play me
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a rainbow bridges over my life
i see myself beneath it
i stand tall in the middle
looking up
and back
and forth
side to side
the smile of my first-born son at one end
the beginning of it all
this life
my existence
my motherhood
my heart
pulled and pushed and twisted
torn
tattered
tattooed
i heave and sigh. so many thoughts and emotions. so much to do. even more to feel. i breathe quick and slow. heavy and hard. sometimes i forget i am breathing at all. and think my children are doing it for me. living the moments. laughing. tackling one another. grabbing for dirt and air and food and breath. grabbing for life. with me. all the time.
i often wish life were simpler
that i could fill my days with photo shoots
coo over tiny, blue onesies
kiss perfect fingers and toes
marvel at my first-born
linger in the newness of motherhood
and then i look up
and back
and forth
side to side
i feel the colors of my children bursting all around me
soaring on by even when i’m stuck
and i watch them grabbing for dirt
and air
and food
and breath
and life
with me
life with me
all the time
and i remember to breathe
and i whisper i love you
over and over again
to the photos that remind me of where it began
to the boys who run barefoot in my home
to the arc of the rainbow
gliding over all of us, together
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