It’s morning. I know by the light coming around the window shade in soft waves, somehow getting beyond my eyelids, squeezed shut. It’s morning. I know by the weight shifting beside me, Sweetie sitting up, reaching for his T-shirt discarded in the night. It’s morning. I know by the sounds of the birds. I wish I knew exactly what kind of birds. It’s morning. I know because my mind is more awake than I wish it would be. Full of all there is to do. It’s morning. And soon I must get up from my bed and start the day. [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingMay 15, 2012
Morning
April 30, 2012
It’s OVER!
Wow. Thanks to all of you for joining in last week’s festivities. Sarah and I are almost ready to come up for air, and when we do we’ll share some of our favorite posts from the hundreds we were privileged to find linked here. Five for Five was such a wonderful week of reading and commenting and chatting online. I feel that my own community has grown, as I’ve met new bloggers and re-established broken connections with others. Life is busy, and sometimes it’s necessary to disengage from things like the Internet. But sometimes, as we saw last week, a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingApril 26, 2012
Age
Shortly after her older sister and brother begin music lessons, my 3-year-old daughter asked when she can start guitar lessons. There’s simply no written translation that does justice to her 3-year-old dialect. If only I had a sound byte to share. Her dad and I told her she has to be 7 or 8 before she can take lessons. She knows we have a number of guitars in the house already and I know she’s smart enough to challenge us and, I wouldn’t be surprised, succeed at a quick melodic riff. But she didn’t challenge us directly. She stood before [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childApril 25, 2012
Pictures (within a day)
It is morning. My son just came downstairs and is sitting one room away, on the couch with his dad. I’m in bed. Computer on lap. The birds that woke me an hour ago aren’t singing anymore. I can hear the sports news from the TV in the other room. The recap of last night’s Celtics game, which I managed to stay up too late to watch. (They won.) (I’m tired.) Can you picture this life? My life? This small scene, where I haven’t even introduced all of the characters yet? (Two daughters, upstairs asleep. A sister an hour away [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kidsApril 21, 2012
Eight
On this day eight years ago at exactly 4:00 a.m. you were born. And as much as I could write and write and write all sappy-like about the ways that you have changed my life and made it better and more challenging and more worthwhile… I won’t. I will say only this: Never in my wildest imagination did I dream that a child of mine would be a drummer. And that your birthday gift on this remarkable milestone of turning 8 (but entering your ninth year) would be these. And that is the thing about motherhood. It is full of [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsApril 20, 2012
Five for Five: More great news!
Hold on to your hats, people! Five for Five just got better. Because we’re joining forces with forces On Tuesday (topic: WORDS) Just Write (You can link to both blogs!) And Friday? (LISTENING) in Six Words! (Again, double the link-up opportunity! Fun!) ****** Here’s where today’s six words end. But seriously, we are so excited to announce that we’re linking up the linking up with Heather of the EO on her JUST WRITE series on Tuesday, April 24. Check it out! And next Friday (the 27th)? Yup. It’s Six Word Friday, thanks to Melissa. More fun. More buttons. More COMMUNITY! [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, special occasions, writingApril 19, 2012
Five for Five! Topics revealed. (Finally!)
I’m saving all of my creative spark for next week: FIVE FOR FIVE. Today, it’s just the facts, ma’am. The topics for Five for Five are: Monday: CHANGE Tuesday: WORDS Wednesday: PICTURES Thursday: AGE Friday: LISTENING Are you entirely confused, because you have no idea what Five for Five is? Oops. Sorry. The facts: Five for Five is a community event for bloggers (you!). It’s simple to participate. Read. Comment. Write. Link up. We will do the same. 1. Read. Come to Momalom every day and read our post. 2. Comment. On the Momalom post you’ve just read. 3. Write [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, special occasions, writingApril 13, 2012
Bowled over. Over the moon. Overwrought.
I read this book last weekend. I want to read it again. But I have to return it to the library around the corner. I love our little, neighborhood library. I visit and then bring home a piece of the bigger world that starts me thinking new thoughts and experiencing reverberations in my gut that propel me full speed ahead toward paper, pen: ideas written down. When is the last time reading changed your life, your thinking, you? (Read The Fault in Our Stars by John Green)
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingApril 10, 2012
Today. Tuesday.
I’m starting to have tiny panic attacks about Five for Five. We don’t have a button. We haven’t announced topics. When will I write? Read? Comment? Life is so incredibly busy. Last night I slept for 10 straight hours, and while I didn’t exactly wake up tired, I’d nap today if I had the time. I’m happy and yet I want more. My children are strong and bright and talented and funny. They have friends and activities that challenge them and keep them busy. They are curious and stubborn all at once. I want them to grow up healthy and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, parenthood, sleep, special occasions, three kids, work, writingApril 6, 2012
Friday morning equation
I sit in a quiet house while Sweetie and our 3-year-old daughter return bottles to the redemption center. A few dollars earned in deposits (+) time alone for mama to be still (=) immeasurable gains in our family’s happiness.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writing, youngest childApril 3, 2012
Just Write. (And go easy on yourself.)
If there’s never enough time to write how can I be writing? If there’s time enough to think about how there’s never enough time to write then am I wasting the little time that I have (to write) by thinking too much? If I’m writing but I’m not writing what I think I should be writing or what I think I want to be writing then is it worthwhile writing? (I’m not really looking for answers. You know that, right? I’m Just Writing!) ***** If I am a mother. And a lover. And a sister. A daughter. A friend. A [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingApril 2, 2012
Memento
I capped off last week with a much-anticipated evening of fun with GG and Sarah. And I brought a reminder of said evening with me to work today. It is a reminder to myself of a night spent giggling with my mother and sister in a mall parking lot after gorging ourselves on popcorn and Sour Patch Kids (and Twizzlers and Rolos) in a darkened movie theater while watching a non-animated, almost-adult movie. An experience worth remembering. And one I hope we can do again. Soon. ***** Five for Five update: • Folks, there’s a Twitter list of Five for [...]
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, special occasionsMarch 30, 2012
Offering
Me, to my three hungry children: What do you want for breakfast? (When will I ever, EVER learn?*) My three loud, hungry, optimistic children: Pancakes? Waffles! Crepes. Yeah, crepes! CREPES! Um, guys, it’s a school day. Crepes take a while to make. Pancakes? Those fat waffles? Baked pancakes? I was kind of thinking muffins. [slumped shoulders] Awwww. OKayyyyy. Chocolate chip! Banana chocolate chip! Raspberry! * There is nothing I can offer that will make all three happy. ***** Another kind of offering RIGHT HERE.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 29, 2012
Five for Five: Comin’ up!
Does your blog need a jump start? Or maybe you’re ready to expand your blog circle but you don’t know where to begin. Well, folks, it’s time once again for the Momalom blog carnival called Five for Five (yes, it’s true, we shortened it from Five for Ten). Here’s the low-down: Who: Anyone with a blog What: Post every day on your blog and link your post up to our blog. We’ll visit your blog, read your post and comment. We encourage you to do the same to as many other linked blogs as possible. When: Week of April 23, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingMarch 28, 2012
Five tips on how best to enjoy your family
1. Take a week off from work just to spend time with them. 2. Take your children to the after-school activities that you usually can’t because you’re at work. 3. Enjoy being (almost) singularly focused on family because you’re not spending time thinking about work. 4. Have lunch in bed beside your Sweetie. Several days in a row. Instead of at your desk. At work. 5. Resist making lists of things to do while you are taking a week off from work just to spend time with your family. Bonus: Go on a field trip with your kid’s kindergarten class [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, workMarch 25, 2012
This is My Life: Drums
This set-up spent a few days in our living room before we had time to rearrange the nearly-8-year-old’s bedroom. But now the new drum kit is in its intended spot. In the boy’s room. Front and center. And every time he plays them, I start dancing.
Read More in Jen Writes, oldest childMarch 18, 2012
(Be)longing [still]
For the past several days I’ve been trying to write a blog post. I kept getting stuck, so I took a few minutes to peruse the Momalom archives. Along the way I found that I’d already written what I’ve been trying to write. This post was originally published in December 2009. Was I lying when I wrote about not apologizing for my dreams? Because I haven’t been doing much to further those dreams lately. I have been composing only in my head. At night. Long after everyone else in the house is asleep. Or I have been jotting down notes [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, repost, three kids, writingMarch 9, 2012
I wish
For more mornings like this one— Time with sweetie; time with writing; time to breathe and, most important, time to look forward to family: time spent together at day’s end.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, parenthood, three kids, writingMarch 2, 2012
(I won’t even list them here)
It’s Friday night, and I surrender to all of the many things I didn’t get to this week.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 28, 2012
Today
It’s been so long since I’ve written here that now that I’m here I don’t know what to write. With such a lapse comes a weighted feeling of needed perfection. If I write frequently it’s easier to give up the expectation of success. Just getting words out is enough. Tomorrow they can be better. But when there’s been days, weeks of no writing, then I start to feel like I need to say something relevant, profound, provocative. Or at the very least, interesting. But today I’m not feeling interesting. Today I’m just grateful that it’s Tuesday, and Heather is still [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingFebruary 13, 2012
Broken wrist and a broken blog?
Where have we been? Sarah broke her wrist a few weeks back, so it’s been tough for her to write. I have no such physical excuse. But I think maybe the blogging part of me broke a little bit recently. I’ve been pushing this place out of my mind, away from my consciousness. It doesn’t feel right. And yet, it feels a relief, too. It’s so impossible to do it all. It’s so impossible to do even what needs to be done. (I took the weekend off from laundry. Felt good at the time, but I know many of you [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingJanuary 24, 2012
Memories to strive for
Sarah and I were talking yesterday about how lucky we are. There are so many reasons, of course, but our conversation centered around family. Our own childhoods, with engaged, educated, interesting, fun parents who each respected their children and encouraged us all to excel, to take risks, to grow. OK, we didn’t use those words during our chat, but that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Having good parents means so very much. Now that we’re both in the thick of it, trying oh so hard to be good parents ourselves, we call upon our own childhood experiences more [...]
Read More in Dad, GG, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, siblings, sisters, special occasions, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 13, 2012
Needing to need
“You might want to say awesome.” Words straight out of my 3-year-old’s mouth. Apparently I didn’t praise her quickly enough–in this case for getting herself dressed. Or maybe it wasn’t the getting dressed itself, rather the choice of clothing: A fleece pullover of dinosaur print that, not so incidentally, has a matching fleece dinosaur-print hat, complete with stegasaurus-like spikes. She was getting dressed for school–an event that happens only twice per week–and I gathered that she’d been planning the ensemble for some time. Sweetie and I have laughed about this particular sentence spoken by our spirited and strong-willed daughter, who [...]
Read More in GG, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kids, writing, youngest childJanuary 10, 2012
Fulfilled yet still wanting
I knew what I wanted. A book on my shelf with my name on its spine. I set a goal. A weekly goal. A yearly goal. A goal related to a certain age. That age. The one that used to signify over the hill but that now might be a mark of the last years of youth. Except for a soft middle, crowed eyes, gray hair on me, this woman who is so, so tired. I don’t feel young. I feel like I am at a place where the opportunities slip away faster than they come to light. I feel [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kids, writingJanuary 6, 2012
A possible experiment
Less personal narrative. More fictional creations. What you just might find here (on Jen’s writing days) in 2012.
Read More in Jen Writes, writingDecember 29, 2011
Repost: Letter redux
I first published the letter below last January, at the outset of 2011. As I re-read it tonight I felt sad and empty with the realization that a few short months after I wrote those words, I lost that self for a time. I should elaborate. But what’s most important is that I’m back now. My better self found. Or I’m here again: In this place, thinking about the living that happens beyond the writing. So much has changed this past year. And yet what is important is so fully the same. The people with whom I share this life, [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, repost, three kids, writingDecember 20, 2011
On lists and writing and the Christmas season
I have ideas and words swimming through my brain. Add time and quiet and I might be able to coerce them into a satisfying piece of writing. I have a list of things to do. And a list of things to buy. And a list of things to make. And a list of when to address each list. There is no time. There is no quiet. Not at this time of year, especially. At the beginning of December I actively acknowledged to myself that I was not going to meet my writing goals for the year. And so? I let [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingDecember 9, 2011
On making a photo book
Hundreds of photos to choose fromThree years of life already lived.How do I pick and chooseThe images that tell your storyWhen what I want the mostIs to preserve every single moment?
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, youngest childDecember 2, 2011
True, though so far from perfect
True: I thought of the perfect six-word post while driving familiar roads on the way home from school with (only!) one child behind me and my thoughts (almost) to myself. Also true: I cannot recreate perfect or even, now, something vaguely similar to the six words that flowed line after line in exact representation of how I’ve been feeling today (low, sorry for myself, weepy even). Truest: I have so very much. Truest of all: Perfect doesn’t exist. (And that’s worth remembering every day.)
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 30, 2011
Silver vision
My heart is still swollen from a Monday night surprise that leaves me unable to write my own words. And so I share instead a few stanzas from a song that I’m listening to right now. If you recognize these words and maybe the melody plays in your mind and you find yourself thinking of strings and harmony, maybe you know what the surprise was—concert tickets tucked into an early Christmas card and landing in my hand when I got home from work. Sweetie and I don’t go out just the two of us very often. And Monday was a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, relationship, special occasions, three kidsNovember 29, 2011
Rain
The rain drums against the bulkhead, playing a tinny tune outside the window at my bedside. I lie curled beneath blankets soft and warm, listening to the watery chorus. I’m awake enough to enjoy my sleeping family. I’m sleepy enough to let the sounds of this springlike November night wash away all the thoughts left from the day. This is a moment to savor.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 28, 2011
A promise
I sit and I look through seven-and-a-half years of photos of my beautiful kids. There’s a smile on my face and a tear threatening the corner of my eye. I fight the sadness that they are growing up so fast. Too fast. Parenting is full of mixed emotion. Everyday contradictions. Pride and uncertainty colliding in bursts inside of me. And I promise myself now that I will appreciate it all: These children. My children. Their moments of miraculousness. Their wonder. Their joy. Their accomplishments. The gift of being their mother. There’s just so much to this life. So much to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 25, 2011
Thanks
My Sweetie and our three children— four beautiful people who shine bright— leave me thankful every single day. And shining brighter, too. Twinkling, even.
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, relationship, three kidsNovember 24, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving!
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, Sarah Writes
November 21, 2011
Looking Up: A Memoir of Sisters, Survivors and Skokie
Another one of my blog friends has written a book. And it makes me so happy to see her success. Selfishly, I think, “There’s hope for me!” and “If she can do it, I can do it!” and “Wahoo for a community of writers!” Generally I share such blog-specific, writing-specific, selfish-seeming thoughts with only my sister. Recently I’ve begun to branch out and share these thoughts with other people who matter to me. People in my face-to-face life and people in my screen-to-screen life. And it pleases me to share with all of you now Linda Pressman’s new-ish book Looking [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingNovember 20, 2011
One + one = Quality time
“Hey, B,” I ask. “So do you want to go to the pool?” It’s so beautiful out (Almost 60 degrees! In November!) that I half feel like I shouldn’t suggest an indoor activity. But yesterday after swim lessons my son asked if we could go to free swim soon. And with a 3-year-old with a broken ankle I didn’t think the answer would be yes. But now the 3-year-old and her older sister are playing together at a friend’s house, and my boy and I have an hour or so to spend alone. I say no so very often to [...]
Read More in exercise, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 19, 2011
In which I contemplate a non-traditional holiday card
How is it that in a year’s worth of photos I have so very few of all three of my children together? And that in not one of those photos are all children smiling or looking at the camera or even fully in the frame? The good news is that if I wanted to send out a more non-traditional photo, I have plenty to choose from: (Hey, at least there’s an actual child of mine in that last photo.) So, what are you doing for a holiday card this year?
Read More in holidays, home, Jen Writes, parenthood, three kidsNovember 14, 2011
Jammies
Tonight I was in my jammies by 6:39 p.m. Worthy of a note on the blog, no?
Read More in home, Jen WritesNovember 13, 2011
Broken ankle day 8
A lot of time spent on the floor. But every day it slows her down less. And it certainly hasn’t stopped her from playing with her brother’s construction vehicles.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, youngest childNovember 12, 2011
On formative experiences, past and present.
A weekend of friends. A sunburn. Conversation. Camaraderie. Picture taking. A dinner. A brunch. A row. Reminiscing. Reunions can be fraught with the unknown. With vanity that rears its ugly head, pointing out my too-long, uncut hair. My unfit middle. My dry, blotchy skin and tired eyes. Vanity can hold me back, grip me in the chest. Make me want to be invisible. But you can’t have the full experience and be invisible. You have to risk being the most wrinkly, most tired-looking, most frazzled, nervous person in the room (or at the boathouse, as it were). You have to [...]
Read More in body image, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, special occasions, three kidsNovember 11, 2011
Three happy kids = One happy mama
So many childhood moments worth saving Few more heartwarming than this one: ********
Read More in Jen Writes, siblings, three kidsNovember 8, 2011
Crossing. To safety.
There’s a part at the end of my favorite book, Crossing to Safety, where one of the main characters is dying. She’s a matriarch. She’s a force. She’s the one to whom everyone looks—for direction, for ideas, for guidance. During her whole life, she has run the show. And now the show is her death. She’s trying to die with grace. She’s trying to make it easy on everyone else. She chooses her best female friend and her daughter and her sister to ferry her to the place she has chosen to die. Her husband is furious. He feels left [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kids, writingOctober 28, 2011
11:00 a.m. to 11:09 a.m.
Twenty minutes. Twenty things to do. Nineteen of them for other people. One for me. One thing: Write. Not time enough for grand ideas Not time enough for starting anew Not time to revise what’s there Not time to add to it. And so I sit. Nimble fingers, ideas whispering from a tired mind. I tap out a few words. Reminding myself that 20 (nine?) minutes isn’t enough to do 20 things Reminding myself that sitting, thinking, writing even for the briefest, still moment is a sound decision. For me.
Read More in chores, home, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingOctober 25, 2011
Rainbow
I saw a rainbow on my drive in to work today. I’m a sappy, sentimental, metaphor-loving writer. You can imagine how happy I was—practically grinning—to find myself driving under a perfect arc of ROY-G-BIV. I do not condone taking photos while driving, but I couldn’t resist. This photo captures not even half of the architecturally breathtaking half-circle that created a tunnel over Route 9. Only once before have I seen such a rainbow. It was a few years ago, driving the reverse trip. Leaving the town in which I work, and in which Sweetie’s sister also lives. Our sweet family, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, special occasions, three kids, work, writingOctober 24, 2011
Clean house. Clear mind.
All weekend I cleaned. All. Weekend. With exception of a few hours on the soccer sidelines Saturday morning, I spent two full days de-cluttering, sorting, sweeping, dusting, washing, organizing, digging out, scrubbing and generally donning rubber gloves, ripped jeans and an old college T-shirt. Our house looks anew. And smells a bit like peppermint castile soap, which I used liberally not just because everything needed washing but because rodents don’t like peppermint. And in the darkest hours of night, the sounds of skittering in our humble abode can be deafening. Especially as the nights are growing colder. I know it [...]
Read More in home, housework, Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 21, 2011
Silence:
October 18, 2011
Incomplete
I’ve taken a little time off from writing. It’s been about 10 days. But it seems much longer. I’ve wanted to hit the keyboard for a few days. Now that I’m here, though, I feel klunky. I don’t know where to start. It’s not that I haven’t had time to sit and write. That’s not a new barrier to my output. And it’s not that I haven’t had anything to write about. Finding ideas is not a stumbling block for me. It’s that I needed to do more than Just Write. I needed to process. I needed to focus on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingOctober 7, 2011
From patient to mother: A birth story
It’s likely my life was saved by my obstetrician. There I was, heading blithely to his office for my regular check up–weekly now. I was wearing my favorite blue linen maternity pants, even though it wasn’t quite warm enough for them. It was my first official day of leave from work. A Tuesday. I was looking forward to a few weeks at home. Folding onesies, reading baby books, finally settling on a name for our son. Seven words—and my doctor’s eyes fixed on mine—changed my life forever: “You’re going to have this baby today.” These were the days before Sweetie [...]
Read More in health, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsOctober 5, 2011
Daily demands
I have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish today. One is crossed off. I have finished half of another (small) task. The rest of the list is untouched. It is 2:20 p.m., which means that I have to leave the house in no more than 30 minutes to go pick up the two older kids. Nothing will get crossed off of my list once all three kids are home. There will be snacks and after school time spent together. I’m only home at this time of day twice each week, and I like to see my kids [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 30, 2011
How to write a blog post
Sit amidst clutter: papers, clothes, crumbs (take no notice of the mess) Keep one ear open for conflict (raised voices, crying; thud, slap, smack) Try to recall the amazing idea that hit you at 2 a.m. (help your toddler in the bathroom) Fight the frustration of not remembering Start pounding at the keys anyway Breathe as you hit your stride (hop up, shake Goldfish in cup) Start feeling confident at the tapping of your fingers telling your story Smile. Engage in positive self talk. You can do this! It’s possible! (Glance up at the clock, insistent) Calculate the minutes left [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 27, 2011
No.
You know those people who “won’t take no for an answer?” I’m not one of them. I expect no. I don’t ask or pursue because I assume no. Of course this makes a yes very exciting. It also raises the yes stakes. High. I’m not a person who takes no for an answer. And now I ask myself why. Why? Am I afraid to fail? [Maybe. Although I think I'm afraid to not be ready to try. Is that the same thing?] Am I afraid to put myself first? [Yes.] Am I afraid or am I just me? I remember [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 23, 2011
Friday morning all to myself
Right now: Three kids in school Me alone in a quiet library To write: Blog post warm up Then words, sentences, paragraphs. Novel progress Question: Should I be pacing myself? Truth: Writing makes my heart beat Faster and faster with every word Answer: Let the words fall quickly Let the words set the pace
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 20, 2011
Just Write: In which the critic gets beaten down and the words begin to flow
Just write. Sure. Easier said than done. The inner critic is almost as loud as the children, forever in the background. Forever leaving the background to enter my space. Here. Now. Right now. Just write. Fill the white space with your words. My words. The writer writes. The words must come. You cannot wait for the right words or the right time or the right place. You have to demand them now. Frequently. Always. Every day. Every minute. The more you demand them, the easier it is to see them flow from your fingers. Yes. Flow! Right onto the screen. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingSeptember 14, 2011
“This Beautiful Life”: A Momalom book review
A few weeks ago I read Helen Schulman’s novel This Beautiful Life, a novel hinged upon an email transaction gone wrong. My expectations for this book were high. The early buzz reached me through my email inbox, my Twitter account, Facebook, People magazine and on the front page of the Sunday Times “Book Review.” I felt bombarded, honestly, and probably wouldn’t have read the book right away had I not been offered a copy from the publisher. I tend to resist “must reads,” but with all this hype and a review copy on its way to me, I pushed aside [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingSeptember 11, 2011
I’m always in love
I sit amongst the chaos. Chaos. Two girls coloring to my right. Crouched over a shared coloring book. Using those “smelly” markers that always leave polka dots on the ends of their noses when they bring them close to sniff the evergreen and grape scents. “Mama, you think I can take art class?” asks my girl. Almost 6 years old. Her talent flowing through her fingers in a way I envy. And then I realize, as she fills in the spaces between the thin black lines, choosing each color so precisely, I sit only a fraction of a room away, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingSeptember 9, 2011
Young at Heart
Last night my family and I walked together to the town center to see this amazing singing group. (Take a look. I’ll wait here.) There are few more moving examples of life lived to its fullest. We should all be so lucky.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 7, 2011
Eye level
I didn’t get teary eyed at kindergarten drop-off yesterday. My middle child wearing her too-heavy backpack let go of my hand and headed straight into her new classroom for her first day. She paused for a moment in front of one of her new classmates (in tears) until one of the teachers swooped in, bending down to my nearly 6-year-old’s eye level. Then I paused for a moment, wishing I could be a fly on a the wall of this classroom–the same one my now second-grader started his own school career in. But before I completed the thought I turned [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsAugust 19, 2011
Curiosity
A sleepover for my energetic son: Late night with friends. Goofiness. Noise. (An unexpected night in a tent.) A walk downtown. Three of us A sweet girl on my left A sweet girl on my right Their soft, warm hands in mine. We form a chain. Smile broadly. Wonder what their brother is doing. (An unexpected night on the town.)
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsAugust 15, 2011
Countdown: 53 weeks
A week from today I’ll be 39. Which means in 53 weeks I’ll be 40. I’m not one to put a certain weight on a certain age, but 40 seems like a good target age. For reaching a goal. For finishing a novel, say. As it turns out, I have a novel in progress. I used to be embarrassed to say this out loud. To tell anyone but my closest friends, my sister, my mom. Much to my decreasing surprise I found out that everyone else had one, too. Writing a novel, it seemed, was just one of those things [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingAugust 12, 2011
Manuscript
The words come. The words go. There are better ones. Always better. Then, no, the first phrasing worked. Back to that. Yes. That. Good. And then, upon rereading the draft I realize. First person is better. Let’s not be omniscient. And so the revisions begin again. 1,000 words 2,000. Until the certainty. Omniscience. Yes. Back to the original draft. Confident That the voice is right now It was right all along. Sigh. The words they come. And go. And somehow add up. To 21,357. I commit to the goal: 75,000. I am almost (gasp!) one-third there.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingAugust 3, 2011
Everyday. Dreaming.
This morning I have done laundry. And dishes. I have considered the merits of sweeping the floor before lunch. I have gone upstairs to find “my big piggy, mama!” I have given my 2-year-old a big bowl of cherries and helped her wash her face and hands. I have listened to the Wiggles, whose grating voices blare from the red toy guitar that always seems to reappear from the latest place I’ve hidden it. I have had my coffee, and a handful of Ritz crackers. Returned emails. Read the paper. Finished a book. Found a missing sneaker. This was not [...]
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 29, 2011
Disappointment. Then, Hope?
Sweet: How I want to feel. Sour: How I feel these days. Maybe savory is in my future. A bridge from here to there.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJuly 19, 2011
501 on the coast of South Carolina
The last post, Sarah’s most recent and one of her best, was our 500th here at Momalom. 500. Now that seems worthy of ceremony, even if it’s after the fact. But ceremony is far from our reality right now, here during post 501, because we are on vacation, Sarah and I. With our spouses. And our brother and sister-in-law. And all of our nine combined children (eldest: 8.9; youngest: 2.9). And our mother (Geege!) We are on vacation. And we are having fun. Swim, snack, rinse, nap, repeat. Sarah’s husband has certain bartending abilities, and he sent me to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, siblings, special occasions, three kids, three kids (six kids)July 10, 2011
10 minutes on a Sunday morning
Sunday morning, and the day stretches out before me in that proverbial way a day does when there’s nothing planned and only one parent home and three kids walking aimlessly through the house. Run-on sentences fill my head. There are the things that I could do: Laundry. Dishes. Get down on the floor and play with the kids. There are the things that I want to do: Sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and gaze up at the trees. Watch the cardinal couple flirting. Prepare for the day by preparing words for the page. There are the [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 8, 2011
Line
Every day I walk the line Mother, partner, Mommy, sister, Mama, daughter Writer, 10 minutes for my words. Every day the line bends unexpectedly bringing one me to the front responding, nurturing, listening. Welcoming all ideas. Every day—surprised by the line, I watch as my varied selves exist together, filling me with inspiration. Every day the line of my pen becomes bolder as my lives unite, begging words to find the page.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingJune 26, 2011
Perhaps the best P.S. in history
There’s nothing like cleaning out file cabinets to bring inspiration out of hiding. As I sit at my newly dusted, decluttered desk, surrounded by discovered/recovered emails from almost 15 years ago, I’m reliving a part of my past. There is overwhelming sadness that this folder stuffed full of dozens of printed emails is a record of a part of my life that also represents the last few years of my dad’s life. It is strange to go back and read the words of my three most intimate friends—my mom, my friend Cara and Sarah—with the knowledge now of how many [...]
Read More in Dad, GG, history aka before kids, Jen WritesJune 24, 2011
Anniversary
If we could devote this day to just the two of us as the calendar says we might how would we pass the time? Walking to town hand in hand browsing in bookstores and music stores Sitting outside, watching people go by Even enjoying a quiet meal together? That’s how we spent our days before one address, before three children. I think back and am grateful. We leaped together. We’re still aloft.
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, relationshipJune 21, 2011
Conflicted
I’m conflicted about what to write here lately. I compose posts in my head nearly every day. Sometimes I even get a chance to jot them down. But then when I find myself with time to really write, I second-guess myself. I’m becoming too self-conscious, a problem I have in real life but one that I’ve been able to keep at bay here. What to do? Write that post about Father’s Day? The one that talks about how much I miss my dad? How having children changed the way I perceive the day now? It’s not so much about loss [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingJune 17, 2011
Toddler speak
“Tind of,” she says—head tilted, eyes squinting, hands out, palms up. And though I forgot the question that came from me—insistent, impatient I am tickled by her answer, her expression. Always beyond her years. For more Six Word Fridays, visit the lovely Melissa.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, youngest childJune 7, 2011
Questions (and parentheticals) and possible despair
At what age is a mid-life crisis likely? (Do people still have mid-life crises?) Also, am I always depressed in June, or is there something about this particular June that has sent me cascading downward into self pity? (Obviously this is not a question that can be answered by anyone other than myself and a medical professional. Or Sarah. She probably could help.) Will I ever have enough patience? (OK, so I know the answer to this one.) If I’ve had a cold for weeks and weeks (and weeks) at one point do I start really considering the fact that [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, parenthoodMay 31, 2011
Choreography
Last weekend, my oldest daughter and forever middle child had her first full-length ballet recital. I cried. (Of course.) She didn’t. She flitted onstage and off, fully embracing her butterfly role. Oh the pride. To see her up there in her blue flowing dress, flowers in her tightly wound orange hair. To see the older dancers and remember my own years on stage. I had to hold back. I had to stop from thinking about myself. About my own childhood. Adolescence. About all that I wanted to accomplish and haven’t yet. About all that I have accomplished—love, a life together, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsMay 27, 2011
One (six) word(s) at a time.
All week I kept wanting, wanting to write. Ideas crowding my thoughts leaving me impatient with myself. Failed. Again, no time. Never enough time. ••••• Except, here, in quick, six-word spurts I can get a few words out through my fingers to keyboard to see on screen. To share. •••• Maybe it is in this way that I am clearing the path for the paragraphs to come. And the pages. And the book.
Read More in Jen Writes, writingMay 20, 2011
“Charming”
My mother used to always say when we kids did something unpleasant. That displeased tone in her voice at odds with the lucky-sounding word.
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, three kidsMay 13, 2011
Wisdom (n.)
The ability to see the beauty in the messy moments of parenting. Add your own six-word wisdom at www.makingthingsup.com.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, youngest childI intended to get all up on my Poetry-Kicks-Ass high horse last month. You know, during NATIONAL POETRY MONTH. Somehow, the month completely got away from me. Then, this morning, I was listening to a CD of Billy Collins reading his own poetry. (Have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy the public library and the treasures that I find there?) Many of the poems Collins read I have read. Over and over. I own all but his most recent volume of poetry. But to hear a poem read in the voice of its author is such a gift. I [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 8, 2011
For GG on Mother’s Day
Two Sundays ago it was GG’s birthday. And I wanted to write a tribute to her, much in the way that Sarah did last year. But this year (and, to my surprise, for the first time in her life) my mom shared her birthday with Easter, and so the time I would have liked to spend on the tribute was spent in the company of the Easter Bunny. And now it’s Mother’s Day. And I started writing this post a week ago, trying to grasp the next chance to pay tribute to the remarkable woman who is my mother. And [...]
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 6, 2011
Yesterday
I was at my wits’ end. Oh, wait. That’s Every Single Day. Mothering is so full of repetition. Moods. Chores. Needs. Meals. Noise. Mess. Sometimes it helps to stop. STOP. And remember: I am here, now. And I chose this. (I did!) Yesterday I was at the end of a rope never long enough. But today I’m not there yet.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMay 5, 2011
Wheels turning
I get in the car and start driving And my brain awakens to the ideas it’s been holding back Amidst the morning needs of getting out the door Helping to get others out the door. I drive and I think and my awakened synapses fire (is that the terminology? is that the science of it?) Ideas come from every direction demanding my attention And I try to keep my focus on the road Without losing sight of the creativity that sustains me That demands my time and my dedication and my patience The same needs that so often are taken [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingApril 30, 2011
Words in solitude
It is quiet. I am curled up on GG’s red couch.Wrapped in her lush, blue, faux-velvet throw. It is quiet (still!) I am alone.The lamplight glows just beyond my shoulder. It is quiet.And the nighttime sounds of this house are almost as familiar as those I hear from my own bed, 90 miles away. If I could hear them now from my nest on the couch, the purrs of my sleeping children–upstairs in their GG beds–surely they would sound the same here as everywhere. But it is quiet. It is. It is quiet. And it is glorious.
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, three kids, writingApril 25, 2011
Posted
My son has posted hours outside his bedroom door. Although I’m fairly sure these correlate to the game of library that all three kids were playing earlier today, I can’t help but let my imagination get the best of me. Perhaps these hours could be the time he spends alone in his room, entertaining himself? Perhaps they could refer to time spent getting along (continuously) with his siblings. Perhaps these spans of time could be ones that the two of us could spend together, with no attitude (him) or impatience (me). Upon closer consideration, of course, none of [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, oldest childApril 24, 2011
Happy Birthday, GG!
This year, GG’s birthday falls on Easter, which for me means that I’ve been spending my time cleaning the house in preparation for the Easter Bunny’s arrival instead of writing a birthday post for her, which I would have liked to do. But last year, Sarah wrote the following, and it’s one of her best. Happy Birthday, Mom! A couple of generations ago a baby girl was born. Her parents named her Gail. She grew and grew and welcomed five brothers and sisters to her tribe. Eventually, her siblings dubbed her “sister-mother” and joked that her daughterly perfection was the [...]
Read More in GG, holidays, Jen Writes, repost, Sarah WritesApril 22, 2011
A quick (six) words about blessings.
Here I am, day after seven. A healthy son. Two healthy daughters. Three gifts. Blessings all. Milestones aplenty. Mothering has made me stronger. Bolder. And much less apologetic about myself. I count my blessings every day. Find more Six Words, or join in on the fun, at makingthingsup.com.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 20, 2011
A day older. A year older.
Seven years ago this very minute I was six hours from giving birth. I didn’t know that, of course. The unknowns of labor are just the beginning of all of the unknowns of motherhood. I remember the moment my son slid from my body. In an instant I can transport myself right back to that room and relive that miracle, just as I can do for the births of my daughters. But, oh, that first time. It is a brand-new kind of magic. And as I lie on my own bed tonight, thinking back to that early morning of my [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest childApril 19, 2011
Seven years and nine months ago
I remember the positive test. And the resulting sweaty palms and inability to stand. I remember calling my sister, herself already mother to a 12-month-old. I remember the disbelief. The excitement. The absolute wonder. I remember formulating the words in my mind, “I’m pregnant.” I remember sitting in a cafe, looking around the room and thinking, “I wonder who else is pregnant.” I remember walking down the street, wondering if any other women had the same secret. I remember dwelling on this strange feeling that, although I’ve never been someone to reveal it all, there was this huge part of [...]
Read More in birthday, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, oldest childApril 18, 2011
Discovery
Last night we played a game at the dinner table. One by one each of us added a word to string together a sentence, then two, then a paragraph. (Except for the 2-year-old, who nonetheless demonstrated her near-perfect understanding of the game after one time around the table.) With few fits and restarts the four of us created a sort of a story. It was silly. About a bubble-blowing monster with blue fur who sleeps on tongues, tends to fart and takes baths in mud puddles. No big surprises, given that silly is our dinnertime default and the fact that [...]
Read More in birthday, home, Jen Writes, oldest child, writingApril 12, 2011
On this day
Sarah was born, and sisters were made. Happy Birthday, Shaggy!!! Without you life would be incomplete. And lonely. And boring. (Hoof!!!)
Read More in birthday, Jen WritesApril 8, 2011
Right.
I crave quiet. For the thoughts in my head to receive attention from my heart. I crave quiet. From my family so that I can be a better mother. Patient calm wise thoughtful slower happier quieter. I crave quiet in my house. So I can live without voices raised to the messes, clutter everywhere. I crave quiet in the hopes that I will feel more sane more able and more quiet myself. And then, I stop. I say (sometimes out loud, sometimes to myself) It’s a craving impossible to fulfill. Right?
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSarah: Dude. What’s the secret to banana bread? We shall discuss via phone. :) [Phone rings. Sarah to Jen.] Jen: Dude. The secret to banana bread is to use real butter. Sarah: I used real butter. It never cooks through all the way. I have to keep putting it in the oven for five more minutes. And then I worry that it’s going to get DRY. Jen: Did you use the Bittman recipe? Sarah: I did. Jen: I noticed when I was there last week that your oven cooks unevenly. But you do need to cook it until the top [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sistersApril 1, 2011
The words of my every day
As I sat in the waiting room of my daughter’s ballet school a few months ago I perused a magazine uninterrupted. And I came across a quote that I read over and over again. I am so grateful for moments such as these. In this case, an article about the actress Diane Lane offered me unexpected clarity. Here’s the gem that sparkled before me and that I wrote down, nodding all the way: “Being in a relationship makes it impossible to avoid yourself. … It may not always make me comfortable but it sure has made me a better person. [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingMarch 25, 2011
A disturbing realization.
I go to the supermarket. Again. I walk quickly down the aisles, not seeing what is really there. Only what I buy every trip. Fruit, cheese, eggs, milk, tortillas, salsa. I know there is more here but I can’t spare a moment to see the variety. Different options. There is just never enough time. How is it that the supermarket is now a metaphor for motherhood?
Read More in chores, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 21, 2011
Sometimes you have to rely on the words of others
Sometimes I sit down to write and the words come faster than I can type them. I begin with an idea and it grows and grows and turns into something else altogether. And at the end of the keyboard dance I am left feeling as if I’ve just taken a deep, cleansing breath. Sometimes I sit down to write and my fingers become stumps, not nimble enough to reach the keys. I can’t find an idea or even a thought, so I sit quietly. Waiting waiting. And frustrated that my limited time is slipping away, taken over by a foggy [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingMarch 17, 2011
In which I consider doing a jig
My dad wasn’t a morning person. The phrases with which he greeted each day are not ones I can transcribe here. He didn’t sleep well. He woke up in nicotine debt. He didn’t particularly look forward to going to work in the mornings. I know, I’m not painting a pretty picture. There were a few days each year, though, when dad came down the stairs with a spring in his step, the sound of the abundance of change in his pants’ pockets jingling. And St. Patrick’s Day was one of the days that put him in a lighter mood. He [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 16, 2011
“Cinderella Ate My Daughter”: A Momalom Book Review
As a mother of two daughters—each of whom is unmistakably her own person and, unmistakably, a girl—I have engaged in many conversations about the hows and whys. About the inevitable nature vs. nurture question that comes when each of us finds ourselves with a baby in our arms. New. Untouched. Impossibly vulnerable and sponging up everything around him/her. How do we know why our children are the way they are? How can we isolate their characters from the outside influences, the mood fluctuations of a household, the siblings, the birth order? How do we do just enough to guide our [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kidsMarch 13, 2011
Two years of Momalom—Numbers, words
In exactly two years of blogging, Sarah and I have published 464 posts. Comments on the site total 8,757–a quarter or so are responses by the two of us. According to Statcounter, we have received 98,854 hits since we started using the service. And although I know that the total already has surpassed 100,000, it seems a celebratory milestone, to be reached in the next few days. We have nearly 300 Feedburner subscribers and 199 Facebook fans. On Twitter, Sarah (Momalom) has 1,122 followers and is listed 59 times. I (Momalomjen) have 959 followers and am listed 61 times. This [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingMarch 2, 2011
Sick duty
There’s nothing like a vomiting kid to make you face your mothering duties head on. All at once and in full force there is someone to comfort. And laundry to do. And a floor to mop. And a wall to wash down. There’s the quick trip to the supermarket for ginger ale and saltines. And snuggling in bed watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid, checked out of the library on a whim a few days ago. E-mail goes unanswered. Ditto the telephone. My hands to the forehead and upper back of my oldest boy instead of on the keyboard. I [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 28, 2011
Phew. I already wrote this blog post.
I sat down to write a post while dinner cooks and had a flashback. Then, a sense of relief. I’ve already written this post, the one I sat down to write, clock ticking away. Tonight dinner is black bean chili and cornbread, and instead of a dance party there are four kids (mine plus a friend) playing in pairs upstairs—I can hear the Battleship cries from one room and singing from another—but the Struggle for Time? Yup. That’s still going on. It’s a constant internal struggle for me, and when it gets overwhelming I lash out against it by lashing [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, repost, three kidsFebruary 23, 2011
This is My Life: But I won’t let it bother me
1. Laundry (Duh.) 2. Dishes 3. Surly children. 4. Messy bedrooms (and bathrooms, and living room, and dining room…) 5. My son’s CONSTANT motion (and subsequent spills, explosions, etc.) 6. My older daughter’s eye rolls. (See #3) 7. Bed wetting. (See #1) 8. “What are we having for dinner?” 9. Not knowing what we’re having for dinner. 9. Diaper changes–going on seven years straight. 10. The feeling, all the time, that I am needed everywhere. (See #1-9)
Read More in chores, housework, Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 20, 2011
Weathering the present
I have just about had enough of winter. On the eve of what is predicted to be a “quick storm,” resulting in four to six more inches of snow on our already blanketed yard, the magic of the glistening white branches is over for me. I want to be able to open my back door and send the kids outside without having to bundle them up or respond to snow up the sleeve, down the collar, in the boot. I want to be able to clean my house–yes, I just said that–without people underfoot everywhere I go (undoing my work [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 18, 2011
I won’t give up on this
Novel. My goal: To publish one. What are your Six Words today? Visit makingthingsup to join in and read more.
Read More in Jen WritesFebruary 14, 2011
Love Letter Redux
Happy Valentine’s Day! I’ve linked up with Real Life with Kids today, to a letter I wrote to my Sweetie last Valentine’s Day. It’s cheating, of course. But that’s the cool thing about Zombie Mondays. You dig up an old post and ease yourself into the week. (Besides, I still feel the same way about my Sweetie this year.) So go read about Cate’s dazzling love affair, check out other Zombie Love Monday contributors, resurrect one of your old posts (a love letter, perhaps?) and link up.
Comments on this entry are closed
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, repost, three kidsFebruary 13, 2011
Glimpses
I catch them more often these days: A 10-year-old boy in the library, curled up reading, oblivious to the children (three of them mine) playing and running around him. A mother dropping off her children–all of them–at school in the morning and getting back into her minivan. Alone. My son on a playdate that lasts through dinner. The changes and growth of children–all children–are suddenly more at the center of my vision. I see other families whose childrens’ lives are starting to take on their own directions. I spend (a little) more time with just a subset of all of [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 8, 2011
Saved
There are people in my life who have been saved. By doctors. By friends. By airbags. By me. There are people in my life who have saved me. Doctors. Friends. My children. My sweetie. I have been thinking about these moments of saving and being saved, and I have been wondering. Did I take notice of these moments and these people at the time the change—the saving—was happening? Did I realize the impact of a medical procedure, a hug, a beating heart, a working brake pedal? Perhaps I did. Yes. I probably did. But I’m realizing that it’s only afterward, [...]
Read More in Jen WritesFebruary 7, 2011
On this day …
John Deere is somewhat of a celebrity in our house. The tractor lust that started about the same time my son was able to sit upright and peer over the edge of his stroller continues to this day, six years later. So I shouldn’t have been surprised at the enthusiasm with which he announced over the weekend that John Deere’s birthday is February 7. That’s right, today. Apparently, B has been holding tight to this knowledge since a few days after Christmas, when he completed reading the John Deere biography given to him by Santa. I’m not sure what he [...]
Read More in boys, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 4, 2011
Cold outside. Warmth in my heart.
This winter summed up? Snow, obviously. Also, unexpected days of family togetherness. For more summations, visit Making Things Up!
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 1, 2011
More snow. It’s not all bad.
I know I’m just one of millions of people waking up to snow with the promise (threat?) of (much) more snow during the next 48 hours. Sarah has pondered the possibility of this being the apocalypse. She may be on to something. But I’m feeling kind of old fashioned. It’s so rare that so much of the country is experiencing the same forces of such magnitude. That we all need to react to the same conditions at the same time. As the plows come down the street again and the snow piles up and skis and snowshoes are discarded on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJanuary 28, 2011
Long night. Saved by a smile.
Most nights my daughter sleeps alone. But when we are at Geege’s the girls sleep in one room and the boys in the other. *** Sharing a bed with my toddler in no way leaves me feeling refreshed when I awake beside her. A night of kicks, loud sighs (hers and mine). Stuffed animals everywhere. I am sore and tired. Grumpy. *** Her grin and dark eyes save her* (and me) when the sun comes up.* And after last night, I’m grateful that at home we sleep independently. * Clearly I am tired, as I apparently lost my ability to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, youngest childJanuary 24, 2011
Looking back. Then, looking ahead.
I write less specifically these days about THE three kids. Those three kids that inspired my part of the header. Life. With three kids. I’m in it deeper now. Three is my every day. And the shape of my family informs every part of my day, many of my thoughts, much of my planning ahead. But it’s less inspiring, somehow. It’s there, but it’s not the only focus. It’s just the way it is. As a woman I met recently put it, “Three is the new two.” Yes, I thought, both at the time and since. Yes. It is. Three [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 22, 2011
A letter to my (future) self.
Dear Self, I like you these days. This you that is less concerned with the things that don’t matter too much—like the state of the floor, clothes strewn, toys scattered. Or the unmade beds and unwashed children. (Are you sensing a trend, self?) I like you. I like your kindness these days. Your more lighthearted self. There is so much that is difficult, namely finances and mothering—knowing what is right and being able to do right by your family. The other stuff—the messy house, the extra five pounds, the hair that grows increasingly longer down your back, the missed PTO [...]
Read More in chores, housework, Jen Writes, motherhoodJanuary 21, 2011
Another winter day. Snow. Ice. Cold.
Warmth. An impossible concept, it seems— Outside temperature hovering at 15 degrees. So I add more layers, blankets Turn up the heat, make tea And am glad for home, inside. For more six words, go visit Melissa at makingthingsup!
Read More in Jen WritesJanuary 14, 2011
At this moment (in six words)
Out the window: blanket of snow. On the floor: boots, coats, hats. At this moment winter grips me. Inside and out, I feel buried.
Read More in Jen WritesJanuary 13, 2011
Within reach
Here is Sarah during a stop in the aviary at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. It feels like this visit was ages ago, but really it was just more than two weeks. How does that happen, time going too fast? And how can I stop it? I’ll save the photos of orangutans and moose and a black-tongued giraffe for another day like today, when I have lots to say but absolutely no time to write.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJanuary 10, 2011
Mark all as Read
If life were like Google Reader, I’d click on a box and move forward. Maybe I’d wonder about all of the content and news I’d just effectively dismissed, but I’d be confident knowing that soon there would be more more more, and that I could–if not pick up where I’d left off–find my place again. A list looms in the back of my mind of all of the things I wanted to do during the holidays–make my mustard (how can a holiday season go by without my kitchen full of canning jars, the scent of Guinness making the house smell [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJanuary 2, 2011
Life on a winding road
Somehow our December-long Momalom in Pictures slipped away, not unlike the last days of 2010, for me spent driving back home from the West, a trip that spanned 12 days and a total of 4,059.8 miles. A trip of adventure, family, new experiences, inopportune bathroom needs, laughter, noise and food. It occurs to me that the trip–a first of such epic distance as a family–was perhaps a microcosm of our “real” life, the life that is ours in our little house in New England. And that life is a successful one overall, just as our maiden voyage to see our [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 17, 2010
Dishes
I could tell you there are this many dishes in the sink because I’ve been sick (and mostly in bed) for a week. Or because our hot water heater pilot light has been temperamental lately and we’re conserving water. Or that I’ve been baking all day in preparation for a party tomorrow. All of these are truths. But the thing about dishes is that sometimes they just pile up and take over. (Don’t even think about asking how laundry might be a similar photo-op. My housework zen only stretches so far.)
Read More in chores, housework, Jen Writes, unpaid workDecember 17, 2010
For Cara. And her sweet Squeaky.
Happiness is an old friendship renewed with the birth of her daughter. Motherhood reuniting us. An unlikely scenario it once seemed. And now. Happiness. As we talk on the phone for the second time in weeks (and the third time in years) I hear in her lilting voice in the words rapidly spilling out the love, the wonder, the joy the happiness for that new life the life of her sweet daughter and for her journey into motherhood. Welcome to the world darling girl I can’t wait to meet you and to see your mama again. It’s Six Word Friday, [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsDecember 16, 2010
Snowmen, Christmas trees and bells
They may just look like regular old cheddar biscuits, but they taste much better when formed with the holiday cookie cutters.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 10, 2010
Gifted: Riches where there aren’t any.
This year: More frugal than ever penny pinching, stretching resources, being creative. It’s difficult to have the confidence that these three children of ours aren’t seeing the stressors. They aren’t. I know they aren’t. But. But there is so much more. Much more that I wish I could give. Not only from their wish lists but in experiences, too. Next year, I tell myself. Next year, definitely. Meanwhile, this year: Frugal, yes. Also a trip to Colorado! Thirty hours in the van. Five of us! My bank account is paltry. But. But the riches of my life? Abound. A road [...]
Read More in Dad, holidays, Jen Writes, motherhood, siblings, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids)December 9, 2010
Spaghetti and marshmallows.
December 8, 2010
What is it about wispy ponytails and braids?
It’s December. Which means we’ve decided to post Momalom in Pictures. But sometimes a little text is nice, too. Here’s a blast from the past, if you’re so inclined.
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kids, youngest childDecember 6, 2010
I miss swimsuit season.
We’ve established December Momalom in Pictures month. But if you’re looking for more than just a photo of a little girl with a swimsuit on her head, check out this post (a poem, in fact!) that Sarah and I wrote together last spring. I think it’s safe to say that we still feel the same way.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhoodDecember 3, 2010
Caption contest winner revealed!
Remember this? Anyway, there were 16 responses to our Caption Contest, and they were all great. Thanks to all of you who played along. Fourteen entries came through the comments. And two came via e-mail—a brave short story written by a blog friend and a touching tribute to, ahem, me, written by my college-days friend Rachel. But, because we called it a contest (and because we said we would), we selected one grand winner and 15 runner ups. So. After much deliberating, we decided to go with Bina’s: Internal thought: “Ok. If I stand like thiiiis and smile pretty, maybe [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, siblings, sisters, three kidsDecember 1, 2010
Life goes by fast. Why not take it slow?
Or. Slow down. You’re getting close to the office. Enjoy the drive to the parking lot a whopping 100 yards away. (Really. I pass this every day when I get within sight of the building I work in. And I giggle a tiny bit every time.) P.S. I’ll announce the caption contest winner(s) tomorrow folks. I promise. P.P.S. I told you I could’t keep my grubby fingers off of the keyboard.
Read More in Jen WritesNovember 30, 2010
November to December: From words every day to pictures if we can muster the energy
Well, we did it. I’m feeling a little less accomplished than I thought I’d feel, having managed 30 posts in 30 days. I’ve kind of closed out the month with a whimper rather than a bang. And Sarah and I split the writing! Anyway, I’ll try to tie it all up neatly here. Unfinished business: Today’s the last day to enter our caption contest. Your chances are pretty good, given that we’ve had just 13 entries so far. You have until midnight tonight. Pretty please? I’ll send you a T-shirt. Some sticky notes. (See how pretty they are?) Maybe some [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 29, 2010
Bedtime again. Only a little different tonight.
Tonight I started to scold my son for the pile of clothes on his bedroom floor when I realized I just didn’t have the energy. Also. I didn’t want to say the same thing I always say. It obviously doesn’t work. (The clothes are still there. Always there.) Also. I hadn’t seen my sweet-faced boy all day. So instead of remarking on the inside-out pants and wadded up socks, I started talking in an accent of sorts. This is not my strength, and I think I sounded like a cross between a vampire with a speech impediment and the grand [...]
Read More in boys, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest childNovember 26, 2010
Delusional thinking?
If I clean the house today, I won’t have to clean the house over the weekend. P.S. It’s not too late to enter our caption contest! (So if you’re avoiding your own housework, check it out!)
Read More in chores, Jen WritesNovember 25, 2010
Turkey
I didn’t have any. Did you? Perhaps the lack of tryptophan in my Thanksgiving day feast is the precise reason I still am awake.
Read More in holidays, Jen WritesNovember 24, 2010
Leftovers
You know what you can do with leftover black beans? Make black bean dip. Which your children—if they are anything like mine—will scarf down with handfuls of corn chips until you cut them off. (This is not how my kids ate the original black beans. Thus the leftovers.) I’m not a post-a-recipe kind of a gal. But. It’s NaBloPoMo and I’m getting a little desperate. So here goes. Place in the bowl of a food processor: • The leftover black beans (4 cups. Yeah. They were NOT a hit at dinner the other night. Probably because there were onions and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 22, 2010
In which I transcribe a list of thoughts
Numbered, but in no particular order of importance: 1. NaBloPoMo seems to go on forever. 2. It is very difficult to change someone’s mind. I should probably repeat this truth to myself daily. 3. How is it that I have never made a pumpkin pie? Here’s hoping mine comes out. (Should I make a practice one first? Or just be gutsy and assume the one I make will be Thankgiving worthy?) 4. It’s cold. (I am not really mentally prepared for winter.) 5. I read in a magazine over the weekend that when it comes to hair, the longer the [...]
Read More in Jen WritesNovember 20, 2010
Introducing Momalom’s first caption contest
It snowed last week. On my long commute to work, I started out in cold rain, drove through snow, sleet and freezing rain, and arrived safely after a drive extended by about 30 minutes past my usual 75. I am not ready to battle the weather yet again. I’d rather stick with cows. But, I’m trying to keep things in perspective. Snow can bring fun, or so my children would tell me. So. To spice things up, we’re sponsoring a contest here at Momalom. A contest that has little—if anything—to do with mothering. A contest that has more to do [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 18, 2010
This is My Life: Built-in Landscaping Services
This photo, taken five years ago, makes me !!! (and a little bit sad, too, but I’m focusing on the intentional happiness theme today). Tell us what makes you !!!
Read More in !!!, boys, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 16, 2010
Respecting the process. Enjoying the results.
Today I lowered myself into the cool, chlorinated water. I pulled back my too-long hair and stuffed it under my sturdy swim cap. I pulled my goggles tight. I pushed my feet against the side of the pool. I stretched, consciously making my body as long as I could. I glided. I breathed. I thought, “Why oh why is it so damn hard to get here when it feels so absolutely perfect to be here?” I thought, “Hey, that’s exactly how I feel about writing.” And then I swam. Lap after lap. Finding the rhythm in my body, my breathing, [...]
Read More in exercise, health, Jen Writes, mind/body, writingNovember 15, 2010
Learning in the quiet
I curled up on my son’s bed beside him in the dark at the end of this long Monday. In the quiet in the dark I listened to his breathing, tried hard not to comment on his squirming. And then out of the silence he began to talk. The things he revealed to me were not responses to questions I asked. I wouldn’t have known to ask about these things: facts worries ideas questions of his own that fill his mind. We snuggled together under his warm blankets and I tried to say as little as possible as I answered [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 13, 2010
What rhymes with butterfly?
I’ve been sending photo holiday cards much longer than I’ve been blogging. And, as a blogger, I’ve been hesitant to accept any offer from companies thus far. However, just as I was finishing the layout for this year’s holiday card, complete with four photos—one of which actually shows all three children together (gasp!)—I learned of an offer from Shutterfly. An offer too good to resist. Shutterfly has great options for holiday photos. In fact, 274 options. I myself didn’t have time to view every single one (three kids, remember). But it was easy to narrow down the choices by number [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 11, 2010
!!! in goodbyes
This is a photo of my Sweetie. The adult in this world who makes me !!! (and not just on Thursdays). I know. You can’t see him. He prefers it that way. (Winking at you, Sweets.) But there’s more !!! in this photo, too, even though part of it is bittersweet to me. Our son took this picture with his own camera one morning last spring (by the looks of the purple blooms) as he was undoubtedly waving goodbye to his dad, who was on his way to work. We have this waving ritual. Whoever is leaving for work that [...]
Read More in !!!, fatherhood, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kidsNovember 9, 2010
Nourishment
As I start to think about the upcoming holidays and all of the impossible chaos that is sure to ensue, I find myself retreating to books more than usual. It’s undeniably a kind of avoidance. But reading is also a source from which I draw strength. And because I anticipate needing all the strength I can get during the coming weeks and months, I’m seeking out suggestions. I’m offering a few books on my recent reading list, and I’d love to hear what’s keeping you from your own lives these days. Recently I’ve devoured: Little Bee by Chris Cleave Plan [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 7, 2010
Floors. Sweeping, vacuuming, washing. FLOORS.
November 6, 2010
Fearlessly independent
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, youngest child
November 5, 2010
Change happens when I’m not watching
Embracing motherhood has meant, for me, That in every moment, every day (if i just open my eyes and allow myself to see it) change is everywhere: growth, moods, needs. And when I feel most lost or ready to jump and cry throw up my hands and scream A lesson is learned. A hurdle scaled. A child surprises us both. It’s Six Word Fridays! For more, visit Making Things Up.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsNovember 3, 2010
Coming to terms again and again
I have come to the realization that I believed that when my childbearing days were over I’d step out of one world and into another. From the world of emerging parent to that of established parent. It has taken me some time to come to terms with the reality that Sweetie and I have (only? exactly? ) three children. That we are blessed to have three children. And. And that there will not be more. But then, everyone else keeps having babies. Friends new and old. Neighbors. Co-workers. So many of the people that I see and talk to daily [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsIt’s November 1, which means… It’s our brother Justin’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Bro Grow. Be well. Also, Nov. 1 means it’s the first day of NaBloPoMo. Yup. We’re doing it again. Posting every day this month. We participated in this blog writing fest last year. It was fun. It was challenging. For me, the month took its toll on me both creatively and in my off-blog life. And yet. Here I am again. So please, tune in every day. One of us will be here. Which brings me to a bit of housekeeping. Those of you who subscribe, either by [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen WritesOctober 31, 2010
Halloween comes around every year
It’s cold! My SPY, PRINCESS and TRAIN CONDUCTOR are going to be very chilly tonight during the Rag Shag Parade and subsequent trick or treating. At last I’ll be having that age-old struggle with my children, who up until now have experienced Halloween nights that have been mild. We’ll no doubt be fighting about how many layers of winter coat, hat and mittens will ruin the costumes by covering them up. THAT is my foremost Halloween memory, after all. Well, that and the year that Sarah and I won a prize in the parade in our little hometown. I was [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 26, 2010
Saturday night out of the house and in my head
In the theater with a gorgeous, detailed ceiling painted in warm shades of brown, gold, red. In the theater with friends old and new and in between. In the theater on a Saturday night without kids. In the theater. The stage. The lights. The crowd of people around. Out after dark. I sit. I watch. I listen. I sing along. I think of the children then try not to think of them. This is my night. Our night. Without them. They are at a sleepover at their aunt’s house. They are fine. Oh, but they would love this. The oldest [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writing, youngest childOctober 22, 2010
Six weeks into school year means:
“Rubby” noses, Congestion, Exhaustion, Crabiness. ENOUGH. What have you had enough of? Join Six Word Friday at Making Things Up.
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 19, 2010
Part of the reason I was a little late to work today
Read More in Jen Writes, paid work
October 17, 2010
For my ever-handsome boy
It was bound to happen. A trip to the emergency room. This time, the first time, with a boy. A boy who was on his scooter. And then, on the ground. A bleeding gash on his chin. A quiet ride to the hospital. Nurses. A doctor. Questions. Lots of sitting still. Stitches. Bandages. This boy of mine, this 6-year-old boy, so good in an emergency, held it together better than most adults. After the initial shock. After the bleeding had been slowed. After it was determined that, yes, this was it. This would be the FIRST trip to the ER. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsOctober 15, 2010
My four favorite people on earth.
Oldest child. Your deep, brown eyes. Middle child. Your fine, orange hair. Youngest child. Your impossible, mischievous grin. Sweetie. The sound of your voice. It’s Six Word Friday at Making Things Up!
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, relationship, three kids, youngest childOctober 12, 2010
This is my Life: Baby Fever
Still life with naked babies At last count, there were more than 30 baby dolls in my house. I honestly don’t know how we got to this point or why all of them are naked. But so it is, and I offer you a sampling of their names: Po Po Baby Noisy New Baby Sunny Moony Rocky (perhaps we should formally introduce Jamis to Baby Rocky?) Flower Big Baby (not to be confused with Celtics player #11) Corey Wilco Baby Sister Baby Brother Harper Vanessa Panessa
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 10, 2010
Bare
A few nights ago* I awoke to the shrill sound of my baby yelling “Mama!” Screaming. For me. Her dad went up. She quieted. He came back down after a bit. She started again to scream. For me. I have been on bedtime duty more nights than not due to Sweetie’s work schedule, and he was trying to give me the night off. But E got out of her bed, and we heard the soft yet solid sound of her feet pitter patter across the floor above our heads. We heard the slight rattle of the gate at her bedroom [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsOctober 8, 2010
Fantasy: The small and the grand
Painted walls (without fingerprints, smudges, dents). Absence of piles (clothes, books, papers). Quiet after dark. Through till morning. Also, novel completed, published, read. Acclaimed?
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, writingOctober 4, 2010
Success simplified.
How do you measure success? It’s an old question, I know. Unoriginal. Visited by most. But. It’s worth asking, I think. If I measured success by my bank account balance, I’d be an utter failure. Or, if I measured by the cleanliness of my house. (I’m laughing now, for I am incapable of keeping our home neat, tidy, organized or, quite frankly, clean.) Other measurements that may result in my failure to succeed: I do not live in a large house. We do not have a landscaped yard with perfect lawn. We do not have the latest technological gadgets. We [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsSeptember 30, 2010
Another girl’s birthday.
I’m tired, oh so tired. And I write that knowing that I’ve written so many times before about sleep, and how I don’t get enough.* So today, on Intentional Happiness day, I am keeping it simple. I am happy for my daughter, 5 years old yesterday. Somehow, she looks different to me now. Older. Wiser. More of a kid than a child, if that makes any sense to anyone other than me. And I am grateful for who she is and what she brings to our family. I am happy for her patience and her slow consideration of every option [...]
Read More in !!!, birthday, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 24, 2010
She already has her own baby. (But she’ll always be my baby.)
Tomorrow will be two years. TWO! Since you arrived in our lives to complete our family. Our world. I cannot imagine: family of four; A day without your face, scrunched, eyes wide, teeth together; sweet kisses juicy and open-mouthed; siblings surrounding you, protecting you, playing with you. Laughing. How is it that you already Are two. How is it that, already, you say you are three. Please. Take tomorrow to stop growing. One day. Sing “happy birthday me.” While I pause, get choked up Not able to fathom one bit A life without you in it. For more Six Word [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, youngest childSeptember 22, 2010
Making the most of things
Today I ran out of gas. For which I have no excuse–other than my poor math skills–gas lights being what they are in modern vehicles. While I made a rescue-request call to Sweetie, who was working less than a mile away, my girls laughed at me. When I hung up the phone, I laughed, too. It was kind of funny. And we were safe. And close to home. We could easily have walked home or to a nearby gas station. But while we waited for Daddy’s Roadside Service, the girls entertained each other in our cavernous minivan (E didn’t even [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, siblings, sisters, three kidsSeptember 21, 2010
Getting ready to jump in.
I’ve been reading. A lot. Often. Almost constantly. Absorbing words, sentences, whole pages at a time. As if trying to make up for the lost reading time of having three children in four-and-a-half years. As if someone is going to come knocking on my door asking me to identify the latest debuts of the past several years. I’ve been reading and thinking and remembering how absolutely wonderful, how essential already-written words are to my life. Getting lost in stories. Pondering characters. Story structure. Plot. And considering how it all affects my own writing. Except. I haven’t been writing. I think [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingSeptember 20, 2010
Yeah, me too.
Do you ever feel like every thought you’ve ever had has already been thought before by someone else? And yet, at the same time, do you often feel utterly misunderstood by everyone else?
Read More in Jen WritesSeptember 19, 2010
“Son, when can you ever stop asking me questions?”
I have come to dread a certain kind of question, inevitably posed by my oldest—my 6-year-old impatient inquisitive son. I offer a recent smattering: “Mom, when can we go to the park?” “Mom, when can you change the batteries in my helicopter?” “Mom, when can you help me find my socks?” “Mom, when can we ever go to the park?” “Mom, when can you change the batteries in my walkie talkie?” “Mom, when can I have a snack?” “Mom, when can I have a playdate with Sam again?” “Mom, when can you help me with my Legos?” “Mom, when can [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 17, 2010
Bedtime. Nightime. Not over till morning.
Covers tucked. Lights out. Kisses blown. I walk downstairs. To my room. Perk up my ears. Listening now and for the next several hours for the sounds of awakening children. Hoping for no “mamas.” No cries. What are your six words today? Find more at MakingThingsUp.
Read More in Jen Writes, sleep, three kidsSeptember 16, 2010
Intentional Happiness Virgin
Until now, Intentional Happiness has been Sarah’s realm. But, well, she’s super busy being the super designer that she is. Just this week, she finished another fabulous site makeover. (Check out Never-True Tales). And, since she’s preparing for her third-annual Reach the Beach roadrelayforcrazypeoplethingy, I offered to share some of my own happiness today. Here goes: My two older kids have cameras, courtesy of GG. They use them frequently. They sneak up on me and click lovely shots (that I could have deleted upon downloading their images, mind you). They do a house-wide study in still life. They take beautiful [...]
Read More in !!!, home, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 14, 2010
From the archives of my life as a mom
Imagine my surprise at finding this little tidbit, written as a part of a writing exercise (I remember…) when I was a mom of (only!) two children. If I have the timing right, my son (now 6) was 2 and my daughter (my only daughter at the time) was 6 months. (She is now rapidly approaching 5.) And so, here it is. A writing exercise. I include it here because it strikes me so profoundly that I feel so much the same now. That almost since day one of becoming a mother, it seems, I have felt exactly this. Exactly [...]
Read More in fatherhood, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writingSeptember 12, 2010
This is My Life: And it’s never all tidy at once
On the second day of school, I spent the morning cleaning my first-grader’s room. Thoroughly. While I was in there, the girls played in their room. Or maybe played isn’t exactly the right word.
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childSeptember 10, 2010
Beginnings. Too much to say today.
I have tried and tried and tried and tried to say what I want to say about beginnings In this wonderful six-word Fridays format (But wait? is that seven words?) And I just can’t do it But there still is something addictive About trying to get to the Bottom of things in six words. (Maybe next week I’ll do better.)
Read More in Jen Writes, UncategorizedSeptember 9, 2010
Mama, When is my next ballet class?
Her question floats quietly from the back seat of the minivan As my daughter’s questions always do I piece together the words Recognize the slightly higher than usual pitch of her voice Glance in the mirror and notice her neck stretched forward And I explain that she has to wait until next Saturday Her shoulders slump, her eyes fall Next Saturday is 10 long days away In her first-ever dance lesson My daughter shone Pink tights Soft, leather ballet slippers Orange hair all tied up in a bun not any bigger than a large grape Her purple leotard stretched across [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 7, 2010
Visiting Day
When Melissa from Making Things Up asked me to write a guest post for her, I felt honored. And when she gave me the topic—beginnings, in honor of her new arrival, son Eli—I was thrilled! To write for one of my favorite blogs and not to have to come up with a topic? Perfect. So here’s to beginnings. If you’ve never read Melissa, today will surely be a good beginning for you. Take a peek here, and stick around a while. There’s plenty to see!
Read More in guest post, Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 6, 2010
Reflections
This morning, I looked up from scrubbing the bathroom sink to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Glasses slipping down my nose. Hair pulled back in a messy bun that highlighted my grey streak. I did a lot of housework today. It feels important to me that B go off to school tomorrow from a clean house. And so there I was, spray bottle in one hand and paper towel in the other, bent over the white pedestal sink wondering if the hardened peanut butter would ever come unglued from the faucet when, wait, there I was. In [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 3, 2010
Summer’s End
August 27, 2010
Family dinner out at Joe’s Pizza.
Please bring us two ginger ales And one small glass of water That looks like a ginger ale Because this little one sitting here Wants everything her older siblings have. She can’t possibly wait three years. But I’m not ready for soda In the hands of my baby And so I thank you, waitress, For the glass with ice, straw That satisfies my toddler’s need. (And makes dinner out easier, too.)
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, youngest childAugust 24, 2010
Three in a bed
We sleep together A toddler between us And I am happy Her toes at my knees Your toes touching mine And I realize I am good at this now This parenting at night Better than I was when we were in so deep for so long The years of nights stretching out from the long days No guaranteed hours of quiet The resisting being needed The resentment of being needed And now together this rare night of a child between us I lay half asleep rubbing her back listening to you breathe and sigh And I think again I know [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, sleep, three kids, youngest childAugust 22, 2010
“They store up liquids like a water tower.”
“In case we disappear for a few days. Ya know?” Sarah wrote this in an e-mail to me, in response to my continued amazement at the liquid intake of my son. She and I each have a child who consumes copious amounts of liquid. Juice cups are filled and refilled throughout the day. Thermoses are constantly on hand. And while I sincerely hope there is no correlation between their intake of apple juice and water now to the amount of alcohol they ingest in their teen years, it really is remarkable to witness. It’s also extremely irritating. No matter what, [...]
Read More in birthday, health, home, Jen Writes, middle child, mind/body, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childAugust 13, 2010
This Much I Know
We are close to the edge It feels dangerous, risky, too real The pit in my stomach, permanent For far too many weeks now Shows no signs of leaving me But I must not turn away I hang on, wanting closed eyes Except I must keep them open Because it is my job: mother To keep my family surviving, thriving So I peek over the edge. Step back. Breathe deeply. And believe.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kidsAugust 11, 2010
The Curse
The story told in this song speaks to me in ways so personal I’m not comfortable writing about it here. And while I’ve shared the gospel of Josh Ritter before, a part of me is compelled to again offer his lyrics and music and, this time, a gorgeous video. I hope there’s something here for you, too.
Read More in Jen Writes, relationshipAugust 2, 2010
A Successful Vacation
Today is Monday. Last Monday I was at the “big” library, scouring the shelves for new audiobooks for my big boy. Choosing my “baby’s” first book to be taken out. Advising my 4-year-old on which Madeleine video to select. It was a warm and sunny summer day. Perfect for a trip downtown. A smoothie. A day of whim. For 10 days I enjoyed such whim. I got out of bed—one day early, one day late, the rest at the usual time—and faced each day with no grand plans. It was a vacation in the true sense of the word. Except [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, three kids (six kids)August 1, 2010
Budget Shopping
I am a pro at stretching a dollar, scrimping on the grocery bill, making dinner out of what’s in the cabinets. We wear hand-me overs, hand-me downs and last year’s pants, calling them capris. But sometimes it’s nice to go on a shopping spree. So yesterday, the kids and I hit the dollar store for a few needs and wants. We found something for everyone: 1 hairbrush 1 fabric headband 1 rubber ball 2 hair clips 4 barrettes 4 plastic fighter jets 5 bungee cords 6 sponges 90 miniature Army men Total cost: $10.63 My hair is brushed and out [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJuly 30, 2010
An idea to live by today:
July 28, 2010
Babydoll on the clothesline
The girls are still asleep The boys, awake I sit at my desk and glance out the window at our green backyard Bubbles of sunlight slipping through the leaves of the lush maple trees floating and settling on the too-long green grass There’s a babydoll on the clothesline because yesterday she got dirty in the sandbox and then my not-yet-2-year-old took her into the bathroom and washed her in the sink How can one child be such a do-er And one of her older siblings be so distraught over doing? I sit and I look outside and I ponder questions [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingJuly 24, 2010
This is My Life: Laundry quandry
Almost every day is laundry day. Especially in the summer time, because we hang all of our laundry to dry. So today, I put out a load of towels before we went on a few errands. (Farmer’s Market; Trader Joes.) When we returned, a few hours later, the sun was shining and the towels were dry. I went upstairs to put the littlest one down for her nap, and when I came downstairs the skies were gray and rain was pouring down. Question: Do I rewash the towels or just let them (re)dry and pretend the brief rainstorm never happened [...]
Read More in chores, housework, Jen Writes, unpaid workJuly 23, 2010
Together (inevitably)
July 19, 2010
On my mind last week.
I couldn’t seem to pull it together last week. I kept trying to write, but I was having trouble staying focused. I think I have too much on my mind lately. Here’s a few of the things that I dwelled on long enough to jot down as ideas but that never quite made it any farther than a sentence or two in post form: It is a foregone conclusion that the needs of a certain child in my household always seem to come before everyone elses, regardless of the circumstances. Why did I dream of an explosion leaping out of [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingYou are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But, listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me. Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and your heart, and heart’s little intelligence, and listen to me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile away and still out of sight, the churn of the [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 7, 2010
Blog Design 101
Today Sarah’s talking about blog design at Nickelodeon’s Parents Connect as part of their monthlong Blogging 101 feature. Hop on over and take in her wisdom. Stick around long enough and you can enter to win a prize!
Read More in Jen WritesJuly 3, 2010
Housekeeping
We’re not ungrateful. We’re really really not. But we are frazzled and busy and crazed half the time. And because of these endearing qualities we have neglected to acknowledge three lovely bloggers who recently have bestowed on us awards. AWARDS, people. So, without further ado (ahem, frazzlement), thanks to Maria at Mom of Three Seeks Sanity for The rules ARE these: 1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER! 2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award: (a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sisters, three kidsJuly 2, 2010
Found.
“Recollection, I have found, is usually about half invention.” —Wallace Earle Stegner. OK, so I cheated this week Stealing a few words from Wally. (Not even six words. Nine, actually.) But this quote hangs before me When I sit at my desk. It provides me with great inspiration Perhaps you will be inspired, too. For more Six Word Fridays–and to link up your own six words–check out MakingThingsUp.com!
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingAplomb. It is one of my favorite words. I remember the exact moment I first encountered it. And was desperate to know its meaning. I was standing on the banks of the Connecticut River. Crew practice had yet to begin, and I had just come from the college post office. I was reading a letter. A letter from a friend at a college hours away. A boy friend. (But not a boyfriend.) A friend of the unrequited angsty, teenage crush variety. We had spent a few years in high school trying to figure out the nature of our relationship, I [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsJune 25, 2010
Goals.
They used to be much bigger. Write novel. Have baby (or three). Now, to do dishes after dinner I feel achievement unlike any other. I want to strive for more.
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJune 21, 2010
Delinquent, but very thankful, me.
Dear Everyone Who Has Given Me or One of My Children a Gift During the Past, Oh, Say, Two-and-a-half Years, Thank you. I meant to write a thank-you note. I really did. In fact, I even drafted one. (In my head.) I used to be really very good at thank-you notes. I am a firm believer in thank-you notes. And yet. Somehow, the thank-you note is one of the things that has fallen by the wayside in this life of mine. This life. Of three kids. But, I am grateful for your generosity. Your thoughtfulness. On holidays. And birthdays. Sometimes, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJune 20, 2010
Loyalty.
I spent this past basketball season becoming a True Celtics Fan. With Sweetie, I watched nearly every televised game, up to and including Game 7 of the finals, the scrappy match against the Lakers that ended the Celts’ season just short of them having achieved the crowning glory of the title. Sweetie is a longstanding Celtics fan, and on game nights we would put the kids to bed and tune in. From pregame to postgame and the halftime analysis in between, I watched and listened beside him, as I have for years. I don’t know why this year was different. [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, home, Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsJune 18, 2010
Appetite.
I wish we could go back to that first meal we shared together in a small, darkish restaurant. I wish I could watch us From just a few tables away. Would I predict our bright future?
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kidsJune 14, 2010
All-purpose apology note from my 6-year-old
“I am sorry for that” I received this note on Sunday afternoon, amidst the fallout of a meltdown by my 6-year-old son. He’s written notes of apology before, and in the past he has been a bit more specific in describing why he is “sare.” Whether he anticipates using this note again or he just ran out of room on the piece of paper to go into detail, I’m not sure. But the fact that he writes me notes makes my heart swell a bit, even while I am trying to get under control my own emotional reaction to his [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingJune 11, 2010
10 Things That Happen at My House Almost Daily
1. Pee on the floor. 2. Coffee delivered to me from my Sweetie, whether I’m in the shower, changing a diaper or still in bed. 3. All three children yelling for me at the same time. (MomMamaMommy! anyone?) 4. Not getting to the phone in time to hear who’s calling. 5. Snacks prepared by me and consumed by my children. 6. Food on the floor (and the walls). 7. More than one child saying, “I love you, Mom(MamaMommy).” 8. Laughing. 9. Laundry. In some form or another. 10. Possibility: Five people living together. Happily. Humbled.* * This last one here [...]
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJune 9, 2010
Glimpse. Pause. Reflect.
I like this photo because it brings me right back to that trip to Maine, 11 years ago. The trip that Sweetie planned from start to finish. Every detail taken care of. An inn with a huge jacuzzi. Bike trails and a place to rent bikes. Bookstores to explore. I like this photo because just by looking at myself looking out at the water here, adjusting my cap, I also remember the sunset we shared and so many other details of that trip, like the fact that I was still eating fish then, and did, sitting across from my Sweetie, [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsJune 6, 2010
Vanilla? or Chocolate?
Remember Five for Ten? Well, I haven’t done a whole lot in the bloggy world since then. I’m trying to bounce back. I really am. In the meantime, chocolate or vanilla?
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsMay 29, 2010
What She Said
The Elmo Wallpaper. Do you know this blog? Do you know this wonderful mom of three boys? Do you? Because she wrote last week what I wish I had been able to find four years ago. She wrote the best post about having a third baby that I have ever read. It is personal. It is comprehensive. It is practical. And it is touching. Most of all, it rings so so true in its honesty and wisdom and fact. Read it. Even if you want nothing to do with three children or already have five or are somewhere in between. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 28, 2010
Six Word Friday
What I need to remember (everyday): When I go to sleep early I feel better in the morning. For more Six Word Fridays, visit our witty friend Melissa at Making Things Up. Thanks, Melissa!
Read More in Jen Writes, sleep, three kidsMay 24, 2010
We Didn’t Celebrate our Blogiversary (but we did put together a list of Blogs by Moms of Three–or more–Kids)
It’s not that we forgot that we’ve been blogging for a year (since March 13, 2009). It’s just that, well, it didn’t come up. Sarah and I so rarely see each other in person that we didn’t ever talk about what to do in celebration of US. But now, a few months past, we’ve decided to celebrate us by offering others a quick resource for blogs by moms of three (or more). That’s right. Introducing: MomMamaMommy! (Inspired by this.) We’ve said it before. Something changes when you have that third kid. It’s so difficult for us to put our fingers [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 18, 2010
A day of Yes
Yes I’ll make cinnamon-chip muffins Yes we have Daddy juice Yes you can wear shorts today Yes there are clean socks in the laundry basket in my room Yes you have PE today (so wear your sneakers, too) Yes I’ll pack yogurt in your lunch Yes I’ll pack a granola bar in your snack Yes it’s my turn to drive you to school today Yes you have to brush your teeth Yes I’m picking you up from school, too Yes your friend M can come over to play Yes I’ll make popcorn Yes you can jump on the (neighbor’s) trampoline [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsMy favorite novel My cherished collection (one-and-two-thirds shelves of Stegner magic) Evidence of stalking (I told you it was lust) ****************
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMay 14, 2010
I had this body
I had this body I had abs A navel pierced with a tiny silver ring I had an ass that didn’t move up and down when I ran (I had this body that ran) I had a waist that fit into skinny jeans and thighs that fit, too I had this body before I had children this body that has slipped away become something else after the third child or because I’m getting older I can’t say, really But I had this body and I wish I had appreciated it more when it was mine (mine alone) Because now it [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsMay 12, 2010
Happiness is
Happiness is three slippery bodies just out of the tub holding out their towels and asking for a “Daddy warm-up” Happiness is my Sweetie’s eyes deep brown and kind always smiling with soft lines around them like the Lucinda Williams song Happiness is this family that is ours only ours always ours because we took the leap that led us here ***************** Wednesday and Thursday are all about Happiness. Sarah and I are so happy to have you along on this amazing adventure. Link away…and we’ll get busy reading.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsMay 11, 2010
Courage is
Courage is taking a leap into love commitment Motherhood Courage is forgiving freely and forgetting moving forward Courage is starting each day fresh without the weight of yesterday’s failures or hurdles or burdens Courage is being the best woman I can be the best partner I can be the best Mother I can be and not apologizing for not being better ******* Are you new here? Do you need some more information about all these goings-on? Check out the sidebar. Everything you need to know is over there! Also, please bear with us as we catch up from yesterday on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 8, 2010
Popsicles and the parade that wasn’t: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! ********** The Three Popsicle Day (originally published May 23, 2009) We don’t go on too many weekend family outings, because on the days that I am home, J works (and vice versa). So this morning, when I was standing in the center of our little town at 9:56 [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, repost, three kidsMay 6, 2010
Discovering the Park: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! ********** Mysteries Unearthed (Originally published August 9, 2009) Friday I took my kids to the park. It was 3 in the afternoon. The baby had woken from her nap. Quiet time was over. We were at loose ends. So I strapped the girls into the bike trailer, B [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, repost, three kidsMay 4, 2010
He’s 6 now, and still my first: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! ********** The First Child (originally posted August 28, 2009) The first child is always first. Always. And it makes me kind of crazy. Because the second child is now the middle child. And the third child has to just cope with everything that the first child needs. And [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, repost, three kids, youngest childMay 2, 2010
Sleepless: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! *********** How many nights can I go without real sleep? (originally posted on April 12, 2009) J is upstairs putting the big kids to bed. Em is lying on the couch beside me, playing. I am as tired as I ever have been. Too tired to be writing [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, repost, sleep, three kidsApril 30, 2010
(On Not) Living in the Past
I have noticed lately that it’s not unusual for people to be living in their pasts. Thinking back to their glory days of high school. Or the independence of college. Their single days. The days when they had money (read: before children). There is a lot of this going on. And I’ve just (finally?) put it all together. I think it took me a while to realize this because, well, I don’t really have high school glory days. College was wonderful but not something I feel I need to revisit. I never really wanted to be single, so when I [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsApril 26, 2010
What I Should Have Said
Yesterday at a gathering I was asked by an old friend and mom of one, “How do you do three?” “You just do it,” I said without hesitating. And this is very true. You just do it. I just do it. I mother my three children. I respond first to who needs me most. I multitask all the time. I answer to mom, mama, mommy. Sometimes all at once. I hold hands and answer questions and zip jackets. I keep track and count heads and get juice. I take trips to the potty and mop up spilled water. I just [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 22, 2010
Happy Earth Day!
Not at all related to Earth Day, I’m posting over at Making the Moments Count today. Amber found us during our first foray into Five for Ten, way back in November, and she has the distinction of being the first person to send us a photo of herself wearing her hard-won Momalom T-shirt. Amber writes about her life as a mom of two young children. She writes with honesty and with–in her words–”no shenanigans,” which is why we like her so very much and feel such a connection with her. If you don’t know her–and even if you do–hop on [...]
Read More in Jen WritesApril 17, 2010
17 Years Ago
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kids
April 16, 2010
Happy Birthday, Oh Matriarch of our Family
So very many of us wouldn’t be here without you. Your six children (and their spouses) Your more than a dozen grandchildren (and some of their spouses!) And nine great-grandchildren For now. We all have been touched by your wisdom, your grace and your strength. And we each have countless memories of moments shared with you, lessons learned, advice sought. And tomorrow, many of us will gather for a celebration in your honor. What a privilege for us all. To be in a room together, our eyes looking toward you in gratitude and admiration. All of us owing you more [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, three kidsApril 12, 2010
Happy Birthday, Shaggy! Shall We Plan a Camping Trip?
P.S. Geez, was I a TOTALLY lousy big sister? Not letting you in the tent? Geez. P.P.S. Or, wait, no. I remember. You were a pesky little sister, right? P.P.P.S. Good thing none of it matters now.
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kidsApril 11, 2010
Easily and Gracefully
I actually looked up the word supple in the dictionary. And I’m glad I did. Because here’s the definition, according to Merriam-Webster: bending and moving easily and gracefully Easily. And Gracefully. That’s the part that speaks to me when it comes to being emotionally supple. I want to bend easily and gracefully in the ways that I react to things. I want to be able to breathe and take in what is in front of me, whether an entire container of art beads strewn across the kitchen floor or a child dancing through the house singing a song in a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 10, 2010
I’m Not Good at Twitter
I gave it a try. But, well, let’s face it, Twitter and I are not meant to be friends. I was never one of the popular crowd. In high school I had a friend–a best friend–who was a cheerleader. But, well, I never hung out with the other cheerleaders. There was something unspoken and mutually understood about my place–or UNplace–in the social gatherings of the day. Also, for Twitter? I don’t have the time. Even if it does only require (less than) 140 characters. I mean, I know I write about this all the time, my lack of time. And [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsApril 9, 2010
This Is My Life? Peace and Quiet
E is napping. (Almost four hours so far!) B is at a friend’s house apres school. S is helping me clean, REALLY clean. It is quiet. And peaceful. And productive around here. Is this really my life? I am savoring it. I know there may be only minutes–or just seconds, even–left.
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 7, 2010
Top Tips: A Sampling
There are things we all wished we’d known before we had kids. Things we wish other mothers had told us about. Things beyond “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Things like, sometimes squeezing in a shower is an accomplishment more satisfying than your greatest professional achievement. So, we’ve decided to offer up some tips of our own. A brief glimpse at the many things we’ve learned since becoming moms–in most cases since becoming moms of three. Here’s what we have for you this time, in no particular order at all: 1. Say Yes to your kids as often as you can. [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 6, 2010
Familiarity
I wish I could have written what Amanda wrote over the weekend. Her post on looking in the mirror reflects so much of what I’ve been feeling lately. I am so grateful to have found Amanda’s blog, with her gorgeously written posts about a life that is so familiar to me I feel as if I am looking in a mirror just taking in her words. And, after getting lost in her writing, I find myself asking If so many of us are feeling the same way Then why is it so often that we feel alone?
Read More in body image, home, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsMarch 30, 2010
Emotional suppleness
This morning on my drive into work, I happened upon an interview with scientist Stephen S. Hall. In talking about his new book Wisdom: From Philosophy to Science he used the term “emotional suppleness.” I didn’t hear much of what he said after that, because I just kept repeating those two words over and over to myself. Emotional suppleness. Emotional suppleness. I’ve written about my struggles for time, about wanting to be mindful of my children’s childhoods while also preparing them for adulthood, about the challenges of getting kids into bed, of keeping calm, of not wanting to be judged [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kids, writingMarch 26, 2010
Swap
Yesterday we hosted Kristen from Motherese, and today she’s hosting me! Due to a week of fevers, coughs, teething and other unexpected complications, I was left feeling less than able to compose something new. So, at Kristen’s brilliant suggestion, I went back to the archives, and I settled on a piece originally published last June. I could probably have written a post about how strange and somewhat uncomfortable it was to go back and reread my writing of a year. (Cringe.) Perhaps another day. Anyway, to read a little something about books and reading and why Sarah and I are [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 23, 2010
The Mommy Contest
We could also have titled this “Why We Think Moms Should Give Up a Little Control” but, that just doesn’t sound as catchy, does it? So, The Mommy Contest We don’t want to win the mommy contest You know the one The one where you have to be the smartest the calmest the one with the superhero costume in her purse the healthy snacks and the right answers to everything We spend so much time thinking and talking about what it is to be a mother Because the judgments come from every direction There are no clear answers anywhere And [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 18, 2010
This is My Life: Sunbathing
Don’t be alarmed. It is not ME who is sunbathing. But on this nice, sunny day, a dear member of the family enjoyed the day in the sun (after a thorough spin in the washing machine). Ah, spring.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 15, 2010
Struggling for time
Loud music. And 23 minutes on the dinner timer. Means I have time to sit down at my computer for a moment. Should I be with the rest of the family? Together in the other room. Enjoying the loud music, even louder in there. I am torn. I can actually feel the internal pulling. The I Shoulds: Family. I should be enjoying this time with them. Dancing. Goofing around. Singing to loud music. Taking in their smiles and their little bodies moving freely. Against. The I Wants: Time. Time is what I want. Time to form a complete thought and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingMarch 9, 2010
Last Saturday
A family breakfast of crepes and scrambled eggs. Grapefruit and coffee. A walk to the library to return books and take out videos. Lunch together. A houseful of blankets washed and hung to dry on the clothesline, drooping from a winter of ice and snow. A bike ride for B, S and Sweetie; a long nap for E; and reading on the porch for me. Catching up with neighbors after months of a housebound season. PJs before dinner, which has been cooking all day in the Crock-Pot, filling the house with the aromas of Indian spices. *** I came to [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 2, 2010
Thanks for noticing me
So there I am, loading the kids into the truck. Tying balloons onto car seats so they make it home from the birthday party. Fastening buckles. Unwrapping Smarties and Dum Dums for the short ride to Geege’s house. Rearranging the bags in the front seat so there is room for me to sit and drive. Chattering to the kids. Answering their questions. Finding their sippy cups. As far as loading in goes, this is a successful venture. A car pulls up. A window rolls down. I catch it all in the corner of my eye. “Everything OK, Jen? You need [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsFebruary 27, 2010
This is My Life: Short-Order Cook
“Mom, for breakfast can I have French toast, a sunny side up egg and a sunny side down egg?” I’d have included a photo here, but the meal was devoured before I could locate my camera.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, oldest childFebruary 23, 2010
Thank Yous
THANK YOU To the Cheerio fairy, who showed up on my deck a few weeks ago with a box for B’s upcoming school party. To the parents of B’s friend, who drive him to and from school more than I do. To the parents of S’s friend. (See above re: school.) To dear friends who came to dinner and brought with them not only a gorgeous and tasty salad but truth and honesty and humor and comfort that Sweetie and I are not alone in this parenting gig. To all of the people who are helping to show my children [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 22, 2010
Take 7 Minutes Out of Your Day
February 20, 2010
Finally! We selected a winner!
Love it Up has come and gone. We had 37 entries to our love-letter challenge, and Sarah and I finally had a chance to sit down with our computers (albeit farther away from each other than usual–one of us is at Geege’s) and select a winner (thank the computer goddesses for iChat). We read about love of equipment, stuffed animals, family members … even states of consciousness. And we loved reading every single entry. It was difficult to choose a winner. I know, that’s so cliched! But it’s true, of course. We want to send all of you chocolate goodie [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhoodFebruary 13, 2010
There’s Still Time!
We want you to Love It Up! So, after you’re perfected that mushy love letter to your Sweetie (or to the chocolates, roses and conversation hearts), link up here. It’s easy, and you’ll be joining an already rich pool of entrants. (Take a read through! Leave a comment!) After Sarah returns from her Valentine weekend away, she and I will review all the entries over a box of chocolates. We’ll select a winner and send any remaining chocolates as first prize. (Just kidding; we’ll put together a Valentine’s Day-inspired bundle of goodies for the winner.) Entries must be linked up [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 9, 2010
This is my life: Kitchen Help = Anemic Carrot
“Mama, Can I help you?” “Sure, honey, do you want to peel the carrot?” “OK!” And on that note, there’s still time to participate in Love it Up. Write a love letter. Make it racy. Passionate. Gooey. While your kids are making their Valentine’s for classmates this week, sit beside them and draft something LOVEly. Then, link it here!
Read More in Jen Writes, oldest childFebruary 7, 2010
A Short Love Letter to My Sweetie
Dear Sweetie, Twelve years ago I chose you. Every day since I have chosen you. It is the easiest choice I have ever made. And I will make it again and again. All my love, Me
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsFebruary 1, 2010
Now’s Your Chance to Love it Up
My discovery of a treasure trove of correspondence, much between me and Sarah (tidbits here and here), led one of our most supportive readers to suggest that we all could write more love letters. And, Amber, you are right. I’ve been thinking about your comment for just about three months now. Add to that the fact that things seem a little lonely—boring, even—around these parts lately. So Sarah and I thought it was time for another challenge, of sorts. And with Valentine’s Day just two weeks away, we decided this is the perfect time. Our latest endeavor is Love it [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJanuary 29, 2010
I am (finally?) the person everybody wants to be around
My 1-year-old stands beside the couch patting the cushion, motioning me to sit down instead of pick up old pretzel chunks from the floor. And if I sit she will heft her solid little body up next to me, crawl on top of me, and stay. (For about 10 seconds.) My 5-year-old waits. Waits. Playing with a truck. Or sitting on his bed rubbing Theo’s ear. I don’t know. But he waits. For me to turn off the shower. And before I can reach for a towel I hear, “Mama? Mom?” My 4-year-old asks if I will “suggle” with her [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJanuary 26, 2010
Lip Service
As a mother with three young children who look to me and their father for guidance on everything from getting dressed to knowing when it is safe to cross the street, I think about the lessons I’m imparting. I think about the details of our days. I think about the times I yell at them and shouldn’t have. Or how I could have answered a difficult question differently. I think about how much little stuff goes into creating memorable lives for them. I want to create memories for my children. As parents, Sweetie and I have started traditions—of going to [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJanuary 20, 2010
This is my life: Two hours at a time
Sarah and I thought we’d start a new series. Simple pieces and/or photos that just tell it like it is. The basic day-to-day of having three kids. Straightforward and less about the emotional part of mothering every now and then. We’ve decided to call it This is My Life. So, here goes my first attempt: My days are divided into two-hour blocks, which go something like this. 6:30 a.m. Wake up 8:30 a.m. Out the door to drop off B and S at school 9:30 a.m. Home from drop off 11:30 a.m. Out the door to pick up S 12:30 [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJanuary 16, 2010
Humbled
How can I sit in my HOUSE, look around at my THINGS and want MORE? When there are people who have nothing, have lost everything and don’t even know if their loved ones are alive? Why, so often, does it take the worst to make me appreciate all that I have. This amazing family. A safe, warm, happy home. Friends. My sister. The other night I watched a documentary about the Young at Heart Chorus, a group of men and women whose average age is 80 (or older!) who perform across the world. They sing songs by the Ramones, James [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJanuary 13, 2010
Remember Gremlins?
I wasn’t going to write anything at all with this. However, I feel it is vital to point out that Tammy was Sarah’s beloved Cabbage Patch doll. As far as I know, all other references are to actual people. (But don’t ask me about the Nerds in hearts.)
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kidsJanuary 7, 2010
A Writer’s Life?
How much of my life should I reveal here? Where do I draw the line regarding what personal details or thoughts or doubts to include? Does leaving myself vulnerable make me naive? Negligent? Irresponsible? To myself? To others whose lives are inseparable from my own? But. How can I be authentic without sometimes being vulnerable? These are some of the questions that arise again and again. And the answers are no closer to the surface. I know that I will not post photos. Or use names. I will not reveal any identifying details about where I live. Perhaps you could [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingJanuary 6, 2010
The Receipt
With a play cash register, some plastic food, a marker, a small pad of paper and a reusable grocery bag, my children started the day playing. Together. A grocery store. A list. Shopping. They played in one room as I sat in another, drinking coffee, listening to their imaginations float through to me. I smiled. I laughed. I made a grocery list for them. They were the cashier and the customer. They called for a price check and a cleanup in aisle 9, or their own equivalent of each. I tuned out and tuned in as I sat, doing something, [...]
Read More in chores, home, Jen Writes, oldest child, siblings, three kidsJanuary 4, 2010
Sometimes you have to just let them fend for themselves
The kids, I mean. Your kids. The ones who are constantly underfoot. Asking for something. A snack. Help. A story. A solution to their everpresent boredom. But sometimes you just have to let them fend for themselves. You have to let them fight, keeping an ear out for bloodshed but otherwise staying out of it. Sometimes you just have to make the decision to get something done. So you find the hammer and level. And the picture hangers. And you dust off the photos you’ve been meaning to hang for months. And some, for years. And you just go for [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJanuary 2, 2010
Ten from Jen: Blog Posts of 2009
We only started Momalom in March. But I liked Scary Mommy’s idea of choosing a favorite post from each month. This was more difficult than I anticipated. Not because I’m so vain to think that I have many “bests,” but because I read so many old posts and relived so many moments of introspection of the past year. A side-effect of blogging, I am finding. But it’s a good way to pause and reflect, too, which is something I’ve been trying to do. So, here are my top 10 of 2009. March: Wine with dinner makes me philosophical (Be careful [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 31, 2009
Blue Moon
Happy New Year. Happy New Decade. Happy 2010. There are a few more hours of 2009 in my place in the world, and I am anxious to ring in the New Year. The kids are in bed, and I just peeked outside at the full moon. The second this month. How perfect. How rare. A blue moon on New Year’s Eve. To me this means second chances. Renewal. It means there are good things in store in the coming year. Things that rarely have happened before in my life. Better things. Even mystical things. Tonight, I am crossing the threshold [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsDecember 30, 2009
(Be)longing
Was I lying when I wrote about not apologizing for my dreams? Because I haven’t been doing much to further those dreams lately. I have been composing only in my head. At night. Long after everyone else in the house is asleep. Or I have been jotting down notes on a legal pad between trips to the kitchen to do a dish, get a snack, refill a juice cup. But I have not been here. Here. At the computer, the porthole to the blog, at night, after the kids are asleep. I have not. Instead I have been with my [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, home, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingDecember 22, 2009
Ten things you may not know: The physical me
I have only one ovary (and one fallopian tube) All of my other internal organs are in tact (as far as I know) My lips are not my own (but once they were) My heart has been broken (and is stronger for it) I have never broken a bone (but I have seen Sarah’s arm in a cast) My skin is finicky and dry and cracked (so I apply lotion many times every day) My hair turned grey after my dad died (in a stripe down the center of my head) I have lines around my eyes (that I just [...]
Read More in Jen WritesDecember 16, 2009
Priorities, Insecurities and Experiences
Maybe you’ve noticed it’s been a while since I wrote anything substantive. (Maybe that’s my ego talking and you haven’t noticed anything at all about me. That’s just the way it should be, actually.) Here’s the thing: The week of daring writing paralyzed me. All week I thought daring thoughts, walked out to the ends of every emotional gangplank in my psyche and ended up crying on Friday morning when my Sweetie called to ask if he should pick up coffee on his way home. So, no daring post from me. Perhaps it’s not the right time. Perhaps I was [...]
Comments on this entry are closed
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 8, 2009
Wanna be Momalomanonymous?
So, we have this idea. If you would like to participate in our Half-Drunk Challenge but you need an anonymous place to post, we can help. A few of you have said that you can’t write what you really want to write and publish it on your own blog. Too real. Too daring. Too something for your family, your friends, your own regular readers, you. Whatever your feelings, your reasons, your hesitations, we would like to help. So, if you want to participate but you don’t have a blog or don’t want to post your entry on your blog, please [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 7, 2009
A Few Clarifications About Our Half-Drunk Challenge and Some Ideas of How to Get Started
1. You DO NOT have to have a blog to take part in the Half-Drunk Challenge. If you would like to write something specifically for us, we would be honored. Write write away, submit your essay/story to one of us via e-mail, and we will take it from there. (See those nice little e-mail buttons over there to your right? Go.) 2. You DO NOT have to be drunk (or daring) all week. We are not promoting total annihilation of holiday responsibility. We are simply giving you a week to put together your most daring, bravest and, if you so [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 4, 2009
Voila: C’est une gerbil triste
Here it is. The sad gerbil. Heartbreaking, isn’t it. The frown. Did the gerbil miss me while I was away at camp? Is the gerbil just a fill-in for Sarah? Did she miss me? I love this piece of notebook paper, so lovingly crafted into mixed-media artwork. The letters in bold marker and the attention-to-detail strokes of the crayon-colored gerbil fur. I love thinking about the time Sarah took to create this masterpiece. She was likely just 6 years old, as the rest of my gerbil-mentioning camp letters were from 1984. And here we are, 25 years later. And my [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 1, 2009
Why my kids have milk mustaches, skinned knees and chore charts
Out of necessity, I have given up a lot of control. A LOT. That’s what happens when you are outnumbered by your children. And your children’s needs. You have to let things go. And here’s what has happened since I stopped wiping faces after every meal or even caring if they’ve had three meals rather than eight snacks: I’ve come to believe that me giving up a certain amount of control of my kids is good for everyone. It takes the pressure off of me. And for the kids? They learn risk, responsibility, consequences. Also pride. And humility. But the [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsNovember 29, 2009
High Hopes
Dear Cuisinart Food Processor, I love you. I really do. Without you there would be no hummus. Without you, making macaroni and cheese (uh, I mean Cheesy Noodle Casserole) would be so much more difficult. Without you roasted potatoes would not be as evenly sliced. But, most importantly, without you my holiday mustard would be impossible to make. Impossible. So, please. Don’t die on me. Not now. I know you’re feeling old. And cracked. And worn out. Maybe even unappreciated. Let me assure you that I love you. I count on you. And I need you. Do not die on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 27, 2009
Out of the closet and into the heart
I spent much of the day cleaning out and organizing closets. Going through bins. Throwing out dried up Play-Doh and tempera paint. Sweeping up mouse poop. Putting all of the unused batteries into one box. And uncovering TREASURES. TREASURES, people. Treasures. I found 12-year-old e-mails between me and Sarah. I found letters Sarah wrote to me while I was at camp—in 1984. Also, handwritten letters she sent to me at college, when Sarah was not yet a teenager, with the return address of “Barftown, USA.” Oh, how I wish I had a scanner. There is a drawing of a sad [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 25, 2009
Loose ends and a few thoughts
Oh MY! Where is that lovely graphic to begin the post? What? Five for Ten is over? (Boo boo lip.) I think it’s going to take some time to recover. Right now we are in the process of basking in your lovely comments and figuring out T-shirt details. Bear with us, ladies. We’ll be in touch. (We also are baking pies and figuring out if the kids have any decent clean clothes to wear for Thanksgiving tomorrow, ya know?) In the meantime, here’s something for you (ladies and gentlemen, both) to think about: A thread that seemed to recur during [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 23, 2009
What I Learned on My Weekend Away
I still love J lots and lots. He still loves me. We still like to take long walks and people watch. I can still do a pretty decent job on the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle. Great friends and great food make for a great time and great memories. I miss my kids when we aren’t together. It’s nice to have a new shirt to wear every once in a while. I can recognize and name all Celtics starters, even without the benefit of close-up television and Tommy Heinsohn’s commentary. I may have completely lost the ability to sleep [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsNovember 21, 2009
Vacation Day
As you read this, my sweetie and I are on our weekend getaway. I’ve been planning for this for months. Since about the time Sarah surprised Dan with his weekend getaway, and I spent the weekend at Sarah’s with all six kids. Which is where the six kids are now. With Sarah. At Sarah’s. And I have no doubt that everyone is fine. As for me and my sweetie, we do not get away together often. This trip is a birthday present to him. And all I told him was that he needed to be packed by 3:00 Friday afternoon. [...]
Comments on this entry are closed
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsLast night a local news station ran a story about mommy bloggers, featuring us. Me. and Sarah. Momalom. She was shown unloading the (my!) dishwasher. I was shown painting with my daughter. We were shown together leaning over a computer. It was strange to see us on TV. And to see the clips chosen for the piece, the few seconds selected from among the hour the reporter spent in my home two Wednesdays ago. It was strange that what we saw on screen was not anything like the conversations that Sarah and I have daily. I mean, we each were [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 17, 2009
Old stairs. New (older) stairs. Will somebody please identify the metaphor for me?
On Sunday one of my neighbors entered my house. She had borrowed a portable crib and a high chair to accommodate a houseguest in the form of a toddler. And she was returning the equipment. I heard her come in. I was upstairs with the baby, searching the girls’ room for two matching shoes. B, downstairs, yelled, “Mom. Like, Lisa’s here.” (He watches a lot of, like, Scooby Doo.) I went down the stairs more carefully than usual, because just that morning J had ripped them open to expose the original stairs–circa 1870ish–and they’re a little uneven and splintery and [...]
Read More in chores, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 15, 2009
On your mark, get set, go!
Or, as they say in the rowing world, Ready All, Row! Yesterday I received a medal in the mail. A bronze medal. Remember this? Well, our boat won a medal. (OK, OK, so there were only three boats in the race. I’m still proud of the medal.) It was kind of nice opening the mailbox and finding a bulky envelope with my name on it. And it was kind of nice to have to wait for the medal. The race was several weeks ago, true, but receiving the medal through the mail just helped me relive the great experience. It [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 12, 2009
Motherhood has made me braver
Play Me [Audio clip: view full post to listen] I’ve been listening to this song over and over and over in the car during my drive to work. I started because it’s the only CD I had in the car for some reason. And I have a long commute. And I tire of NPR after 30 minutes or so. And I love this song. I’ve been singing out loud, marveling at the lyrics, at the romanticism in a song that doesn’t have the raw sound of romance until you do focus on the lyrics. To the line, “And she’ll know [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 10, 2009
In the moments after bedtime
I am sitting here, waiting for the words to come. I have started a half dozen posts, but none is coming out the way I want it to. They don’t meet my expectations. I don’t meet my expectations. But it’s NaBloPoMo time. I HAVE to post. It’s my night. The pressure’s on. The kids are asleep. The house is quiet. I’m feeling a little better–not SO exhausted that I can’t sit still and type. But the IDEAS. Where are the ideas? I can’t just post another poem. A tribute to someone else. A wish for a makeover. I need some [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, three kidsNovember 8, 2009
A poem on Sunday
Pardon me while I take the easy way out of my NaBloPoMo responsibilities today. It’s just that I’m tired. And everyone in my family is sick. And I tried to write a post, I really did, but I kept looking over to the wall beside my desk, where I have this poem tacked up. It’s one of my favorites. And I think you should read it.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingNovember 6, 2009
A few words for Mary Ann and Sydna
I bake. I bake yummy things. Often. And one of the things I bake two or three times each week is muffins. I love muffins. And for a while—before kids and then when I had only one and we’d walk into town on a whim—I was in the habit of buying a muffin whenever the opportunity presented itself. But I was never satisfied. They always were too cakey or too oily or too crumbly or had too many blueberries or or or. I tried recipes. Many many recipes. But none was THE ONE. At some point along the way I [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 4, 2009
me (n) an undefinable entity
What defines you? How do you describe yourself to other moms? To other women who aren’t moms? Are you a mother? Blogger? Partner? Are you a daughter? Artist? Financial planner? Are you a toilet scrubber, grocery shopper, diaper changer, chauffeur? What are you? What am I? What AM I? I am a mother first. Well, I am a woman first. I was a partner first. And then the kids came and took over. I am a meal planner, a cook, a nurturer. I am a toy-picker-upper. I am an editor. And a bedtime-story reader. I am a hugger and a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingNovember 2, 2009
Confession: I want a mommy makeover
Did you ever see one of those mom makeover segments on a show like Live with Regis and Kelly and wonder What is wrong with that woman? I mean, do the moms that they find for these shows REALLY look SO tragic in real life? Dull, stringy hair and a general overall look that just DEFINES frumpy? A few years ago this didn’t seem possible to me. It seemed to me like they must have given the woman of the day an unmakeover prior to her “before” picture. But, now I’m a mother. A tragic mother. My teeth aren’t yellow [...]
Read More in body image, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 30, 2009
On your mark … Get set …
Well folks, here it is. The stark truth. Staring at me. A while ago Sarah and I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo. And here it is Oct. 30. So we are going to have to gear up. Am I back in with both feet, as Sarah so understandably asked? Yes, I am. So give us tomorrow to gorge ourselves on candy, and we’ll be back every day in November. Yep. Every. Day. Looking forward to seeing you here.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingOctober 27, 2009
The days of no me before motherhood
So I kind of abandoned Sarah this week. Talk about SCARY. I’d been walking around for days frustrated with just about every big aspect of life. (More than usual.) Money. Career. Relationship. Mommyhood. And I’d started to take it all out on my kids. And my partner. I was having imaginary conversations. Out loud. It was getting pretty ugly. And scary. Because I wasn’t making anything better. I was avoiding real conversations that needed to be had. And I was perpetuating a vicious circle of “why am I the only one” thinking. Why am I the only one to see [...]
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, home, housework, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, paid work, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingOctober 20, 2009
The Holidays. Already?
It is mid-October. The Halloween hype is in full force. TV specials. Pumpkins on doorsteps and fake cobwebs in trees. Costumes in the Sunday newspaper flyers. I can deal with Halloween. This year I will be marching in the local parade alongside a firefighter, a MEAN witch and a baby chick. We will see friends. We will trick or treat. We will eat too much candy. And then, it will be over. But after Halloween? Thanksgiving. Christmas. The New Year. Yes. The holiday season already is upon us. I like the holidays. I do. Somehow even though we are vegetarians, [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 19, 2009
My cultured (?) children
What is it like to LIVE with three kids? It’s messy. And it’s loud. But I have to remind myself that those two things are not always bad. In my house, often the messes are art projects. The remnants of art projects. The precursors to art projects. Just about anything goes when it comes to creating art in our house. Cardboard boxes. Popsicle sticks. Sticks of any kind, actually. Acorns and other assorted organic matter. Feathers. Pom poms. Plastic doohickeys of every shape, size and unknown origin. These things and PAPER are all over my house. As are crayons of [...]
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 16, 2009
The not-so-big reveal
So, the secret project? It was a book. My sweetie recently endured a significant birthday milestone. Nope. Not that one. Add 10 years. And for his birthday I decided to make him a book. I worked on it during my regular blog-designated hours, and he thought I was blogging. Until he realized how much time I was “blogging.” At which point I had to lie to him. I told him I was working on stuff for momalom’s mom’s wedding. (Thanks, Mom.) I don’t know if he believed me, but he’s not the curious type. So, the book. I agonized over [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, relationship, three kids, three kids (six kids)October 13, 2009
Broken
The kitchen doorknob The storm door The window (well, two) in the bedroom(s) The drawer in the upstairs bathroom vanity The drawer pulls on most of B’s dresser drawers The drawer pull on the downstairs mittens-and-hat dresser The kitchen silverware drawer The toilet paper dispenser thingy The decorative molding around the back door The deck steps The bulkhead hinges The baby gate Fifty percent of the toys in the house *** Is that all? I was sure the list would be longer.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 9, 2009
I’ve never even touched a cigarette
So. My story is not as dramatic as Sarah’s. Haven’t read hers? You should. I’d link to it here, but you’d probably go and read it. And you’d likely never return. It’s quite gripping. (Maybe I’ll give you another shot later.) My story is so undramatic that it’s difficult to know how to tell it. What to mention. What to leave out. I was the good girl. I didn’t drink. I didn’t smoke. No drugs. No parties. No dates. I’ve never even touched a cigarette. My mom says that when I reached age 5 the hard parts of raising me [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, writingOctober 5, 2009
“You have more to give”
I used to be an athlete. And I was a decent one. Not the strongest, not the most dedicated, not the best. But I was pretty good. I was a collegiate rower. I made the first boat. I was elected captain by my teammates. I medaled in the Head of the Charles once. Being an athlete was a major part of my identity. And yesterday I got to go back in time and get a little glimpse of the me that used to be. It has been a long time since I’ve rowed competitively. I worked as a crew coach [...]
Read More in exercise, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsOctober 1, 2009
A few thoughts on that unmentionable topic: MONEY
If I had known the utter financial ruin that having three kids would do to my life, would I have those three all over again? Well, yes, of course. But if I knew then, as they say … I would not have purchased a 2004 VW Passat Wagon GLS. Oh, no, I wouldn’t have. Mine recently suffered its demise. It is only five years old with 80K miles. I have taken care of it. And yet, it needs a new engine. I am told by a mechanic I trust that this happens a lot with these models. Oil sludge buildup [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 1, 2009
October First
Happy Birthday, Dad. We miss you every day, but today we miss you a little bit more.
Read More in Dad, Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 28, 2009
The Unexpected
Oh, is it my turn to post? Sorry, I guess I’ve been distracted by a few other things. You know, the usual daily routines of raising children. Feeding, clothing, transporting. Also, children’s birthdays (two this week); school fundraisers; work deadlines; book group (at least I finished the book this time. But, um, isn’t it my pick? Damn.); preparing for a crew race this weekend; paying bills creatively; planning a birthday party; and the list goes on. But it is the transporting that got a little more difficult this week. Sunday evening, on the way back from a family visit, my [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 22, 2009
Fighting the inFLUence
OK. So it’s flu season. Yeah yeah yeah. The kids have had their shots. We’ll wash our hands. We’ll sneeze in our sleeves. We’ll get the H1N1 shot when it comes out, too. Honestly, I’m not that freaked out. We’ll take precautions. We’ll get the flu or we won’t. We’ll deal. But, here’s what I could really use: A vaccine that fights bad behavior. More specifically, a shot that vaccinates a younger sibling from the bad habits of the older sibling. My oldest always has been the most difficult child. He is sensitive. He is creative. He is impatient. He [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, siblings, three kidsSeptember 19, 2009
Yes. It really takes that long to …
Having three kids, I could finish that sentence any number of ways. But, today, tonight, … put the kids to bed. Twice in the last week I have found myself explaining why it is I start the bedtime ritual so early. Two friends with one child each (Please notice I did not say “only” one child or “just” one child. This is not a judgment post. Just one of what it’s like to be outnumbered by one’s children.) have caught me in the early stages of bedtime recently. And, yes, it really is 6:30, and I really am ferrying the [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 19, 2009
A long post about changes in motherhood
I have spent most of the last six years in the company of babies, toddlers, preschoolers and, just recently, a kindergartner and his friends. Also, many moms of these children. These moms are around my age–within five years in most cases. Some work full time, most work part time, like me. Some have one child, some have two, a few have three. All are women who put their children first, as I do. Some are single, some are married. Some spend time exercising or writing or going to knitting clubs or book groups. Some are even able to do the [...]
Read More in exercise, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 16, 2009
Looking beyond the look(s)
Tolerance. I hate that word. I hate it because is it really so so difficult to just skip ahead to acceptance? I hate it because I identified with the gay community for a while, and still do sometimes, strangely enough, and the word tolerance meant difference to me. Not good difference. Difference that somebody might be willing to put up with in the right circumstances. But difference. And. Not as good. But, tolerance. It’s back. And I am learning the mom side of it now. And in this frenzied life of mine I’m realizing that I have become more … [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 10, 2009
I used to be smarter and less frizzy
Motherhood has fried my brain. And, let’s face it, most of the rest of me. I am frazzled, both in appearance and in mindset. I can no longer complete one task, simple or otherwise, without thinking of a half dozen other things I have to do while in the process. Everyone’s needs come before my own. My kids have bathed, are wearing clean clothes and sleeping in clean sheets. My hair is dirty, my blouse is splotched with mysterious red dots, my bed is unmade (and not exactly line-dry fresh). I wonder sometimes, lately frequently, what I did with my [...]
Read More in chores, Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 5, 2009
Pests
September 3, 2009
Lists
Note: Sarah is not the only one of us who makes lists. 1. I have spent the last week making lists 2. This doesn’t make last week any different from any other week, except for 3. The sheer number of lists 4. There are the lists pertaining to cupcakes a. raw ingredients b. ingredients tally for making 125 vanilla cupcakes c. ingredients tally for making 125 chocolate cupcakes d. total ingredients tally e. specific stores I must go to in order to acquire which ingredients f. other necessary items to purchase g. timing of cupcake preparation h. materials needed to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 1, 2009
The noises coming from upstairs
I am trying to write something useful. Again. I have started three different posts. All take too much brain power to bring to a satisfactory (to me) completion. I don’t have a migraine. I ate today. I exercised today. I didn’t yell at my kids at bedtime. I slept relatively well last night. All of this together brings me as close to being in top form as I get these days. But I can’t make myself see the intended posts through. My problem is perfection. I have an idea in my mind. An idea that encompasses all that I want [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingAugust 30, 2009
All this crying in my house.
Is there a point in this parenting gig where a whole day goes by without anyone in the family crying? Makes me want to listen to kd lang’s version of the Roy Orbison song and wail along with her. But somebody would probably just start crying because s/he doesn’t like the song, or didn’t get to choose the song, or doesn’t know the words to the song, or can’t hear the song “youd enough.” For instance.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsAugust 28, 2009
The first child
The first child is always first. Always. And it makes me kind of crazy. Because the second child is now the middle child. And the third child has to just cope with everything that the first child needs. And there is always something he needs. Help tying his shoes. Another snack. More water in his Thermos. To be read to. A hug. Attention. He always needs my attention. And his first younger sister the now middle child has always been second. Because she is patient and understanding and kind. Because she can entertain herself comfortably happily. She is not nervous [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsAugust 24, 2009
Three Kids. One Mommy.
Three kids: Full of energy. One Mommy: Dragging. Three kids: Resist sleep. One Mommy: Craving sleep. Three kids: Loud. One Mommy: Wishing for earplugs most of the time. Three kids: MESSY. One Mommy: Constantly lowering the clean standards. Three kids: Whiny. One Mommy: Impatient. Three kids: Funny as all hell. One Mommy: Laughing a lot. Three kids: Creative. One Mommy: Impressed. Three kids: Allies. One Mommy: In BIG trouble. Three kids: Loving. One Mommy: Lucky. Three kids: Asleep. One Mommy: Eating leftover Chinese food.
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, three kidsAugust 21, 2009
Birthdays.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I am exactly 30 years older than my oldest nephew. I remember the day Sarah called to tell me she was expecting. She said she had a very early birthday present for me. It was a difficult phone call. She and I were not close then. We were geographically distant, emotionally distant. We were living very different lives, and we rarely spoke on the phone. I know now how difficult that call was for her to make. And I know that I didn’t respond well. I’m sure I didn’t congratulate her. Frankly, I was shocked. And [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, oldest child, sisters, three kidsAugust 19, 2009
A Little Glimpse of the Pre-Kid Us
As I was running around trying to get myself and three kids ready for a day at the beach this morning, I heard, “Doesn’t Mommy look nice today.” The kids and I were due to meet some friends at 9 a.m. Things were not going smoothly. Then, “Haven’t seen that one in a while.” Suddenly, I wasn’t frantically trying to find Thermoses and swimmy diapers and sun hats or yelling at the kids to Get Your Swimsuits ON. I stopped. I was wearing a comfy, old sundress. One I used to wear to the beach. But it has been a [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, relationshipAugust 9, 2009
Mysteries unearthed
Friday I took my kids to the park. It was 3 in the afternoon. The baby had woken from her nap. Quiet time was over. We were at loose ends. So I strapped the girls into the bike trailer, B hopped on his scooter, and off we went. The park nearest us is a gem. Before J and I had kids we went occasionally, but it’s really a much better destination for families. Playgrounds, lots of space to run around, animals, swings. And trees. And a river. And rocks. So after a little time on the swings and playing with [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, UncategorizedAugust 6, 2009
Exercise isn’t just for athletes
Today I went swimming at lunch. Which means I am no longer pumping at work. Which means that this is likely my first post in which I actively mention GUILT. Sarah, you no longer are alone. I have wanted to start swimming again for a while. I love it. It’s something I can do at lunch at work. It doesn’t cause severe pain to my body. And I can self-motivate myself to swim better than any other sport or workout. Over the past six years, my exercise regimen has been spotty. The demands of pregnancy, childbirth and mothering young children [...]
Read More in exercise, Jen Writes, youngest childAugust 2, 2009
Growing Pains
Last night B woke up, twice, with leg cramps. This happens occasionally, and yesterday he was riding his scooter and showing me tricks for much of the afternoon. He wore out his little leg muscles and woke up in pain. As I rubbed his calf and listened to him whimper and hold his breath, I remembered waking with cramps when I was a kid. Lying awake in my bed feeling they would never go away. And then, just as quickly as they had come on, the cramps would disappear, the muscles would relax. I feel the same about the house [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, UncategorizedJuly 27, 2009
Parenting three: Whose needs come first?
I spend my days evaluating the needs of my three children and determining whose needs should come first. What’s the most urgent situation? Tending to the baby’s dirty diaper? Fetching a snack for my eternally hungry 5-year-old? Helping my 3-year-old in the bathroom? What do I need to do to keep the balance around here, to make sure that each child gets what s/he needs and that we all are happier for it? A few recent situations have included: 1. (S comes first.) Yesterday, I decided that it would be nice to take a walk with the kids after lunch. [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, three kids, UncategorizedJuly 18, 2009
Vacation day at last
Well, today is the day we all meet up in Vermont. Yippeeeee! I only have about a zillion things to do before we get there. Wait. No. That’s not true. I did a gazillion things yesterday. So today I only have a bazillion things to do. But I don’t even care. I am trying to keep it zen. I just said to the kids, “As far as I am concerned our vacation starts now.” And then I let them have as much powdered sugar as they wanted on their waffles. (It was quite difficult to see the waffles when they [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, three kids (six kids), UncategorizedJuly 13, 2009
Don’t Call Them Swimming Lessons
I signed B and S up for swimming lessons this week. Shh. Don’t tell them. Just say, “We’re going to a pool today. And there might be other kids there. And an instructor. His name is Kim. [giggle giggle] And he might play with you in the water.” Hey, it worked! There are three kids in the swimming class. Two of them are my kids. I haven’t been yet, because I was at work today. But I haven’t seen my family all happy at the same time and for such a prolonged amount of time in a LONG TIME. They [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, UncategorizedJuly 11, 2009
Some thoughts of Saturday
The fevers are gone (the bickering is back). (And, No, Mom, it wasn’t swine flu.) Like many summer days, we don’t have much planned today. Last Saturday Sarah—just a week into her new full-time work schedule—called to ask if we could get together. I should have dropped everything, gathered up the kids, and met her halfway, 30 minutes down the road. A playground for the kids. A bench for us. Lots of juice boxes and Goldfish crackers. But I didn’t. I hadn’t washed my face or brushed my teeth yet. I was really hoping for a shower. The kids weren’t [...]
Read More in chores, housework, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, three kids, unpaid work, workJuly 6, 2009
Throwing a little salt over my shoulder
So I was working on a post about how I have been full of self pity lately. Feeling sorry for myself at championship levels. But it wasn’t quite coming together. So I filled in with a list of a few things. Which turned out to read like a pity list, too. (If a bit silly.) Which I didn’t mean. But, regardless, it’s time to move on. Today I was brought out of myself because my two oldest kids woke up with fevers. Tonight S crashed early after a super-impressive whine fest. B is mellowed on the couch right now glued [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, UncategorizedJuly 4, 2009
Becoming Cool
I live in an artsy New England town. Lots of musicians. Artists of all kinds. Creative people creating. These are major reasons why I love living here. But also, often I feel very uncool. For my day job? Well, part of it entails writing obituaries. Yep. Also, I don’t play a musical instrument. Nor can I draw a realistic interpretation of anything. Or make a convincing attempt at abstract representation, for that matter. Oh sure, I write. But it seems like everyone else does too. And the rest of them? Well, they actually have their books published. When I take [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, siblings, three kids, UncategorizedJuly 1, 2009
A few things to get off of my chest
I have a post brewing. But it’s not entirely through the filter yet. So this will have to do for now: 1. A while back I wrote about how you don’t have to look far to find someone who is worse off. (Here.) Here’s the thing, though. Sometimes you just feel like shit. And your bad is bad enough. Even though someone else is going through more. Someone else is sicker. Or poorer. Or more stressed out. But sometimes, your own problems are enough to feel bad about. I’m just saying. ********** 2. Sweeping the kitchen floor makes me feel [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, siblings, three kidsJuly 1, 2009
The Sixth One Was on My Back
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids (six kids)
June 27, 2009
Update
In no particular order: One popcorn kernel up nose–and retrieved (my kid) One fall off of a lawn chair (Sarah’s kid) Many, many small plastic toy parts fished out of the cheeks (of the babies) Eight popsicles (four kids) Three boxes of Annies mac n cheese (all of us) Three bathing suits and two diaper butts (b/c I couldn’t find the bathing suits for Sarah’s two youngest) Several water “shooters” (for the four “big kids”) Too many pushes on the swing to count (my kid) Just about the whole day wearing the Ergo (my kid and OUCH my BACK) Phone [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids (six kids)June 26, 2009
Mama or Aunt Jennie?—It’s all the same this weekend
Well, I’m off. My part of the secret weekend is about to begin. Tomorrow morning, I’ll be loading the three kids—and the pillows—into the car for the hourlong ride south. Where we’ll meet up with Kelsey, who will no doubt have everything completely under control at Sarah’s. And then, after Kels gives me the rundown of nap schedules and bottle needs, she will leave, and I will be left alone. That is, not at all alone. It will be me and six kids. Shall we review the ages? Indulge me, OK? 6, 5, 3, 2, 1, 9 months. Alright, alright, [...]
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids (six kids)June 23, 2009
Mothering Three: Do you see yourself out there anywhere?
Magazines. I love them. I used to subscribe to many, but when the necessary budgeting axe hit our home, the periodicals were the first to go. I watched as they dwindled. And now they are gone. And I don’t miss them so much. Who has the time? But a few days ago I had a few moments to browse the magazines in the pediatrician’s office and then at the library. I came home with Vegetarian Times, The New Yorker, Natural Living, Mothering and Parents. I also have a People that my dear friend Liz, who appreciates my need for the [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, sleep, three kidsJune 20, 2009
We Miss You, Dad
These are the only digital images I have of Dad. I meant to spend some time with the scanner and the boxes of pictures I have of him—hundreds. Family shots. “Artistic” shots. But life got in the way, and this is all I have. A silly montage that Sarah put together several years ago of John, shaving off his beard in stages. And changing hats, for whatever reason. His brother—our uncle Tom—is a professional photographer, and dad loved photography. He loved to attend our sporting events and stand at the sidelines with his impressive lens hanging around his neck. Making [...]
Read More in Dad, fatherhood, Jen WritesJune 19, 2009
Should you judge a book (or your sister) by its cover?
I received an e-mail from a friend a few nights ago that brought me back to summer vacation, almost five years ago. Not to the beaches or sitting in a hammock reading, or to introducing B to his extended family for the first time. But to a time when I was in judgment of my sister’s behavior. Toward a book. The e-mail: “Do you save the dust jackets that come with your children’s books? I take them off because I know they’re going to just get ripped. But then I have no idea what to do with them…” Around the [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, sistersJune 17, 2009
Those Days That Never Go According to Plan
Is there any other kind of day? They happen at work, and they happen at home. And today is one of them. I was going to get up early and post. Start the day with something for me. I got up at 8 o’clock. EIGHT. Radical. I threw a load of laundry in shortly after waking, because Wednesday I am not at the office and so I do laundry. Then I realized there were sleeping bags in the tent, which J pitched about 10 days ago, just before it started to rain for eight days. What I found: two very [...]
Read More in Jen WritesJune 16, 2009
Another reason I love my sister…
…because she sends me notes like this in the mail. The real mail. The post-man-or-woman-walks-up-to-your-house mail. Not the virtual mail. Those count too. But these are extra special. Oh, and if you can’t read the handwriting, too bad. Mine is virtually the same, so I have no trouble making it out. And, this was truly meant for my eyes, not yours. So consider yourself extra special, too! If you can read it, all the better! Jen: I hope this is okay to share. I’m assuming you’d tell me otherwise. [smiles]
Read More in Best of 2009, Jen Writes, Sarah Writes, Sarah's FavoritesJune 12, 2009
Bad Mothers, Good Mothers, Really?
Today’s post started as a comment to the article Just Sayin’ – Is “bad” parenting in? I heard it in the car on the way to work and immediately called Jen, who should have been in the car, on the way to work, and she was, but she didn’t answer the phone because she was in the dead zone (topic for an entirely different post). I hate it when she’s in the dead zone and so I left a message. And here we are now, hours later and thinking about this article and all that it means, how it can [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, Sarah WritesJune 10, 2009
Haves and Have Nots
I have three sleeping children. I have not read the local newspaper, which we have delivered daily, in at least two weeks. I have a knot in my upper back/neck region that is making it painful to type. I have not cleaned the bathrooms in a week. (They could easily benefit from a sponge daily.) I have a wonderful friend who has agreed to take care of my three children (and her own daughter) so that I can go out to lunch with another adult on Saturday. I have not called back my roommate from college who called me on [...]
Read More in Jen WritesReally. How do I? Any suggestions out there? Here’s how it went tonight: B struggles into shower. Emphasis on struggles. Loud struggles. S into jammies. Em into jammies. Me into jammies. Estimated elapsed time: 20 minutes. Not bad! B washed and removed from shower. B in jammies. Books selected by children. Bedtime water retrieved by me. Stuffed friends found by me. Estimated elapsed time: 20 more minutes. Are we really on track here? Reading of four stories (two each) B to bathroom S to turn on lullabyes Story told by me with Em trying to nurse lying beside me on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, siblings, sleep, UncategorizedJune 2, 2009
Why It Shouldn’t Have Worked
When J and I started dating: We worked together He was (I thought) unavailable I had never been in a serious relationship with a man Within weeks I moved two hours away (to enroll in one of my unfinished graduate programs) We were (still are!) 13 years apart in age But here we are, almost 11 years later. I’ve known him for nearly 13 years, and I can’t imagine my life without him. Cliched? Yes. But true, I’m happy to say. Tonight, as we walked along the bike path, with our three children—two on their bikes and one in a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, UncategorizedMay 30, 2009
Photo Gallery: Laundry Treasures
I thought I would share with you all a few of the items I recently have found while doing laundry. All items were recovered from the clothing of my two oldest children, ages 3 and 5. Introducing, in no particular order, pocket contents: 1. These are from a preschool “project” that B didn’t complete in the classroom but insisted he needed to finish said project at home. Early sign of kleptomania? 2. Goodies from an Easter party we attended. But what happened to the two matching barrettes? If I tell S that I found these, tears will be shed for [...]
Read More in home, housework, Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, three kids, UncategorizedMay 26, 2009
101 Things About Jen, by Jen
After Sarah posted 101 things about herself, I had little choice to do the same. So here goes: 1. I’m not quite 5-feet-10 2. When I was a kid I fell asleep to my mother playing the piano 3. I am very specific about my pillow. I don’t like to share it. 4. I take my earrings off at the end of the day and leave them all over the house 5. I drive 75 minutes to and from work 6. I don’t drive a minivan (yet)* 7. J and I are the same height and have the same shoe [...]
Read More in Jen WritesMay 23, 2009
The Three Popsicle Day
We don’t go on too many weekend family outings, because on the days that I am home, J works (and vice versa). So this morning, when I was standing in the center of our little town at 9:56 a.m. and it was clear that the Memorial Day parade was not today (and, probably, in fact would be on Memorial Day) I couldn’t just stomp my feet, scream in frustration and run to the nearest bookstore to deal. Nope. It was just me. And three kids. (One of whom I HAD WOKEN FROM HER MORNING NAP TO GET HERE.) In perfect [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, three kidsMay 21, 2009
Another post about how tired I am
Sleep deprivation. Is seriously. Seriously. Difficult. And I’m supposed to FUNCTION as a reasonable human being. A parent. A MOTHER. But my kids. Won’t. Let. Me. Sleep. My mom says this won’t last forever. In fact, it will only be a FEW. MORE. YEARS. But, oh, how am I ever going to make it? The past few nights, Em, who has been teething and teething and has nothing to show for it, has not slept. That is, not unless she is on top of me. On top of my chest. She is 20 pounds. And very squirmy. With very sharp [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsMay 17, 2009
Sometimes the best friends sneak up on you
This is a bit of a complimentary post to two previous posts about making friends with other moms. Back track if you’d like, or just start here. And then there are those wonderful women I have become friends with since I’ve had kids. A few I have met because our kids were in the same preschool class. And the kids became buddies. And so we moms hung out after school while they played. And we clicked. And not only that, we actually liked each other. And each other’s kids. And, could it be?, each other’s spouses! Or the friend I [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMay 16, 2009
My take on making new friends with other moms
Sarah, I totally hear you. It is HARD to make friends with other moms. And the park scene can be tough. And the women you were friends with before you had kids? Yeah, that’s tough, too. Because, let’s face it, motherhood is, arguably, the most life-changing transformation for a woman. And if your pre-kid friends haven’t had kids yet or if one of you has, oh, say one kid and the other of you has, oh, say THREE, you probably haven’t kept up with those girlfriends. Life has just changed too much to be chatting about office gossip or current [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 16, 2009
My Brain is Like the Surface of My Desk
OK people. I’ve been writing and writing and writing, and nothing is coming together. Maybe it’s because every surface in my house looks like this: Or maybe it’s because my sister and I are actually in the same house today, which means that there are SIX kids surrounding us. Which means: Revolving naps. Constant snacks. Crying kids. Slamming doors. And I am trying to write some post that has a LASTING message. Sorry oh you faithful readers (whom we LOVE), it ain’t gonna happen today. I can’t get it done. It’s too loud and crazy here. Plus, Sarah’s about to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kids (six kids)May 13, 2009
Why Am I Not Sleeping?
Maybe if I still had a favorite stuffed animal (like B’s good friend Theo, here) I would have the discipline to turn off the computer and go to sleep.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sleepMay 12, 2009
And why three is enough, for this body
Just as having a third child was perfect for our family, having a fourth would be selfish. On my part. I would parent more children, welcome them into our family if circumstances led to that, but I will not have another baby. Not through this body. Pregnancy and I are not the best of friends. One year ago I was four months pregnant and just coming off of months of hyperemesis gravidarum (not unlike my previous two pregnancies). In a word: miserable. I spent every day curled up in bed and curled up on the bathroom floor. HG, for me, [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 12, 2009
Tractor Masterpiece
Try not to focus on the melting frosting. I am especially proud of the hay bale cupcakes, thank you very much.
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest childMay 12, 2009
Tractor Lust
Read More in Jen Writes, oldest child
Dear Jen, I put this in an email. A reply to your 5:35 message. I typed it all out and almost hit send, but thought it better to post it here, where we ARE free, where we CAN be. Where I feel our bond most strong, most clear, and most alive.I love you!Sarah omg i wishi couldsteal you awayand the kidsi’d take them tooand we could all go to a retreatin the woodswith a high energy sitter who happens to drive a tractorand keeps backhoes and bulldozers handy for serious excavationand the kids could dig a tunnelor 200and create a [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, Favorites, home, Jen Writes, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids, unpaid work, writingMay 9, 2009
Home is Where We Muddle Through
We’ve lived in this house for almost four years; moved in two months before our second was born. In fact, the past two times I’ve moved I’ve been seven months pregnant. When I was pregnant with our third, several of our friends asked us if we’d be moving. Uh, no way, not again! But the question was a valid one. This is a small house. The messes are large. The dirt is abundant. Some days I feel like the clutter is endangering our very well-being. But no, we would not be moving. When we moved in it was summer. The [...]
Read More in home, housework, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid workWith every milestone I find myself looking back, usually wondering HOW did we ever get HERE. B is FIVE already? Holy moly, as he would say. What happened? Wasn’t he just born? Weren’t we just nuzzled together on the couch, settled in for one of his marathon nursing sessions? Nope. It’s been five years. And two more kids. And I’m nursing again, but there’s not a whole lot of nuzzling this time. More like refereeing from the sidelines, breaking up fights between B and S while trying to get a meal in for E. (As I watch the basketball playoffs [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kids, writingMay 3, 2009
"So You Had a Third."
This statement came to me at B’s b’day party, and I can’t stop thinking about it. A mom of two, whom I don’t know well, just walked right up and said it. What all those other folks seem to be thinking, although with more of a question mark/exclamation mark sound. “Yes,” I said. “We did.” Turns out she wants more children. I’ve only had one other person ask me straight out what it’s like to have three. The rest of the time I feel like I’m the anomaly in the town. Even though I can give you plenty of examples [...]
Read More in body image, exercise, Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, sex, sleep, three kidsMay 1, 2009
Pumping In Style
That’s me. In the storage room. With my Lansinoh and my bra unhooked and hanging down to where my abs used to be. Twenty minutes holding cones up to my breasts and staring at my soggy middle. Yup, Em stayed at home today. I have never been a good pumper. Those little bottles and bags never even come close to filling up. My babies, on the other hand, obviously have reaped the benefits of plenty of breast milk calories. We used to call our oldest “rubber band man” because of the rolls of fat around his wrists (and everywhere else). [...]
Read More in fatherhood, Jen Writes, paid work, siblings, three kids, youngest childApril 27, 2009
Fair weather parenting
The sun has been shining. Oh, glorious warm days. And with the rising temperatures have gone the windows. Storms up. Screens down. All of a sudden, the goings on inside my house are public. We live in a neighborhood that is close to ideal. Stop for a minute. Picture “neighborhood.” Yup. That’s us. Cute little town. Sidewalks. Diner and hardware store within walking distance. Fenced-in yards that kids cut through to get home from school. On a warm spring night like this one I can hear not only the familiar dogs but people grilling in the apartments across the street, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sleep, three kidsApril 25, 2009
What I Learned Today
Swiss meringue buttercream frosting and 90-degree weather do not jibe. Kids don’t give a sh*t about the drippy frosting. Or the fact that it was too windy to light the candles. They just want the hay-bale cupcakes. You can carve a cake with the non-spoon end of a plastic spoon! Pinatas are more sturdy than they look. You can get sunburned in April. When the cooler is empty of drinks, the ice cubes offer great entertainment (and cooling) value. No matter what, birthday parties are stressful. On the mom, but also on the kid. But they are also just about [...]
Read More in birthday, Favorites, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsApril 18, 2009
Oh Brother, How Art Thou? and other philosophical ramblings
It seems time to mention that we have a brother. Oh, and, yeah, he has three kids, too. What is this? you’re asking yourself. Three siblings each with three children now. Weird. Is it, though? Seems like nice symmetry to me. And we really didn’t plan on it. No sirree. Our brother is the middle child. I suspect he felt and/or tried to be invisible for much of his childhood. Sarah and I, well, we tended to have the attention. Me being the perfect, overachieving oldest, and Sarah being the rule-breaking, boundary-ignoring, creative genius youngest. There was our brother, smack [...]
Read More in exercise, health, Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, three kids, youngest childApril 14, 2009
Thanking my lucky springtime stars
My sweetie always says, “You don’t have to look far to find someone who is worse off than yourself.” Lately, this statement has been proven correct almost daily. It’s spring. Finally. The season of birth. Renewal. My brain even feels it. I am more relaxed. The messy house no longer seems like it’s doomed to forever be covered in hats, mittens, coats, boots. The kids can go outside to dig in the dirt, play with their trucks, ride their bikes. There are sidewalk chalk “drawings” on the house siding. Phew. It’s been a long time coming, this kid-friendly season. And [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid work, youngest childApril 13, 2009
My last baby
My youngest is six months old. She is my calmest baby. And she will be my last. Saying this brings with it much relief and a strange sadness. I so desperately wanted a third child. Within minutes of the birth of my second I knew I didn’t want to be finished just yet. And I wondered and worried for more than two years until J and I decided we were meant to have another. Deciding to have a child is such a powerful and yet naive action. Now I know that I cannot go through another pregnancy. The longing for [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, three kids, youngest childApril 12, 2009
How many nights can I go without real sleep?
J is upstairs putting the big kids to bed. Em is lying on the couch beside me, playing. I am as tired as I ever have been. Too tired to be writing this post with any hope of making a point. The past four or five nights (I have lost track) have been very long and not very full of sleep. As a result, I have slowed down. Internally. It is as if I can feel my heart beating slower. As if my blood is thicker. And my brain. My brain is just barely functioning at all. It is, in [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsApril 12, 2009
Easter playlist, by my Sweetie
Gods will be Gods—Echo and the Bunnymen Death Came a Knockin—The Duhks Nobody Does me Like Jesus—Ollabelle I Am Waiting No More My Lord—Ollabelle Someday the Sun Won’t Shine for You—Jethro Tull Easter—Patti Smith Group New Beginning—Tracy Chapman The Gospel—The Dandy Warhols Pilot Can at the Queer of God—The Flaming Lips Return of the Grievous Angel (and We’ll Sweep Out the Ashes in the Morning)—Gram Parsons
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhoodApril 10, 2009
Letter to my sister
Dear Sarah, I feel I already have failed you. Wasn’t I the one who volunteered to write the next post? Yesterday. After we agreed to a daily presence? Allow me to explain. Well, I arrived home to a sick kid and the fallout of a SICK KID. And it was dinner time. Need I say more? The night promised to be a long one. And then, today. It is not yet 10:00 a.m. Here is what I have done—in no particular order. (That would be too much to ask of my fatigued brain.) Three loads of laundry (one hanging on [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workMarch 26, 2009
Connections
I’ve been making all of our family’s bread now for several months. I try new recipes as I continue to abide by the old favorites. And recently I’ve become hooked on the “no knead” method. Which basically means that you let time do the work of kneading. Which means that for a day or so you have a mushy lump of wet dough hanging out in a bowl on your kitchen counter. It’s covered in plastic wrap, but still, every time I see it I think, “That looks like my post-pregnancy stomach.” ICK. Unfortunately, I cannot adopt the wait-it-out method [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 22, 2009
In sickness and in …
With five in the family, I am learning, someone always is sick (or injured). Since December members of my family have logged two ear infections; a jaw infection; a round of the stomach bug that included every single combination of typical symptoms that you can think of and took more than two weeks to make the full rounds of the family; endless colds; back strain due to work injury; and neck strain due to sleeping beside an infant (guess who on that one). Oh, and surgery (and it’s preceding symptoms and recovery time), the heart patient living amongst us and [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 19, 2009
Overcoming fear
Tonight I put on clean pajamas. And I know, that it’s a guarantee that I will be spit up on. Very soon. But these clean jammies sure feel good. Hey, my body’s even pretty clean, too. The thing is, there are days that I feel threatened by the laundry. There always are piles of dirty laundry. And often there are baskets full of folded laundry yet to be put away and clothes hanging to dry from the shower racks. And then there are the clothes on the bodies of my children, which are kept clean for approximately 2.5 seconds after [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workMarch 17, 2009
Wine with dinner makes me philosophical
At the end of two days at the office I am so glad to be home and to know that I don’t have to get up and out tomorrow. I can be with my family. At the end of a day with my kids I am so overcome with exasperation that I can’t believe I looked forward to such a day. I try to be grateful for every moment with my children. And of course I am, ultimately. But as the moments are happening, so often filled with whining, talking back, protests, refusals, I find myself wondering how, and why, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, sleep, three kidsMarch 13, 2009
Whose idea was this anyway?
What was I thinking? Three children? I wasn’t, not rationally anyway. But the thing is, it’s easy to blame the mayhem on number of children. How many times have I heard about how things change when the parents are outnumbered? The comment about zone defense. (Really, it’s not so much the defensive skills that need to be polished as the offensive; but more about that another time.) But wasn’t it just as out of control when there were only two? After all, the third is only five months old. Yes, it’s not so much the children as everything else. Oh [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids