Spring Again

I am ready for Spring. I am ready for fresh and new and change and glee. Grass that greens under the soft, bare feet of my three boys. Sprinklers to chill us on the warm days and mist us on the hot ones. I am ready for bouncing through the air as if swept up with the breeze. I am ready to be unleashed. Unlocked.

There are glimpses of it here and there in our mixed up, messy New England weather. And there are glimpses of the freedom that warmth and sunshine bring: walks to the playground that don’t require hats and mittens; time spent jumping on the trampoline without risking frost-bitten toes and cold-scraped noses; muddy leaves that have been unearthed and partially dried from a kiss of the sun.

My heart swells when I think of the mischief that Spring will bring. The boys will be tossed outside to stomp around, to ride bikes and get wet. I will don my rugged sneakers and run in the reservoir. We will clean out the bike trailer and barrel down the trails, crossing streams and crushing rocks. The earth will smell new again. My head will wash off trouble and doubt. I will smile more freely.

It has been nearly a year since this blog began. Jen and I had been talking about writing for weeks. Dreaming about it when we were together, and scratching words on notepaper when we were apart. We endlessly pondered how to make something out of our phone calls and emails, our daily IMs. The constant communication between us never went without mention of our crazy busy and crazy happy lives with three children each. We had come to a place where we not only connected with one another, but we thrived from our connection.

We brainstormed a book, but when would we have the time? We brainstormed how to find the time, but how would we execute that? A few days passed and a few more phone calls were made, and then I got an email invite from Jen to join KidsCubed. It was a placeholder until we came up with the perfect, non-word to describe us, Momalom.

We didn’t know what we were stepping into. This world of posts and comments, tweets and links. It’s been a treasured place for me–even when I don’t have the time enjoy it. Like Jen told me recently, even if I don’t have the opportunity to write a post, I’m always thinking about writing a post. And that alone has helped me, changed me, made me more aware of the moments in my life and the riches that I have.

It makes me think of the t-shirt my husband came home wearing after an epic mountain biking trip with his dearest friend. Every time I look at the quote on the back and I understand life a little more.

Momalom has helped to guide my thoughts over the past year. It has also served as a place of reminders both good and bad. Days I’ve struggled and days I’ve triumphed. Silliness and shadows alike. I am most grateful to Jen for diving in with me, and for sticking by me when I rocked our boat here and there. I am also thankful for anyone who reads anything I’ve written–whether it is one post or the whole unruly batch. To know that there are eyes on these words a bit daunting, but mostly invigorating and satisfying.

***

The season is changing and I am beginning to feel the bounty rise up again. As I began today’s post I had a bit of déjà vu. I searched the archives and sure enough, written exactly one year ago, Spring:

I have much love and happiness surrounding me–my soul has every opportunity for nourishment. I now allow it in. I open the floodgates. I call to the wild. I banish the demons. I sound a harmonious OM!

Recognizing that today’s thoughts and emotions mirror those of a year ago brings me much relief, and courage. I imagine some might think it’s an indication that I have not moved forward at all, and am stuck in some kind of a cycle. But it’s the cyclical nature of life that inspires the changes I make. That informs my decisions. That grounds me. Whether it’s Seasons or Self, I’m glad that there are common threads running through the years that connect us.

Tagged as: change