stumbled upon your blog today…I have two boys and often wonder how my connection with them will change as they get older. How much to tell of our past? I’m not sure…I think it depends on the situation and what is relevant when. I think you’ll probably know when the time comes.
Nice post. Nice blog.

By: Goldfish

Goldfish — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:31:26 +0000

Nothing witty to say here. Nothing insightful either. I must walk away from this post and do some thinking. Daughters? Sons? Connections? Honesty? I have to walk away and do some thinking. And I’ll be smiling while I think. Thanks for a wonderful post.