Your life is giving you material that if forcing you to sit down and think. And maybe not even think, but just go, as this post exemplifies. With your pen. And you are gifted.

I hope when your life is more ordered as the children grow, more at pace with peace, I hope that you will further KNOW you are gifted. So that you can and will keep on giving. In this format.

Or maybe another format in which you express yourself. Not for us, though we thank you eternally, but for you. And your sister. And your children. But mostly you.

Your sister and yourself are amazing, astounding, awesome women.

And “grace and terror”… I almost changed it. Using “terror” should be bad when you’re talking about your kids. But it’s just true, isn’t it? And even more true when counterbalanced by grace. Ah, children. The sweet and the salty.

Even if you feel there’s nothing original about what you have to share (eg: we are all parents and we feel the same anxieties/woes) you DO have something to offer, because THE WAY you say it is so raw and true and eloquent.

We’re all drowning out here, and sometimes the words of another person who is also adrift is just what we need to keep kicking for the shore…

This is my most favorite comment. I think it’s because you told me you read some of the post to your husband. And he just stared at you. He just stared.

And he doesn’t get it.

But you do.

And that’s all a part of it. The motherhood. The coloration or discoloration, of having children – inside you, around you, on your mind at all times! It’s a woman thing, a mother thing.

Why do topics like these make me long for a daughter even more? I feel dwarfed by males and their inability to ever see what I see. My poor, poor children. They will never see the light because Daddy is a single-minded gender-giver in the baby-making department.

And yeah. I miss me. I miss the me that never had a chance to be. And the me that was so ME but I never took the time to enjoy.

*sigh*

Send me a picture. Of you wearing them. I need inspiration.

:)

I’ve been thinking about your post recently… the “If I’m being honest I don’t always dig this motherhood gig” post. I dare say that’s what I was thinking about this morning as I was pulling my comfy, not-quite-appropriate-for-work pants on. That post makes me feel less alone in the moments of just despising all the responsibility. I had that moment last night and actually ran a bath to try to escape from everyone. I hate baths. But I figured it would allow me to sneak away for a bit. Don’t you know the husband thought I was running the bath for the baby? When he realized I was IN IT, flappy skin and ALL, he said “OH!” and shuffled out, telling me to sing “Freebird” when I was finished. Needless to say I didn’t enjoy the bath OR the attempt at solidarity.

And why do I say all this? I don’t know, because mommy brain has kicked in and I FORGOT WHAT MY FREAKING POINT WAS, DAMMIT!

In short (too late), I love that you love this. Because THIS is what runs through my mind all the time. This single line that you have acknowledged. Motherhood taints everything. And, just to be clear, I certainly don’t think this is a bad thing, it’s just a thing. But sometimes hard to manage. And yeah, I wish I could be 22 again from time to time.

Even when I’m feeling dull and dreary and bored in life I have to remember that at least I’ve made progress somewhere along the line. I feel like I am on a path. I feel like nothing can throw me off now. I have determination to continue moving forward.

I’m not a planner but looking backward pushes me to start looking forward more often.