My 1-year-old stands beside the couch patting the cushion, motioning me to sit down instead of pick up old pretzel chunks from the floor. And if I sit she will heft her solid little body up next to me, crawl on top of me, and stay. (For about 10 seconds.)
My 5-year-old waits. Waits. Playing with a truck. Or sitting on his bed rubbing Theo’s ear. I don’t know. But he waits. For me to turn off the shower. And before I can reach for a towel I hear, “Mama? Mom?”
My 4-year-old asks if I will “suggle” with her at night. Like I used to. Lie beside her. Wait for her to fall asleep. She wants me in her bed. Everybody wants me in bed when it is time to settle in for the night.
My sweetie leans against the kitchen sink, looking out the window or not, as I stand nearby. Measuring ingredients. Kneading dough. Taking a batch of something gooey from the oven. We chat. He with his hand propping his chin. Me with floury hands.
I was never popular as a kid. I was not with the in crowd or the out crowd. I was with the no crowd. Now I am the most popular one in the room. The one whose attention and approval is constantly being sought.
Everybody wants to be around me. In my close, cluttered house full of toys and crayons and games. Books and CDs and dress-up clothes. They want me. So much of the time I feel frantic, like I always am forgetting the next thing. Or the last thing.
But they all want me anyway.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
There is a reason that people talk about a woman’s touch, and a woman’s heart, and the woman as the heart of the home. It nourishes us, even as it wears us down. But it’s truly the sweetest stuff around.
Twitter: BigLittleWolf
Isn’t that just the best feeling in the world. To be wanted. Enjoy , take a break from the frantic, and just breathe in the love.
So well-said!
I often feel that “frantic” sensation too but, like you, I wouldn’t trade it. I was a brainy nerd in high school… but I am one popular lady in this little home of ours… thanks for the reminder!
Welcome, JessieLeigh! Honestly, there are times that I want to scream out for space. But then, just as I’m about to lose it, these chubby little arms wrap around my leg—the sweetest reminder to stop and enjoy it all.
Twitter: MomalomJen
Thanks for the reminder, Jen! These are the times we cherish.
Twitter: NickiinNY
It’s crazy how much they want us close to them, touching them, snuggling them. We have a big sectional couch in our tv room. But me and three boys all sit tightly in one corner most days – because everyone wants to be next to mom. I love it and resent it all at the same time, but I know I’ll miss it when it’s over all.
My children want to be with me all day, every day. In my lap, next to my body, tucked into my back pocket. I sometimes can’t move for tripping over them. But I know I’m loved. There’s never any question in that.
Twitter: millermix
Ah yes, the joy and the irritation of being loved so much. And needed so much. All the time.
Ah, yes. Is it bad that there are some days that I sort of wished I was the unpopular person sitting alone at a table again??
Twitter: lostsuburbbliss
No, Gibby. It’s not bad at all. It’s real. It’s honest. It’s all a part of being needed so much. Jen and I speak often how much we CRAVE alone time. A movie alone, a bookstore alone, a fancy dinner alone. Anything. Anything at all.
Twitter: Momalom
Going from unpopular to popular is very refreshing. I haven’t really considered that!
Like Gibby and Sarah, I want my alone time. An hour or two just to myself. Time when I can walk aimlessly about, not a care in the world. But, I’m sure when I have that time I will be sad. I will miss being popular. So, perhaps I should just go with the flow?
Wonderful post. Just wonderful.
You two are incredible. I come back each and every day because you remind me that I am not alone. Thank you.
Twitter: ambrosiat
Perfect, Jen. I’m like a magnet moving through the house. I walk in the bedroom, the kids walk in the bedroom. I watch HGTV, yes, they watch HGTV! (What’s the probability of a 14-year-old boy watching HGTV?) And, of course, I walk in the bathroom and…
Everything’s better wherever mom is. And like you said, I’m finally in the popular group!
Twitter: barmitzvahzilla
Such a sweet, simple post. I, too, currently am quite popular around here. (Sometimes, too popular.)
I love it, Jen. You got it just right: motherhood as the ticket to popularity.
Twitter: Motherese
What a fantastic post about how things change… Once upon a time, we all coveted and craved that enigmatic beast called popularity. And we all achieved it to greater and lesser extents. And now? We covet and crave moments of unmarred silence, of peace. But mostly, I think we secretly – or not-so-secretly – adore being the sun around which certain priceless planets orbit. Cheers to being harried, but also super popular!
Twitter: ADonnRowley
Funny, Now that mine are older it seems I’m no where near as popular as I was in the early years. LOL I still am though hence the word “seems”. They just get busy with their own things. However, when the chips are down, I hear MOOOOOOM. They need bandages, money, rides or advice. :-) Thankfully he’s grown back into it being cool to hug me in front of his friends. :-) In fact, a few of them call me Mom at times too and I love it! They’re also at an age where they’re fun to hang out with!