Although I am tinkering with about 12 different posts right now–both on-screen and in-mind–I thought I’d send out a little something to whet your whistle.
Reason No. 29 why I haven’t written a new blog post in nearly a week:
I went away for the weekend and left my kids in the hands of Fabulous-Babysitter-Kelsey and Rockin’-Mama-Geege. You want to know what else I left in their hands? Bio-hazardous waste masquerading as edibles in my refrigerator. In between thinking about, procrastinating, and actually DOING the packing for my weekend getaway, cleaning out the fridge was overlooked.
Upon returning from the great state of Texas I realized how bad it had gotten. And if the smell of my own fridge grossed me out it was probably making my kid-watching saviors run for the hills. Ick! I was so embarrassed. Sticky, oozing, wilted, past-its-prime food inhabited every shelf and drawer. The stench was potent and lingering.
When I returned from work and kid pick-up yesterday I opened the fridge for some juice and was nearly smacked down to the linoleum. So instead of giving Trusty Laptop her usual cozy seat on the butcher block table, I tossed her in a corner. I rolled up my sleeves, made room in the sink and the trash can, and cleaned out every inch of my sleek, silver icebox.
The result was a scrumptious sight! Definitely enough to whet my whistle. But as I stood and admired my work I realized that Silver Susie seemed lonely and the entire family would go hungry if I didn’t do something about it quickly. I gave my husband a nod, made a list, and left for the store.
An hour and a half later I fed my steadfast friend some fresh greens, an abundance of yogurt, and some quesadilla fixings. She’s full and happy now, and so am I. And at least one of us is squeaky clean.
But I’ll tell you who’s not happy: Momalom. Momalom is not too happy at all. She’s been at a standstill for a little while and getting pretty ticked about it.
Sorry, Momalom, but this…is my life, food before blog. I promise I’ll save you some champagne when we hit it big! And before that happens, I’ll show you some lovin’ tonight over a Sam Adams Winter Ale that just happens to be chilling on the back porch. So turn that frown upside down! A weekend getaway filled my noggin with thoughts both big and small and they’ll be leaking out over the next few days, feeding your soul as much as you feed mine. Love, Sarah.
Please tell me you have something rotting in your refrigerator. It would make me feel so much better, and you know you like to make me feel so.much.better.
(For more inedible edibles read an old post from Elizabeth at Clarity-Chaos about her funky kitchen. I thought about this little ditty while I was scrubbing the months old caramel spills and leaky tomato sauce stains. This is life and it’s messy and I know Elizabeth, for one, totally gets that.)
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I found a container of black beans mixed with corn and salsa in the back of my fridge this weekend. I opened it (stupidly) and immediately wondered if I had any hair left on my face. Blech!
Twitter: millermix
Ewww! This is hilarious, Sarah. I totally know that refrigerator-gone-bad smell. Rarely from my own home, but often from my parents house growing up. My poor mom had so much on her plate, it usually fell to me to clean the fridge. Disgusting! I’m certain this caused my adult obsession with cleanliness.
Kelly, beans are always the worst! I’ve been known to throw the entire container out. I’d rather buy a new Tupperware than inhale the toxic gases.
OMG! That’s totally what it was! Black beans. Well that among OTHER things…lots of other things. And yeah, I think I totally should have thrown out the container. Oh well, it’s over now and I’m the happy lady in her happy kitchen with a happy fridge.
And Eva, you are totally making me feel like some frazzled lady…GAH! That is freaking me out! Okay, okay, I AM some frazzled lady but, well, er…can I just pretend to have it all pulled together just for one little bitty moment of a day? :)
I could use a weeeeee bit of that obsession for cleanliness. I don’t think we are too bad around these parts but we could always be CLEANER!
Twitter: Momalom
Um. You know I don’t have to tell you my fridge is full of rotting beans and veggies. Right? I mean, you just know that’s the way it is. Most of the time. Right now there is not enough food in the house, but I am too tired to feed before anything. So I am going to read before everything. Richard Scarry. Cars and Trucks and Things That Go. Because? This IS My Life.
Twitter: MomalomJen
Ummmm, yeah. I definitely have more rotten, spoiled food in my fridge than good food. It’s frightening. The crispers are the worst. I found a cucumber in there that had turned a gorgeous shade of puke and when I picked it up to toss it out, it felt like a tube of jello. Disgusting. I should just know that anything in the crisper will be forgotten about and anything that doesn’t get eaten the first night, should not be put into a tupperware because it will be moldy before I remember it.
And, I’d like a glass of that champagne I see there in your silver box. Thanks.
Twitter: dramaformama
Champagne? You? Sure, come on over! It’s not too far away. Just be sure to leave the plague at home. I’m hoping to survive the rest of this winter without another nasty bug passing through all of us. :)
“Gorgeous shade of puke” and “tube of jello?” Are you trying to win me over? Because that description of your funky cucumber had me at “HELLO!”
Twitter: Momalom
Nothing currently but that is because I cleaned the stinker out yesterday. The thing looks practically bare at the moment – except for two growlers of beer, milk, juice and eggs. LOL!
Twitter: NickiinNY
Beer, milk, juice and eggs. Staples, darlin’, staples! I love it!
Me = beer in hand now, enjoying the Olympics, & adoring the fact that my CLEAN FRIDGE is getting so many responses. Who knew, eh?
Life is messy. It makes me so happy that we can all share in that!
Twitter: Momalom
Good for you for putting the blog aside in honor of your fridge. I LOVE cleaning the fridge- actually I don’t love cleaning the fridge – I LOVE going shopping and filling the clean and empty-ish fridge up again.
Enjoy opening that baby up and shopping your clean fridge!
Yes: I LOVE shopping and filling her back up again. I even went so far as throw away old condiments and dressings, etc…it was a very COMPLETE cleaning. Can you tell I’m just a little too proud of myself? Man, it doesn’t take much these days.
Twitter: Momalom
Thanks for the reminder that my fridge has been calling me for a sponge bath…
;) Glad you’re back!
Twitter: crnnoel
Sponge bath. Heh heh heh. We had to go for the deep-tissue scrub this time around. Maybe if I did more sponge baths things wouldn’t get so pathetically desperate!
Twitter: Momalom
This is SO my fridge, so much of the time.
A favourite trick around here with the really gross containers: stick ‘em in the freezer – then, the next time you remember to clean things out or you eventually need to use that container, you can pop the frozen toxic waste out and dump it into the garbage, smell-free! (If you remember to take the garbage out relatively quickly afterwards).
Not-so-lovely example: we did this with my placenta (both times) when we didn’t get around to burying it right away. You would think the city could maybe help smooth out the whole homebirth thing a little by helping with placenta disposal, no?
Wowsers, I have never thought of actually prolonging the life of the funk by freezing it! If I even put my fingers on the weeks-old tupperware containers those contents are going in the trash! Good riddance, I say! And hello sparkly icebox that I get to gaze at the next day. I ALMOST enjoy making dinner for the three hungry beasts after cleaning it out. Almost! :)
Twitter: Momalom
My refrigerator is desperate for a clean-out. I’ve got lots of questionable cheese and some moldering jalapenos in there. And a couple of rock-hard limes. And some crusty old rice in a take-out container…*hangs head in shame*
There is no shame in crusty rice.
Rock hard limes, however? You clearly are not drinking enough lately! Another Gimlet, please.
Twitter: Momalom
I’ve got mold-spattered pita bread AND tortillas littering my refrigerator. And for some odd reason, I refuse to throw them out. Feel better?
Yes! I feel better. SO MUCH BETTER! Thank you. We can all collectively plug our noses and dive into our stanky refrigerators. This is MY kind of community, I’m tellin’ ya!
:)
Twitter: Momalom
Ha. First off, I am digging the champagne next to the OJ. Inspiring. And nasty frig? Are you kidding me? It happens in this house at least once a month…we’ve thrown out lettuce bags that have morphed into something so squishy and neon, we are absolutely sure it is from another planet.
As for Momalom…eh, we’ll be here waiting. I think we all know (at least I do!) what it feels like when you realize life not only needs to take priority, but you also want it to. Welcome back.
Pathetic Admission: That champagne was intended for Christmas morning. When we didn’t drink it because I had a present-wrapping hangover we then reserved it for New Year’s Eve. But THEN we fell asleep early on the couch–BOTH of us. So there it sits, next to the OJ, waiting for an event, a moment, a celebration of some kind.
Twitter: Momalom
I truly believe there is no need for a reason, an event, a moment to celebrate! Next time all three little ones are in bed and you and hubby and snuggling – love moment! Crack open that bottle!
Twitter: NickiinNY
That is one impressive looking fridge! (Mine hasn’t looked that good in 5 years.) I particularly like discovering the bits of fresh spinach that were forgotten that have become “one” with the plastic shelving. It brings a whole new meaning to going green…
Hope you had a good weekend away, despite the hassles of comings, goings, and scramblings upon return.
Twitter: BigLittleWolf
Yes. “Become ONE with the plastic shelving.” Yes. Yes. Yessity Yes.
Twitter: Momalom
Oh this post and the comments are all making me feel so much better! Every time I do a quick throw-out session of yucky foodstuffs, I come back a day later it seems to more of the same. No matter how much I hope we’ll actually eat all the fruit I buy, something always goes a questionable colour or a disgusting texture before too long!
One of my best friends is always talking about “the pressure of the produce!” She’s asked me about a bajillion times if I feel “PRESSURE ABOUT THE PRODUCE.” It’s always a hysterical, down-to-earth conversation wherein we admit how optimistic we are while shopping, and how unrealistic we turn out to be when the tomatoes go mushy and the potatoes grow ears.
Ah, life. I love love love that we are all in it together. And really, though this is just a silly little post, it is my favorite in such a long time because THIS IS LIFE and LIFE IS MESSY!
And all of it is A-OK!
Twitter: Momalom
last week i threw out a sour cream that was dated for christmas. it was sitting on a cottage cheese but i don’t know what the cottage cheese is dated for because it’s stuck to the shelf. i don’t know what it’s stuck with. i didn’t have time in the moment to unstuck the cottage cheese. i just remembered it now. at 11:25pm. i’m probably not going to clean it tonight, either.
I
Love
You.
And also?
I
love
this
comment!
Twitter: Momalom
Obviously, Sarah, you can see that we all have our refrigerator secrets! Here’s a few of mine: a loaf of diet bread so old that it’s turned into a cement block; milk that can never be used without the kids running the entire gallon into my bathroom in the morning for “Mommy Nose” to evaluate if it’s still fresh; and potatoes growing horns. Oh well.
Twitter: barmitzvahzilla
I love every single one of these comments. It’s bonding over these little things that helps me remember I am not a housekeeping failure. And that low expectations are life-savers, really. And that there is no shame in wilted lettuce, moldy bread, and rotten milk.
Twitter: Momalom
When the kids get older, they’ll eat everything before it gets a chance to rot!
My constant repeat offender? Flat leaf parsley. I buy a bundle because the recipe calls for 2 chopped tablespoons. The rest of the bunch gets shoved to the back until I discover the slimy package a week later. Then I make another recipe calling for 2 Tbs of chopped parsley and the process starts all over again.
YES! The parsley. Or, in this most recent case, the cilantro! It’s always the fresh herbs, isn’t it? I get in “cooking mode” and actually make something that could pass as ‘cuisine’ and then life nips at my heels again and the parsley get limp.
This comment totally made me laugh and smile. Thank YOU. I know it’s just a little, silly post, but it makes me feel good and giddy to talk about the mundane with all of you. The refrigerator. The messes.
Twitter: Momalom
There is always something growing in my fridge. I am the worst cleaner-outer EVER. There have even been times when I have thrown away Tupperware because I was too afraid to open it up. (That has happened more than once, I am embarrassed to say…)
I’m so glad I’m not the only one!
Twitter: lostsuburbbliss
I always have an old jar of tomato sauce rotting, as well as other sorts of condiments. But I’m not lucky enough to have a fancy bottle of Veuve Cliquot, too! Whew!
Oh, I love this and can totally relate. It is practically an everyday occurrence that Toddler says to me, “Mommy, I wanted a cow sippy yogurt but they were no good. Daddy and had to throwed them out.” And then I promptly apologize for being a terrible mother. (In my head, of course.) Our fridge is a constantly sad state of affairs. It is usually 80% empty with the exception of rotting items and expired condiments.
So, no, you are not alone :)
Twitter: ADonnRowley
I need to get to my fridge and stove and microwave and under arms! lol
Nell
I, too, have written a post about my disgusto-fridge.
Congrats on cleaning and righting that small small piece of chaotic mama-land. However fleeting it may be…
This was so much fun to read today! I, too, had (note the past tense) a horribly, disgusting refrigerator. But yesterday I cleaned, and tossed, and scoured. You could eat off my frig (which is probably a good thing) right now it’s so squeaky clean. You go, Mom!
Life in the country is slow, and so is the garbage service (which, unlike cable, at least we can get). Ours comes once a week, and if things get too stinky in the can outside, animals are more likely to tear into it. To keep the smelly funk to a minimum in my kitchen, I put all rotting food into the freezer. This usually results in my forgetting that it’s there for at least once trash cycle, but as far as I know we’ve never accidentally thawed it out for dinner…