A very wise reader named Cathy recently emailed me during my dealings with a certain little liar we know. Cathy is a mom to three boys, like me, and had this to say about having three kids: Parenting my first is an experiment; I practice with my second; the third just seems natural. This sentence caught in my throat as I read it. It cleared the skies and lifted me up. It absolutely defines life with my three boys. Jamis gets the brunt of me. The crispy edges of my parenthood. The raw material, not yet performed. Everything with Max [...]
Read More in Favorites, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 22, 2010
The evolution of parenting three kids
August 24, 2009
Three Kids. One Mommy.
Three kids: Full of energy. One Mommy: Dragging. Three kids: Resist sleep. One Mommy: Craving sleep. Three kids: Loud. One Mommy: Wishing for earplugs most of the time. Three kids: MESSY. One Mommy: Constantly lowering the clean standards. Three kids: Whiny. One Mommy: Impatient. Three kids: Funny as all hell. One Mommy: Laughing a lot. Three kids: Creative. One Mommy: Impressed. Three kids: Allies. One Mommy: In BIG trouble. Three kids: Loving. One Mommy: Lucky. Three kids: Asleep. One Mommy: Eating leftover Chinese food.
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, three kidsJuly 27, 2009
Parenting three: Whose needs come first?
I spend my days evaluating the needs of my three children and determining whose needs should come first. What’s the most urgent situation? Tending to the baby’s dirty diaper? Fetching a snack for my eternally hungry 5-year-old? Helping my 3-year-old in the bathroom? What do I need to do to keep the balance around here, to make sure that each child gets what s/he needs and that we all are happier for it? A few recent situations have included: 1. (S comes first.) Yesterday, I decided that it would be nice to take a walk with the kids after lunch. [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, three kids, UncategorizedJune 23, 2009
Mothering Three: Do you see yourself out there anywhere?
Magazines. I love them. I used to subscribe to many, but when the necessary budgeting axe hit our home, the periodicals were the first to go. I watched as they dwindled. And now they are gone. And I don’t miss them so much. Who has the time? But a few days ago I had a few moments to browse the magazines in the pediatrician’s office and then at the library. I came home with Vegetarian Times, The New Yorker, Natural Living, Mothering and Parents. I also have a People that my dear friend Liz, who appreciates my need for the [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, sleep, three kidsMay 23, 2009
The Three Popsicle Day
We don’t go on too many weekend family outings, because on the days that I am home, J works (and vice versa). So this morning, when I was standing in the center of our little town at 9:56 a.m. and it was clear that the Memorial Day parade was not today (and, probably, in fact would be on Memorial Day) I couldn’t just stomp my feet, scream in frustration and run to the nearest bookstore to deal. Nope. It was just me. And three kids. (One of whom I HAD WOKEN FROM HER MORNING NAP TO GET HERE.) In perfect [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, three kidsMay 21, 2009
Another post about how tired I am
Sleep deprivation. Is seriously. Seriously. Difficult. And I’m supposed to FUNCTION as a reasonable human being. A parent. A MOTHER. But my kids. Won’t. Let. Me. Sleep. My mom says this won’t last forever. In fact, it will only be a FEW. MORE. YEARS. But, oh, how am I ever going to make it? The past few nights, Em, who has been teething and teething and has nothing to show for it, has not slept. That is, not unless she is on top of me. On top of my chest. She is 20 pounds. And very squirmy. With very sharp [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsMay 14, 2009
Making new friends with other moms
Oh it is So not the first time this has subject has been pondered. And it So won’t be the last: The well-documented problem of moms seeking out other moms for friendship. And why is it always moms seeking out other moms? Why aren’t moms seeking out dads, or single gals, or newlyweds too? Um, do I have to go there? I think we are all aware of that crazy brain thing that happens after you’ve given birth, and often times long before: There’s a life inside of me. Wait, it’s going to come out. Thank Gooooodness, it’s out. Damn, [...]
Read More in Favorites, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 12, 2009
And why three is enough, for this body
Just as having a third child was perfect for our family, having a fourth would be selfish. On my part. I would parent more children, welcome them into our family if circumstances led to that, but I will not have another baby. Not through this body. Pregnancy and I are not the best of friends. One year ago I was four months pregnant and just coming off of months of hyperemesis gravidarum (not unlike my previous two pregnancies). In a word: miserable. I spent every day curled up in bed and curled up on the bathroom floor. HG, for me, [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsDear Jen, I put this in an email. A reply to your 5:35 message. I typed it all out and almost hit send, but thought it better to post it here, where we ARE free, where we CAN be. Where I feel our bond most strong, most clear, and most alive.I love you!Sarah omg i wishi couldsteal you awayand the kidsi’d take them tooand we could all go to a retreatin the woodswith a high energy sitter who happens to drive a tractorand keeps backhoes and bulldozers handy for serious excavationand the kids could dig a tunnelor 200and create a [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, Favorites, home, Jen Writes, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids, unpaid work, writingMay 10, 2009
Tired, No More – A post by our Mom
Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! In honor of the day we asked our mom to write for us. You can call her Gail, or GG, or Geege. She’s famous in our homes and in our hearts. This weekend she is celebrating Mother’s Day with her amazing mom and two charismatic sisters on Cape Cod and, undoubtedly, laughing hard enough and loud enough to keep many of the neighbors awake. I hope you are having a good time, Mom! We love you. We are so happy for your contribution. And Happy Mother’s Day! Last week I met a woman whose daughter I [...]
Read More in Favorites, GG, GG Writes, motherhood, three kidsWith every milestone I find myself looking back, usually wondering HOW did we ever get HERE. B is FIVE already? Holy moly, as he would say. What happened? Wasn’t he just born? Weren’t we just nuzzled together on the couch, settled in for one of his marathon nursing sessions? Nope. It’s been five years. And two more kids. And I’m nursing again, but there’s not a whole lot of nuzzling this time. More like refereeing from the sidelines, breaking up fights between B and S while trying to get a meal in for E. (As I watch the basketball playoffs [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kids, writingTwo nights ago Jamis suggested that I read Ethan a book before bed. Ethan is one. I can recall only 5 nights that my husband or I have read to him at bedtime. Flashback to 2002. Jamis is four months old and Dan and I have fallen into a routine of dinner, bath, books, bottle, bed. We alternate nights. We glide in the rocker, happy baby tucked into our laps. We read 1o books, sing 3 songs and crush him with kisses. He smiles. He drifts off to sleep. We walk through a clean and orderly house. Fall on the [...]
Read More in boys, Favorites, motherhood, Sarah Writes, sex, siblings, three kids, youngest childMay 3, 2009
"So You Had a Third."
This statement came to me at B’s b’day party, and I can’t stop thinking about it. A mom of two, whom I don’t know well, just walked right up and said it. What all those other folks seem to be thinking, although with more of a question mark/exclamation mark sound. “Yes,” I said. “We did.” Turns out she wants more children. I’ve only had one other person ask me straight out what it’s like to have three. The rest of the time I feel like I’m the anomaly in the town. Even though I can give you plenty of examples [...]
Read More in body image, exercise, Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, sex, sleep, three kidsApril 30, 2009
In response to Dr. Sears, Mommy Burnout, and the fight I had with my husband this morning
I am so terrifically mad at my husband right now that I want to spit. I shouldn’t even be writing about this here. It’s not a place to give people the wrong impression that I live with a terrible person or something. That’s not the case, so please take it as only a moment in time, a moment in my mind that I absolutely must purge before it throws me down under where I can’t think of anything else, where I breathe anger, eat anger and cry anger. And please be kind enough to deal with the run-on sentences, as [...]
Read More in boys, Favorites, health, motherhood, paid work, relationship, Sarah Writes, sex, three kids, unpaid work, workApril 25, 2009
What I Learned Today
Swiss meringue buttercream frosting and 90-degree weather do not jibe. Kids don’t give a sh*t about the drippy frosting. Or the fact that it was too windy to light the candles. They just want the hay-bale cupcakes. You can carve a cake with the non-spoon end of a plastic spoon! Pinatas are more sturdy than they look. You can get sunburned in April. When the cooler is empty of drinks, the ice cubes offer great entertainment (and cooling) value. No matter what, birthday parties are stressful. On the mom, but also on the kid. But they are also just about [...]
Read More in birthday, Favorites, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsApril 13, 2009
My last baby
My youngest is six months old. She is my calmest baby. And she will be my last. Saying this brings with it much relief and a strange sadness. I so desperately wanted a third child. Within minutes of the birth of my second I knew I didn’t want to be finished just yet. And I wondered and worried for more than two years until J and I decided we were meant to have another. Deciding to have a child is such a powerful and yet naive action. Now I know that I cannot go through another pregnancy. The longing for [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, three kids, youngest childApril 12, 2009
How many nights can I go without real sleep?
J is upstairs putting the big kids to bed. Em is lying on the couch beside me, playing. I am as tired as I ever have been. Too tired to be writing this post with any hope of making a point. The past four or five nights (I have lost track) have been very long and not very full of sleep. As a result, I have slowed down. Internally. It is as if I can feel my heart beating slower. As if my blood is thicker. And my brain. My brain is just barely functioning at all. It is, in [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsApril 2, 2009
From Two to Three
Sinus backup. I’ve got a cluster in my sinus – but it’s worked its way into my brain and I feel completely inept right now. I’m supposed to be working and then cleaning up the house and then heading to the grocery store. Instead I am an absolute lump. Maybe I should just let my body fold into sleep and give up until the afternoon – when I will be forced back into motherhood and household duties. But I keep thinking about three kids. I dropped the little ones off at the sitter’s this morning and reveled in the candor [...]
Read More in Favorites, health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kids, work