I’m tired, oh so tired. And I write that knowing that I’ve written so many times before about sleep, and how I don’t get enough.* So today, on Intentional Happiness day, I am keeping it simple. I am happy for my daughter, 5 years old yesterday. Somehow, she looks different to me now. Older. Wiser. More of a kid than a child, if that makes any sense to anyone other than me. And I am grateful for who she is and what she brings to our family. I am happy for her patience and her slow consideration of every option [...]
Read More in !!!, birthday, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 2010
September 30, 2010
Another girl’s birthday.
September 27, 2010
You don’t need a title to tell you what you believe (but it sure does seem to make things easier)
On Friday I sent a text message to a dear friend: Taking a personality quiz about my religious and spiritual beliefs. To give me an idea of what I believe. The questions are hard, yo. And she wrote: Ha. You really need someone else to tell you what you believe? I had to think about that for a moment. Is it ridiculous that I’m turning outward for answers? Answers that are obviously only found within? No. But I need to be asked these questions, I think. Might help me figure some shit out. The one who knows exactly what she [...]
Read More in repost, Sarah Writes, three kidsSeptember 24, 2010
She already has her own baby. (But she’ll always be my baby.)
Tomorrow will be two years. TWO! Since you arrived in our lives to complete our family. Our world. I cannot imagine: family of four; A day without your face, scrunched, eyes wide, teeth together; sweet kisses juicy and open-mouthed; siblings surrounding you, protecting you, playing with you. Laughing. How is it that you already Are two. How is it that, already, you say you are three. Please. Take tomorrow to stop growing. One day. Sing “happy birthday me.” While I pause, get choked up Not able to fathom one bit A life without you in it. For more Six Word [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, youngest childSeptember 22, 2010
boys with sticks
I’ve been so fuzzy lately. Brilliant thoughts swarming through my head but my hands helpless to reach out and grab them. I often think I need to find a place of peace. A temple to call my own. A community to join. The discipline to sit and meditate. The fortitude to find my way onto the path and stop stumbling at the edge. Life is blistering. Imperfect. Surreal. It gets me down. Trips me up. Makes me cry. Confuses me. Distracts me. Life. *** But then I see this and know that even if I’m stumbling, they are Right as [...]
Read More in Sarah WritesSeptember 22, 2010
Making the most of things
Today I ran out of gas. For which I have no excuse–other than my poor math skills–gas lights being what they are in modern vehicles. While I made a rescue-request call to Sweetie, who was working less than a mile away, my girls laughed at me. When I hung up the phone, I laughed, too. It was kind of funny. And we were safe. And close to home. We could easily have walked home or to a nearby gas station. But while we waited for Daddy’s Roadside Service, the girls entertained each other in our cavernous minivan (E didn’t even [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, siblings, sisters, three kidsSeptember 21, 2010
Getting ready to jump in.
I’ve been reading. A lot. Often. Almost constantly. Absorbing words, sentences, whole pages at a time. As if trying to make up for the lost reading time of having three children in four-and-a-half years. As if someone is going to come knocking on my door asking me to identify the latest debuts of the past several years. I’ve been reading and thinking and remembering how absolutely wonderful, how essential already-written words are to my life. Getting lost in stories. Pondering characters. Story structure. Plot. And considering how it all affects my own writing. Except. I haven’t been writing. I think [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingSeptember 20, 2010
Yeah, me too.
Do you ever feel like every thought you’ve ever had has already been thought before by someone else? And yet, at the same time, do you often feel utterly misunderstood by everyone else?
Read More in Jen WritesSeptember 19, 2010
“Son, when can you ever stop asking me questions?”
I have come to dread a certain kind of question, inevitably posed by my oldest—my 6-year-old impatient inquisitive son. I offer a recent smattering: “Mom, when can we go to the park?” “Mom, when can you change the batteries in my helicopter?” “Mom, when can you help me find my socks?” “Mom, when can we ever go to the park?” “Mom, when can you change the batteries in my walkie talkie?” “Mom, when can I have a snack?” “Mom, when can I have a playdate with Sam again?” “Mom, when can you help me with my Legos?” “Mom, when can [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 17, 2010
Bedtime. Nightime. Not over till morning.
Covers tucked. Lights out. Kisses blown. I walk downstairs. To my room. Perk up my ears. Listening now and for the next several hours for the sounds of awakening children. Hoping for no “mamas.” No cries. What are your six words today? Find more at MakingThingsUp.
Read More in Jen Writes, sleep, three kidsSeptember 16, 2010
Intentional Happiness Virgin
Until now, Intentional Happiness has been Sarah’s realm. But, well, she’s super busy being the super designer that she is. Just this week, she finished another fabulous site makeover. (Check out Never-True Tales). And, since she’s preparing for her third-annual Reach the Beach roadrelayforcrazypeoplethingy, I offered to share some of my own happiness today. Here goes: My two older kids have cameras, courtesy of GG. They use them frequently. They sneak up on me and click lovely shots (that I could have deleted upon downloading their images, mind you). They do a house-wide study in still life. They take beautiful [...]
Read More in !!!, home, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 14, 2010
From the archives of my life as a mom
Imagine my surprise at finding this little tidbit, written as a part of a writing exercise (I remember…) when I was a mom of (only!) two children. If I have the timing right, my son (now 6) was 2 and my daughter (my only daughter at the time) was 6 months. (She is now rapidly approaching 5.) And so, here it is. A writing exercise. I include it here because it strikes me so profoundly that I feel so much the same now. That almost since day one of becoming a mother, it seems, I have felt exactly this. Exactly [...]
Read More in fatherhood, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writingSeptember 12, 2010
This is My Life: And it’s never all tidy at once
On the second day of school, I spent the morning cleaning my first-grader’s room. Thoroughly. While I was in there, the girls played in their room. Or maybe played isn’t exactly the right word.
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childSeptember 10, 2010
Beginnings. Too much to say today.
I have tried and tried and tried and tried to say what I want to say about beginnings In this wonderful six-word Fridays format (But wait? is that seven words?) And I just can’t do it But there still is something addictive About trying to get to the Bottom of things in six words. (Maybe next week I’ll do better.)
Read More in Jen Writes, UncategorizedSeptember 9, 2010
Mama, When is my next ballet class?
Her question floats quietly from the back seat of the minivan As my daughter’s questions always do I piece together the words Recognize the slightly higher than usual pitch of her voice Glance in the mirror and notice her neck stretched forward And I explain that she has to wait until next Saturday Her shoulders slump, her eyes fall Next Saturday is 10 long days away In her first-ever dance lesson My daughter shone Pink tights Soft, leather ballet slippers Orange hair all tied up in a bun not any bigger than a large grape Her purple leotard stretched across [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 8, 2010
I lost my internal compass again
It’s happening. That summer ending thing. That school starting thing. Those new beginnings. Time presses on and I stumble to catch up. Every season. I’m looking through pictures of my boys. Of summer. I’m nostalgic before a season has even completely passed. How can this be? The pictures arm me with goodness and light. They shower me with feelings of happiness and erase that sinking feeling of guilt that I am failing them, that I don’t enjoy them enough, that I’m not appreciating how quickly it all passes. I’m stuck in between the seasons. The sun still beating down and [...]
Read More in Sarah WritesSeptember 7, 2010
Visiting Day
When Melissa from Making Things Up asked me to write a guest post for her, I felt honored. And when she gave me the topic—beginnings, in honor of her new arrival, son Eli—I was thrilled! To write for one of my favorite blogs and not to have to come up with a topic? Perfect. So here’s to beginnings. If you’ve never read Melissa, today will surely be a good beginning for you. Take a peek here, and stick around a while. There’s plenty to see!
Read More in guest post, Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 6, 2010
Reflections
This morning, I looked up from scrubbing the bathroom sink to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Glasses slipping down my nose. Hair pulled back in a messy bun that highlighted my grey streak. I did a lot of housework today. It feels important to me that B go off to school tomorrow from a clean house. And so there I was, spray bottle in one hand and paper towel in the other, bent over the white pedestal sink wondering if the hardened peanut butter would ever come unglued from the faucet when, wait, there I was. In [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 3, 2010
Summer’s End
September 2, 2010
I never get flowers
I’m not sure if she planned to send me flowers once her site was complete, but she did. The doorbell rings and the dog barks and I look out the glass door at a scruffy dude holding a small, green vase of brilliantly colored flowers. I assume he has the wrong house. “You got the wrong house,” I say. He scrutinizes a crumpled piece of paper and says, “Number 48?” I nod. I look puzzled. He plucks the card from it’s spiky, plastic holder. I open the seal and read the words. I nod again. I sign. I go inside. [...]
Read More in !!!, Sarah WritesSeptember 1, 2010
Go Visit Christine
Please go visit my lovely friend Christine over at Coffees and Commutes! We launched her new site today and I am happy to have given her a fresh new space to call home. I’ve had the privilege of meeting and spending some time with Christine and I can honestly say that she has a heart filled with love, and words that are just waiting to reach out and grab us. It has been an honor working with her to create this new site. We have a few things to finish up but we were excited to go live with the [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes