There are things we all wished we’d known before we had kids. Things we wish other mothers had told us about. Things beyond “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Things like, sometimes squeezing in a shower is an accomplishment more satisfying than your greatest professional achievement.
So, we’ve decided to offer up some tips of our own. A brief glimpse at the many things we’ve learned since becoming moms–in most cases since becoming moms of three.
Here’s what we have for you this time, in no particular order at all:
1. Say Yes to your kids as often as you can.
2. Don’t be afraid to change your mind, or your method.
3. Cereal for dinner is definitely an option.
4. Take care of yourself.
5. 8 a.m. is sleeping in.
6. Everything’s better when you are outside: meals, games, baths and boredom.
7. Don’t let the pediatrician (or other parents) freak you out.
8. Don’t spend a lot on a crib.
9. Buy a Britax car seat.
10. Hold off on making major decisions regarding sleep, work, feeding, etc., until after your baby is born.
11. Your kid may enjoy removing his diaper and making a smear-y mess of its contents. If so, DO THIS: Dress her in a onesie that’s inside out and backwards.
12. Pick up your camera less with your first child and more with your second child, and apologize early and often to your third (and yourself) about why there is no photo documentation of him/her.
13. Be spontaneous and silly as much as possible.
14. Do art projects with your children every day. (Expand your definition of art project to include anything of a creative pursuit.)
15. You do not have to listen to Kids Bop and nursery rhymes in the car. Your kids will appreciate your musical taste and knowledge.
16. Don’t rush to every fall.
17. Catch diaper rash early.
18. Buy and use a sling.
19. Read to your children long after they are old enough to read on their own. It’s good for both of you.
20. Give praise–to your kids, yourself and your partner–every day.
21. Listen for advice from other parents, but don’t feel you have to take any of it.
So, there you have it. For now. A few of the many things we’ve learned along the way, culled from the tippy tops of our brains right now.
Bonus: If you can identify which are Jen’s tips and which are Sarah’s we’ll do something fun for you!
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kids
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Love your list, Jen! (#18 cracked me up.)
I might add this one… Never attempt to clean under a teen’s bed. Just trust me on that.
Sarah’s? #2, #3, #11 and #18?
:)
.-= BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Mini-skirt. Hard news? =-.
Wolfie! You are correct! Stay tuned. Sarah and I have not worked out the rewarding details yet. You know us well. :)
HEY! Why would you assume I’D be the one to say CEREAL is a good dinner option? Can you identify me as the slacker mom that easily?
Man, I gotta ramp up my mom skills, to be sure.
A few reactions – if the oneside inside out and backwards doesn’t help you with the diaper conundrum (my son did this, not for poop play but to then pee in his bed and wake up all night) then try footie pjs, a size or two too small, feet cut off, on backwards. Seriously. It works!
Also: crib tents are lifesaving for early houdinis. In the same vein, do NOT move your first child before your second child is born just to avoid buying a second crib. My favorite crib ever is the $99 Jenny Lind from Babies R Us – double bonus, no tools required!! Best $99 I ever spent. EVER.
And: my childrens’ favorite music is Johnny Cash, all because that’s what we listened to in the car.
I love these bits of advice! L-O-V-E
Thanks!
This is great! It needs to be published in a newspaper or something!
(Can I add one of my thoughts last night? Kids will eat almost anything in stick or dinosaur form.)
.-= Jana@Attitude Adjustment´s last blog ..The View from My Back Door =-.
Yes, indeed. Shapes are crucial to food intake. I am a an of using cookie cutters for fun biscuits, sandwiches, etc.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Top Tips: A Sampling =-.
I love #14! I started art projects with my daughter when she was just 3 months old (she is only 4.5 months now). She loves it and takes it very seriously but has fun at the same time. It is good for both of us!
http://www.tumzers.com/arts-crafts/
And I really wish someone had told me about the inexpensive crib thing!
Love the list. Thank you for sharing.
I have yet to start an art project with her (the first time we did anything “artsy” we were at a friends’ house, and my toddler ate the crayons), but I think it’s time.
We read everyday; she enjoys it so much she brings the books into bed with her in lieu of a stuffed animal and sleeps with them in her hand.
When we’re in the car, she demands music and she has so far head-bobbed to Stone Temple Pilots and Nine Inch Nails, and jammed to Daft Punk and the Beatles.
And I really wish to be able to let go and be more spontaneous. In fact I think I will start tonight. :)
.-= Justine´s last blog ..Pay It Forward. =-.
I agree about the music in the car! Miss D. loves the White Stripes and Pink!
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Hawaiian Vacation: Then and Now: Part I =-.
What a treasure trove, Jen and Sarah!
My favorite one (says the girl without any kids) is #11 about kids taking their diapers off and wardrobe malfunctions to prevent it.
A lot of these apply to life in general, don’t they? I fully believe #3 – cereal for dinner is always an option.
.-= Eva´s last blog ..Forecast: cloudy with a chance of meltdowns =-.
I love your list. LOVE it! 16 and 17 are so, so true. They all are! And, we were on the same exact page this morning- you’ll have to check out my guest post! Too funny! :)
Love YOUR guest poster’s list. My favorite is wear inappropriate clothing. Wish I’d done that when I’d had a bod.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Top Tips: A Sampling =-.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. One of my favorite things about reading blogs written by people with kids older than mine is the vast range of tips and knowledge I’m acquiring. Thanks for this!
My own additions:
- Run a vaporizer in your baby’s room at night all winter long
- Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle – until they are about 3 months old
- Don’t worry about it when you make a hypocrite of yourself and haven’t weaned off the pacifier at 9 months, or 12 months, or 15 months. (We’ll do it by 18 months, I swear!)
Gale, these are three GREAT ones to add!
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Top Tips: A Sampling =-.
Equipment and diapering advice aside, many of these tips pertain equally well to the mother of the mothers. Specifically:
#13 Be spontaneous and silly. Any of you remember the drunken video we posted on youtube last December?
#16 Don’t rush to every fall. Because without the fall, there is no learning. Only run if there’s projectile blood or compete silence.
#2 Don’t be afraid to change your mind or your method. Because your kids will continue to grow, learn, and change – even when they’re in their thirties! And so must you, as their mother.
And best, #1 Say YES to your kids as often as you can. Because saying yes to them is usually saying yes to yourself. And isn’t that soooo much better than the negative?
Good job, Girl-os, wise women extraordinaire. I say YES to you.
I wanted to put Grab and Growl for dinner is an option, but I think I’ll save Grab and Growl for another post, GG!
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Top Tips: A Sampling =-.
They are all fantastic, but #1 and #6 are two of my favorite tricks, too.
(The child asks at 9am, “Can I have a cookie?”…and I answer “Yes, in 3 hours if you eat a nice lunch.”)
.-= Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole´s last blog ..Boys vs. Girls. Case #212 =-.
Love, love, love this list!
Like BLW, I need some teen rules, like “wear full gas mask regalia to enter their bedroom” or “teach them, step by step, about showering with soap. They won’t know this naturally.” :)
.-= Linda´s last blog ..Spring Break, Spring Broken =-.
I never thought I would have to teach someone how to wash, Linda. You are SO right. (And my oldest isn’t yet 6!)
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Top Tips: A Sampling =-.
I just need to remember number 3 more often. I get so bogged down by dinners.
.-= Tepary´s last blog ..Close to Home =-.
Why does no one ever list “TUCK THAT PENIS”? Gah. It took me a full week of changing Javi’s clothes every 4 minutes before I figured that one out.
My additions:
#1. Enjoy them as they are — they will one day crawl, walk, speak, pee in the potty, etc. For now, just love them.
#2. Don’t take everything so seriously. So what they’re messy and that’s spaghetti splattered on your wall. Laugh at the silliness. One day, they’ll be grown.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Snapshots of life =-.
Great list! I read to my kids thru 4th grade. My 15 year old occasionally asks me to bring home “baby books” from the library and we’ll sit and read a couple at bedtime.
For teens I would say: Don’t give them a choice about family activities; they have to participate, tho they can have a vote on the activity. And don’t stop hugging and kissing them, even when they act disgusted, bored or mean. They need it more than ever!
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog ..Spin Cycle: Appearance =-.
I adore your advice about teens, Maureen. And I think that one about family activities should be lodged in my memory. It’s important and I already KNOW you are right…but when they are sulking and grouchy, I’m sure I’m going to want to let them — or myself — bow out. JUST SAY NO.
Yes, cereal! Now I know what we’re having for dinner tonight … Also, I would add: You can never have too many Cheerios, wipes, stickers, or band-aids in your diaper bag. And duct tape (for securing snaps and zippers on stripper-children).
.-= Stacia´s last blog ..Lollipop: A Dictionary, Part II =-.
I would like to add that while attending to your children will be a primary focus, remember that it is only for a finite period of time and you need to nurture your relationship with others during this time. When the kids are gone, you don’t want to be lonely.
Cathy, I think about this one a LOT. A lot a lot a lot. And I find myself at such a loss. Real life doesn’t fall into place quite as easily as it does here on the Internet. And all my good friends live far away. So here I am, a busy, working mom of three, trying to find the time to forge new friendships. Man oh man that’s tough! But, in the end, I totally KNOW you are right. And also? I know this stage isn’t forever.
Loved these!!!
Fynn always has negative reactions to kids music… the Curious George movie soundtrack (by Jack Johnson) is as close as he’ll get to kids music. I can handle that :)
.-= Corinne´s last blog ..Swimsuits and Sunshine, She’s Mine =-.
Love that Jack Johnson album. Jamis and I bought it directly after seeing the movie years ago. It was the first of many cds to enter into his collection! :)
My boy loves that album, too. It was a sweet gift from a clever friend who bought it for us knowing that I didn’t yet know what we needed or wanted. Music and books? Always.
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..Oh happy day. =-.
I loved this post!
My contribution would be the following:
You do the best you can…beating yourself up over parenting decisions is not allowed.
If you can’t beat them at their own game, join them!
Love them fiercely, intensely, as they deserve to be loved…The love will help each of you survive childhood and parenting…
.-= Maria´s last blog ..After the loving… =-.
I don’t have time to read the comments so I hope I don’t repeat someone else!!
You two crack me up. I TOTALLY agree with this list!! The expensive crib thing? Hah! We didn’t even buy a real crib, we went with the pack-n-play. I mean, we are students, you know? NO space and moving constantly! We couldn’t deal with a real crib.
And, cereal for breakfast? That’s what my dear Emmy had last night. Yes, it’s true. She refused to eat what I tried giving her so I caved in. Besides, I was kind of tired.
#2? Is awesome. Just awesome. That should be in every parenting book (that I refuse to read, ha!).
.-= Amber´s last blog ..And Maybe The Issue Isn’t Strictly About Women =-.
Are you kidding?!? An art project everyday? Uh-uh. Can I switch it to “a laughing activity everyday”? This should be a group project. We could compile a massive list and submit it for publication and be rich and famous.
.-= Liz´s last blog ..Making no sense at all… =-.
Must agree with Kelly; when teaching a young boy to potty train, unless you are going to have him stand up EVERY time, teach him “Tinky Down” or you will be washing pee off the walls, floor and in all liklihood, YOU, until he learns this on his own!
.-= Samantha´s last blog ..So, what’s a person to do? =-.
So glad I found your blog! I love the concept of each sister’s perspective and I am also “in the trenches” with three! HA!
Another one – DON’T confuse the diaper cream with Bengay. Just sayin’. ;)
Also, I like that book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” – that concept really helps when raising kiddos!
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..Weighty Issues =-.
As a soon-to-be mother, I LOVE and APPRECIATE this list! Especially the one about the inside out and backward onesie :)
.-= Elizabeth @ Life in Pencil´s last blog ..An Attitude of Gratitude =-.