Ignore the laundry.
Let the “restaurant” remain set up in the living room.
Don’t even think about cleaning the bathrooms.
The dishes can wait.
Let the chaos be.
Don’t fall to its depths.
Be the polar opposite.
Repel from the sounds of the children’s disagreements.
Withrdraw to your room.
Find your laptop.
Open the document.
The one that’s unfinished.
That you began so many months ago.
That you’re ready to look at again.
Revise it.
Re-read it.
Save it.
Submit it.
(Now. Via email. Before you can entertain a second thought.)
The laundry pile will have grown.
The toy food will cover every inch of the living room floor.
The bathroom will be a little stinkier.
The dishes will fill the sink. And the counters, too.
The noise level will pierce your ears straight through to your brain.
But it won’t matter.
It simply won’t matter.
Because you will have finished something that you started.
You will have taken a risk.
You will have put the final touches on 1,458 words that needed to be sent out into the world.
And you will smile.
Even sigh.
Feel your shoulders lower to where they always should be.
You will walk into the living room.
Look around at the cash register, the plates, the toy cake.
You will squeeze yourself into a chair, beside a stuffed dog and a pile of books.
And you will order a piece of that cake.
And a big glass of lemonade.
Fantasy and reality colliding.
Just as it should be.
For children.
And for their mother.
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I love every bit of this—and good luck with that submission.
Thank you, Sara. In all truth I did not yet hit “send.” But I’m very close. So looking forward to seeing you!
I can relate to every single word of this – and especially the hesitation in hitting send. (Why do we have such troubles sending ourselves out into the world?) Thank you for writing this and good luck with your piece! xo
Thanks, friend. Oh the vulnerability. I can’t take it. xo to you.
Good work, and good words.
Back atcha.
Jen, you did a great job expressing how it feels for a mother when she wants something for herself. Many mothers, including myself, have a difficult time pulling away and providing time for self. I commonly try to remember that when I say “yes” to things that blocks me from my goals, I am really say no to the things I want for myself. This mantra is based on Boundaries, by Henry Cloud & John Townsend, which is a great resource that has helped me manage my desire to make everyone else happy at the cost of my goals being forgotten. Jen, please keep up the great work.
Thanks so much. I find that a little here and a little there is a good way to feel progress (and success!) It’s not our job as the mom to make everyone else happy, but we are better at trying to do so when we are happy ourselves!
I’ll come to the restaurant in your living room if you come to the bakery in mine. There are construction-paper donuts.
What’s that? Donuts?! I’m there. :)
Awesome! Yes, more letting the laundry/dishes be and less time using these as excuses not to finish something. Good for you. (I need to have that self-talk too.) And hey, who doesn’t like a slice of toy cake? I’d way rather eat that than fold laundry.
I am SO good at creating excuses. I’m trying to get better at eating more (imaginary) cake.
Raising a glass of lemonade (okay, tea, but my throat needs tea more) in honor of this submission, and that pile of laundry, and every single thing in this post. Good luck to those 1458 words; may they find their home.
Oh my gosh – your writing made me feel how good it is to do something just for yourself. We moms need to do that more.
A messy life is a happy life.
amen and carry on! you won’t remember your stinky bathrooms and neither will they. you will remember that you finished what you started, and they’ll remember having a restaurant picnic. win win!