Well folks, here it is. The stark truth. Staring at me. A while ago Sarah and I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo. And here it is Oct. 30. So we are going to have to gear up. Am I back in with both feet, as Sarah so understandably asked? Yes, I am. So give us tomorrow to gorge ourselves on candy, and we’ll be back every day in November. Yep. Every. Day. Looking forward to seeing you here.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingOctober 2009
October 30, 2009
On your mark … Get set …
October 27, 2009
The days of no me before motherhood
So I kind of abandoned Sarah this week. Talk about SCARY. I’d been walking around for days frustrated with just about every big aspect of life. (More than usual.) Money. Career. Relationship. Mommyhood. And I’d started to take it all out on my kids. And my partner. I was having imaginary conversations. Out loud. It was getting pretty ugly. And scary. Because I wasn’t making anything better. I was avoiding real conversations that needed to be had. And I was perpetuating a vicious circle of “why am I the only one” thinking. Why am I the only one to see [...]
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, home, housework, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, paid work, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingOctober 27, 2009
Connections
People change me. I am so ready to be changed. It is not a failure or a flaw. It is not a sign that I waffle easily, that I am unsure of who I am and what I want. Instead, I know it to be the natural course of my life. There is always another way to do things. How do I know I’m doing it right? How do I know that I look best in blue? Why would I think that my answers are correct? I look for help. I look for reassurance. I look for change. And most [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsOctober 26, 2009
Gratitude
Hi. My mind is stuck. There is a post at half-mast just waiting to be released. I have to catch some wind and will then set it free. But I wanted just to say, in the meantime, that my heart is full. Thank you for the comments. It is love. And I am grateful. I linked up to Jill’s contest pretty late in the game. Barely made the cut-off. Just wanted to be part of this wonderful community. Out of many wonderful entries, she picked one. She picked mine. I was more than just a little shocked to find this [...]
Read More in Sarah WritesOctober 22, 2009
A very wealthy life
This is the place where we admit it all. Where we say what we can’t say to our friends at the playground. To our neighbors at a backyard barbecue. Where we coddle the voice that sits within. The one that whines in frustration at all the chores and the failures. The deeds undone. The lives we don’t have. But we want. The people we see inside ourselves. But can’t always become. This is the place where we try not to portray ourselves as someone in particular. We place no judgment. We find no fear. We look for resolve. This is [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsOctober 20, 2009
The Holidays. Already?
It is mid-October. The Halloween hype is in full force. TV specials. Pumpkins on doorsteps and fake cobwebs in trees. Costumes in the Sunday newspaper flyers. I can deal with Halloween. This year I will be marching in the local parade alongside a firefighter, a MEAN witch and a baby chick. We will see friends. We will trick or treat. We will eat too much candy. And then, it will be over. But after Halloween? Thanksgiving. Christmas. The New Year. Yes. The holiday season already is upon us. I like the holidays. I do. Somehow even though we are vegetarians, [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 19, 2009
My cultured (?) children
What is it like to LIVE with three kids? It’s messy. And it’s loud. But I have to remind myself that those two things are not always bad. In my house, often the messes are art projects. The remnants of art projects. The precursors to art projects. Just about anything goes when it comes to creating art in our house. Cardboard boxes. Popsicle sticks. Sticks of any kind, actually. Acorns and other assorted organic matter. Feathers. Pom poms. Plastic doohickeys of every shape, size and unknown origin. These things and PAPER are all over my house. As are crayons of [...]
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 18, 2009
Give yourself away
When I was in high school I had a favorite teacher. She would have us freewrite. It was liberating for me. I didn’t understand why some of my classmates would groan. We were given a topic and ten minutes. Our pens were instructed to flow freely and effortlessly and consistently for 10 minutes. And I say “our pens” because they really take on a life of their own when you let your mind just go. I don’t think I ever realized it until now but it was like a meditation. A release of the thoughts. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, history aka before kids, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids, writingOctober 16, 2009
The not-so-big reveal
So, the secret project? It was a book. My sweetie recently endured a significant birthday milestone. Nope. Not that one. Add 10 years. And for his birthday I decided to make him a book. I worked on it during my regular blog-designated hours, and he thought I was blogging. Until he realized how much time I was “blogging.” At which point I had to lie to him. I told him I was working on stuff for momalom’s mom’s wedding. (Thanks, Mom.) I don’t know if he believed me, but he’s not the curious type. So, the book. I agonized over [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, relationship, three kids, three kids (six kids)October 15, 2009
He had kind eyes and he needed my money
Sunday was my husband’s birthday. He is now officially closer to 40 than 30, but whatever. The only reason I mention this is to explain why I took all three hooligans to the grocery store with me. He went mountain biking to relieve some stress – DEAR GOD PLEASE BLOW OFF SOME STEAM MY DEAR HUSBAND – and I gathered ingredients for my world famous Carrot Cake. We blazed through the store successfully, especially considering that since Ethan is too heavy for the sling or the Ergo, Max has been bumped from the cart and is now free-range and roaming [...]
Read More in chores, Sarah Writes, three kidsOctober 14, 2009
Meme: an idea
A Meme aka another random 35 things about Sarah. 1. Where is your cell phone? do you really care? 2. Your hair? never as cute as i want it to be – can i get a stylist please? 3. Your mother? too far away 4. Your father? in the clouds 5. Your favorite food? food, in general. 6. Your dream last night? i was too tired to dream 7. Your favorite drink? i don’t like playing favorites 8. Your dream/goal? let’s pluralize those, shall we? financial stability. another successful marathon (02.14.10). a daughter 9. What room are you in? couch [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsOctober 13, 2009
Broken
The kitchen doorknob The storm door The window (well, two) in the bedroom(s) The drawer in the upstairs bathroom vanity The drawer pulls on most of B’s dresser drawers The drawer pull on the downstairs mittens-and-hat dresser The kitchen silverware drawer The toilet paper dispenser thingy The decorative molding around the back door The deck steps The bulkhead hinges The baby gate Fifty percent of the toys in the house *** Is that all? I was sure the list would be longer.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 9, 2009
I’ve never even touched a cigarette
So. My story is not as dramatic as Sarah’s. Haven’t read hers? You should. I’d link to it here, but you’d probably go and read it. And you’d likely never return. It’s quite gripping. (Maybe I’ll give you another shot later.) My story is so undramatic that it’s difficult to know how to tell it. What to mention. What to leave out. I was the good girl. I didn’t drink. I didn’t smoke. No drugs. No parties. No dates. I’ve never even touched a cigarette. My mom says that when I reached age 5 the hard parts of raising me [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, writingOctober 8, 2009
I think I had an orgasm on my spin bike
I am not generally a sweater. No, we’re not talking merino wool. We’re talking sweat, people, perspiration. So, let me repeat. I am not generally a sweater. I’m usually the one at the end of the race with a bright red face and splotchy limbs, looking a bit under the weather. I push my body to places that it doesn’t really want to go and the exertion settles right under the skin, asking to be released. It’s often a gripe of mine that I don’t sweat, since sweating cools you down and prevents that uncomfortable build up of heat I [...]
Read More in exercise, mind/body, Sarah Writes, sex, three kidsOctober 5, 2009
“You have more to give”
I used to be an athlete. And I was a decent one. Not the strongest, not the most dedicated, not the best. But I was pretty good. I was a collegiate rower. I made the first boat. I was elected captain by my teammates. I medaled in the Head of the Charles once. Being an athlete was a major part of my identity. And yesterday I got to go back in time and get a little glimpse of the me that used to be. It has been a long time since I’ve rowed competitively. I worked as a crew coach [...]
Read More in exercise, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsLife isn’t easy. In fact, these days it’s terribly hard and terrifically stressful. I feel like I am tethered to my children. I’m only lucky enough to free myself so that they can go to school and daycare and I can go to a job that I…oh yeah, I fucking hate! So no, not so lucky after all. But aren’t the weekends supposed to be fun? Supposed to procure some form of relaxation? Some respite from the humdrum work week? Because they don’t. It’s just more obligation. More duties. More shit that needs to get done. Instead it’s unpaid shit [...]
Read More in Sarah WritesOctober 1, 2009
A few thoughts on that unmentionable topic: MONEY
If I had known the utter financial ruin that having three kids would do to my life, would I have those three all over again? Well, yes, of course. But if I knew then, as they say … I would not have purchased a 2004 VW Passat Wagon GLS. Oh, no, I wouldn’t have. Mine recently suffered its demise. It is only five years old with 80K miles. I have taken care of it. And yet, it needs a new engine. I am told by a mechanic I trust that this happens a lot with these models. Oil sludge buildup [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 1, 2009
October First
Happy Birthday, Dad. We miss you every day, but today we miss you a little bit more.
Read More in Dad, Jen Writes, three kids