In the spirit of Six Word Friday— An introduction to a longer piece: We are thrilled to welcome GG Our mother, who has blogged before And who requested this “listening” day When we shared our topic ideas. We hope you enjoy her words (They made us weepy. And grateful.) I am a sucker for a good movie musical. I’ve seen The Sound of Music more times than I can count, and I still get goose bumps watching Julie Andrews twirl on the mountaintop and belt out “The Hills Are Alive.” And then there was West Side Story. Saw that one [...]
Read More in GG Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 27, 2012
Listening
April 26, 2012
Age
Shortly after her older sister and brother begin music lessons, my 3-year-old daughter asked when she can start guitar lessons. There’s simply no written translation that does justice to her 3-year-old dialect. If only I had a sound byte to share. Her dad and I told her she has to be 7 or 8 before she can take lessons. She knows we have a number of guitars in the house already and I know she’s smart enough to challenge us and, I wouldn’t be surprised, succeed at a quick melodic riff. But she didn’t challenge us directly. She stood before [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childApril 10, 2012
Today. Tuesday.
I’m starting to have tiny panic attacks about Five for Five. We don’t have a button. We haven’t announced topics. When will I write? Read? Comment? Life is so incredibly busy. Last night I slept for 10 straight hours, and while I didn’t exactly wake up tired, I’d nap today if I had the time. I’m happy and yet I want more. My children are strong and bright and talented and funny. They have friends and activities that challenge them and keep them busy. They are curious and stubborn all at once. I want them to grow up healthy and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, parenthood, sleep, special occasions, three kids, work, writingMarch 18, 2012
(Be)longing [still]
For the past several days I’ve been trying to write a blog post. I kept getting stuck, so I took a few minutes to peruse the Momalom archives. Along the way I found that I’d already written what I’ve been trying to write. This post was originally published in December 2009. Was I lying when I wrote about not apologizing for my dreams? Because I haven’t been doing much to further those dreams lately. I have been composing only in my head. At night. Long after everyone else in the house is asleep. Or I have been jotting down notes [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, repost, three kids, writingJanuary 20, 2012
Processing
Too many words Too little time Instead of progress There is procrastination Waiting for opportunity Accepting the impossible Creativity and mothering: Stop and go
Read More in motherhood, three kids, writingDecember 29, 2011
Repost: Letter redux
I first published the letter below last January, at the outset of 2011. As I re-read it tonight I felt sad and empty with the realization that a few short months after I wrote those words, I lost that self for a time. I should elaborate. But what’s most important is that I’m back now. My better self found. Or I’m here again: In this place, thinking about the living that happens beyond the writing. So much has changed this past year. And yet what is important is so fully the same. The people with whom I share this life, [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, repost, three kids, writingNovember 20, 2011
One + one = Quality time
“Hey, B,” I ask. “So do you want to go to the pool?” It’s so beautiful out (Almost 60 degrees! In November!) that I half feel like I shouldn’t suggest an indoor activity. But yesterday after swim lessons my son asked if we could go to free swim soon. And with a 3-year-old with a broken ankle I didn’t think the answer would be yes. But now the 3-year-old and her older sister are playing together at a friend’s house, and my boy and I have an hour or so to spend alone. I say no so very often to [...]
Read More in exercise, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 12, 2011
On formative experiences, past and present.
A weekend of friends. A sunburn. Conversation. Camaraderie. Picture taking. A dinner. A brunch. A row. Reminiscing. Reunions can be fraught with the unknown. With vanity that rears its ugly head, pointing out my too-long, uncut hair. My unfit middle. My dry, blotchy skin and tired eyes. Vanity can hold me back, grip me in the chest. Make me want to be invisible. But you can’t have the full experience and be invisible. You have to risk being the most wrinkly, most tired-looking, most frazzled, nervous person in the room (or at the boathouse, as it were). You have to [...]
Read More in body image, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, special occasions, three kidsOctober 18, 2011
Incomplete
I’ve taken a little time off from writing. It’s been about 10 days. But it seems much longer. I’ve wanted to hit the keyboard for a few days. Now that I’m here, though, I feel klunky. I don’t know where to start. It’s not that I haven’t had time to sit and write. That’s not a new barrier to my output. And it’s not that I haven’t had anything to write about. Finding ideas is not a stumbling block for me. It’s that I needed to do more than Just Write. I needed to process. I needed to focus on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingOctober 7, 2011
From patient to mother: A birth story
It’s likely my life was saved by my obstetrician. There I was, heading blithely to his office for my regular check up–weekly now. I was wearing my favorite blue linen maternity pants, even though it wasn’t quite warm enough for them. It was my first official day of leave from work. A Tuesday. I was looking forward to a few weeks at home. Folding onesies, reading baby books, finally settling on a name for our son. Seven words—and my doctor’s eyes fixed on mine—changed my life forever: “You’re going to have this baby today.” These were the days before Sweetie [...]
Read More in health, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 20, 2011
Just Write: In which the critic gets beaten down and the words begin to flow
Just write. Sure. Easier said than done. The inner critic is almost as loud as the children, forever in the background. Forever leaving the background to enter my space. Here. Now. Right now. Just write. Fill the white space with your words. My words. The writer writes. The words must come. You cannot wait for the right words or the right time or the right place. You have to demand them now. Frequently. Always. Every day. Every minute. The more you demand them, the easier it is to see them flow from your fingers. Yes. Flow! Right onto the screen. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingSeptember 7, 2011
Eye level
I didn’t get teary eyed at kindergarten drop-off yesterday. My middle child wearing her too-heavy backpack let go of my hand and headed straight into her new classroom for her first day. She paused for a moment in front of one of her new classmates (in tears) until one of the teachers swooped in, bending down to my nearly 6-year-old’s eye level. Then I paused for a moment, wishing I could be a fly on a the wall of this classroom–the same one my now second-grader started his own school career in. But before I completed the thought I turned [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsAugust 3, 2011
Everyday. Dreaming.
This morning I have done laundry. And dishes. I have considered the merits of sweeping the floor before lunch. I have gone upstairs to find “my big piggy, mama!” I have given my 2-year-old a big bowl of cherries and helped her wash her face and hands. I have listened to the Wiggles, whose grating voices blare from the red toy guitar that always seems to reappear from the latest place I’ve hidden it. I have had my coffee, and a handful of Ritz crackers. Returned emails. Read the paper. Finished a book. Found a missing sneaker. This was not [...]
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 10, 2011
10 minutes on a Sunday morning
Sunday morning, and the day stretches out before me in that proverbial way a day does when there’s nothing planned and only one parent home and three kids walking aimlessly through the house. Run-on sentences fill my head. There are the things that I could do: Laundry. Dishes. Get down on the floor and play with the kids. There are the things that I want to do: Sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and gaze up at the trees. Watch the cardinal couple flirting. Prepare for the day by preparing words for the page. There are the [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 8, 2011
Line
Every day I walk the line Mother, partner, Mommy, sister, Mama, daughter Writer, 10 minutes for my words. Every day the line bends unexpectedly bringing one me to the front responding, nurturing, listening. Welcoming all ideas. Every day—surprised by the line, I watch as my varied selves exist together, filling me with inspiration. Every day the line of my pen becomes bolder as my lives unite, begging words to find the page.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingMay 31, 2011
Choreography
Last weekend, my oldest daughter and forever middle child had her first full-length ballet recital. I cried. (Of course.) She didn’t. She flitted onstage and off, fully embracing her butterfly role. Oh the pride. To see her up there in her blue flowing dress, flowers in her tightly wound orange hair. To see the older dancers and remember my own years on stage. I had to hold back. I had to stop from thinking about myself. About my own childhood. Adolescence. About all that I wanted to accomplish and haven’t yet. About all that I have accomplished—love, a life together, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsMay 23, 2011
love wraps
I left the dinner table. Again. See what you did? You made mommy leave. ___ Daniel is working late tonight. Late again. Late nearly every night. So we eat kid food for dinner, perch on the couch cushions cupping bowls of cereal, stop for Chinese at Triple Star, snack on pint-sized bags of Frito-Lays. But not tonight.. ___ What do you want to eat? I’m gonna cook. How about Sloppy Joe’s? Uhn-uhh. Tacos? YEAH, sure, Tacos! (thought pause) You know why I made a face at the Sloppy Joe’s, mom? It’s not because I don’t like them, it’s just because [...]
Read More in motherhood, siblings, three kidsI intended to get all up on my Poetry-Kicks-Ass high horse last month. You know, during NATIONAL POETRY MONTH. Somehow, the month completely got away from me. Then, this morning, I was listening to a CD of Billy Collins reading his own poetry. (Have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy the public library and the treasures that I find there?) Many of the poems Collins read I have read. Over and over. I own all but his most recent volume of poetry. But to hear a poem read in the voice of its author is such a gift. I [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 8, 2011
For GG on Mother’s Day
Two Sundays ago it was GG’s birthday. And I wanted to write a tribute to her, much in the way that Sarah did last year. But this year (and, to my surprise, for the first time in her life) my mom shared her birthday with Easter, and so the time I would have liked to spend on the tribute was spent in the company of the Easter Bunny. And now it’s Mother’s Day. And I started writing this post a week ago, trying to grasp the next chance to pay tribute to the remarkable woman who is my mother. And [...]
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 5, 2011
Wheels turning
I get in the car and start driving And my brain awakens to the ideas it’s been holding back Amidst the morning needs of getting out the door Helping to get others out the door. I drive and I think and my awakened synapses fire (is that the terminology? is that the science of it?) Ideas come from every direction demanding my attention And I try to keep my focus on the road Without losing sight of the creativity that sustains me That demands my time and my dedication and my patience The same needs that so often are taken [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingApril 22, 2011
A quick (six) words about blessings.
Here I am, day after seven. A healthy son. Two healthy daughters. Three gifts. Blessings all. Milestones aplenty. Mothering has made me stronger. Bolder. And much less apologetic about myself. I count my blessings every day. Find more Six Words, or join in on the fun, at makingthingsup.com.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 20, 2011
A day older. A year older.
Seven years ago this very minute I was six hours from giving birth. I didn’t know that, of course. The unknowns of labor are just the beginning of all of the unknowns of motherhood. I remember the moment my son slid from my body. In an instant I can transport myself right back to that room and relive that miracle, just as I can do for the births of my daughters. But, oh, that first time. It is a brand-new kind of magic. And as I lie on my own bed tonight, thinking back to that early morning of my [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest childAs I sat in the waiting room of my daughter’s ballet school a few months ago I perused a magazine uninterrupted. And I came across a quote that I read over and over again. I am so grateful for moments such as these. In this case, an article about the actress Diane Lane offered me unexpected clarity. Here’s the gem that sparkled before me and that I wrote down, nodding all the way: “Being in a relationship makes it impossible to avoid yourself. … It may not always make me comfortable but it sure has made me a better person. [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingMarch 25, 2011
A disturbing realization.
I go to the supermarket. Again. I walk quickly down the aisles, not seeing what is really there. Only what I buy every trip. Fruit, cheese, eggs, milk, tortillas, salsa. I know there is more here but I can’t spare a moment to see the variety. Different options. There is just never enough time. How is it that the supermarket is now a metaphor for motherhood?
Read More in chores, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsFebruary 13, 2011
Glimpses
I catch them more often these days: A 10-year-old boy in the library, curled up reading, oblivious to the children (three of them mine) playing and running around him. A mother dropping off her children–all of them–at school in the morning and getting back into her minivan. Alone. My son on a playdate that lasts through dinner. The changes and growth of children–all children–are suddenly more at the center of my vision. I see other families whose childrens’ lives are starting to take on their own directions. I spend (a little) more time with just a subset of all of [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsJanuary 28, 2011
Long night. Saved by a smile.
Most nights my daughter sleeps alone. But when we are at Geege’s the girls sleep in one room and the boys in the other. *** Sharing a bed with my toddler in no way leaves me feeling refreshed when I awake beside her. A night of kicks, loud sighs (hers and mine). Stuffed animals everywhere. I am sore and tired. Grumpy. *** Her grin and dark eyes save her* (and me) when the sun comes up.* And after last night, I’m grateful that at home we sleep independently. * Clearly I am tired, as I apparently lost my ability to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, youngest childJanuary 24, 2011
Looking back. Then, looking ahead.
I write less specifically these days about THE three kids. Those three kids that inspired my part of the header. Life. With three kids. I’m in it deeper now. Three is my every day. And the shape of my family informs every part of my day, many of my thoughts, much of my planning ahead. But it’s less inspiring, somehow. It’s there, but it’s not the only focus. It’s just the way it is. As a woman I met recently put it, “Three is the new two.” Yes, I thought, both at the time and since. Yes. It is. Three [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 22, 2011
A letter to my (future) self.
Dear Self, I like you these days. This you that is less concerned with the things that don’t matter too much—like the state of the floor, clothes strewn, toys scattered. Or the unmade beds and unwashed children. (Are you sensing a trend, self?) I like you. I like your kindness these days. Your more lighthearted self. There is so much that is difficult, namely finances and mothering—knowing what is right and being able to do right by your family. The other stuff—the messy house, the extra five pounds, the hair that grows increasingly longer down your back, the missed PTO [...]
Read More in chores, housework, Jen Writes, motherhoodJanuary 10, 2011
Mark all as Read
If life were like Google Reader, I’d click on a box and move forward. Maybe I’d wonder about all of the content and news I’d just effectively dismissed, but I’d be confident knowing that soon there would be more more more, and that I could–if not pick up where I’d left off–find my place again. A list looms in the back of my mind of all of the things I wanted to do during the holidays–make my mustard (how can a holiday season go by without my kitchen full of canning jars, the scent of Guinness making the house smell [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingDecember 17, 2010
For Cara. And her sweet Squeaky.
Happiness is an old friendship renewed with the birth of her daughter. Motherhood reuniting us. An unlikely scenario it once seemed. And now. Happiness. As we talk on the phone for the second time in weeks (and the third time in years) I hear in her lilting voice in the words rapidly spilling out the love, the wonder, the joy the happiness for that new life the life of her sweet daughter and for her journey into motherhood. Welcome to the world darling girl I can’t wait to meet you and to see your mama again. It’s Six Word Friday, [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsDecember 10, 2010
Gifted: Riches where there aren’t any.
This year: More frugal than ever penny pinching, stretching resources, being creative. It’s difficult to have the confidence that these three children of ours aren’t seeing the stressors. They aren’t. I know they aren’t. But. But there is so much more. Much more that I wish I could give. Not only from their wish lists but in experiences, too. Next year, I tell myself. Next year, definitely. Meanwhile, this year: Frugal, yes. Also a trip to Colorado! Thirty hours in the van. Five of us! My bank account is paltry. But. But the riches of my life? Abound. A road [...]
Read More in Dad, holidays, Jen Writes, motherhood, siblings, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids)December 8, 2010
What is it about wispy ponytails and braids?
It’s December. Which means we’ve decided to post Momalom in Pictures. But sometimes a little text is nice, too. Here’s a blast from the past, if you’re so inclined.
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kids, youngest childDecember 6, 2010
I miss swimsuit season.
We’ve established December Momalom in Pictures month. But if you’re looking for more than just a photo of a little girl with a swimsuit on her head, check out this post (a poem, in fact!) that Sarah and I wrote together last spring. I think it’s safe to say that we still feel the same way.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhoodNovember 29, 2010
Bedtime again. Only a little different tonight.
Tonight I started to scold my son for the pile of clothes on his bedroom floor when I realized I just didn’t have the energy. Also. I didn’t want to say the same thing I always say. It obviously doesn’t work. (The clothes are still there. Always there.) Also. I hadn’t seen my sweet-faced boy all day. So instead of remarking on the inside-out pants and wadded up socks, I started talking in an accent of sorts. This is not my strength, and I think I sounded like a cross between a vampire with a speech impediment and the grand [...]
Read More in boys, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest childNovember 18, 2010
This is My Life: Built-in Landscaping Services
This photo, taken five years ago, makes me !!! (and a little bit sad, too, but I’m focusing on the intentional happiness theme today). Tell us what makes you !!!
Read More in !!!, boys, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 15, 2010
Learning in the quiet
I curled up on my son’s bed beside him in the dark at the end of this long Monday. In the quiet in the dark I listened to his breathing, tried hard not to comment on his squirming. And then out of the silence he began to talk. The things he revealed to me were not responses to questions I asked. I wouldn’t have known to ask about these things: facts worries ideas questions of his own that fill his mind. We snuggled together under his warm blankets and I tried to say as little as possible as I answered [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 11, 2010
!!! in goodbyes
This is a photo of my Sweetie. The adult in this world who makes me !!! (and not just on Thursdays). I know. You can’t see him. He prefers it that way. (Winking at you, Sweets.) But there’s more !!! in this photo, too, even though part of it is bittersweet to me. Our son took this picture with his own camera one morning last spring (by the looks of the purple blooms) as he was undoubtedly waving goodbye to his dad, who was on his way to work. We have this waving ritual. Whoever is leaving for work that [...]
Read More in !!!, fatherhood, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kidsNovember 5, 2010
Change happens when I’m not watching
Embracing motherhood has meant, for me, That in every moment, every day (if i just open my eyes and allow myself to see it) change is everywhere: growth, moods, needs. And when I feel most lost or ready to jump and cry throw up my hands and scream A lesson is learned. A hurdle scaled. A child surprises us both. It’s Six Word Fridays! For more, visit Making Things Up.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsNovember 3, 2010
Coming to terms again and again
I have come to the realization that I believed that when my childbearing days were over I’d step out of one world and into another. From the world of emerging parent to that of established parent. It has taken me some time to come to terms with the reality that Sweetie and I have (only? exactly? ) three children. That we are blessed to have three children. And. And that there will not be more. But then, everyone else keeps having babies. Friends new and old. Neighbors. Co-workers. So many of the people that I see and talk to daily [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 31, 2010
Halloween comes around every year
It’s cold! My SPY, PRINCESS and TRAIN CONDUCTOR are going to be very chilly tonight during the Rag Shag Parade and subsequent trick or treating. At last I’ll be having that age-old struggle with my children, who up until now have experienced Halloween nights that have been mild. We’ll no doubt be fighting about how many layers of winter coat, hat and mittens will ruin the costumes by covering them up. THAT is my foremost Halloween memory, after all. Well, that and the year that Sarah and I won a prize in the parade in our little hometown. I was [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 26, 2010
Saturday night out of the house and in my head
In the theater with a gorgeous, detailed ceiling painted in warm shades of brown, gold, red. In the theater with friends old and new and in between. In the theater on a Saturday night without kids. In the theater. The stage. The lights. The crowd of people around. Out after dark. I sit. I watch. I listen. I sing along. I think of the children then try not to think of them. This is my night. Our night. Without them. They are at a sleepover at their aunt’s house. They are fine. Oh, but they would love this. The oldest [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writing, youngest childOctober 22, 2010
Six weeks into school year means:
“Rubby” noses, Congestion, Exhaustion, Crabiness. ENOUGH. What have you had enough of? Join Six Word Friday at Making Things Up.
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 17, 2010
For my ever-handsome boy
It was bound to happen. A trip to the emergency room. This time, the first time, with a boy. A boy who was on his scooter. And then, on the ground. A bleeding gash on his chin. A quiet ride to the hospital. Nurses. A doctor. Questions. Lots of sitting still. Stitches. Bandages. This boy of mine, this 6-year-old boy, so good in an emergency, held it together better than most adults. After the initial shock. After the bleeding had been slowed. After it was determined that, yes, this was it. This would be the FIRST trip to the ER. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsOctober 12, 2010
This is my Life: Baby Fever
Still life with naked babies At last count, there were more than 30 baby dolls in my house. I honestly don’t know how we got to this point or why all of them are naked. But so it is, and I offer you a sampling of their names: Po Po Baby Noisy New Baby Sunny Moony Rocky (perhaps we should formally introduce Jamis to Baby Rocky?) Flower Big Baby (not to be confused with Celtics player #11) Corey Wilco Baby Sister Baby Brother Harper Vanessa Panessa
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 10, 2010
Bare
A few nights ago* I awoke to the shrill sound of my baby yelling “Mama!” Screaming. For me. Her dad went up. She quieted. He came back down after a bit. She started again to scream. For me. I have been on bedtime duty more nights than not due to Sweetie’s work schedule, and he was trying to give me the night off. But E got out of her bed, and we heard the soft yet solid sound of her feet pitter patter across the floor above our heads. We heard the slight rattle of the gate at her bedroom [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsOctober 8, 2010
Fantasy: The small and the grand
Painted walls (without fingerprints, smudges, dents). Absence of piles (clothes, books, papers). Quiet after dark. Through till morning. Also, novel completed, published, read. Acclaimed?
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, writingSeptember 30, 2010
Another girl’s birthday.
I’m tired, oh so tired. And I write that knowing that I’ve written so many times before about sleep, and how I don’t get enough.* So today, on Intentional Happiness day, I am keeping it simple. I am happy for my daughter, 5 years old yesterday. Somehow, she looks different to me now. Older. Wiser. More of a kid than a child, if that makes any sense to anyone other than me. And I am grateful for who she is and what she brings to our family. I am happy for her patience and her slow consideration of every option [...]
Read More in !!!, birthday, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 24, 2010
She already has her own baby. (But she’ll always be my baby.)
Tomorrow will be two years. TWO! Since you arrived in our lives to complete our family. Our world. I cannot imagine: family of four; A day without your face, scrunched, eyes wide, teeth together; sweet kisses juicy and open-mouthed; siblings surrounding you, protecting you, playing with you. Laughing. How is it that you already Are two. How is it that, already, you say you are three. Please. Take tomorrow to stop growing. One day. Sing “happy birthday me.” While I pause, get choked up Not able to fathom one bit A life without you in it. For more Six Word [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, youngest childSeptember 22, 2010
Making the most of things
Today I ran out of gas. For which I have no excuse–other than my poor math skills–gas lights being what they are in modern vehicles. While I made a rescue-request call to Sweetie, who was working less than a mile away, my girls laughed at me. When I hung up the phone, I laughed, too. It was kind of funny. And we were safe. And close to home. We could easily have walked home or to a nearby gas station. But while we waited for Daddy’s Roadside Service, the girls entertained each other in our cavernous minivan (E didn’t even [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, siblings, sisters, three kidsSeptember 19, 2010
“Son, when can you ever stop asking me questions?”
I have come to dread a certain kind of question, inevitably posed by my oldest—my 6-year-old impatient inquisitive son. I offer a recent smattering: “Mom, when can we go to the park?” “Mom, when can you change the batteries in my helicopter?” “Mom, when can you help me find my socks?” “Mom, when can we ever go to the park?” “Mom, when can you change the batteries in my walkie talkie?” “Mom, when can I have a snack?” “Mom, when can I have a playdate with Sam again?” “Mom, when can you help me with my Legos?” “Mom, when can [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 16, 2010
Intentional Happiness Virgin
Until now, Intentional Happiness has been Sarah’s realm. But, well, she’s super busy being the super designer that she is. Just this week, she finished another fabulous site makeover. (Check out Never-True Tales). And, since she’s preparing for her third-annual Reach the Beach roadrelayforcrazypeoplethingy, I offered to share some of my own happiness today. Here goes: My two older kids have cameras, courtesy of GG. They use them frequently. They sneak up on me and click lovely shots (that I could have deleted upon downloading their images, mind you). They do a house-wide study in still life. They take beautiful [...]
Read More in !!!, home, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 14, 2010
From the archives of my life as a mom
Imagine my surprise at finding this little tidbit, written as a part of a writing exercise (I remember…) when I was a mom of (only!) two children. If I have the timing right, my son (now 6) was 2 and my daughter (my only daughter at the time) was 6 months. (She is now rapidly approaching 5.) And so, here it is. A writing exercise. I include it here because it strikes me so profoundly that I feel so much the same now. That almost since day one of becoming a mother, it seems, I have felt exactly this. Exactly [...]
Read More in fatherhood, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writingSeptember 12, 2010
This is My Life: And it’s never all tidy at once
On the second day of school, I spent the morning cleaning my first-grader’s room. Thoroughly. While I was in there, the girls played in their room. Or maybe played isn’t exactly the right word.
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childSeptember 9, 2010
Mama, When is my next ballet class?
Her question floats quietly from the back seat of the minivan As my daughter’s questions always do I piece together the words Recognize the slightly higher than usual pitch of her voice Glance in the mirror and notice her neck stretched forward And I explain that she has to wait until next Saturday Her shoulders slump, her eyes fall Next Saturday is 10 long days away In her first-ever dance lesson My daughter shone Pink tights Soft, leather ballet slippers Orange hair all tied up in a bun not any bigger than a large grape Her purple leotard stretched across [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 6, 2010
Reflections
This morning, I looked up from scrubbing the bathroom sink to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Glasses slipping down my nose. Hair pulled back in a messy bun that highlighted my grey streak. I did a lot of housework today. It feels important to me that B go off to school tomorrow from a clean house. And so there I was, spray bottle in one hand and paper towel in the other, bent over the white pedestal sink wondering if the hardened peanut butter would ever come unglued from the faucet when, wait, there I was. In [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsAugust 27, 2010
Family dinner out at Joe’s Pizza.
Please bring us two ginger ales And one small glass of water That looks like a ginger ale Because this little one sitting here Wants everything her older siblings have. She can’t possibly wait three years. But I’m not ready for soda In the hands of my baby And so I thank you, waitress, For the glass with ice, straw That satisfies my toddler’s need. (And makes dinner out easier, too.)
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, youngest childAugust 24, 2010
Three in a bed
We sleep together A toddler between us And I am happy Her toes at my knees Your toes touching mine And I realize I am good at this now This parenting at night Better than I was when we were in so deep for so long The years of nights stretching out from the long days No guaranteed hours of quiet The resisting being needed The resentment of being needed And now together this rare night of a child between us I lay half asleep rubbing her back listening to you breathe and sigh And I think again I know [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, sleep, three kids, youngest childAugust 22, 2010
“They store up liquids like a water tower.”
“In case we disappear for a few days. Ya know?” Sarah wrote this in an e-mail to me, in response to my continued amazement at the liquid intake of my son. She and I each have a child who consumes copious amounts of liquid. Juice cups are filled and refilled throughout the day. Thermoses are constantly on hand. And while I sincerely hope there is no correlation between their intake of apple juice and water now to the amount of alcohol they ingest in their teen years, it really is remarkable to witness. It’s also extremely irritating. No matter what, [...]
Read More in birthday, health, home, Jen Writes, middle child, mind/body, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childAugust 2, 2010
A Successful Vacation
Today is Monday. Last Monday I was at the “big” library, scouring the shelves for new audiobooks for my big boy. Choosing my “baby’s” first book to be taken out. Advising my 4-year-old on which Madeleine video to select. It was a warm and sunny summer day. Perfect for a trip downtown. A smoothie. A day of whim. For 10 days I enjoyed such whim. I got out of bed—one day early, one day late, the rest at the usual time—and faced each day with no grand plans. It was a vacation in the true sense of the word. Except [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, three kids (six kids)August 1, 2010
Budget Shopping
I am a pro at stretching a dollar, scrimping on the grocery bill, making dinner out of what’s in the cabinets. We wear hand-me overs, hand-me downs and last year’s pants, calling them capris. But sometimes it’s nice to go on a shopping spree. So yesterday, the kids and I hit the dollar store for a few needs and wants. We found something for everyone: 1 hairbrush 1 fabric headband 1 rubber ball 2 hair clips 4 barrettes 4 plastic fighter jets 5 bungee cords 6 sponges 90 miniature Army men Total cost: $10.63 My hair is brushed and out [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJuly 28, 2010
Babydoll on the clothesline
The girls are still asleep The boys, awake I sit at my desk and glance out the window at our green backyard Bubbles of sunlight slipping through the leaves of the lush maple trees floating and settling on the too-long green grass There’s a babydoll on the clothesline because yesterday she got dirty in the sandbox and then my not-yet-2-year-old took her into the bathroom and washed her in the sink How can one child be such a do-er And one of her older siblings be so distraught over doing? I sit and I look outside and I ponder questions [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingJuly 23, 2010
Together (inevitably)
You are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But, listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me. Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and your heart, and heart’s little intelligence, and listen to me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile away and still out of sight, the churn of the [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 3, 2010
Housekeeping
We’re not ungrateful. We’re really really not. But we are frazzled and busy and crazed half the time. And because of these endearing qualities we have neglected to acknowledge three lovely bloggers who recently have bestowed on us awards. AWARDS, people. So, without further ado (ahem, frazzlement), thanks to Maria at Mom of Three Seeks Sanity for The rules ARE these: 1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER! 2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award: (a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sisters, three kidsAplomb. It is one of my favorite words. I remember the exact moment I first encountered it. And was desperate to know its meaning. I was standing on the banks of the Connecticut River. Crew practice had yet to begin, and I had just come from the college post office. I was reading a letter. A letter from a friend at a college hours away. A boy friend. (But not a boyfriend.) A friend of the unrequited angsty, teenage crush variety. We had spent a few years in high school trying to figure out the nature of our relationship, I [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsJune 25, 2010
Goals.
They used to be much bigger. Write novel. Have baby (or three). Now, to do dishes after dinner I feel achievement unlike any other. I want to strive for more.
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJune 21, 2010
Delinquent, but very thankful, me.
Dear Everyone Who Has Given Me or One of My Children a Gift During the Past, Oh, Say, Two-and-a-half Years, Thank you. I meant to write a thank-you note. I really did. In fact, I even drafted one. (In my head.) I used to be really very good at thank-you notes. I am a firm believer in thank-you notes. And yet. Somehow, the thank-you note is one of the things that has fallen by the wayside in this life of mine. This life. Of three kids. But, I am grateful for your generosity. Your thoughtfulness. On holidays. And birthdays. Sometimes, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJune 14, 2010
All-purpose apology note from my 6-year-old
“I am sorry for that” I received this note on Sunday afternoon, amidst the fallout of a meltdown by my 6-year-old son. He’s written notes of apology before, and in the past he has been a bit more specific in describing why he is “sare.” Whether he anticipates using this note again or he just ran out of room on the piece of paper to go into detail, I’m not sure. But the fact that he writes me notes makes my heart swell a bit, even while I am trying to get under control my own emotional reaction to his [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingJune 11, 2010
10 Things That Happen at My House Almost Daily
1. Pee on the floor. 2. Coffee delivered to me from my Sweetie, whether I’m in the shower, changing a diaper or still in bed. 3. All three children yelling for me at the same time. (MomMamaMommy! anyone?) 4. Not getting to the phone in time to hear who’s calling. 5. Snacks prepared by me and consumed by my children. 6. Food on the floor (and the walls). 7. More than one child saying, “I love you, Mom(MamaMommy).” 8. Laughing. 9. Laundry. In some form or another. 10. Possibility: Five people living together. Happily. Humbled.* * This last one here [...]
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJune 8, 2010
Mid-Disaster
Max throws a cup at me and screams “I want juice!” Ethan climbs onto the kitchen counter and stands on his tippy toes, rummaging through the snack bin. Jamis says, “Mom, Mom, did you hear me?” for the third time. And then, “I asked you three times.” Excuse me, I think to myself, doesn’t that make for six requests? For the same thing? The phone rings. I answer it. It’s my husband on the line. He needs something, too. I pull Ethan off the counter and walk out of the kitchen, down the hall, trying to find some quiet to [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesMay 29, 2010
What She Said
The Elmo Wallpaper. Do you know this blog? Do you know this wonderful mom of three boys? Do you? Because she wrote last week what I wish I had been able to find four years ago. She wrote the best post about having a third baby that I have ever read. It is personal. It is comprehensive. It is practical. And it is touching. Most of all, it rings so so true in its honesty and wisdom and fact. Read it. Even if you want nothing to do with three children or already have five or are somewhere in between. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 24, 2010
We Didn’t Celebrate our Blogiversary (but we did put together a list of Blogs by Moms of Three–or more–Kids)
It’s not that we forgot that we’ve been blogging for a year (since March 13, 2009). It’s just that, well, it didn’t come up. Sarah and I so rarely see each other in person that we didn’t ever talk about what to do in celebration of US. But now, a few months past, we’ve decided to celebrate us by offering others a quick resource for blogs by moms of three (or more). That’s right. Introducing: MomMamaMommy! (Inspired by this.) We’ve said it before. Something changes when you have that third kid. It’s so difficult for us to put our fingers [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 18, 2010
A day of Yes
Yes I’ll make cinnamon-chip muffins Yes we have Daddy juice Yes you can wear shorts today Yes there are clean socks in the laundry basket in my room Yes you have PE today (so wear your sneakers, too) Yes I’ll pack yogurt in your lunch Yes I’ll pack a granola bar in your snack Yes it’s my turn to drive you to school today Yes you have to brush your teeth Yes I’m picking you up from school, too Yes your friend M can come over to play Yes I’ll make popcorn Yes you can jump on the (neighbor’s) trampoline [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsMay 14, 2010
I had this body
I had this body I had abs A navel pierced with a tiny silver ring I had an ass that didn’t move up and down when I ran (I had this body that ran) I had a waist that fit into skinny jeans and thighs that fit, too I had this body before I had children this body that has slipped away become something else after the third child or because I’m getting older I can’t say, really But I had this body and I wish I had appreciated it more when it was mine (mine alone) Because now it [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsMay 12, 2010
Happiness is
Happiness is three slippery bodies just out of the tub holding out their towels and asking for a “Daddy warm-up” Happiness is my Sweetie’s eyes deep brown and kind always smiling with soft lines around them like the Lucinda Williams song Happiness is this family that is ours only ours always ours because we took the leap that led us here ***************** Wednesday and Thursday are all about Happiness. Sarah and I are so happy to have you along on this amazing adventure. Link away…and we’ll get busy reading.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsMay 11, 2010
Courage is
Courage is taking a leap into love commitment Motherhood Courage is forgiving freely and forgetting moving forward Courage is starting each day fresh without the weight of yesterday’s failures or hurdles or burdens Courage is being the best woman I can be the best partner I can be the best Mother I can be and not apologizing for not being better ******* Are you new here? Do you need some more information about all these goings-on? Check out the sidebar. Everything you need to know is over there! Also, please bear with us as we catch up from yesterday on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 10, 2010
The Sidelines
The sun beats down on me as I sit on the sidelines. The vastness of the bright green playing field is filled in with players wearing blue and white jerseys, three stripes down the side of their shorts and across the tops of their socks. The ball pops here and there, in and out of bounds, over heads, into goals, and through the breeze that pushes tears around my face. I pull my hat further down and shift in the taupe spectator chair. I swirl the ice in my coffee and kick off my shoes. I have shut down. My [...]
Read More in motherhood, oldest child, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 9, 2010
The Evidence of Mothers–a post by our Mom
In a new Mother’s Day tradition, today’s post–like last year’s Mother’s Day post–is written by Momalom’s mom, aka GG or Geege. She’ll no doubt be checking comments, so let her know what you think. And, thanks, Mom, for gracing our space with your wisdom once more. The Evidence of Mothers One of my best friends’ 37-year-old son recently made her a grandmother for the first time. When I saw Chris last week, she grabbed me and gave me a shake, demanding to know why I had never told her what being a grandparent is like, how wonderful it is Of [...]
Read More in birthday, GG, GG Writes, guest post, motherhoodMay 8, 2010
Popsicles and the parade that wasn’t: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! ********** The Three Popsicle Day (originally published May 23, 2009) We don’t go on too many weekend family outings, because on the days that I am home, J works (and vice versa). So this morning, when I was standing in the center of our little town at 9:56 [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, repost, three kidsMay 6, 2010
Discovering the Park: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! ********** Mysteries Unearthed (Originally published August 9, 2009) Friday I took my kids to the park. It was 3 in the afternoon. The baby had woken from her nap. Quiet time was over. We were at loose ends. So I strapped the girls into the bike trailer, B [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, repost, three kidsMay 3, 2010
Moving into Motherhood: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, we’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! We’ll see you back here on the 10th, all fresh and new! ****************** Newly Mothering (originally posted on August 5, 2009) Yup, I’m on Facebook. Who isn’t? It’s kind of like Twitter…and sex…I go through phases. This week I am happy to announce that I’ve reconnected with an old high school friend. We’ve been Facebook “friends” [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesApril 30, 2010
(On Not) Living in the Past
I have noticed lately that it’s not unusual for people to be living in their pasts. Thinking back to their glory days of high school. Or the independence of college. Their single days. The days when they had money (read: before children). There is a lot of this going on. And I’ve just (finally?) put it all together. I think it took me a while to realize this because, well, I don’t really have high school glory days. College was wonderful but not something I feel I need to revisit. I never really wanted to be single, so when I [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsApril 26, 2010
What I Should Have Said
Yesterday at a gathering I was asked by an old friend and mom of one, “How do you do three?” “You just do it,” I said without hesitating. And this is very true. You just do it. I just do it. I mother my three children. I respond first to who needs me most. I multitask all the time. I answer to mom, mama, mommy. Sometimes all at once. I hold hands and answer questions and zip jackets. I keep track and count heads and get juice. I take trips to the potty and mop up spilled water. I just [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 15, 2010
On being present and how it’s often the hardest thing to do not WHEN you’re a mother but BECAUSE of it
Just a thought (and then I’m sure Jen will post something a little more put-together later on): I sometimes wish there weren’t such an emphasis on being present. I feel an enormous amount of pressure to enjoy the moments with my kids. And so often I feel like it’s just impossible. Not because of me, but because of the management of life. It is gorgeous outside right now. The sun is shining its late-afternoon glow. The boys are alternating between snacking and drinking and bouncing on the trampoline. They wander in and out of the house looking for me, needing [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesApril 11, 2010
Easily and Gracefully
I actually looked up the word supple in the dictionary. And I’m glad I did. Because here’s the definition, according to Merriam-Webster: bending and moving easily and gracefully Easily. And Gracefully. That’s the part that speaks to me when it comes to being emotionally supple. I want to bend easily and gracefully in the ways that I react to things. I want to be able to breathe and take in what is in front of me, whether an entire container of art beads strewn across the kitchen floor or a child dancing through the house singing a song in a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 9, 2010
This Is My Life? Peace and Quiet
E is napping. (Almost four hours so far!) B is at a friend’s house apres school. S is helping me clean, REALLY clean. It is quiet. And peaceful. And productive around here. Is this really my life? I am savoring it. I know there may be only minutes–or just seconds, even–left.
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 7, 2010
Top Tips: A Sampling
There are things we all wished we’d known before we had kids. Things we wish other mothers had told us about. Things beyond “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Things like, sometimes squeezing in a shower is an accomplishment more satisfying than your greatest professional achievement. So, we’ve decided to offer up some tips of our own. A brief glimpse at the many things we’ve learned since becoming moms–in most cases since becoming moms of three. Here’s what we have for you this time, in no particular order at all: 1. Say Yes to your kids as often as you can. [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 6, 2010
Familiarity
I wish I could have written what Amanda wrote over the weekend. Her post on looking in the mirror reflects so much of what I’ve been feeling lately. I am so grateful to have found Amanda’s blog, with her gorgeously written posts about a life that is so familiar to me I feel as if I am looking in a mirror just taking in her words. And, after getting lost in her writing, I find myself asking If so many of us are feeling the same way Then why is it so often that we feel alone?
Read More in body image, home, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsMarch 30, 2010
Emotional suppleness
This morning on my drive into work, I happened upon an interview with scientist Stephen S. Hall. In talking about his new book Wisdom: From Philosophy to Science he used the term “emotional suppleness.” I didn’t hear much of what he said after that, because I just kept repeating those two words over and over to myself. Emotional suppleness. Emotional suppleness. I’ve written about my struggles for time, about wanting to be mindful of my children’s childhoods while also preparing them for adulthood, about the challenges of getting kids into bed, of keeping calm, of not wanting to be judged [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kids, writingMarch 27, 2010
Mommy has a tattoo
I have a tattoo. Here’s a little visual for you. A photograph taken on my wedding day. In my white dress. In front of a lighthouse altar. My arm gently folded around my man’s broad hand. It was a sunny Cape Cod day full of promise, and new beginnings. Despite life’s fresh starts, we all are branded by the past. I am branded. This tattoo is the most obvious of examples. I cannot hide it. I cannot remove it. It drops beneath shirt sleeves, and peeks through pale, woven sweaters. It is boldly displayed in a tank top or (gasp!) [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesMarch 23, 2010
The Mommy Contest
We could also have titled this “Why We Think Moms Should Give Up a Little Control” but, that just doesn’t sound as catchy, does it? So, The Mommy Contest We don’t want to win the mommy contest You know the one The one where you have to be the smartest the calmest the one with the superhero costume in her purse the healthy snacks and the right answers to everything We spend so much time thinking and talking about what it is to be a mother Because the judgments come from every direction There are no clear answers anywhere And [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 15, 2010
Struggling for time
Loud music. And 23 minutes on the dinner timer. Means I have time to sit down at my computer for a moment. Should I be with the rest of the family? Together in the other room. Enjoying the loud music, even louder in there. I am torn. I can actually feel the internal pulling. The I Shoulds: Family. I should be enjoying this time with them. Dancing. Goofing around. Singing to loud music. Taking in their smiles and their little bodies moving freely. Against. The I Wants: Time. Time is what I want. Time to form a complete thought and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingMarch 9, 2010
Last Saturday
A family breakfast of crepes and scrambled eggs. Grapefruit and coffee. A walk to the library to return books and take out videos. Lunch together. A houseful of blankets washed and hung to dry on the clothesline, drooping from a winter of ice and snow. A bike ride for B, S and Sweetie; a long nap for E; and reading on the porch for me. Catching up with neighbors after months of a housebound season. PJs before dinner, which has been cooking all day in the Crock-Pot, filling the house with the aromas of Indian spices. *** I came to [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 2, 2010
Thanks for noticing me
So there I am, loading the kids into the truck. Tying balloons onto car seats so they make it home from the birthday party. Fastening buckles. Unwrapping Smarties and Dum Dums for the short ride to Geege’s house. Rearranging the bags in the front seat so there is room for me to sit and drive. Chattering to the kids. Answering their questions. Finding their sippy cups. As far as loading in goes, this is a successful venture. A car pulls up. A window rolls down. I catch it all in the corner of my eye. “Everything OK, Jen? You need [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsFebruary 20, 2010
Finally! We selected a winner!
Love it Up has come and gone. We had 37 entries to our love-letter challenge, and Sarah and I finally had a chance to sit down with our computers (albeit farther away from each other than usual–one of us is at Geege’s) and select a winner (thank the computer goddesses for iChat). We read about love of equipment, stuffed animals, family members … even states of consciousness. And we loved reading every single entry. It was difficult to choose a winner. I know, that’s so cliched! But it’s true, of course. We want to send all of you chocolate goodie [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhoodFebruary 11, 2010
I wish I had more for you, but this is all I got today
(i wish i had more for you but my brain can’t handle any more than this and i’m okay with that because as jen says “motherhood is hard, yo” and these words just have to be good enough for now) my brain is swirling whirling disappearing and coming back around to itself there are lists and tasks and chores and goals i have to do and meet and be the exhaustion is pushed away by caffeine and kid-chasing, but it’s still there and i get weary of worrying if i’m keeping perspective on life, my life, this life somewhere underneath [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesJanuary 29, 2010
I am (finally?) the person everybody wants to be around
My 1-year-old stands beside the couch patting the cushion, motioning me to sit down instead of pick up old pretzel chunks from the floor. And if I sit she will heft her solid little body up next to me, crawl on top of me, and stay. (For about 10 seconds.) My 5-year-old waits. Waits. Playing with a truck. Or sitting on his bed rubbing Theo’s ear. I don’t know. But he waits. For me to turn off the shower. And before I can reach for a towel I hear, “Mama? Mom?” My 4-year-old asks if I will “suggle” with her [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJanuary 26, 2010
Lip Service
As a mother with three young children who look to me and their father for guidance on everything from getting dressed to knowing when it is safe to cross the street, I think about the lessons I’m imparting. I think about the details of our days. I think about the times I yell at them and shouldn’t have. Or how I could have answered a difficult question differently. I think about how much little stuff goes into creating memorable lives for them. I want to create memories for my children. As parents, Sweetie and I have started traditions—of going to [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJanuary 20, 2010
This is my life: Two hours at a time
Sarah and I thought we’d start a new series. Simple pieces and/or photos that just tell it like it is. The basic day-to-day of having three kids. Straightforward and less about the emotional part of mothering every now and then. We’ve decided to call it This is My Life. So, here goes my first attempt: My days are divided into two-hour blocks, which go something like this. 6:30 a.m. Wake up 8:30 a.m. Out the door to drop off B and S at school 9:30 a.m. Home from drop off 11:30 a.m. Out the door to pick up S 12:30 [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJanuary 5, 2010
Should I let my kid win sometimes?
When I was a kid my brother, my sister and I would hole up in a bedroom or the corner of the living room during the Holiday break and start a marathon tournament of Monopoly. At least, I assume it was winter. I think I remember flannel pajamas, well-worn slippers and blankets tucked around our legs. I know I remember mornings before my parents had risen spent trading Park Place for all of those Orange properties. St. James Place? New York Avenue? I remember the sound of the tossing dice–cheers and grumbles both at the resulting numbers. I remember losing [...]
Read More in motherhood, oldest child, Sarah Writes, three kidsJanuary 4, 2010
Sometimes you have to just let them fend for themselves
The kids, I mean. Your kids. The ones who are constantly underfoot. Asking for something. A snack. Help. A story. A solution to their everpresent boredom. But sometimes you just have to let them fend for themselves. You have to let them fight, keeping an ear out for bloodshed but otherwise staying out of it. Sometimes you just have to make the decision to get something done. So you find the hammer and level. And the picture hangers. And you dust off the photos you’ve been meaning to hang for months. And some, for years. And you just go for [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsDecember 31, 2009
Blue Moon
Happy New Year. Happy New Decade. Happy 2010. There are a few more hours of 2009 in my place in the world, and I am anxious to ring in the New Year. The kids are in bed, and I just peeked outside at the full moon. The second this month. How perfect. How rare. A blue moon on New Year’s Eve. To me this means second chances. Renewal. It means there are good things in store in the coming year. Things that rarely have happened before in my life. Better things. Even mystical things. Tonight, I am crossing the threshold [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsDecember 30, 2009
(Be)longing
Was I lying when I wrote about not apologizing for my dreams? Because I haven’t been doing much to further those dreams lately. I have been composing only in my head. At night. Long after everyone else in the house is asleep. Or I have been jotting down notes on a legal pad between trips to the kitchen to do a dish, get a snack, refill a juice cup. But I have not been here. Here. At the computer, the porthole to the blog, at night, after the kids are asleep. I have not. Instead I have been with my [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, home, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingDecember 17, 2009
Sleeping Beneath the Tree
Jen is right. It is the experiences of childhood that tell the tale of our youth as we get older and gain perspective about our upbringing. It is not only the opportunities that we are offered–soccer camps, slumber parties and piano lessons–or the material gifts that shower down upon us on Christmas and birthdays, but the experiences we share directly with our parents. The small stuff as much as the big. The time that is devoted to us individually. A one-on-one experience. An experience that is engineered to delight both child and parent. A moment to be shared, to be [...]
Read More in holidays, motherhood, Sarah WritesDecember 11, 2009
Breakable
[Audio clip: view full post to listen] There are certain things my husband just will not do. It amazes me that he has the resolve to walk away so easily. To leave something undone. Without guilt. Without a second thought. To leave it in my hands. My hands that are already exhausted by all that needs doing in life. The chores, the tasks, the mountains of laundry. The wiping of noses, the tying of laces, the dressing, feeding, caretaking of my mommy life. I am exhausted by the mere thought of it all, let alone the execution. Exhausted by trying [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, chores, fatherhood, housework, motherhood, relationship, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsI have two separate text documents on my computer filled with attempts at explaining my reaction to Jen’s post from yesterday. It’s important for me to respond to her even though I’ve been having some trouble finding all the words. She has spun a stimulating thread here. I have read and reread the insightful comments from our dedicated readers, and it is obvious that her words have inspired a wealth of thoughts and emotions about our roles as parents. How we foster independence in our children. How much or little we intervene with their choices. How accepting we are of [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, sisters, three kidsDecember 1, 2009
Why my kids have milk mustaches, skinned knees and chore charts
Out of necessity, I have given up a lot of control. A LOT. That’s what happens when you are outnumbered by your children. And your children’s needs. You have to let things go. And here’s what has happened since I stopped wiping faces after every meal or even caring if they’ve had three meals rather than eight snacks: I’ve come to believe that me giving up a certain amount of control of my kids is good for everyone. It takes the pressure off of me. And for the kids? They learn risk, responsibility, consequences. Also pride. And humility. But the [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsNovember 10, 2009
In the moments after bedtime
I am sitting here, waiting for the words to come. I have started a half dozen posts, but none is coming out the way I want it to. They don’t meet my expectations. I don’t meet my expectations. But it’s NaBloPoMo time. I HAVE to post. It’s my night. The pressure’s on. The kids are asleep. The house is quiet. I’m feeling a little better–not SO exhausted that I can’t sit still and type. But the IDEAS. Where are the ideas? I can’t just post another poem. A tribute to someone else. A wish for a makeover. I need some [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, three kidsNovember 3, 2009
When life gets in the way of motherhood
My boy is sick. He lays beside me in bed right now telling me over and over it’s time for him to go to sleep. Finally admitting that he feels horrible. He isn’t just “fine.” Telling me that he loves me and that he wants me to be right next to him. Right now and all night long. In my big comfortable cloud of a bed. So here we are. Dan will sleep on the couch. I will sleep next to my boy. His fever will drift up and down. I will be here to medicate him and mother him. [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 2, 2009
Confession: I want a mommy makeover
Did you ever see one of those mom makeover segments on a show like Live with Regis and Kelly and wonder What is wrong with that woman? I mean, do the moms that they find for these shows REALLY look SO tragic in real life? Dull, stringy hair and a general overall look that just DEFINES frumpy? A few years ago this didn’t seem possible to me. It seemed to me like they must have given the woman of the day an unmakeover prior to her “before” picture. But, now I’m a mother. A tragic mother. My teeth aren’t yellow [...]
Read More in body image, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 27, 2009
The days of no me before motherhood
So I kind of abandoned Sarah this week. Talk about SCARY. I’d been walking around for days frustrated with just about every big aspect of life. (More than usual.) Money. Career. Relationship. Mommyhood. And I’d started to take it all out on my kids. And my partner. I was having imaginary conversations. Out loud. It was getting pretty ugly. And scary. Because I wasn’t making anything better. I was avoiding real conversations that needed to be had. And I was perpetuating a vicious circle of “why am I the only one” thinking. Why am I the only one to see [...]
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, home, housework, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, paid work, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingOctober 27, 2009
Connections
People change me. I am so ready to be changed. It is not a failure or a flaw. It is not a sign that I waffle easily, that I am unsure of who I am and what I want. Instead, I know it to be the natural course of my life. There is always another way to do things. How do I know I’m doing it right? How do I know that I look best in blue? Why would I think that my answers are correct? I look for help. I look for reassurance. I look for change. And most [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsOctober 22, 2009
A very wealthy life
This is the place where we admit it all. Where we say what we can’t say to our friends at the playground. To our neighbors at a backyard barbecue. Where we coddle the voice that sits within. The one that whines in frustration at all the chores and the failures. The deeds undone. The lives we don’t have. But we want. The people we see inside ourselves. But can’t always become. This is the place where we try not to portray ourselves as someone in particular. We place no judgment. We find no fear. We look for resolve. This is [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsOctober 19, 2009
My cultured (?) children
What is it like to LIVE with three kids? It’s messy. And it’s loud. But I have to remind myself that those two things are not always bad. In my house, often the messes are art projects. The remnants of art projects. The precursors to art projects. Just about anything goes when it comes to creating art in our house. Cardboard boxes. Popsicle sticks. Sticks of any kind, actually. Acorns and other assorted organic matter. Feathers. Pom poms. Plastic doohickeys of every shape, size and unknown origin. These things and PAPER are all over my house. As are crayons of [...]
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 18, 2009
Give yourself away
When I was in high school I had a favorite teacher. She would have us freewrite. It was liberating for me. I didn’t understand why some of my classmates would groan. We were given a topic and ten minutes. Our pens were instructed to flow freely and effortlessly and consistently for 10 minutes. And I say “our pens” because they really take on a life of their own when you let your mind just go. I don’t think I ever realized it until now but it was like a meditation. A release of the thoughts. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, history aka before kids, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids, writingOctober 5, 2009
“You have more to give”
I used to be an athlete. And I was a decent one. Not the strongest, not the most dedicated, not the best. But I was pretty good. I was a collegiate rower. I made the first boat. I was elected captain by my teammates. I medaled in the Head of the Charles once. Being an athlete was a major part of my identity. And yesterday I got to go back in time and get a little glimpse of the me that used to be. It has been a long time since I’ve rowed competitively. I worked as a crew coach [...]
Read More in exercise, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 21, 2009
I could be a better mother- Part 1 (outline?)
I’m exhausted. I’m just exhausted. Every minute or two I remember something else that needs to be accomplished. Right now? The tooth fairy. “Don’t go to bed before the tooth fairy lands!” looms in the back of my head. I will almost forget. I will turn off the tv. I will put my head down. I will close my eyes. I will sigh big and deep and well-deserved, and then I’ll say FUCK! It’s what I do. And thank goodness for that. Cause if I didn’t remember I KNOW I’d be doing something wrong. And that’s the question. How do [...]
Read More in motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kids, workSeptember 19, 2009
A long post about changes in motherhood
I have spent most of the last six years in the company of babies, toddlers, preschoolers and, just recently, a kindergartner and his friends. Also, many moms of these children. These moms are around my age–within five years in most cases. Some work full time, most work part time, like me. Some have one child, some have two, a few have three. All are women who put their children first, as I do. Some are single, some are married. Some spend time exercising or writing or going to knitting clubs or book groups. Some are even able to do the [...]
Read More in exercise, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsAugust 25, 2009
I used to date women
Yup. I used to date women. It started in high school. Wait. Strike that. It started in high school. It started in fourth grade. Ashley Parker. We used to bend down and kiss each other on the lips behind the hedgerow before I hurried off to my mother’s car at the end of the driveway. Wait. Revelation. It started before THAT. Lauren Pearson. We once pulled our pants down during a playdate and smooshed our bodies together. Just laying and smooshing. A few minutes later we were back to making up songs and chasing each other around the house, weaving [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesAugust 5, 2009
Newly Mothering
Yup, I’m on Facebook. Who isn’t? It’s kind of like Twitter…and sex…I go through phases. This week I am happy to announce that I’ve reconnected with an old high school friend. We’ve been Facebook “friends” for a little while but never really had much to say to one another. I don’t think either of us are particularly poised for rehashing our adolescent years at the all-girls’ boarding school we attended. Well, at least not without some margaritas in a dark mexican lounge with about 5 other post-boarding school babes surrounding us. (Hmm, that idea IS sounding a little fun right [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's FavoritesJuly 13, 2009
Don’t Call Them Swimming Lessons
I signed B and S up for swimming lessons this week. Shh. Don’t tell them. Just say, “We’re going to a pool today. And there might be other kids there. And an instructor. His name is Kim. [giggle giggle] And he might play with you in the water.” Hey, it worked! There are three kids in the swimming class. Two of them are my kids. I haven’t been yet, because I was at work today. But I haven’t seen my family all happy at the same time and for such a prolonged amount of time in a LONG TIME. They [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, UncategorizedJuly 4, 2009
Becoming Cool
I live in an artsy New England town. Lots of musicians. Artists of all kinds. Creative people creating. These are major reasons why I love living here. But also, often I feel very uncool. For my day job? Well, part of it entails writing obituaries. Yep. Also, I don’t play a musical instrument. Nor can I draw a realistic interpretation of anything. Or make a convincing attempt at abstract representation, for that matter. Oh sure, I write. But it seems like everyone else does too. And the rest of them? Well, they actually have their books published. When I take [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, siblings, three kids, UncategorizedJuly 1, 2009
A few things to get off of my chest
I have a post brewing. But it’s not entirely through the filter yet. So this will have to do for now: 1. A while back I wrote about how you don’t have to look far to find someone who is worse off. (Here.) Here’s the thing, though. Sometimes you just feel like shit. And your bad is bad enough. Even though someone else is going through more. Someone else is sicker. Or poorer. Or more stressed out. But sometimes, your own problems are enough to feel bad about. I’m just saying. ********** 2. Sweeping the kitchen floor makes me feel [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, siblings, three kidsJune 26, 2009
Mama or Aunt Jennie?—It’s all the same this weekend
Well, I’m off. My part of the secret weekend is about to begin. Tomorrow morning, I’ll be loading the three kids—and the pillows—into the car for the hourlong ride south. Where we’ll meet up with Kelsey, who will no doubt have everything completely under control at Sarah’s. And then, after Kels gives me the rundown of nap schedules and bottle needs, she will leave, and I will be left alone. That is, not at all alone. It will be me and six kids. Shall we review the ages? Indulge me, OK? 6, 5, 3, 2, 1, 9 months. Alright, alright, [...]
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids (six kids)June 19, 2009
Should you judge a book (or your sister) by its cover?
I received an e-mail from a friend a few nights ago that brought me back to summer vacation, almost five years ago. Not to the beaches or sitting in a hammock reading, or to introducing B to his extended family for the first time. But to a time when I was in judgment of my sister’s behavior. Toward a book. The e-mail: “Do you save the dust jackets that come with your children’s books? I take them off because I know they’re going to just get ripped. But then I have no idea what to do with them…” Around the [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, sistersJune 12, 2009
Bad Mothers, Good Mothers, Really?
Today’s post started as a comment to the article Just Sayin’ – Is “bad” parenting in? I heard it in the car on the way to work and immediately called Jen, who should have been in the car, on the way to work, and she was, but she didn’t answer the phone because she was in the dead zone (topic for an entirely different post). I hate it when she’s in the dead zone and so I left a message. And here we are now, hours later and thinking about this article and all that it means, how it can [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, Sarah WritesI amso tired tiredtrying my best to look forward toa weekend at home with my kidsand my husbandand the sun I amtrying real hardto approach all these must-do’s and have-to’sand just knock them off my lists those lists that float around my house and inside my pursethose lists that help me organize my thoughts in the morningand then confirm I am a total failure at night There is so much to be doneit’s overwhelmingthe list is overwhelmingit runs on without stoppingI can’t jump over it or around itcannot tackle it in any kind of productive manner Whenever I start a [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, unpaid workMay 21, 2009
Another post about how tired I am
Sleep deprivation. Is seriously. Seriously. Difficult. And I’m supposed to FUNCTION as a reasonable human being. A parent. A MOTHER. But my kids. Won’t. Let. Me. Sleep. My mom says this won’t last forever. In fact, it will only be a FEW. MORE. YEARS. But, oh, how am I ever going to make it? The past few nights, Em, who has been teething and teething and has nothing to show for it, has not slept. That is, not unless she is on top of me. On top of my chest. She is 20 pounds. And very squirmy. With very sharp [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsMay 16, 2009
My take on making new friends with other moms
Sarah, I totally hear you. It is HARD to make friends with other moms. And the park scene can be tough. And the women you were friends with before you had kids? Yeah, that’s tough, too. Because, let’s face it, motherhood is, arguably, the most life-changing transformation for a woman. And if your pre-kid friends haven’t had kids yet or if one of you has, oh, say one kid and the other of you has, oh, say THREE, you probably haven’t kept up with those girlfriends. Life has just changed too much to be chatting about office gossip or current [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 15, 2009
A hug is where the heart is
I can’t stop thinking about this face. And how it’s lips can charm me and scorch me all in a matter of minutes. _______________________________________ Scenario: Jamis asks for a hug.I’m bein’ a lil’ bit goofy and flop on top of him. Arrrrrrg! “There’s your huggy hug.” “No, a real hug.” So I sit up properly on the couch and he folds into my arms. Actually, I think we’re at the point where I fold into him, because the hugs are less frequent and he tends to offer them not only when he needs one, but when he knows I need [...]
Read More in boys, fatherhood, motherhood, oldest child, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 14, 2009
Making new friends with other moms
Oh it is So not the first time this has subject has been pondered. And it So won’t be the last: The well-documented problem of moms seeking out other moms for friendship. And why is it always moms seeking out other moms? Why aren’t moms seeking out dads, or single gals, or newlyweds too? Um, do I have to go there? I think we are all aware of that crazy brain thing that happens after you’ve given birth, and often times long before: There’s a life inside of me. Wait, it’s going to come out. Thank Gooooodness, it’s out. Damn, [...]
Read More in Favorites, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 13, 2009
Why Am I Not Sleeping?
Maybe if I still had a favorite stuffed animal (like B’s good friend Theo, here) I would have the discipline to turn off the computer and go to sleep.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sleepMay 12, 2009
And why three is enough, for this body
Just as having a third child was perfect for our family, having a fourth would be selfish. On my part. I would parent more children, welcome them into our family if circumstances led to that, but I will not have another baby. Not through this body. Pregnancy and I are not the best of friends. One year ago I was four months pregnant and just coming off of months of hyperemesis gravidarum (not unlike my previous two pregnancies). In a word: miserable. I spent every day curled up in bed and curled up on the bathroom floor. HG, for me, [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 12, 2009
Tractor Masterpiece
Try not to focus on the melting frosting. I am especially proud of the hay bale cupcakes, thank you very much.
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest childMay 11, 2009
Post Mother’s Day Post
I know, enough about Mother’s Day already. I just have some things to say and I think that if I don’t, I’ll forget. And I can’t. I can’t forget; I need to have a place to come back to when it’s time to remember. I’ve been lucky enough to celebrate six Mother’s Days. None has ever been as special as this one. We did not go out for brunch. I did not wear a hat. It was just a day. My kids woke up. My husband asked if I’d like to sleep in and he’d bring me coffee. I said [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesMay 10, 2009
Tired, No More – A post by our Mom
Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! In honor of the day we asked our mom to write for us. You can call her Gail, or GG, or Geege. She’s famous in our homes and in our hearts. This weekend she is celebrating Mother’s Day with her amazing mom and two charismatic sisters on Cape Cod and, undoubtedly, laughing hard enough and loud enough to keep many of the neighbors awake. I hope you are having a good time, Mom! We love you. We are so happy for your contribution. And Happy Mother’s Day! Last week I met a woman whose daughter I [...]
Read More in Favorites, GG, GG Writes, motherhood, three kidsI’ve been so indecisive about my emotions this week. The weather’s been rainy, and so have I. I feel a sour melting of my heart with every wish for bedtime, for alone time, for peace and quiet. I love my kids, I do. But it takes a special lens to find joy in the every day, the every need, the feeding, cleaning, teaching that is my every moment when I am at home. There is solace in work, even if I often loathe the tasks that are stacked before me, or the sheer volume of space it takes in my [...]
Read More in motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kids, unpaid workTwo nights ago Jamis suggested that I read Ethan a book before bed. Ethan is one. I can recall only 5 nights that my husband or I have read to him at bedtime. Flashback to 2002. Jamis is four months old and Dan and I have fallen into a routine of dinner, bath, books, bottle, bed. We alternate nights. We glide in the rocker, happy baby tucked into our laps. We read 1o books, sing 3 songs and crush him with kisses. He smiles. He drifts off to sleep. We walk through a clean and orderly house. Fall on the [...]
Read More in boys, Favorites, motherhood, Sarah Writes, sex, siblings, three kids, youngest childI think I might get a little mushy this morning. I’m not privy to mush and goo and all things cutesy and sweet; however, many of my posts thus far have hinted that I am not happy with my life, with my role as the mother of three, as the keeper of chaos. That is not the case at all and I need to remind myself of that on days like these when I wake up and everything seems just right. The baby slept through the night. The middle (problem) child is happy and positive. The oldest child is entertained, [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 30, 2009
In response to Dr. Sears, Mommy Burnout, and the fight I had with my husband this morning
I am so terrifically mad at my husband right now that I want to spit. I shouldn’t even be writing about this here. It’s not a place to give people the wrong impression that I live with a terrible person or something. That’s not the case, so please take it as only a moment in time, a moment in my mind that I absolutely must purge before it throws me down under where I can’t think of anything else, where I breathe anger, eat anger and cry anger. And please be kind enough to deal with the run-on sentences, as [...]
Read More in boys, Favorites, health, motherhood, paid work, relationship, Sarah Writes, sex, three kids, unpaid work, workApril 16, 2009
A letter to a friend
Meg, I am absolutely thrilled in every way to find out that you are, by golly, finally pregnant!!! Yay! Wahoo! Skideedle Dat! (that sounded cool in my head) I have to say that I was kind of stunned and amazed to hear the news last night. I certainly wasn’t expecting it. It was so nonchalant how you offered up the information. We’d been talking about my three boys and the craziness here, about work and schedules and springtime and then you just quietly dropped it in. Even now, I’m making my “long face” with my jaw dropped, my eyes first [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesI take so many risks. I’m not sure if the risks I take now as a parent of three are greater or more severe than the risks I took as a parent of one (or two) OR if it just appears that way because the things I thought were risky back then are part of my very very every day now. Some things just are not safe, like leaving a kid alone with the knife set, the hair clippers, the nail clippers, or the play-doh. Other things are not so simple. Seemingly mundane decisions can be the riskiest of all. [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 14, 2009
Thanking my lucky springtime stars
My sweetie always says, “You don’t have to look far to find someone who is worse off than yourself.” Lately, this statement has been proven correct almost daily. It’s spring. Finally. The season of birth. Renewal. My brain even feels it. I am more relaxed. The messy house no longer seems like it’s doomed to forever be covered in hats, mittens, coats, boots. The kids can go outside to dig in the dirt, play with their trucks, ride their bikes. There are sidewalk chalk “drawings” on the house siding. Phew. It’s been a long time coming, this kid-friendly season. And [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid work, youngest childApril 13, 2009
My last baby
My youngest is six months old. She is my calmest baby. And she will be my last. Saying this brings with it much relief and a strange sadness. I so desperately wanted a third child. Within minutes of the birth of my second I knew I didn’t want to be finished just yet. And I wondered and worried for more than two years until J and I decided we were meant to have another. Deciding to have a child is such a powerful and yet naive action. Now I know that I cannot go through another pregnancy. The longing for [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, three kids, youngest childApril 12, 2009
How many nights can I go without real sleep?
J is upstairs putting the big kids to bed. Em is lying on the couch beside me, playing. I am as tired as I ever have been. Too tired to be writing this post with any hope of making a point. The past four or five nights (I have lost track) have been very long and not very full of sleep. As a result, I have slowed down. Internally. It is as if I can feel my heart beating slower. As if my blood is thicker. And my brain. My brain is just barely functioning at all. It is, in [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsApril 12, 2009
Easter playlist, by my Sweetie
Gods will be Gods—Echo and the Bunnymen Death Came a Knockin—The Duhks Nobody Does me Like Jesus—Ollabelle I Am Waiting No More My Lord—Ollabelle Someday the Sun Won’t Shine for You—Jethro Tull Easter—Patti Smith Group New Beginning—Tracy Chapman The Gospel—The Dandy Warhols Pilot Can at the Queer of God—The Flaming Lips Return of the Grievous Angel (and We’ll Sweep Out the Ashes in the Morning)—Gram Parsons
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhoodApril 12, 2009
Why is today ANY different?
I’ve been awake for 12 minutes and discovered that I entirely missed the Easter morning Egg Hunt and Jelly Bean search. The boys have apparently searched and searched again and had their fun. And now it’s done. Jamis is downloading skeeball on to my iPhone, oh joy. My mother and her partner, D, are reading the paper. Dan is on his computer and when I talk to him he doesn’t even look away to face me – seems the sun is shining right in his eyes when he does, so why bother? Max is watching Tom & Jerry, but at [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, sleep, three kids, unpaid workApril 11, 2009
My Complete Inability to Make a Commitment to My Job: How Busy Does This Little Bee Want to Be???
I took a day off work two days ago to BE. Just to be. With my sister. To talk and eat and laugh and BE. It was fantastic, even though my mind was muddy and felt quite separate from my body. It is absolutely amazing in every way that the body can produce so much mucus. I’ve decided that I would much rather wipe my kids’ noses and coax them to blow OUT than to be inconvenienced by my own cold. That’s just awful, isn’t it? Am I wishing sickness upon my kids? Well, no, of course not. It’s just [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kids, workApril 10, 2009
Letter to my sister
Dear Sarah, I feel I already have failed you. Wasn’t I the one who volunteered to write the next post? Yesterday. After we agreed to a daily presence? Allow me to explain. Well, I arrived home to a sick kid and the fallout of a SICK KID. And it was dinner time. Need I say more? The night promised to be a long one. And then, today. It is not yet 10:00 a.m. Here is what I have done—in no particular order. (That would be too much to ask of my fatigued brain.) Three loads of laundry (one hanging on [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workApril 2, 2009
Body Image
So Dan and I were watching something on tv about this incredibly IN-SHAPE woman who is training for yet another crazy event – the Ironman, I believe – and coincidentally I have a friend training for the same thing. Go friend! It was a motivating story about one woman’s accomplishments, dreams, ambitions and drive. Most of all her drive, I guess. What drive! To put not only your body through the rigors of exercise, the tiresome schedule of double and triple workouts in a day, but even more so your mind. The resolve – that your brain must (MUST) tell [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 2, 2009
Inner Dialogue GET OUT
I don’t really talk to myself that often but I think I should start. Like I just walked in the house and said SHOWER. Yes, Sarah. Take a fucking shower. Your sinuses are blocked and your fingers are tingling cuz you’re freezing and a shower will do you good. Forgo those fucking dishes in the sink, the grocery list, and the laundry. I turned the corner to head upstairs and then I said EAT SOMETHING. (there’s a muffin in the toaster right now) So it’s like this – instead of talking out loud to make a list or directing your [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 2, 2009
From Two to Three
Sinus backup. I’ve got a cluster in my sinus – but it’s worked its way into my brain and I feel completely inept right now. I’m supposed to be working and then cleaning up the house and then heading to the grocery store. Instead I am an absolute lump. Maybe I should just let my body fold into sleep and give up until the afternoon – when I will be forced back into motherhood and household duties. But I keep thinking about three kids. I dropped the little ones off at the sitter’s this morning and reveled in the candor [...]
Read More in Favorites, health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kids, workMarch 30, 2009
Late Night Snacking
I’m not sure if a bowl of leftover pinwheels dripping with smart balance, sprinkled with parmesan, is what you’d call a “late night snack” but that’s what I just wolfed down as I casually read through some blogs. That and the piece of hearty bread slathered with same smart balance. Shit, where’s the booze to go with it? Oh yeah, red wine season is out. Margaritas coming back in style again soon, I hope. So what’s with the eating, I say? I ask myself. I say, self, what’s with the damn eating. What void are you trying to fill. What [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 26, 2009
Profundity
I have come to the realization that I don’t have anything really profound to say. Life, in itself, is profound; my thoughts about living it are more dirt and grit, mundane, absolute in their necessity. My achievement today is making dinner out of nothing much. I haven’t been to the grocery store for anything more than the bare necessities in nearly a month. A month. I can’t even get to the grocery store. I can’t remember to brush my teeth on a Sunday Morning, or change the laundry, or pick up a friend’s kid at school. There’s so much I [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, sleep, three kidsMarch 26, 2009
Connections
I’ve been making all of our family’s bread now for several months. I try new recipes as I continue to abide by the old favorites. And recently I’ve become hooked on the “no knead” method. Which basically means that you let time do the work of kneading. Which means that for a day or so you have a mushy lump of wet dough hanging out in a bowl on your kitchen counter. It’s covered in plastic wrap, but still, every time I see it I think, “That looks like my post-pregnancy stomach.” ICK. Unfortunately, I cannot adopt the wait-it-out method [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 26, 2009
Spring
Oh my gosh my goodness my glory it’s spring. Thank u spring. Thank u sunshine. I’ve been huddled in a cloud of looming desperation for weeks. Often taking the time to research in-network shrinks but never making the call – I knew that I’d begin to feel this rebirth soon. And now it’s all coming back to me. A feeling of youth. Energy. Equilibrium. The first days of cold brought the toasty hibernation of steaming fires and bold-flavored wine. Then gave way to that bitter cold. I felt sunken – drowned under for so many weeks. But this is the [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kids, unpaid workMarch 23, 2009
Droopy
I’m just too droopy today. Is it because it’s Monday? I dunno. No, no. I think it’s the contacts I’m wearing today. They are making everything appear a little cloudy. Cloudy — droopy. They go together. So here’s the story about the glasses. Dan and I were cuddled on the couch Saturday night watching Twilight under a big huge down comforter. Crow Crow goes the baby over and over again. Okay, I’ll get him a bottle (good god, he’s GOT to stick to a pattern of sleeping through the night!) I crawled back into the cocoon of the comforter. Since [...]
Read More in mind/body, motherhood, relationship, Sarah Writes, sexMarch 22, 2009
In sickness and in …
With five in the family, I am learning, someone always is sick (or injured). Since December members of my family have logged two ear infections; a jaw infection; a round of the stomach bug that included every single combination of typical symptoms that you can think of and took more than two weeks to make the full rounds of the family; endless colds; back strain due to work injury; and neck strain due to sleeping beside an infant (guess who on that one). Oh, and surgery (and it’s preceding symptoms and recovery time), the heart patient living amongst us and [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 19, 2009
A Spoonful of Sugar
Dan and I sat on the couch researching double bike trailers for a bit and then he drifted to the office to do some work. Ugh, work, even the word makes me feel like drooling and shutting down. But he’s not as tied to the need to completely veg after the kids are asleep as I am. So he plops down into the leather office chair, and I can hear the air being forced from the cushion and the familiar settling sound his body makes before the computer, the wheels rolling about to get into work position. Ugh. Work. And [...]
Read More in motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 19, 2009
Overcoming fear
Tonight I put on clean pajamas. And I know, that it’s a guarantee that I will be spit up on. Very soon. But these clean jammies sure feel good. Hey, my body’s even pretty clean, too. The thing is, there are days that I feel threatened by the laundry. There always are piles of dirty laundry. And often there are baskets full of folded laundry yet to be put away and clothes hanging to dry from the shower racks. And then there are the clothes on the bodies of my children, which are kept clean for approximately 2.5 seconds after [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workMarch 18, 2009
Jury Duty
So I had jury duty today. No comment.I’m home now and just got off the treadmill. Trying to reacclimate my body to lunges and crunches and the whomp whomp foot pattern of the treadmill is like another full-time job. I feel invigorated by my run and grateful for the new TV in the basement which allowed me to distract myself from heavy breathing and sticky lips and head straight into the overly dramatic lives of the girls on The L Word. I have nothing and everything to say, and all at once, or not at all. I think I need [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kids, unpaid workMarch 17, 2009
Wine with dinner makes me philosophical
At the end of two days at the office I am so glad to be home and to know that I don’t have to get up and out tomorrow. I can be with my family. At the end of a day with my kids I am so overcome with exasperation that I can’t believe I looked forward to such a day. I try to be grateful for every moment with my children. And of course I am, ultimately. But as the moments are happening, so often filled with whining, talking back, protests, refusals, I find myself wondering how, and why, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, sleep, three kidsMarch 14, 2009
Confusion
Dan left for the city. I’m home again with the three boys. Another day and night and day of meals and snacks and naps – and questions, needs and threats. It seems there are so many of these days, where I am fighting the battle of parenthood alone and just trying to keep it all together. Telling myself to breathe and running little inspirational sayings through my brain like a trumpeted march. “Live your Best Life, Live your BEST Life, Live your Best LIFE.” Yes, I’m a little embarassed to say that I’ve picked up Oprah’s favorite message and used [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kids, unpaid workMarch 13, 2009
Whose idea was this anyway?
What was I thinking? Three children? I wasn’t, not rationally anyway. But the thing is, it’s easy to blame the mayhem on number of children. How many times have I heard about how things change when the parents are outnumbered? The comment about zone defense. (Really, it’s not so much the defensive skills that need to be polished as the offensive; but more about that another time.) But wasn’t it just as out of control when there were only two? After all, the third is only five months old. Yes, it’s not so much the children as everything else. Oh [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids