I have it. Oh, how I have it. Lust for lust. The want…to want.
I’m not talking about lust for a quiet home, an easy dinner, a book, a bath, a pedicure. I’m talking about pure, hot, pounding lust. The fire that starts in your chest, quickens your breath, and moves to your thighs–making every limb tingle, bringing every cell to life. I want that. I want it back.
If I squint really hard I can see through the haze of these cluttered, chaotic days. An image of this girl in a bikini pops up. I know she’s not a ghost; she is tucked inside me somewhere. The memory of her hot, sultry nights on the dance floor–swinging to the rhythm of her lust–makes me swoon for the freedom of the past. The days of no attachment. The days of whim. The days of action.
There isn’t much of that these days. Action. Whim. Swooning. Pounding. Memory-making moments up against a wall, on a cool, marble countertop, on a beach under the cover of dusk.
My bedroom–the main venue for our heavy breathing these days–has become the dumping zone of our pretty, Colonial abode. Random bins and bags of lost toys waiting to be put back in place. Clothes in every state of clean and dirty, folded and unfolded, stashed in baskets and piles on the floor. Books all a-teetering, dust bunnies underfoot. We are wading in tasks and tedium as we don our pajamas at night, constantly lacking the urge to act on urge. The lust for lust. The inspiration for action.
Yes, we are tired. We are beyond spent. Our days make us numb and sleep comes too easily. Even with the best intentions, we fail. Time and time again. The distance between us expands, creating a chasm that is hard to close. We become two foreign bodies sharing the same space. Happily so, but still. We miss Lust. Our marriage misses lust. Her presence. Her fire. Her surprise.
Luckily, I know what we need to do. Or at least I think I do. We need to stop thinking, stop excusing, and stop giving priority to the things that aren’t as important. We need to work to alleviate the spaces between us. But how?
I’ve come up with only one answer. Practice.
I was at another soccer game on Sunday. The coach took a chance and put my son on offense, and Jamis fought harder for that ball than I’ve ever seen him fight. He ran faster than I’ve ever seen him run. And don’t you know he scored a goal. Two, in fact. After each one he fought harder still, ran faster. Worked. Pushed. Had the want for more. He had tasted success.
I cannot rid my life of laundry and scattered toys; I cannot simply think lust and make it so. I must practice. Like a boy on a soccer field being coached to handle the ball, I must work at it if I want to reach the goal. And I want to do that. Work. For lust. For sex. For connection to the most important thing in my life: my marriage.
But I have to get out of my mind. I have to stop thinking of a life I want, a lust I want, and just starting making it physical. Turn out the lights, ignore the mess, push the dog off the bed, and put myself into that cauldron of lust by sliding a little closer, keeping my eyes open, and taking off my clothes.
So I’m giving myself a challenge. Because in all the thinking I have done about lust this weekend, I have gotten a little hot and bothered. I admit it. But thinking about it and acting upon it are two different things. I don’t want lust to live in my mind, but in my bedroom, and in the space that swirls around us when my husband and me draw nearer.
I wish I could say I will do this every day for the next week, but I am going to start out cautiously. Because this time I don’t want to fail. So, for three days out of the next seven I am going to–ahem!–practice bringing the lust back into my life. I vow to surprise myself and my husband by pushing the thoughts away and acting on the notion that we can’t just say we wish it were better, or hotter, or more often, we have to make it so.
And today I want to make it so. I want to want it more. More lust. More sex. More life as it is in my mind. Sexy, exotic, erotic, and heated. That girl in the bikini was pretty spanky and delicious once upon a time. And that tanned boy with the dyed blonde hair never missed an opportunity to pounce.
Though the timing is trickier these days and our bodies a little less firm, I know the animal spirit is still there. My wish is that after a week of consciously thinking about it and, even more importantly, acting upon it, I’ll be able to say that the practice was worth it. That we are happier and lustier; that we have become victims of wanting more.
You can bet your bottom I’ll let you know how it goes. So wish me luck on Operation: Lust.
***************************
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You go girl! This is a great challenge. And yes, please do keep us posted.
Um, play by play? ;-)
.-= Justine´s last blog ..My favorite hunk of meat =-.
bwahaha….play by play. too funny, justine.
um, twitter anyone. i’ll give you the 4-1-1 tomorrow morning. ;)
That is one awesome lusty post my friend….
If I didn’t experience some recent lust in my life, I myself would be pretty hot and bothered right now. :-)
I think every “happily” married couple gets this post….but the good news as I see it is that at least you WANT to lust after your man….some couples have even lost the desire to lust….you know?
Loving your writing…..
Good luck with your Operation Lust but honestly? I don’t really want to think too much about it. :-)
.-= Lee of MWOB´s last blog ..Memories in Conversations with My Kid – The Mother’s Day Edition Revisited =-.
Okay, okay. So I MAY just have to keep Operation:Lust to myself. But who then will I be accountable to? Myself? That just never goes well. Maybe I’ll just start writing in code then and fool you into thinking I’m talking about something else entirely. Hmmm…
And yes, I know we are NOT OUTSIDE OF THE NORM, but honestly? I’ve never really been inside of the norm until this point in my life and it feels all kinds of weird. I think I just need to bust free again.
:)
Sarah. You are accountable! We’re all here and rooting! (But if it isn’t three, be kind to yourself. Life is crazy! And we just want to know that your lust won’t rust… )
Now as to that accountability, I think most of us would be thrilled with the tiniest sign… the flash of a verbal virtual satisfied smile, or a thicket of thimbled thumbs up.
Now if you’re looking to “bust out,” might I suggest a nice corset?
:)
.-= BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Lust and Lingerie =-.
You go, Girl! I (and I’m sure many, many of us) can really relate to this post. I want to want it more, too! Good for you to decide to make a real effort to try. And extra kudos for actually writing about it! Finally, a discussion about *real* lust – the kind that everyone is avoiding (me included – my mother AND my 12-year-old son read my blog!)! Great post! :-)
And sorry, I have failed on my commitment to Five for Ten – I just ran out of time and creative thoughts to write about lust. And now I’ve read so many other takes on it that I still can’t think of any on my own!
.-= ShannonL´s last blog ..Five for Ten: Childhood Memories =-.
Shannon,
Free-write, my friend. Give yourself 10 or 15 minutes to let it all pour own. Don’t let your fingers stop. Don’t let your mind take over. Just let it flow. Then read it over and pull out 500 words of it. I know you can.
And you are right, it seems everyone IS avoiding “lust.” Why? Why do we do this? This thought is a post all on it’s own? One I would LOVE to explore in the comments section here.
Anyone, anyone….
I know why I avoid this conversation on my blog: everyone and their brother in our family reads it! lol. I know that we are all mature adults, but something about my grandpa reading about our sex life makes me a little squimish. lol
.-= Hyacynth´s last blog ..Five for Ten: Memories and lust =-.
I am a firm believer in practice. We also get into the rut, but we decided a few years ago to have a Month of Love each year. In January, we draw a month out of the hat and then must have sexual relations (with THIS woman) for every day in that month. It’s not just sex, it’s kissing, touching, showering, etc… At the end of the month, we’re completely exhausted, but we’re closer than ever. So while a month may be overwhelming, you may be surprised at how restorative a week is.
Good luck!
Now I see where you got the material for that ABSOLUTELY FREAKING FABULOUS LUST POST of yours.
I’m just curious, what do you do if the month was December of 09 and January of 10? You must be limp fish by February?
Love this.
Love you.
whoa, nelly! Loved the post because I lost my lust for about a month (that is a verrrrrrrrrrrrrry long time for me) and it was zapped by well… everything you stated. Dust bunnies, piles of clothes, tedium, etc.
My first draft on lust was on how to drive a stick shift. Literally and figuratively and it was porn-o-graphic! In fact it got my hubby laid that night. I think that I stayed away from that post because we are going through a big change around here. When I first met my husband all we wanted to do was to get the hell out of dodge (Dodge being Michigan) but we have since made a big choice that will keep us here for much longer. Therefore I’ve had my state on my mind. A lot!
.-= alita´s last blog ..Lust for life =-.
Alita,
Did you link up to the Simply-Linked widget at the bottom of my post? Try that, instead of putting the link in the Twitter Name place under your comment.
I’m so new at this. I did link up with the simply-linked. I’m #40, but I don’t have twitter.
.-= alita´s last blog ..Lust for life =-.
You just wrote the post we all WANTED to write (or at least I think so). I’m with you on this. What happened to that need. Lots of excuses, none of them good enough.
Woot! Woot! Your husband will be so happy to read this post. And mine will be saying “take a hint.”
.-= Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..The flavour of lust =-.
Christine,
I’m banking on the fact that he won’t read it, actually. He never does anyway, so if he does today I’ll be SHOCKED. And, you see, if he DOESN’T read it’ll be that much more exciting. Less pressure, more spontaneity. I need that. I need this. I, excuse me for saying it so boldly, need sex.
And now I’m smiling and laughing at myself. But it’s so true. How can I NOT say it? I’m nothing if not honest…we all know that by now, right?
I am SO in the same place– that cluttered, dumping zone of a bedroom trying to conjure something up. :) Best of luck in your endeavors!
.-= Anonymous Mommy´s last blog ..Vampires Explained or The Stank That Accompanies Us Upon Waking =-.
Ah, this a gloriously lusty post, Sarah! No tiptoeing around things here. Embrace your inner animal!
You’ve inspired me. Husband’s in for a surprise.
.-= Eva @ Eva Evolving´s last blog ..My favorite cravings =-.
As long as you still want to want it, you’ll get there. I believe that. Your life sounds very familiar right about now. My husband recently said to me “we need to take back our bedroom”. It’s the dumping ground. The communal room. Might need to make some adjustments there. I think having lust as a topic has been very interesting this week. Moms are comfortable talking about happiness or stress or their children. But, throw in lust and it’s interesting to see how that will get interpreted! Good selection.
Best of luck! My husband and I are both teachers and we “practiced” every day for an entire summer….it helped! :)
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..I want you so =-.
Wow, Sarah! What a great way to capture the rut we all get to. What a great idea on getting out of it.
I -do- want to hear how it’s going … what would be the point if you didn’t share.
Now I think I need to disturb my 18 year old son a lot more often … I think I’ll join you in “Operation: Lust” … wish me luck!
.-= goofdad´s last blog ..SAK =-.
LOL! I love it. I have made goals like this and have met them with my hubby. It helps get the lust barometer working. I would love to read/write about passion. What I miss (with the clothes, kids, and other daily activities) is passion. The throwdown. The “I have to have you now or I will burst” feeling. How do I get that back?!
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Memory… =-.
Bravo to the return of just do it, and practice. That gulf can grow so easily, but when love is there – and you know it – you’re ahead of the game.
Keeping desire alive in the day-to-day exhaustion of work and parenting is the stuff that no one tells us about. The stuff we are afraid to talk about. And most of us have lived through. Silently.
We don’t need a … blow by blow… but here’s hoping when the lights go off, the LEDs and laughter go on, and on, and on.
xoxo
.-= BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Teach me to fish. Please. =-.
Great, honest post.
And your bedroom sounds a lot like my bedroom, except that we have cats. I will say that since my husband and I have started talking about a third baby, that led to “practising” to make a third baby has led to a lot less arguments and a lot more smiles….we found lust again….
Enjoy the process!
.-= Jane Swinglehurst´s last blog ..Baby Lust =-.
I love the conceit that Lust is feminine. It gives me such power. Thank you.
Practice is the right thing. I think you are right. Can’t wait to hear how operation lust progresses.
Thanks for writing about LUST. not around it.
Lee totally cracked me up.
Love her.
And you.
And I TOTALLY get this post and feel the same way. The thing is, I actually have quite a good time when we get around to…lust…but getting my head in the game is the problem. I have a terrible time switching gears. SO, I think this Operation:Lust thing is good because if you plan for it, it helps a lot. Practice makes perfect? :)
.-= Heather of the EO´s last blog ..The girl who lived on the lake =-.
Practice away, lady! :)
Loved this post – you hit so many nails on the head. It’s so tough to make it a priority, but when you do it adds this other level to life. When I was in FL last week, hubby tried at a little bit of “sexting”, and I laughed at first, but man that made me get all lusty after the guy! Little things can make such an impact in the game of lust! And it’s fun, when we look at it as exciting and fun instead of a chore :)
.-= Corinne´s last blog ..{Five for Ten} Courage =-.
Sarah, thanks for the inspiration!
I have been meaning to reorganize our bedroom to make it more lust-friendly. Sometimes, ambiance is everything.
You go, girl! Bet your hubby is thrilled with the challenge!
.-= Suzicate´s last blog ..Freaks, Geeks, And Squeaks =-.
This post is awesome. Just awesome. I’m going to start practising more too.
.-= macondo mama´s last blog ..Dear Monster: Your birth story =-.
I saw on twitter that you posed the question about why we’re not talking about lust. I see you asked here, too, but I don’t really see what anyone’s answer is. Looking at this from the view that lust is inextricably tied to sex…
For me there are several reasons. 1. I’m not comfortable enough with the topic to discuss it. I can’t say whether it is my upbringing, my own personality or due to my experience. It’s not that I’m not comfortable in my relationship with sex, I’m just not ready to talk about that aspect of myself. 2.Sex is the most private thing a couple has. Anyone can walk into your house and see that he’s left his laundry right next to the hamper, admire the gift that he gave you or know that you can’t go to MNO because he’s working late -again. But they will (probably) never guess what you were up to last night on the couch they are sitting on or even that Nothing has happened on the couch – ever. The only other person in your sex life is your spouse (presumably) so it’s special. (one of the reasons why people choose to “save” themselves for marriage. It’s the one thing that no one else has ever shared in nor will ever share. For the record, I didn’t do that and I think it only works if both people are virgins, but that’s another topic)
3. The male ego can be a very fragile thing, especially when it comes to sex. He might be flattered and even a little proud to know that you were bragging about him – at first. Then the reality that he isn’t always the best-lay-ever would settle in and he’d wonder if you were sharing that part, too. Which, I can only imagine, would lead to performance issues under the stress to perform to braggable standards.
4. When I was invited to an in-home toy party, he specifically asked me to not share details, so I don’t.
So, those are my reasons. If lust can be separate from sex, for me the reason I don’t share is still #1
.-= Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..Me without makeup: Status Quo =-.
Thank you for your very honest answer. Love it. LOVE IT. And, of course, can absolutely and totally respect ALL numbers you mentioned there.
My intention is never to push anyone past where they are willing to go. Okay, maybe that’s not true. Maybe I like to push a little to see where things will go, but I would never ask people to move into a realm they were completely uncomfortable with. Maybe just a little bit uncomfortable? :)
I’m just kind of fascinated by the responses I am getting here and on Twitter. I am really do believe that there are ways for us all to talk and write about lust/sex that don’t necessarily have to offend our loved ones or even expose more of us than we are willing to expose.
Is it easier when you are naturally open and honest and not all that shy? (um, me, i guess) Well, sure. But I think we all have a venue (whether with only our spouse, a group of girlfriends, or a blog) and that it something we all need to share in one way or another, with whomever we choose.
Sure everyone is going to have different reasons to or not to discuss and if a blogger I already read writes about it, I’ll read it, just as I wouldn’t shut down a friend in IRL convo. A year ago, if I happened across your blog and it was graphic (not porno, just real) I would not have stayed -out of embarrassment. I’m getting a little more used to the idea now. I talk about sex and lust (both having and lacking) with my husband and I think I was red faced the whole time at the toy party, but I went because that was a way to grow more comfortable with who I am. I have mentioned on my blog some of my husband’s irritating come-ons (things he does that I don’t like even though I’ve told him), but I see that as an annoying male trait and not necessarily part of lust. I’m not sure I could separate lust and sex, though you did so nicely – but you are also a better writer than I am.
.-= Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..Me without makeup: Status Quo =-.
I think it is a myth that lust stays about bikinis and bronzed bodies. I’ve watched a lot of marriages split apart and I hear a lot of reasons – just what you’d expect – money, power struggles, in-laws. But when I listen longer I hear about how they simply had less and less sex.
I don’t think the measure of a marriage is the measure of its sex drive, but without any sex? Pretty soon, I can almost guarantee, there won’t be any marriage.
It makes so much sense. It’s a connection point; the physical manifestation of everything else.
Does it remain like marble kitchen counters and ocean beaches? Probably not. It hasn’t for me, at least. But, because I was willing to practice (like you said) through the dark eras when life was piling around me, I have found something much sweeter.
It’s not as hot, but far more personal. Far more connected. I think every valley leads to another mountain-top. Those times when sex is hard to find, meant I learned to work hard at finding my husband (and he me).
I cannot tell you how much it thrills me that you are going to practice. I am not meaning to be shallow when I say I think it is vital to staying in love. And I love a good love story.
I vote for telling (with discretion) how it goes.
I think I need to do the same…..and I’m SURE my husband will agree. And, you are right. Marriage is work – and keeping yourselves connected, physical is just as important as communication skills and partnership. You’ve inspired me. I’m going to take that challenge…right after I get back from Vegas!
Um, Cathy? Is your husband GOING to Vegas with you? Because, well, er, um, it seems that might be a good time TO start!?
:)
Glad you are inspired. Marriage is work. Uh-huh, Uh-huh!
When I read this, Sarah, I don’t see you seeking for lust. I see a search for love.
Lust is temporary. Sex when shared with someone whom you are totally committed to is the ultimate expression of love. It isn’t temporary and can be found daily. A quote that often makes me laugh suggests that “sex starts in the kitchen.” It’s true. When my husband does something like clean the kitchen or bathroom for me I am more willing to give him what he wants. If I am the one wanting something, I will rub his back or do something else that I know will excite him.
What I think is wonderful is that your husband loves you no matter what. You might be less firm (or, as my husband puts it, have more “cushion for the pushin’ “), but it doesn’t matter. You and your partner have reached an stage that goes suggests permanence.
Sex is a vital part to marriage. I wholeheartedly believe this. Ignite that sexual passion and allow love to flow.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..A Simple Walk =-.
I remember reading somewhere that, for many women, the “Just Do It” theory applies 100% when it comes to sex. According to what I read, for many of us desire follows the decision to just carpe diem (and carpe the partner). I know that’s certainly true of me. I can talk to myself for hours about how tired I am and how dirty the house is and how whiny the boys were today. But if I resolve to jump on in (don’t you just love all my euphemisms?), I never regret it – and I stop thinking about how tired I am pretty darn quickly.
Here’s to Lust! To finding it and seizing it when we do!
.-= Kristen @ Motherese´s last blog ..Come On Baby, Light My Fire =-.
I like. Sometimes we just need a little practice. Practice makes perfect. Or close enough. :)
.-= Kristen Truong´s last blog ..Samson’s power =-.
I love this idea. I might just jump on board too. Can’t wait to hear how your first week goes.
.-= Allison @ Alli ‘n Son´s last blog ..Egg Sandwich and a Meal Plan 05.17.10 =-.
Good luck on your Operation: Lust. And more important, have FUN!
.-= Andrea @ Shameless Agitator´s last blog ..Fanatical =-.
Oh, it didn’t grab my newest post:
Lust for Perfection
You totally got this, girl. Even just recognizing it and making the effort for more lust will make vast differences, I promise. My hubby and I were in the same boat last year, and after promising to each other we’d try harder (heh..that’s what he said) things are much spicier;) Have fun, my friend!
.-= Kisha Floren´s last blog ..Of all the worldly passions, lust is the most intense. -Buddha =-.
Operation Lust is an awesome idea! Good luck, busy girl, and I cannot wait to hear the results!
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Five for Ten: Lust =-.
Of course the animal spirit’s still there!
I have a different problem; there’s lust but no guy.
Sigh, I wish both of us lots of luck at improving this!
I think your odds are much better…
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog ..Martha’s Vineyard: Edgartown =-.
Great post, Sarah, and great responses.
Your question about why we’re not writing about sexual lust is a good one. I had a much lustier post up, (one of my funny ones) but then today suddenly got a call from somebody who 1.) knows I have a blog and 2.) doesn’t know me and is going to need to be judging me as a professional.
All of a sudden my funny post had to go back into the files…. Which is funny, since lust is all about abandoning caution!
But I love it that we’ve all had to face up to what we’re willing to share, and what stays behind closed doors.
I’m looking forward, following all my cautious “No”‘s to a big old “YES.”
.-= Launa´s last blog ..Bonsoir =-.
It really does become something you have to put a bit of effort into – but oh the results! Who cares if it’s scheduled, discussed or taken whenever there’s a spare moment – it’s all good. And lusty!
XO
Lenore
.-= Lenore @ Lather. Write. Repeat´s last blog ..Into the Deep =-.
Yes, Sarah! Do it! As someone wise commented on my blog, Lust begets more lust! And as I’ll say, the lust the happens in the bedroom, but it follows us out of that bedroom and into the boring, mundane tasks of marriage. It’s with us as we bicker over lunches, divide up chores, and it tempers those things. Because we may be standing there talking about the garbage, but just guess what we’re both thinking about? :)
.-= Linda´s last blog ..Departure =-.
I say GO FOR IT!
All right! Setting a goal, making a plan: sounds like the way to get what you want. What you want to want.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..remember when =-.
Fun Post. Something we all probably needed to write, but at least I couldn’t muster the confidence (since my husband’s family reads my blog). Hope practice makes perfect! You go girl.
.-= Rudri´s last blog ..Before =-.
Holy Mole! Practice away…who cares how many laundry basket and bins are on the floor as long as you are getting busy!
.-= Maria´s last blog ..Lust for Life (…after diapers) =-.
What an honest post, and what a lucky husband! I think just the notion of having a secret surprise spices up anything. Good luck!
.-= Diana´s last blog ..Ménage à trois =-.
You go girl! #thatisall !!!
.-= Shawna Cevraini´s last blog ..Surrender =-.
I love this post, and the comments. As a shrink I have often seen that many women can improve their sex life by following your lead—out of the head and into the bed, naked. As Kristen points out, desire will often follow from the physical. Sadly, many guys ask rather than pounce—pouncing (if it’s not creepy and ill-timed) helps convey HIS DESIRE, which can also be key to HER DESIRE (being desired turns women on, while many a man is ready to go at the unhooking of a bra).
I’ve spent so much time talking to people about sex that it’s become as comfortable as talking about the weather, and another thing that a lot of women end up revealing is that they’ve never really had good sex, some have never had an orgasm. When respectfully questioned further, despite their sometimes feeling rather embarrassed, more than a few (especially from more repressive cultures) acknowledge that they’ve never masturbated.
So, for some women who may feel that they’ve never really had the lust in the first place, rather than those who are trying to get it back, they might consider a little course of independent study, dancing with themselves as part of their practice makes perfect journey toward nourishing and connected sex.
.-= Privilege of Parenting´s last blog ..The Postman Hardly Rang Once =-.
Unoriginal thoughts from your mother:
1. Practice makes perfect.
2. Just go for it (swoop)
3. And try a little tenderness (a la Otis)
And probably others, but I”m brain dead tonight.
I’m not afraid of the details. Just that the occasion never arises. (NO double entendre.) Or that you don’t take advantage of it when it does.
Ah – another one coming….Carpe diem. Or carpe Danielum.
xxoo
Love this and love the challenge. I am queen of excuses and Tim just keeps on trying and trying. And I always feel so bad that I turn him down night after night and then when I say YES… I never regret it. It’s just getting that word out. (YES blog post anyone?)
I never thought I’d be one of THOSE married women who just loses her drive. But I am… so I’ll see what I can do to join you (well not really JOIN you, but you know what I mean!) in this as well.
But girlfriend – Sunday will NOT be one of your nights, k? :)
Um… in support of Operation Lust, I thought I’d offer up this “oldie” that you seemed to enjoy back in December, Sarah. Hope it’s still good for a smile and a twinkle in the eye.
Otherwise, consider a good corset. (You can order online.)
http://dailyplateofcrazy.com/2009/12/18/dont-stick-your-tongue-in-my-ear-please/
:)
.-= BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Teach me to fish. Please. =-.
I agree with Christine exactly. This is the post I wish I had had the guts to write and discuss because it is an important issue. When I first read the list of topics for Five for Ten and saw Lust I was quite literally dreading it, like “Oh, no, really? Did they have to do that?” But it was so so smart. The comments and blogging on this has been my favorite day so far.
.-= Kathryn @ Marbury v Madison Ave´s last blog ..Happiness revisited =-.
Wow, you are brave . I am too shy to admit this kind of stuff, even in the company of friends. I’m sure your husband doesn’t mind you admitting this, because it means good things for him, right? (Mine would freak a little because members of his family read my blog. Come to think of it, I’m not as shy as he is, and I appear shyer because of his shyness.)
I hope we get to hear how Operation Lust goes!
.-= Jana@Attitude Adjustment´s last blog ..The Famous Men I’ve Lusted After =-.
Blushing. Smiling. Cheering.
Fabulous, honest, badass (yes, I typed that word. Is it a word?) post.
That girl in a bikini? That spanky soul? She’s there. And she’s coming out to play!
(Roar.)
Great post. Having kids is a lust crushing enterprise. In the early days simply because you are exhausted – sleep deprivation does not create lustful longing. But then after a while, if you’re lucky, you get to sleep at night again. But in the day, you never catch a break – time to be a couple, time to talk, other than about poop, potty training, what the kids do and don’t do, all about them and nothing about you if you let it, which does not create lustful longing either.
I’m where you’re at, working on it. For me it means investing time and energy in my relationship with my husband. Actually talking like we used to talk, getting a baby sitter once a month and going out, for an adult dinner in a restaurant with no plastic menus and crayons where the only way macaroni and cheese is served is with truffles. Slowly, the lust is coming back.
“If I squint really hard I can see through the haze of these cluttered, chaotic days. An image of this girl in a bikini pops up. I know she’s not a ghost; she is tucked inside me somewhere. The memory of her hot, sultry nights on the dance floor–swinging to the rhythm of her lust–makes me swoon for the freedom of the past. The days of no attachment. The days of whim. The days of action.”– I was out with gfs on Saturday night & this is exactly what I was trying to explain to someone! Thank you for being clever & brave enough to write what I was thinking!
.-= Kate´s last blog ..Lust =-.
I swear you wrote this for me! I have had this conversation with my husband many times. The “I WANT to WANT it” conversation. It is incredible… a small holiday and we are back at it like we didn’t miss a beat… but then back to the real world and I am back to being exhausted and distracted. Thanks for writing, inspiring and encouraging the rest of us!
.-= Crystal at The Verve Path´s last blog ..Happiness is… =-.
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