Ethan is my third child. My third boy (yes, I have to remind you of my boy parade every chance I get because I am CLEARLY KEEPING THE DREAM ALIVE THAT I WILL ONE DAY HAVE A DAUGHTER). My post-delivery, six week OB check up went exactly the same as it had 15 months prior when second-boy Max was the little penis in the sling: Everything looks good. Everything checks out. Uterus is contracted. All your parts are in tact. Let’s talk about birth control. These are your options. I recommend an IUD. Here’s what it looks like. Here’s how it works. Great success with patients. What do you say?
Wait, bite your tongue for once, let’s look back…
April, 2006
Max took some time to conceive. I had nearly allowed a piece of my cervix to be clipped when a routine pregnancy test at the OB’s office discovered that I was just days pregnant. I had actively pursued a second pregnancy for more than a year before I approached my doctors with concerns of my fertility. I had recorded my basal temperature, charted my cervical mucus (yum) and timed intercourse according to all the signs and signals of ovulation. No go. Nothing was happening. Like many women, each month had a rise and a fall. The leading up to ovulation, the anticipation of the results of my efforts, and the depression that came with a single pink line on the pregnancy test. I was very impressed with my new doc when she took me seriously and scheduled me right away for a couple of minor tests to see what was going on. I was completely prepared for something like “let’s wait another six months as these things can take time.” But she took the bull by the horns. My kind of woman.
So I went in on the last day of my cycle to give a sample of my cervix. Call me ignorant because I don’t remember the name of the test. Turns out I didn’t have to. The doctor came in the room all aglow. My pregnancy test was positive. Very slightly positive. In the faintest way. She didn’t give me a definitive yes but she sent me on my way with a quirky smirk and told me to check again in a week. Or something. I don’t even remember now. It’s pathetic that details about my pregnancies, about my children’s infancies, have already slipped from my memory. Most of the time I chalk this up to having three kids. Something clearly changes when you enter the world of three. You lose brain space. Seriously. But I am sure this happens to many moms. I’m sure of it. We just get flighty sometimes and damn it if I don’t have a hard time admitting to it. (Seriously, don’t tell my husband I just said that. He’s always so certain he mentioned something to me and I am forever adamant that NO YOU DIDN’T!)
March, 2007
My response to the birth control question at my six week OB checkup with Max went something like this: “Let me take the literature home and talk it over with my husband. I know we have to do something, but I need to think about it.”
My thought process following the doctor’s visit went something like this: Eh, I’ll get around to it. We’ve got some time.
August, 2007
Time passed quicker than expected? Dan finds out through an email I wrote to Jen AND LEFT OPEN ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN BY ACCIDENT that I am pregnant with number three. Jamis is 5. Max is 6 months old. I’m all in panic mode and hashing it out with Jen before telling him because he’s going to be floored and, well, probably pissed. Yup, there’s no other word for it. Pissed.
He reads the email. I walk in the house. Look at him. Look at the computer screen. Look at him. GAH! What have I done? He goes to Florida.
He comes home. (planned trip, mind you) He’s all “three cheers for three babies” and “what the hell am I gonna do about it so let’s just celebrate!” (Bless him.)
April, 2008
Jamis is nearing 6. Max is 1. We buy our first home. We move into our first home. We sleep in our first home. I am nine months pregnant. I mean I AM NINE MONTHS PREGNANT. Boxes sit in every corner. Our furniture is too big for the living room. It’s our first day in the house and within twenty-four hours Ethan is born. I am a mother again. I enjoy my two days in the hospital and then I go home to unpack. Enter: life with three.
June, 2008
Kids in tow. nearly 6, 15 months, 6 weeks. My response to the doctor at the six week check up: “Can you wedge that puppy up there right this very second? Look, my pants are already off. How hard can it be?”
It turns out I had to schedule an appointment. Which is where I will leave off because the whole point of this post was to tell you about the day I actually got my IUD. It’s kind of hysterical, if I do say so myself. And yes, I realize I am not a natural humorist but I will do my best to write it up good for you. And really, it’s kind of my first moment of understanding that from here on out I will do what I have to do to get by. A kind of welcoming to life with three kids. And life as a frazzled mom. We do what we have to when we have to…with or without the apologies.
Read More in mind/body, Sarah Writes, three kids
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Three kids? Ooohh, you are BRAVE.
I am teetering on the idea of three.
The moving/birthing/unpacking sounds AWFUL. And like something that would totally happen to me. :)
Brave? Well, thank you. I’d like to think I am brave but realllllly? I don’t have much of a choice. And, I sure as shit had no idea what I was getting into when I got pregnant. Although, I suppose that wouldn’t have mattered much anyway because CLEARLY baby treis was not planned. CLEARLY. Poor kid. I know how he feels. I’m the last of three in my family too.
I have to say, I’m a little bit giddy to hear that you are “teetering on the idea of three.” It’s a different, more wonderful kind of life. Something that I can only try to explain. I wouldn’t trade it, and all it’s chaos, for anything. Another little creature around here to love? What more could I ask for?
Okay. Totally a trick question because I could ASK FOR A DAUGHTER. Sigh.
It’s funny this is how it kinda was with us also, only with two boys right now. Did everything to get pregnant with the first. Gave up decided it just wasn’t meant to be I will focus on loosing weight. I fell pregnant at that very moment I swear.
Go into the drs office for my post-baby checkup and they ask me what kinda birth control I wanted I begged to not be put on one since it took so long to get pregnant with the first 6yrs to be exact. I had to beg b/c I had a c-section and the office rule was no babies being born for one year.
I enjoyed the first year of my first sons life got to enjoy all his firsts. And then that summer I fell pregnant again. I was shocked. Um, yeah, I was like what have I done, maybe it didn’t help that my husband had just told me that no one thought we were going to have more kids because I could handle the first one. Thanks. (No one knew I was having terrible postpartum depression.)
So at this last post baby check up I to was like can’t you just do it right now! And I too got the IUD. I will say I’m finally getting past the spotting and annoyances of it. So just be patient.
Pepper. What a fantastically fantastic name. So glad you found our little corner of the blogosphere. The IUD is a blessing. I love my three boys even – though I often whine about the chaos – and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But….I am certainly not ready for another bambino. More importantly, I’m not ready for another pregnancy. Not yet. I’m happy we’ve found something that protects us from more chaos for the time being. Sounds like it’s working for you too! The question always is… will there be more? Do we have it in us? Or is this family complete?
It is my theory that I lost 1/3 of my brain with each child; thus, it is good that I only have two.
I love, love, love my IUD. It rocks! And it doesn’t hurt that I’m in that small percentage of women who no longer get periods once that puppy is in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ditto, Kitch. I’m guessing that “small percentage” is bigger than we think as lots of women are saying the same thing.
And, guess what? I’m jealous of your brain. At least you got one third left. Clearly I am full of empty over here. Just hanging out with boys and their balls.
*snicker*, she said balls…
I totally need to do this. Decided it’s right for me. Checked with the health insurance company re: coverage. Had the pre-tests done. Haven’t made the damn appointment. DUH. I never know when I’m going to have the chance to go to the doc. Because I always have the KIDS. But, I don’t want any MORE kids, so I better get myself to the doc. Right. Yes. Indeedy.
Well….so how do you like it? I’m torn. I can’t take hormone-based bc and I am way too inept to struggle with a diaphragm.
I think husband should just…snipsnip.