Sarah and I were talking yesterday about how lucky we are. There are so many reasons, of course, but our conversation centered around family. Our own childhoods, with engaged, educated, interesting, fun parents who each respected their children and encouraged us all to excel, to take risks, to grow. OK, we didn’t use those words during our chat, but that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Having good parents means so very much. Now that we’re both in the thick of it, trying oh so hard to be good parents ourselves, we call upon our own childhood experiences more [...]
Read More in Dad, GG, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, siblings, sisters, special occasions, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 24, 2012
Memories to strive for
November 18, 2011
What if you didn’t know how many stories you had left?
I have always been interested in people and their stories. In who they are and what makes them they way they are and how they feel about all of it—their selves, their lives, their stories. I have many stories—more every day, really. We all do. And at this time of year, we hear so many. Stories of love and stories of heartbreak. Stories of rejoicing and stories of loss. Stories of celebration and stories of devastation. Not all stories are to share. Some are ours only. And right now I’m feeling like I need to hold my personal stories close [...]
Read More in sistersJuly 8, 2011
Line
Every day I walk the line Mother, partner, Mommy, sister, Mama, daughter Writer, 10 minutes for my words. Every day the line bends unexpectedly bringing one me to the front responding, nurturing, listening. Welcoming all ideas. Every day—surprised by the line, I watch as my varied selves exist together, filling me with inspiration. Every day the line of my pen becomes bolder as my lives unite, begging words to find the page.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingSarah: Dude. What’s the secret to banana bread? We shall discuss via phone. :) [Phone rings. Sarah to Jen.] Jen: Dude. The secret to banana bread is to use real butter. Sarah: I used real butter. It never cooks through all the way. I have to keep putting it in the oven for five more minutes. And then I worry that it’s going to get DRY. Jen: Did you use the Bittman recipe? Sarah: I did. Jen: I noticed when I was there last week that your oven cooks unevenly. But you do need to cook it until the top [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sistersMarch 16, 2011
“Cinderella Ate My Daughter”: A Momalom Book Review
As a mother of two daughters—each of whom is unmistakably her own person and, unmistakably, a girl—I have engaged in many conversations about the hows and whys. About the inevitable nature vs. nurture question that comes when each of us finds ourselves with a baby in our arms. New. Untouched. Impossibly vulnerable and sponging up everything around him/her. How do we know why our children are the way they are? How can we isolate their characters from the outside influences, the mood fluctuations of a household, the siblings, the birth order? How do we do just enough to guide our [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kidsMarch 13, 2011
Two years of Momalom—Numbers, words
In exactly two years of blogging, Sarah and I have published 464 posts. Comments on the site total 8,757–a quarter or so are responses by the two of us. According to Statcounter, we have received 98,854 hits since we started using the service. And although I know that the total already has surpassed 100,000, it seems a celebratory milestone, to be reached in the next few days. We have nearly 300 Feedburner subscribers and 199 Facebook fans. On Twitter, Sarah (Momalom) has 1,122 followers and is listed 59 times. I (Momalomjen) have 959 followers and am listed 61 times. This [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 24, 2011
Looking back. Then, looking ahead.
I write less specifically these days about THE three kids. Those three kids that inspired my part of the header. Life. With three kids. I’m in it deeper now. Three is my every day. And the shape of my family informs every part of my day, many of my thoughts, much of my planning ahead. But it’s less inspiring, somehow. It’s there, but it’s not the only focus. It’s just the way it is. As a woman I met recently put it, “Three is the new two.” Yes, I thought, both at the time and since. Yes. It is. Three [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingDecember 10, 2010
Gifted: Riches where there aren’t any.
This year: More frugal than ever penny pinching, stretching resources, being creative. It’s difficult to have the confidence that these three children of ours aren’t seeing the stressors. They aren’t. I know they aren’t. But. But there is so much more. Much more that I wish I could give. Not only from their wish lists but in experiences, too. Next year, I tell myself. Next year, definitely. Meanwhile, this year: Frugal, yes. Also a trip to Colorado! Thirty hours in the van. Five of us! My bank account is paltry. But. But the riches of my life? Abound. A road [...]
Read More in Dad, holidays, Jen Writes, motherhood, siblings, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids)December 3, 2010
Caption contest winner revealed!
Remember this? Anyway, there were 16 responses to our Caption Contest, and they were all great. Thanks to all of you who played along. Fourteen entries came through the comments. And two came via e-mail—a brave short story written by a blog friend and a touching tribute to, ahem, me, written by my college-days friend Rachel. But, because we called it a contest (and because we said we would), we selected one grand winner and 15 runner ups. So. After much deliberating, we decided to go with Bina’s: Internal thought: “Ok. If I stand like thiiiis and smile pretty, maybe [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, siblings, sisters, three kidsSeptember 22, 2010
Making the most of things
Today I ran out of gas. For which I have no excuse–other than my poor math skills–gas lights being what they are in modern vehicles. While I made a rescue-request call to Sweetie, who was working less than a mile away, my girls laughed at me. When I hung up the phone, I laughed, too. It was kind of funny. And we were safe. And close to home. We could easily have walked home or to a nearby gas station. But while we waited for Daddy’s Roadside Service, the girls entertained each other in our cavernous minivan (E didn’t even [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, siblings, sisters, three kidsJuly 26, 2010
move a little closer, would you?
Yesterday we spent the day together. It was bliss. You, me, and 6 kids under 8. 2 pools and 2 noodles and 2 life vests. 2 mommies holding everyone up in the water, watching our kids paddle away, make big waves, jump freely and fearlessly off of the edge. It allowed us to also jump freely off of the edge, that place that makes you pull your hair out, raise your voice more than you’d like, cry a little in the bathroom, stare blankly out the kitchen window while you wash another dish. We knew that our day was filled [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids)July 3, 2010
Housekeeping
We’re not ungrateful. We’re really really not. But we are frazzled and busy and crazed half the time. And because of these endearing qualities we have neglected to acknowledge three lovely bloggers who recently have bestowed on us awards. AWARDS, people. So, without further ado (ahem, frazzlement), thanks to Maria at Mom of Three Seeks Sanity for The rules ARE these: 1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER! 2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award: (a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sisters, three kidsApril 12, 2010
Happy Birthday, Shaggy! Shall We Plan a Camping Trip?
P.S. Geez, was I a TOTALLY lousy big sister? Not letting you in the tent? Geez. P.P.S. Or, wait, no. I remember. You were a pesky little sister, right? P.P.P.S. Good thing none of it matters now.
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kidsJanuary 13, 2010
Remember Gremlins?
I wasn’t going to write anything at all with this. However, I feel it is vital to point out that Tammy was Sarah’s beloved Cabbage Patch doll. As far as I know, all other references are to actual people. (But don’t ask me about the Nerds in hearts.)
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kidsI have two separate text documents on my computer filled with attempts at explaining my reaction to Jen’s post from yesterday. It’s important for me to respond to her even though I’ve been having some trouble finding all the words. She has spun a stimulating thread here. I have read and reread the insightful comments from our dedicated readers, and it is obvious that her words have inspired a wealth of thoughts and emotions about our roles as parents. How we foster independence in our children. How much or little we intervene with their choices. How accepting we are of [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, sisters, three kidsNovember 18, 2009
The Threads of Sisterhood
Pigtails. Aren’t I cute? This is me, age 5, Kindergarten. I adored that sweater in every way that a little girl can adore an article of clothing. The buttons were white hearts hand-painted with some pinky, girly, swirly somethings. And I was as cute as those buttons for a day or two—until my mom was fed up with finding two eyelet ribbons in my back pack at the end of every day instead wrapped around my rubberbands. She threatened to cut off my hair if I didn’t stop pulling out my pigtails. Or my braids. Or my Mindys. Remember Mindys? [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, sistersOctober 27, 2009
The days of no me before motherhood
So I kind of abandoned Sarah this week. Talk about SCARY. I’d been walking around for days frustrated with just about every big aspect of life. (More than usual.) Money. Career. Relationship. Mommyhood. And I’d started to take it all out on my kids. And my partner. I was having imaginary conversations. Out loud. It was getting pretty ugly. And scary. Because I wasn’t making anything better. I was avoiding real conversations that needed to be had. And I was perpetuating a vicious circle of “why am I the only one” thinking. Why am I the only one to see [...]
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, home, housework, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, paid work, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingOctober 9, 2009
I’ve never even touched a cigarette
So. My story is not as dramatic as Sarah’s. Haven’t read hers? You should. I’d link to it here, but you’d probably go and read it. And you’d likely never return. It’s quite gripping. (Maybe I’ll give you another shot later.) My story is so undramatic that it’s difficult to know how to tell it. What to mention. What to leave out. I was the good girl. I didn’t drink. I didn’t smoke. No drugs. No parties. No dates. I’ve never even touched a cigarette. My mom says that when I reached age 5 the hard parts of raising me [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, writingAugust 22, 2009
30 Years Between Them
Here they are. The birthday duo. Their first encounter. 2002 That year we began a journey. As sisters. And then as mothers. And here we are. We have arrived. Happy Birthday Sister. I love you.
Read More in birthday, Sarah Writes, sistersAugust 21, 2009
Birthdays.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I am exactly 30 years older than my oldest nephew. I remember the day Sarah called to tell me she was expecting. She said she had a very early birthday present for me. It was a difficult phone call. She and I were not close then. We were geographically distant, emotionally distant. We were living very different lives, and we rarely spoke on the phone. I know now how difficult that call was for her to make. And I know that I didn’t respond well. I’m sure I didn’t congratulate her. Frankly, I was shocked. And [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, oldest child, sisters, three kidsJune 19, 2009
Should you judge a book (or your sister) by its cover?
I received an e-mail from a friend a few nights ago that brought me back to summer vacation, almost five years ago. Not to the beaches or sitting in a hammock reading, or to introducing B to his extended family for the first time. But to a time when I was in judgment of my sister’s behavior. Toward a book. The e-mail: “Do you save the dust jackets that come with your children’s books? I take them off because I know they’re going to just get ripped. But then I have no idea what to do with them…” Around the [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, sistersMay 16, 2009
My Brain is Like the Surface of My Desk
OK people. I’ve been writing and writing and writing, and nothing is coming together. Maybe it’s because every surface in my house looks like this: Or maybe it’s because my sister and I are actually in the same house today, which means that there are SIX kids surrounding us. Which means: Revolving naps. Constant snacks. Crying kids. Slamming doors. And I am trying to write some post that has a LASTING message. Sorry oh you faithful readers (whom we LOVE), it ain’t gonna happen today. I can’t get it done. It’s too loud and crazy here. Plus, Sarah’s about to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kids (six kids)