Oh MY! Where is that lovely graphic to begin the post? What? Five for Ten is over? (Boo boo lip.) I think it’s going to take some time to recover.
Right now we are in the process of basking in your lovely comments and figuring out T-shirt details. Bear with us, ladies. We’ll be in touch. (We also are baking pies and figuring out if the kids have any decent clean clothes to wear for Thanksgiving tomorrow, ya know?)
In the meantime, here’s something for you (ladies and gentlemen, both) to think about:
A thread that seemed to recur during Five for Ten was that of feeling like non-bloggers don’t understand you (us). I have found that some people I know personally—and who I know read these words—don’t know what to say when I see them. They don’t know if it’s OK—polite or acceptable or WHAT—to refer to my writing. I’ve been told that it feels like eavesdropping, to read the posts (and not comment, perhaps?). I keep thinking about this, turning it over in my mind. And I want to know how you all feel. About people you know reading your blog. About people you’ve met through your blog reading your blog. About your family reading your blog. Who really gets it. Who really doesn’t. Whose hand do you have to hold a little bit to assure them it’s OK they read your words?
With the holidays upon us, will you talk about your blogging life as you sit around the table tomorrow? Will your family ask you about it? Will you avoid the subject? Defend yourself? Play it down? Or will you be confident, assured, open about your blogging life?
I’ll let you know how my first holiday as a blogger goes. I sure wish Sarah and I were going to be at the same table. But, sadly, she and I will be going to different branches of the family tomorrow, and so Momalom will be eating all the fixings (with or without the bird) separately. Hope your Thanksgiving is full of good food and good cheer!
Oh, and bear with us. We’re in the process of switching hosts. (And when I say “we,” I mean Sarah, because I am clueless.) So, if you see anything wacky, e-mail us. Please?
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I’ll be interested to see the follow-up to this topic. I currently write a private family blog, since we don’t live near our respective families. But I’ve started following more and more blogs and am considering starting a public one. At this point, I’ve only talked with a tiny handful of people about it. And I don’t plan to bring it up this weekend. Why is that? Even before I break the ice I already feel awkward about it.
Gale,
I’m interested in a little follow up on this one as well. And I think this could be a larger topic, or a more detailed post, when time allows. You know, when it’ isn’t the day before Thanksgiving and everyone isn’t running around like mad.
Thanks for stopping in!
Hi Gale. I know what you mean about feeling awkward. Jumping in has really helped me. That and having a sister who is far braver than I. If you do decide to start a blog, I hope you’ll share it with us. Also, I think it’s easier to establish yourself and then share your blog. Because then there’s real, concrete work that stands up for itself. When it’s just an idea, an aspiration, it’s more difficult to explain, and you might feel that horrible feeling of defending yourself. (Which is absolutely unnecessary and still somewhat unavoidable–at least for me.) Happy Thanksgiving!
my take may be a bit different b/c i’m new to blogging (and b/c you did not refer to my gender), but if we don’t speak of blogging to non-bloggers, how can we expect anyone to read our words except those who blog. and if that’s all who reads us, then doesn’t that make the blogging community a bit like a commune? e.g. like the micro-economy at every single Grateful Dead show i ever attended? (pizza guy sells pizza to weed guy, takes money and buys bracelet from bracelet guy, then bracelet guy takes money and buys hackey sack from hackey sack guy. hackey sack guy then goes on to buy weed from weed guy)
my point? as a newcomer to the scene, sometimes it seems to me that all bloggers do is read each others blogs in hopes of directing traffic to theirs. the more one reads, the more one is read. i’m not saying that this is the case for you specifically, but it does seem to be the case overall. and i’m also not excluding myself from all this, either.
all that said, reading to be read doesn’t make sense to me. i’ve been reading more and more blogs and i’m starting to rule some of them out, (most of them b/c they are one dimensional) but when i get a comment from someone i was gonna rule out, i think twice. after all, i don’t want to lose a reader. (see, told you i’m not excluding myself!)
SO, to wrap it up, hell yeah, i talk to non-bloggers about my blog. i write because i think it’s one of my gifts, and i want people (bloggers and non-bloggers alike) to know about it. just like i want to know about theirs. the vast majority of my readers are non-bloggers, and they blow me up w/ emails, and i always wish they’d post their comments. whenever i tell them this, they always say, “I don’t respond because i don’t have a handle/website like everyone else who responds,” which brings me back full circle. it never occurs to my non-bloggers to post formally, i suspect, b/c they don’t expect me to read anything they’ve written.
i LOVED this question. it made me think. i hope my honest reflection has not offended you, or anyone else who may have read it. (hey, at least you know i really DO like your blog since i’m still coming back!) Happy Thanksgiving… -jco-
Hi John. First, thanks for correcting me on the male/female wording. As it turns out, winners of Ts were all women, but I didn’t mean to exclude male readers! So, I have since changed the wording a bit.
Second, thanks for this very thoughtful response. I agree with a lot of what you say. That we bloggers can so easily isolate ourselves by not sharing our work with members of the non-virtual world. I consider myself a writer. Right now, my writing is primarily taking the form of blog posts. But I also write for work (obituaries! and other things), and I have a novel in progress. If I talk about my writing identity with anyone now (and I always has), I have to talk about the blog. I do admit, it was a strange transition for me. But I now feel not only a sense of community but a sense of responsibility as well, to expand that community to include anyone who may feel like they cannot comment. I understand anonymity. And I respect every reader’s preferences. But in the last week or so, I decided that in no uncertain terms will I deny myself the pride I feel in the work I have been doing as a writer who has a blog.
And with that, I must remove an apple pie from the oven. Because I am also a writer who bakes and a baker who writes.
Happy Thanksgiving!
My empathy on switching hosts. Have been “in process” of trying to do that for now 3 days. (Not going well.) If you have any brilliant insights – let me know!
And meanwhile, as a Thanksgiving gift – this is a FABULOUS new blog I’ve just discovered – filled with intelligence, metaphor, clarity and the gentleman (psychologist) is a lovely read. He talks about how we should parent all kinds of children in all kinds of situations. (I’ve just added him to my blogroll – something to be learned from him daily.)
And I rather like his moniker as well – “Privilege of Parenting” – because despite the mess, the expense, the chaos, the worry, the dramas, the illnesses, there are also incredible joys – and it is indeed a privilege.
My Thanksgiving gift to this lovely crew. http://PrivilegeOfParenting.wordpress.com
Now back to my baking!
BLW
OOh. Yay! Can’t wait to check out the link. Thanks!
And, Happy Thanksgiving. Is there any dessert left?
Fantastic blog, BLW. I’m sending it around. I know several sets of parents who could use it! I wish there had been such good advice when I was actively parenting. I sometimes felt like I was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean without a boat. And the sharks were circling. but then, that’s mothering sometimes.
Happy Thanksgiving!! cooking, cooking, cooking….
PS – specifically to JOHN, and more generally, responding to your topic.
John – I am also a writer. I am currently an unemployed writer, head of household. Tough times. But without writing – paid or not – I am miserable. So I write. Many things. Among them, now, a blog.
I write for myself, and I write to be read. I also (now) write to be part of a generous and growing community. A learning community. I belong to multiple “communities” via my blog, in part because I write essays on everything. Whatever strikes me on a given morning / night – everything from language to customer service to French sex to French shoes, internet dating, parenting, single parenting, arts & entertainment, and so on. (Yes “French sex” does truly warrant its own category, but the details no doubt will be unearthed during the drunken writing challenge to … um, come…)
My family does not read my blog.
I have only three close friends who know it exists – one of whom is overseas. That is intentional, so that I may write on any topic I choose, without being concerned about offending a friend – or – for that matter – embarrassing my sons (with praise, usually). I am also looking for work. The internet is a massive, public permanent record of our brilliance, mediocrity, and idiocy. Not what I want considered in an employment pre-screen.
As for ‘learning community’ – I just left a link to a terrific blog I recently stumbled upon. A west coast psychologist with wonderful perspectives on raising children. I wanted to share it. It isn’t for everyone; it also isn’t pop culture crap. It’s extremely substantive, and I think Sarah and Jen have tapped into a community of parents with enormous substance. We all want to learn.
My two euros.
Now go visit my “essays on everything” and find out how NOT to pick up a girl, how to make French twist mini pecan pies, what the sexiest stilettos on the planet look like, why French wine is the key to a flourishing sex life, and to ponder what you would do if told YOU’RE A WALL, HERE”S PAINT, create yourself.
And happy thanksgiving.
Proud writer. Proud to be part of this expansive and generous literate community. Proud to blog.
Wolfie. Thank you. I love this. I love the pride. I love that you write about so many diverse topics. It makes me a little sad that you feel you can’t share your writing with some of your friends and family. I feel so fortunate to have found it for myself. (And, really, ARE there any more of those delectable delights? I made two KICKASS apple pies today, thankyouverymuch.)
Ah, you have put into words a question that has been percolating with me for quite some time. It is fascinating to me how many people in my “real life” (I do hate these dichotomies though) do not mention my blog or are very awkward when they mention it. I’m not sure what this is all about. Clearly, we are making our words public because we want people to read them and talk about them. I for one would be thrilled if there weren’t such an impasse between my blogging and non-blogging worlds. A pipe dream? I don’t know why it needs to be.
(Thrilled to see Gale and John above – two of my fave friends in cyberspace. Oh, and of course that wonderful Wolf!)
Happy Thanksgiving!
Aidan. I think it is up to us to help bridge the gap. We have to look beyond the awkwardness of others, make them feel comfortable. If we stand tall and don’t offer any reasons for our readers (live or behind a computer screen) to be awkward, then the relationships will build and the categories will fade. Or, at least, I hope so.
My family reads my blog (therefore it is somewhat muted, at times). My friends read my blog. The vast majority of my readers are (to my knowledge) non-bloggers. Nearly none of the people whom I know IRL (as if I don’t “know” you…) comment. They e-mail me, sometimes. They call me, rarely. So I never know who knows what about me. I don’t really care. I’m taking a leap of faith putting it out there. It becomes public property, and is then beyond my control. I’m okay with that. (How many times did we have a variation on this discussion in lit crit classes?! Artist’s intent versus consumer’s perception, etc. Not that I’m an artist. But, you know.)
When someone says something to me about it, I’m okay with that, too. I figure that if I’ve put it out there, I have to be willing to take the feedback. And that’s what I tell people if they seem awkward in talking to me about it: I wrote it. I’m willing to talk about it. Maybe over simplistic? But the only way I can understand it.
Now I’m off to check out John’s blog. (But not to drive traffic, John, I promise!) Oh, and Big Little Wolf’s rec, too.
Happy Thanksgiving, my dears.
Um, you ARE, like, totally, an ARTISTE. And, really, I’m not kidding about this one. Really. We all know Geege reads, and others in our family know about the blog, but I’m not sure who reads regularly. (Am I making anyone out there feel unCOMFORTABLE yet?) I do hope my friends and family members don’t feel like I am reverse stalking them now, talking about this. It’s kind of odd. But I agree with you. If I’ve put it out there, I have to be willing to take the feedback. And, first, I have to be able to ADMIT that it’s out there.
John: how did you know I was looking for the weed guy at the Dead show??
You always make me think, Jen and Sarah. Okay, my two cents. I have not been blogging long. I just threw myself into the fray and started writing and didn’t think at all about who I wanted to “be” as a blogger or what my site would reflect. I probably shoulda thought that one through before starting, huh?
I am very skittish about the fact that I do post pictures of my children/family, reveal the general vicinity of where I live, share some very personal details of my life. With faceless readers. Who may or may not have some weird emotional imbalances.
But I was afraid that if I kept things close to the vest, I’d kind of castrate my writing. And I didn’t want to do that. I’m still struggling with this issue, but I feel like the people who DO comment on the blog “get it”…and therefore “get me”… so that’s why they stick around. I feel very safe with my readers, and I’m not sure if I ‘should’ feel that safe…but I do.
My parents read the blog and are appalled by my language, but they’ve always been shocked at my sailor mouth. Luckily, they think it’s sorta funny now. My sister? No way do I want her to read. She has no idea and hopefully never will.
My non-blogger friends rarely mention the blog. They never leave comments…maybe for the reason John specified above. But most bloggers are writers, or those who enjoy writing, so it’s easy for them to comment…it’s what we live to do!
And I kind of think that maybe that’s what we are experiencing here with that Blog-vs-Playground sense of being understood. Maybe fellow bloggers (many of whom are writers) are very comfortable with self-examination…and over-thinking…and keeping our emotional side very present…and staring honesty in the face even if it makes us cringe. Just a thought?
Happy Thanksgiving and I wish y’all were at MY table this year.
Hi Kitch. I absolutely know what you mean about not always feeling comfortable divulging personal details. I keep wanting to write specifically about just this topic. Obviously, I don’t use the names of my kids. Of course, since Sarah does, and since everyone knows we are sisters, how hard could it be to find out my family details. If one really wanted to. I struggle, as my kids get older (um, well, they’re young, but they will get older and be able to read) with knowing how much to write about them, their individual accomplishments, struggles, humorous takes on the world. (Though I agree with Wolfie that I probably would embarrass them with too much adoration and praise, but I digress.) I love what you write in your last paragraph, about WRITERS being comfortable with self-examination. Because we are. Writers. And that’s what we do. You are very wise.
And I do hope that your Thanksgiving dinner is full of all sorts of yummy Dakotan recipes.
KitchWitch – I think you got it just right: “what we are experiencing here with that Blog-vs-Playground sense of being understood. Maybe fellow bloggers (many of whom are writers) are very comfortable with self-examination…and over-thinking…and keeping our emotional side very present…and staring honesty in the face even if it makes us cringe.
Perfect.
(And some of us love “sailor mouth.” Consider it “full and appropriate use of the language.”)
Yeah. What SHE said.
I’ve been blogging for a little over a year and I share my blog with anyone who will listen.
Welcome! And, YES. I love the simplicity and the confidence in this. I wonder if it’s a male/female issue. OOh, boy. A topic for another day.
I have been blogging since – have to go check since my general answer after not having had three pints at Happy Hour is years – Nov of 2005. I have met a lot of people through my blog – both local that I have then met in real life and farther away that I have not actually met.
I do talk about my blog frequently. I have one friend who has begun blogging in the last six to eight weeks. While his blog is more clinical, I like to think he started because I blogged and he read my blog all the time.
I worry about what some people think when reading my blog. I cross post quite a few items on the local paper’s web site. The guidance counselor at the high school, at open house, said she had found my blog and now reads it daily. It is not going to stop me complaining about what a lousy job the guidance department as a whole does. A good friend’s estranged wife reads it. I, once, hesitated to put a post up because I was afraid it would hurt her. I have since gotten over that issue, too.
I believe we have to strive to let people know we blog. We ultimately would not put our thoughts, our words out there if we did not want someone to read them. Advertise it. I have business cards that have my blog site on them.
Nicki, you are an inspiration. Truly. And we are working on business cards. Because, well, you know … you can’t wear a Momalom T-shirt EVERY day. :)
As a writer, I have learned that you can’t worry about what others may think about your work. If you do, your work is compromised. Years ago, shortly after I met my Sweetie, we were talking about writing. He said something like, “I figure if I make any kind of impact on you at all, then I might see myself in your work.” Well, it wasn’t that confident sounding. But that was the gist. The gist: That’s what it means to be a writer’s significant other. Your life may be exposed in some way, directly or not, through the art of writing. So far, he’s directly safe. But I’m certain that our relationship and the life we’ve built together has informed my writing. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Thanks, as always, for making me think just a little deeper than I thought I had in me tonight. And now, off to the Celtics game (televised tonight).
This is SUCH a great discussion piece. I had a family blog for a few years, and then decided it seemed like work, and I needed to be more true to myself… fast forward to the birth of my current blog. I’ve shared so much more on it, and with so many people, and get wonderful responses. Though some will only mention it via email or comments, others will pull me aside privately to talk about things I’ve shared – which is wonderful and encouraged! Others, like my mother, get weirded out that I share so much with so many people, but I think that’s her own hermit like tendencies coming forth. But really, why write on a public forum to not share?
Yes. Why write on a public forum if you’re not comfortable sharing your work. We are writers. And writers need readers. And there is just no need for us to apologize for this. And if we all wrote a book, we wouldn’t know who our readers were, so maybe in that sense, blogging isn’t SO different.
Most people know about my blog but I definitely find certain people do not bring it up – I feel awkward about it, and sense they do too. My parents, in particular my mother, never know how to handle it – my sister tells me that our mother asks her about things I write about. She was mad, for example, to learn of my son’s nut allergy through my blog. Of course, if she was around more, she might have heard from me … another story for another time.
I do feel a real distinction between my “real life” community and the blogging community, and increasingly I feel both drawn to the latter and aware of real friction between the two. Especially as I try to be more present in my real life – does blogging help or hinder that? I think both. But it is not an easy question, nor a simple answer.
Happy thanksgiving to you all!
It isn’t an easy question. And it isn’t a simple answer. And isn’t that just the best? Because it gives us great great great riches for our writing. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you experience at least one positive moment of blog-bask, when someone you know compliments you on your work. (I’ll be in Niantic, Conn., BTW.)
What a ripe topic. I have a post in the works about the difference between the personal and the vulnerable. I tend to write the vulnerable stuff, but not too much of the personal stuff. Like several previous posters, I maintain a private blog for my family and friends, but made the choice, with my new blog, to keep certain personal details private. And I haven’t publicized its existence to most family and friends because I want a place that’s safe to explore the vulnerable things that can complicate some face-to-face relationships. To be continued, I suppose…
I think Kristen made an important distinction (one I also follow) – exposing the vulnerable, without too much of the personal. We each have our own reasons for that, but regardless of the degree of openness or style of expression, there has to be enough of the personal to be credible and authentic.
There are all variations of blogs around, some revealing very few personal details, but the writing and retelling of stories, incidents, and life lessons is so engaging (and funny) that the result is quite intimate. (It takes a pretty terrific writer to pull that off.) Others give us total open kimono – it’s not my style – but I applaud the courage to do so, and find I learn much from reading.
I like the distinction you make between the personal and the vulnerable. Something to ponder…
I feel misunderstood in most areas of my life. Blogging is certainly no different. I have friends that read my blog but only a few that read and mention it or comment. Sometimes I feel like I can’t say some of the things I want to say because (some of) my friends and family are reading. Other times I am saddened that my Mom or my brother or my best friend doesn’t think enough of my writing to stop in and check it out. I wish there was an easy response to this but there is not. I will not be mentioning my blogging tomorrow as it feels too much like something I have to explain or defend. Not worth it. I’ll keep it to myself and share with my fellow bloggers and a few rare people who do get it. Happy Thanksgiving all!
Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, though I’m sad to hear you say you feel misunderstood. I think I know what you mean. I got to the point, not all that long ago, that I couldn’t stand being misunderstood. I had to tell the real story. Part of that is what led me and Sarah to become closer, talk to each other a gazillion times a day and start the blog. She understands me, and I her. We grew up together. We each have three children. We each have two children who are very close in age. We work. We try to be there for our kids. We wish we had more time for ourselves and our sweeties and each other. We are living very different lives under very similar circumstances, and I know exactly how fortunate I am to have her. Because no matter what I can tell her what is up, and she gets it.
Do you know that it NEVER occurred to me that it might be awkward for my friends to mention my blog? I tell people about it all the time, like no big deal and it’s in my signature line of every single email I ever send out. But the only ones who really mention it are my fellow bloggers. But that connection I made just now. Huh, Weird. I may have to write a post about that. It is kinda like eavesdropping and to be frank, if I stumble on a friend’s blog from say another friends blog, I may or may not mention it because I guess I kinda gotta feel like I have been invited. But for strangers, like yourselves, I just jump right in and read and comment. Nothing to lose right?
Go YOU! I think it’s great that your blog is so much a part of you that you didn’t feel any awkwardness about it. I’ve adjusted, but it took some time. Now, I am very matter of fact when mentioning it. And, overwhelmingly, people are interested.
Such a interesting topic, Jen, and I can reply as the mom of a blogger (or bloggers), and a non-blog owner. Last March, when you told me about the blog, I was thrilled that you and Sarah had taken this step together. I saw it as two sisters using their writing talent to grow closer. I’ve read every one of your posts, and realize now, of course, that it is so much, much more.
I will admit to worrying about the safety issue. The sharing-personal-thoughts issue. The drunken clitoris issue. : ) You have to understand that my generation never said the word breast, let alone clitoris. I’m not sure I even knew what a clitoris was until college. I mean, I knew. I just didn’t know it’s name, if you get my drift.
And sometimes I worried because I read such pain into your posts, but then I realized that the writing helped you put that pain it it’s place. And sometimes I worried that Nanny would be reading it, because some of the content would shock the socks off her. But I don’t think you can keep a blog halfway. And introspection and honesty are the hallmarks of an interesting blog – to me.
But yes, today we will talk about blogging at the dinner table with 4 generations gathered around. And it will be interesting to see if we can get anything going. I would venture a guess “no”. I love my fam but they’re kind of buttoned up, and they only share a portion of what they do and think. Privacy is a big thing. I’ll let you all know.
And Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Dear MomalomsMom– Thank you for sharing your wonderful daughters with us, and for supporting it is what they are doing, and for participating in a way that (I think) very few parents do in this forum. I admire very much that you are able to do this, even through the pain and the private parts and the other mother (and father) worries (of which I become more aware with every passing year). My parents rarely comment on my blog. But they always read. And I love that they know.
Have a wonderful day with your somewhat buttoned-up family.
I read somewhere that to know a woman, you only need to look at her mother. (Oftentimes this is not true… I understand…) I only just discovered this blog last night and I am already floored by the thoughtful writings, discussions and comments found here. Now I read your comment. And I am not surprised any more how wonderful the two hosts of this blog are. Also, now I am feeling more of that sense of loss for having no sister nor daughter which I didn’t even realize was there until I started reading blogs…
I do not know how many people read my blog who know me in person. I know Husband does (he better!) and my sister in law, a former co-worker who moved to Finland, and I think that is about it. I don’t think my parents read it, but I vowed to myself that I will always write like they do. I won’t say anything in my blog I wouldn’t say to their face.
Does that inhibit me? It hasn’t so far. I have written about rape, suicide, and tomorrow I have a post ready about my near miss with post-partum depression (happy thanksgiving!) but I’m rambling now.
I don’t speak of my blog, but I do have the link on my facebook and I do post links on my twitter and fb updates to posts of which I am particularly proud.
“I won’t say anything in my blog I wouldn’t say to their face.” Yes. My blog is not a platform for communication I’m too chicken to do in person. Definitely. Good good point. On the other hand, what I write is rarely directed toward someone in particular, so if somebody is getting personally interested or offensive, I might need to intervene. Hmm…
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I somehow feel I’ll have new friends around the table, virtually speaking. But right now, it’s cooking time, with my son. He’s my “right arm man” in many ways, and more so, today.
Enjoy. Embrace. Celebrate.
Momalomsmom: I love that you jump into the fray and comment and say whatever you feel/think. My mom can’t even turn ON a computer. You are awesome.
I don’t openly advertise my blog or encourage friends and family to read it … all the time. But, I do put a link on our holiday cards that reads, “Stay in touch with us all year round at ….” That’s my way of letting people know I am open to them reading — and commenting about — my blog. As far as I can tell, no family member except my mother reads regularly and she reads very selfishly. For the most part, she scans to either know exactly what I’m doing with the kids OR she reads to hear my ‘judgments’ on her and her parenting. If I weren’t such a nice person, I’d block her IP and let her sweat it out before asking me why she can’t get to the blog anymore.
However, I do link to my blog from my Facebook profile and often post links in my news feed, so most of my friends and acquaintances know all about it. Rarely will they comment on the blog, but they will call me up or send me an email to laugh about silly things the kids have done. I wish they’d be more comfortable giving me a high five or an amen! when I post about my challenges. Thankfully the blogging community does a great job of that.
Kelly, I love the idea about including the url on your holiday card. If mine weren’t already printed, I might include it. Something to think about for next year (this is my first holiday season as a blogger)!
I currently have 2 blogs, one that is private and my family reads (if I ever update it) and my “real” blog.
Of the people I know, only a handful are aware of it’s existence. The Boytoy reads the blog and apparently looks at the stats (I don’t.)
I just need the space to be where I expel the extraneous thoughts of my day. I don’t think my family would really enjoy the things I have to say some days. (And the big secret I posted the other day? I’d cry if they found out. And flee the state.) I just feel somewhat limited if I know my mom will read it, you know?
I like how you word this, “I just need the space to be where I expel the extraneous thoughts of my day.”
I know exactly what you mean. And to have the place and to have made it a priority to work on the craft of writing, that is such a privilege for me that I have given to myself.
I actually took yesterday off and to focus on the family BUT have had the blog and real life conversation a few times. With my family and with a friend with a special needs child. She opens up like a book on her blog but it is hard to talk about it in person. I feel like I’m prying when I ask a follow up question. We actually talked about this after a few margarita and she said it was awesome to talk about but she didn’t want to burden anyone…hence she wrote it and no one was obligated to listen. Our relationship has been different ever since. I’m always thankful we talked about that, now everything comes out easier in conversation!
Yay, margaritas! But seriously, I think it’s great to get past the awkwardness, no matter what it takes. I’ve had a similar experience, and I’m glad to be able to talk openly now.
I took Thursday off to be present with my family but this post was on my mind on and off all day. (I actually had another Momalom dream–in this one, there was a Momalom meet-up at the beach of my childhood. Which would be unpleasant today since it is raining and cold, but in the abstract is not a terrible idea. You all know how to get to Westport, right? And you won’t hold it against me that I grew up here? Because growing up blue collar in the wealthiest corner of CT sure gave me some, um, PERSPECTIVE on things. But I digress.)
I started blogging on the advice of Martha Brockenbrogh as a way of practicing my writing. I had only read Martha’s mom blog at that point (she blogs at Cozi now), and copied the format of posting a single crafted essay per week. The discipline of writing an essay per week has proven to me that the essay is my preferred form; it’s given me an abundance of “first drafts” and starting places for more polished work; and, because it’s a blog, it’s given me an audience. Not a huge audience, but my karate friends and church friends and family all read it.
I love the Momalom family (I dream about you!) but I don’t love the blogosphere without reservation. I’m interested in writing and connection. Blogs that are lacking in craft or self reflection lose my interest. Blogs that encourage controversy and conflict piss me off. Blogs that are shameless “follow me/follow you or buy-buy-buy” don’t even even capture my attention long e3nough to lose it.
Am I a blogger? Maybe. Am I a writer? Definately. More and more every day.
Uh, Lynne? Yes. I see so much of myself in your words. I am a writer first. I never thought of myself as an essay writer; primarily I love to write fiction. But writing every day is such a privilege now, and I know that I’ll get back to my fiction in time.
Should I tell you that I was really “into” dream interpretation at one time? Nah. I won’t go there. Keep on dreamin’.
Oh, I could go on and on about this topic, and frankly, I’m relieved to read that other bloggers have this sort of awkward thing with quote-unquote ‘real life’ friends unsure what to think of it all. I have several who just embrace the blog and love it along with me. I have others who never mention it to me, but read (which is fine, but then I never know where their thoughts are), and I have others who never read, don’t get it, think it’s odd. (Also ok.) My best supporters are other bloggers, but I know my family gets a kick out of it for the most part. My mother-in-law NEVER reads (doesn’t ‘do’ the computer, then complains that she never knows what we’re up to, but that’s a whole other issue!). I’m curious to see what others feel about this too!
Even in the short time I’ve been blogging I have had so many different reactions to it. And they do seem to differ depending on a person’s connection with the larger community overall. I think what I like most about your comment is that you are comfortable with whatever people’s reactions are. You are blogging for you, not for the reactions of others. And that is what makes this a unique and challenging format, for me at least.
Haha – so, after I responded to this, guess what? I was on my father-in-law’s laptop to check my email and guess whose blog popped up?
So the moral of the story is….you never know WHO reads your blog!
I love it. :)