Partners in crime: when real life and blog life collide

Last Friday I packed my bags and got on a teeny, tiny little plane headed for DC.

I listened to music, wrote in my journal and sipped an ice cold Coke. Before I knew it, I was there, and awaiting the moment I’d finally get to meet my !!! partner in crime. Although she first whizzed right by me at the airport arrivals terminal, CK made another loop and eventually cruised on up to the curb. I gave her a huge hug, jumped in the passenger seat, and started chatting with her girls for the remainder of the car ride. Thus began a weekend filled to the brim with !!!

My main motivation for making the trip was to see CK perform in a Speakeasy DC event. She and her husband, Mike, rocked the Paul Newman Cat story they’d been working on for weeks. And they did it in front of a live audience of nearly 250 people. Let’s just say I almost threw up FOR them the first night.

The Speakeasy Storytellers show for the Capital Fringe Festival was done Showcase Showdown-style ala The Price is Right. It was a hoot. Not only did the Storytellers throw down some amazing performances, but the audience roared with laughter and participation the whole time! It was a blast and I’m happy to report that it was more than worth the time away from my family. You know how we moms only get so many “outings,” right? Do you ever feel like you have to choose wisely? Well, hanging with CK and her family was like hanging out with old friends. Everything felt easy and familiar. Which brings me to the idea of Blogher, and where our real lives collide with our online personas.

Sure, there were a few moments of doubt about the trip. Ironically, they didn’t occur before I went–I was actually 100% confident and comfortable about spending two days with someone I’d never met fact-to-face. My moments of doubt and discomfort were actually all about me and not at all about CK or her family. She’s terrific, to be sure, and there is nothing in the world that could convince me otherwise at this point. But I wondered, had I said too much? Was I too honest? Was I smiling enough? Showing her kids how awesome I really thought they were? Being too quiet? Being too loud? Helping enough, backing off enough? Was I being myself or trying to be someone else?

Oh shit, the questions. How irritating, right? That we do that? That we QUESTION ourselves all of the time–a conscience keeping itself in check, perhaps? I don’t know what it is, but it sucks. It’s annoying to hear that back-and-forth banter in your own freaking head–something you think you should have some control over.

Somewhere along the line I took a few deep breaths and let go. And everything fell into place exactly as it should. Because we do know one another. Even if it’s not through meetups at Starbucks, the Wine Bar, or playdates with our kids at the local park. Our gatherings take place at 5 am over a cup of coffee and our keyboards. Sometimes we’re lucky enough to catch a few quick minutes mid-day.

For me, at least, I feel I know some bloggers out there better than I know the acquaintances in my own town. It’s something akin to the way I feel I know my three best friends through and through–not just the details of their lives, past and present, but the way they think and operate.

That’s what blogging does to us–it connects us. We push past the bullshit of talking about our children’s developmental milestones and comparing teachers, schools, and extracurricular activities, and we are clued in to the workings of this mothering brain we all share: balance, perspective, living in the moment, struggling to make ends meet, finding time for ourselves, feeling overwhelmed, feeling fulfilled.

When I woke on Sunday morning I gathered my things together, stripped the sheets off the bed, and carried my suitcase downstairs. On the one hand, I was ready to go home. I missed my boys. I missed my familiar, if much more messy, house. But there was a large part of me that didn’t want to go anywhere, and wished CK and me lived closer. Like down the block from one another closer. I find myself saying this often to my online connections. I want to go out for drinks and feel like I don’t have to hide. I want to do away with the games we have to play when we are trying to make new friends. I want to know that I’m not being judged when I open my mouth. And that’s how I feel online: I don’t hide; I’m not playing; I can be completely honest.

So, there is a lot of gratitude for my weekend away with CK. Our real-life, in-color !!! proved to me that the anticipation I feel over meeting you all at Blogher is justified. That if I just take a few deep breaths, I can move past all the internal questions that plague me every once in a while, and I can fall into place, this place, with you people, who give me so much more than I feel I am able to give back sometimes.

There were so many awesome moments from this weekend, that I couldn’t even choose which pictures to share. I’ve held on to just a few–like CK in her pajamas, I’m sure she’ll appreciate that–but the rest are down below (in chronological order, might I add). Just think of all the wonderful moments we’ll be able to capture in a couple of short weeks, when Bloggers the nation over descend upon New York City and make these online connections so much more real. Somebody give me a WOOT! And for goodness sake, don’t forget your !!! stickers. Talk about INTENTIONAL HAPPINESS, BABY!

(For those of you not attending Blogher, well why not? You know I want to meet you all in person. :) However, it does not mean you cannot make the effort to get together with a blogger near you. Even exchanging phone numbers and taking the leap of a phone call is amazing. Let me just tell you how damn funny TKW is on the phone! Her laugh is absolutely infectious, and I cannot wait to hear it IN PERSON! Shit, back to Blogher. Sorry.)

what makes you

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