Jen writes

July 4, 2009

Becoming Cool

I live in an artsy New England town. Lots of musicians. Artists of all kinds. Creative people creating. These are major reasons why I love living here. But also, often I feel very uncool. For my day job? Well, part of it entails writing obituaries. Yep. Also, I don’t play a musical instrument. Nor can I draw a realistic interpretation of anything. Or make a convincing attempt at abstract representation, for that matter. Oh sure, I write. But it seems like everyone else does too. And the rest of them? Well, they actually have their books published.

When I take the kids out, I always feel like the the uncoolest person wherever we go.

Except, wait! Not anymore. Because now I’m the ONE WITH THREE KIDS.

Lately I have been to a few parties and several public events. Of the family kind. Concerts in the park. That sort of thing. It’s been me and the kids, because J is working. And I usually meet or go with a friend of mine (who usually has one child, or possibly two children). And there are the introductions. To the musicians and the artists. I catch glimpses of the cockeyed looks. I hear the whispered questions. “Are they all hers?” “Really?” “Three kids?” You’d think I had three HEADS. (If only.) Yes. It’s true. I am the MOM WITH THREE KIDS. Really, there’s rarely any need for further explanation. I don’t have to worry about the obit part. Everyone is seemingly dumbstruck. Or maybe they’re disgusted, because I am inevitably saying, “Nice to meet you,” while at the same time wiping a nose, or pulling up someone’s pants or fishing something out of Em’s mouth.

Here’s what I’ve realized. Becoming that mom, the ONE WITH THREE KIDS, has made me cool. Cool not unlike all those creative friends of mine and acquaintances I keep meeting over and over and whose names I can never remember because I HAVE THREE KIDS (and I can barely manage to call each of them by the correct name). I of course did not procreate to stand out, but I do. Everywhere I take the kids there is some kind of a scene. And not always a bad one. You see, my kids? Well, they’re cool. And they’re going to stay that way. They’re gonna fit right into this artsy town we chose to raise them in. I can tell. They sing. They dance. They do “projects” every day. (Remember?) They make scenes. Sometimes they have tantrums. And sometimes they march through the neighborhoods playing instruments and singing together. And I’m right there with them. Cringing. Or bursting with pride. And no matter what, to them, being one of three kids is the way it is. It rarely comes up in our conversations. Also, to them, I’m cool. And I’m cool with that.

Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, siblings, three kids, Uncategorized
Sarah writes

And I’m cool. Because YOU’RE my sister. You’re MY sister.

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Helen Chuang Boswell writes

I think your last two sentences say it all. To your kids, you’re cool. We moms give hugs and kisses to make things better and that’s in our power to do so. What I am just starting to realize is that my kid has even greater power to make me feel great about being a mom by hugging and kissing ME!
Hope you had a cool 4th of July!

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Anya writes

Just thought you’d like to know that there’s a photo of your cool kids on a cool band website. One that’s called the LIVING ROCKUMENTARY no less. Kinda cool, no? http://rockumentary.net/

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Jen replies

So COOL. Those kids (yours too!) bopping to your cool husband. Thanks (for the hand-delivered treat, too).

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D writes

You are cool. Not just because you have 3 kids.

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