Where have we been? Sarah broke her wrist a few weeks back, so it’s been tough for her to write. I have no such physical excuse. But I think maybe the blogging part of me broke a little bit recently. I’ve been pushing this place out of my mind, away from my consciousness. It doesn’t feel right. And yet, it feels a relief, too. It’s so impossible to do it all. It’s so impossible to do even what needs to be done. (I took the weekend off from laundry. Felt good at the time, but I know many of you [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingFebruary 13, 2012
Broken wrist and a broken blog?
January 24, 2012
Memories to strive for
Sarah and I were talking yesterday about how lucky we are. There are so many reasons, of course, but our conversation centered around family. Our own childhoods, with engaged, educated, interesting, fun parents who each respected their children and encouraged us all to excel, to take risks, to grow. OK, we didn’t use those words during our chat, but that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Having good parents means so very much. Now that we’re both in the thick of it, trying oh so hard to be good parents ourselves, we call upon our own childhood experiences more [...]
Read More in Dad, GG, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, siblings, sisters, special occasions, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 20, 2012
Processing
Too many words Too little time Instead of progress There is procrastination Waiting for opportunity Accepting the impossible Creativity and mothering: Stop and go
Read More in motherhood, three kids, writingJanuary 13, 2012
Needing to need
“You might want to say awesome.” Words straight out of my 3-year-old’s mouth. Apparently I didn’t praise her quickly enough–in this case for getting herself dressed. Or maybe it wasn’t the getting dressed itself, rather the choice of clothing: A fleece pullover of dinosaur print that, not so incidentally, has a matching fleece dinosaur-print hat, complete with stegasaurus-like spikes. She was getting dressed for school–an event that happens only twice per week–and I gathered that she’d been planning the ensemble for some time. Sweetie and I have laughed about this particular sentence spoken by our spirited and strong-willed daughter, who [...]
Read More in GG, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kids, writing, youngest childJanuary 10, 2012
Fulfilled yet still wanting
I knew what I wanted. A book on my shelf with my name on its spine. I set a goal. A weekly goal. A yearly goal. A goal related to a certain age. That age. The one that used to signify over the hill but that now might be a mark of the last years of youth. Except for a soft middle, crowed eyes, gray hair on me, this woman who is so, so tired. I don’t feel young. I feel like I am at a place where the opportunities slip away faster than they come to light. I feel [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kids, writingDecember 29, 2011
Repost: Letter redux
I first published the letter below last January, at the outset of 2011. As I re-read it tonight I felt sad and empty with the realization that a few short months after I wrote those words, I lost that self for a time. I should elaborate. But what’s most important is that I’m back now. My better self found. Or I’m here again: In this place, thinking about the living that happens beyond the writing. So much has changed this past year. And yet what is important is so fully the same. The people with whom I share this life, [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, repost, three kids, writingDecember 20, 2011
On lists and writing and the Christmas season
I have ideas and words swimming through my brain. Add time and quiet and I might be able to coerce them into a satisfying piece of writing. I have a list of things to do. And a list of things to buy. And a list of things to make. And a list of when to address each list. There is no time. There is no quiet. Not at this time of year, especially. At the beginning of December I actively acknowledged to myself that I was not going to meet my writing goals for the year. And so? I let [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingDecember 13, 2011
A six-word post that didn’t post
True: We posted daily in November False: We accomplished November’s writing goals As it turns out? Posting ≠ writing Well, not necessarily, anyway. New goal = Write: More frequently. Post: When possible.
Read More in three kids, writingDecember 2, 2011
True, though so far from perfect
True: I thought of the perfect six-word post while driving familiar roads on the way home from school with (only!) one child behind me and my thoughts (almost) to myself. Also true: I cannot recreate perfect or even, now, something vaguely similar to the six words that flowed line after line in exact representation of how I’ve been feeling today (low, sorry for myself, weepy even). Truest: I have so very much. Truest of all: Perfect doesn’t exist. (And that’s worth remembering every day.)
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 1, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Getting it Right?
Today I’m so pleased to welcome Sarah from Standing in the Shadows, who saved me some work by sending in the following bio of herself. But first I have to add that I long have read Sarah’s work in local and not-so-local publications and was so pleased to meet her IN PERSON about a month ago. It was a brief face-to-face, after we recognized each other across the room, almost movie style. I wish we’d had a chance to talk further, but we make up for it on Twitter (follow her at @standshadows). So, without further ado, my almost neighbor [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingNovember 30, 2011
Silver vision
My heart is still swollen from a Monday night surprise that leaves me unable to write my own words. And so I share instead a few stanzas from a song that I’m listening to right now. If you recognize these words and maybe the melody plays in your mind and you find yourself thinking of strings and harmony, maybe you know what the surprise was—concert tickets tucked into an early Christmas card and landing in my hand when I got home from work. Sweetie and I don’t go out just the two of us very often. And Monday was a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, relationship, special occasions, three kidsNovember 29, 2011
Rain
The rain drums against the bulkhead, playing a tinny tune outside the window at my bedside. I lie curled beneath blankets soft and warm, listening to the watery chorus. I’m awake enough to enjoy my sleeping family. I’m sleepy enough to let the sounds of this springlike November night wash away all the thoughts left from the day. This is a moment to savor.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 28, 2011
A promise
I sit and I look through seven-and-a-half years of photos of my beautiful kids. There’s a smile on my face and a tear threatening the corner of my eye. I fight the sadness that they are growing up so fast. Too fast. Parenting is full of mixed emotion. Everyday contradictions. Pride and uncertainty colliding in bursts inside of me. And I promise myself now that I will appreciate it all: These children. My children. Their moments of miraculousness. Their wonder. Their joy. Their accomplishments. The gift of being their mother. There’s just so much to this life. So much to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 25, 2011
Thanks
My Sweetie and our three children— four beautiful people who shine bright— leave me thankful every single day. And shining brighter, too. Twinkling, even.
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, relationship, three kidsNovember 23, 2011
Pies
Read More in three kids
November 20, 2011
One + one = Quality time
“Hey, B,” I ask. “So do you want to go to the pool?” It’s so beautiful out (Almost 60 degrees! In November!) that I half feel like I shouldn’t suggest an indoor activity. But yesterday after swim lessons my son asked if we could go to free swim soon. And with a 3-year-old with a broken ankle I didn’t think the answer would be yes. But now the 3-year-old and her older sister are playing together at a friend’s house, and my boy and I have an hour or so to spend alone. I say no so very often to [...]
Read More in exercise, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 19, 2011
In which I contemplate a non-traditional holiday card
How is it that in a year’s worth of photos I have so very few of all three of my children together? And that in not one of those photos are all children smiling or looking at the camera or even fully in the frame? The good news is that if I wanted to send out a more non-traditional photo, I have plenty to choose from: (Hey, at least there’s an actual child of mine in that last photo.) So, what are you doing for a holiday card this year?
Read More in holidays, home, Jen Writes, parenthood, three kidsNovember 17, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: The Darkest Hour
Today it’s Janin’s turn. She became a mom of three in just four years. She says, “I am a housewife and have two boys, ages 7½ and 6½ and a daughter, age 3 ½. I’ve lived in Central Mexico for 7 years. Before that, we lived in the U.S.—in California. We live in a small town, and we like the slow paced life that Mexico offers.” She and her husband were high school sweethearts and are about to celebrate their 11th anniversary. Janin adds, “English is not my first language, but oddly enough, it is my language of choice in [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingNovember 13, 2011
Broken ankle day 8
A lot of time spent on the floor. But every day it slows her down less. And it certainly hasn’t stopped her from playing with her brother’s construction vehicles.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, youngest childNovember 12, 2011
On formative experiences, past and present.
A weekend of friends. A sunburn. Conversation. Camaraderie. Picture taking. A dinner. A brunch. A row. Reminiscing. Reunions can be fraught with the unknown. With vanity that rears its ugly head, pointing out my too-long, uncut hair. My unfit middle. My dry, blotchy skin and tired eyes. Vanity can hold me back, grip me in the chest. Make me want to be invisible. But you can’t have the full experience and be invisible. You have to risk being the most wrinkly, most tired-looking, most frazzled, nervous person in the room (or at the boathouse, as it were). You have to [...]
Read More in body image, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, special occasions, three kidsNovember 11, 2011
Three happy kids = One happy mama
So many childhood moments worth saving Few more heartwarming than this one: ********
Read More in Jen Writes, siblings, three kidsNovember 10, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: On Having Three
Today we welcome Amy of The Never-True Tales. She’s a mom of three boys, a great writer and the first person responsible for helping me (Jen) to accept the Twitterverse into my world. (You can follow her on Twitter here). You can connect with Amy on Facebook, too. And here’s a link to her “travel gig.” If you’re thinking of taking a trip with your kids (no matter how many), check it out. On Having Three Having three means living with with odd numbers. There’s no counting by twos: it’s either not-enough or one-left-over. It means dividing sets of twin-pops [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingNovember 9, 2011
summer
I know it’s cliche, but where did it go? Winter is fast approaching. I bought snow boots the other day. Of course, they don’t fit and I have to take them back, but at least I was thinking about snow in advance of snow actually landing on my lap. Well, that’s not really true, I suppose, since we just experienced a freak October snowstorm and were powerless for 7 days. Can you believe there are people in CT who still do not have power? Ugh. I feel horribly for them. So I’m daydreaming about summer. Not really because I want [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 8, 2011
Crossing. To safety.
There’s a part at the end of my favorite book, Crossing to Safety, where one of the main characters is dying. She’s a matriarch. She’s a force. She’s the one to whom everyone looks—for direction, for ideas, for guidance. During her whole life, she has run the show. And now the show is her death. She’s trying to die with grace. She’s trying to make it easy on everyone else. She chooses her best female friend and her daughter and her sister to ferry her to the place she has chosen to die. Her husband is furious. He feels left [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kids, writingNovember 7, 2011
halvsies
Max, do you want your sandwich cut in half? No. Places sandwich on butcher block table and illustrates with large chef’s knife. In half this way? Or diagonal? I don’t want it cut. You want it whole? YES! Pause. Older brother has something to say. (Because when doesn’t he, really?): Max, I like mine cut in half. Ironically it makes me eat faster. Jamis, did you just say “ironically”? Yeah. Why? Oh, I don’t know, because you’re NINE and you used it CORRECTLY! And also, so very many things go faster when you break them in two. Go smoother when [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, siblings, three kidsNovember 6, 2011
the dark
We were without power for seven days. 7. Seven. SEVEN! When my husband texted me last night I was in disbelief. “We Have Power!!!!” And then I called him. And he was giddy. And I knew it was true. But I wasn’t surely sure about it until we drove home and I saw the streetlamp and the stoplight just a few houses from ours. 50% of our town is still without. I’m feeling a bit guilty for being one of the ones who is not currently sitting in the dark, charging phones in the car, dealing with ashes and soot, [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 5, 2011
fast forward
He’s three. But here he’s fifteen. With equal parts sulky attitude and alluring confidence. How is it possible I can see 15 in 3? How is it possible I know already how fast it will go by but there are days I still wish it away? Even with my baby. My littlest boy. My snugglemama child. Sigh. Seems I’m always trying to keep up while forever looking back and forward, forward and back, all at the same time.
Read More in three kidsNovember 4, 2011
What could be better?
Power: Heat! Hot water! Warm food! (And I didn’t even mention TV.)
Read More in home, three kidsNovember 3, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: A Tale of Two Boingerheads
Let’s take a break from the tales of power outages and cancelled Halloween, shall we? It’s Thursday, and that means it’s time for wisdom from a fellow mom of three. Actually, Boingerhead is a working mother of FOUR who teaches her kids when to hold’em, when to fold’em and when to order a pizza. Find her words of dubious wisdom at Boingerhead Blog and Boingerhead Twitter. A Tale of Two Boingerheads People frequently ask me what it is like to have four kids. How do I do it? How do I keep myself together, keep the household going, have a [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingNovember 1, 2011
Ten inches of snow and two days without power (and we had it easy)
It’s November. Sarah and I had plans to do NaBloPoMo this month. And then our sister date got postponed. And then November was a week away and we hadn’t firmed up our plans (which of us writes which days, etc.). And then it was Saturday night, and Sarah and I both lost power. And then it was Sunday. And then it was Monday. And then, just as my family and I were trying to decide if we were going to abandon our house and try to make the trip to Momalomsmom’s house, our power went back on. It’s strange not [...]
Read More in three kidsOctober 28, 2011
11:00 a.m. to 11:09 a.m.
Twenty minutes. Twenty things to do. Nineteen of them for other people. One for me. One thing: Write. Not time enough for grand ideas Not time enough for starting anew Not time to revise what’s there Not time to add to it. And so I sit. Nimble fingers, ideas whispering from a tired mind. I tap out a few words. Reminding myself that 20 (nine?) minutes isn’t enough to do 20 things Reminding myself that sitting, thinking, writing even for the briefest, still moment is a sound decision. For me.
Read More in chores, home, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingOctober 27, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: The Dynamics of Three
It’s Thursday again! Already! And this week, I’m pleased to introduce Cathy Reaves. Cathy lives in Orinda, Calif., with her husband and their three boys, ages 16, 13 and 7. She works full-time in technology but still manages to run the house and find time to have fun. Skiing with the family, golfing with her husband and playing pool competitively with her girlfriends—all the while tending to all the family activities—keeps her active and quite busy. Check out her blog www.alliwanttosay.com or connect with her on Twitter @mecreaves. ************************** The Dynamics of Three I grew up having only one sister. [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingOctober 25, 2011
Rainbow
I saw a rainbow on my drive in to work today. I’m a sappy, sentimental, metaphor-loving writer. You can imagine how happy I was—practically grinning—to find myself driving under a perfect arc of ROY-G-BIV. I do not condone taking photos while driving, but I couldn’t resist. This photo captures not even half of the architecturally breathtaking half-circle that created a tunnel over Route 9. Only once before have I seen such a rainbow. It was a few years ago, driving the reverse trip. Leaving the town in which I work, and in which Sweetie’s sister also lives. Our sweet family, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, special occasions, three kids, work, writingOctober 24, 2011
Clean house. Clear mind.
All weekend I cleaned. All. Weekend. With exception of a few hours on the soccer sidelines Saturday morning, I spent two full days de-cluttering, sorting, sweeping, dusting, washing, organizing, digging out, scrubbing and generally donning rubber gloves, ripped jeans and an old college T-shirt. Our house looks anew. And smells a bit like peppermint castile soap, which I used liberally not just because everything needed washing but because rodents don’t like peppermint. And in the darkest hours of night, the sounds of skittering in our humble abode can be deafening. Especially as the nights are growing colder. I know it [...]
Read More in home, housework, Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 21, 2011
Silence:
People, I love Thursdays. I love them because it means there’s fun, new content on our blog! From one of you, out there in cyberspace! I love all of your different voices. I love all of the comments you leave each other. I love having a community of moms of three. It seriously helps my sanity to know that Sarah and I aren’t the only one’s losing our minds at any given time over the various realities of raising three children. It’s difficult work. And this week we welcome Tasha, a mom to three boys. She and Sarah have that–and [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingOctober 18, 2011
Incomplete
I’ve taken a little time off from writing. It’s been about 10 days. But it seems much longer. I’ve wanted to hit the keyboard for a few days. Now that I’m here, though, I feel klunky. I don’t know where to start. It’s not that I haven’t had time to sit and write. That’s not a new barrier to my output. And it’s not that I haven’t had anything to write about. Finding ideas is not a stumbling block for me. It’s that I needed to do more than Just Write. I needed to process. I needed to focus on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingOctober 13, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Social Media Rockstar
This week it’s Melissa’s turn. Melissa is one of my favorite writers in the blogosphere. She’s smart, funny and—most important—real. Also, she had three kids two kids ago. Now she has five. Occasionally she and I connect on Twitter in a timely fashion, but it’s rare. I think you’ll enjoy reading why. Social Media Rockstar I have to tell you a secret. It’s this: I suck at the internet. And by “the internet” I mean social media. The Twitter, you know. Le Facebook. Google+. (Is that math?) I am terrible at those. I open HootSuite and think: wow! everyone else [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingOctober 7, 2011
From patient to mother: A birth story
It’s likely my life was saved by my obstetrician. There I was, heading blithely to his office for my regular check up–weekly now. I was wearing my favorite blue linen maternity pants, even though it wasn’t quite warm enough for them. It was my first official day of leave from work. A Tuesday. I was looking forward to a few weeks at home. Folding onesies, reading baby books, finally settling on a name for our son. Seven words—and my doctor’s eyes fixed on mine—changed my life forever: “You’re going to have this baby today.” These were the days before Sweetie [...]
Read More in health, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsOctober 6, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Three is Magic
Here we are again. Let’s get right to it, shall we? Tiffany is a WAHM of three. Olivia, 10, Gabe, 9 and Matthew, almost 6. Olivia has Cri du Chat syndrome and was the motivation for Tiffany starting her blog, Elastamom’s Excerpts. Please do follow her on Twitter. Three is Magic When we decided to start a family, we didn’t know how many kids we wanted. I said 2, he said 4, but after a miscarriage with our first pregnancy, we were just hoping for one. When Olivia was born with Cri du Chat syndrome and a mere 13 months [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingOctober 5, 2011
Daily demands
I have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish today. One is crossed off. I have finished half of another (small) task. The rest of the list is untouched. It is 2:20 p.m., which means that I have to leave the house in no more than 30 minutes to go pick up the two older kids. Nothing will get crossed off of my list once all three kids are home. There will be snacks and after school time spent together. I’m only home at this time of day twice each week, and I like to see my kids [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 30, 2011
How to write a blog post
Sit amidst clutter: papers, clothes, crumbs (take no notice of the mess) Keep one ear open for conflict (raised voices, crying; thud, slap, smack) Try to recall the amazing idea that hit you at 2 a.m. (help your toddler in the bathroom) Fight the frustration of not remembering Start pounding at the keys anyway Breathe as you hit your stride (hop up, shake Goldfish in cup) Start feeling confident at the tapping of your fingers telling your story Smile. Engage in positive self talk. You can do this! It’s possible! (Glance up at the clock, insistent) Calculate the minutes left [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 29, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Confessions
Meet Heather. Guess what? She has THREE KIDS: Hannah, 6; Connor, 2; and Jack, 6 months. Heather describes herself as “a regular ol’ June Cleaver; minus the clean house, trim figure and smiley disposition.” I’m guessing a few of you might find yourself nodding your heads after reading that sentence. Just wait till you take in her very honest writing. Confessions 1. At any given moment if you were to show up at my door, you would most likely find A) me disciplining, i.e., yelling at, my kids; B) one or more kids crying simultaneously; C) one or more children [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingSeptember 27, 2011
No.
You know those people who “won’t take no for an answer?” I’m not one of them. I expect no. I don’t ask or pursue because I assume no. Of course this makes a yes very exciting. It also raises the yes stakes. High. I’m not a person who takes no for an answer. And now I ask myself why. Why? Am I afraid to fail? [Maybe. Although I think I'm afraid to not be ready to try. Is that the same thing?] Am I afraid to put myself first? [Yes.] Am I afraid or am I just me? I remember [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 23, 2011
Friday morning all to myself
Right now: Three kids in school Me alone in a quiet library To write: Blog post warm up Then words, sentences, paragraphs. Novel progress Question: Should I be pacing myself? Truth: Writing makes my heart beat Faster and faster with every word Answer: Let the words fall quickly Let the words set the pace
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 22, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: the goats
Can you believe we’re already in the third week of MomMamaMommy! This week I’m thrilled to welcome Kate, who introduces herself and shares her work, goats and all, starting now. the bio: kate lives in oakland, ca and is a wife to one, a mom to four (9, 6, 4, and almost 1), and a montessori teacher at the 0-3 level. when she isn’t doing all of those things, kate loves to read, run, knit, hook rugs, and quilt. she says yes to oxford commas, tattoos, and new zealand whites and no to capitalization, shorts, and hot weather. the goats: [...]
Read More in guest post, three kidsSeptember 20, 2011
Just Write: In which the critic gets beaten down and the words begin to flow
Just write. Sure. Easier said than done. The inner critic is almost as loud as the children, forever in the background. Forever leaving the background to enter my space. Here. Now. Right now. Just write. Fill the white space with your words. My words. The writer writes. The words must come. You cannot wait for the right words or the right time or the right place. You have to demand them now. Frequently. Always. Every day. Every minute. The more you demand them, the easier it is to see them flow from your fingers. Yes. Flow! Right onto the screen. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingSeptember 15, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Look at Those Eyes.
This week I’m pleased to introduce Marilee Haynes. Marilee lives with her husband and their three children in Huntersville, N.C. Originally from Michigan, she’s been a southerner for more than five years, during which time she has had three children, ages 4-1/2, 3 and 19 months. She spends her days caring for them while stealing away moments to write children’s books. She’s currently working on her third middle-grade novel and hopes soon to “capture an agent’s interest” and eventually be published. Read, comment, follow her on Twitter! @mgwritermhaynes. ********** Look at Those Eyes “Look at those eyes.” No matter where [...]
Read More in guest post, three kidsSeptember 9, 2011
Young at Heart
Last night my family and I walked together to the town center to see this amazing singing group. (Take a look. I’ll wait here.) There are few more moving examples of life lived to its fullest. We should all be so lucky.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 8, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Changed Parenting, Changed Friendships
Welcome to the first week of MomMamaMommy! I’m pleased to introduce Leigh Ann Torres, who’s leading off our new series. Leigh Ann is a freelance writer and blogger living in Austin, Texas. She’s a writer, artist, wife, mother, cook, maid, bookkeeper … all around genie in a bottle, except, she says, you only get one wish, and it has to be reasonable! Take a read and show her some love, won’t you? ************ Changed Parenting, Changed Friendships Many moms say that introducing child number three isn’t that hard. Going from one to two is hard, but going from two to [...]
Read More in guest post, three kidsSeptember 7, 2011
Eye level
I didn’t get teary eyed at kindergarten drop-off yesterday. My middle child wearing her too-heavy backpack let go of my hand and headed straight into her new classroom for her first day. She paused for a moment in front of one of her new classmates (in tears) until one of the teachers swooped in, bending down to my nearly 6-year-old’s eye level. Then I paused for a moment, wishing I could be a fly on a the wall of this classroom–the same one my now second-grader started his own school career in. But before I completed the thought I turned [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 1, 2011
One week till the unveiling of the new MomMamaMommy!
Beginning next Thursday, we will be featuring guest writers to Momalom on a (we hope) fairly regular basis. We’re thrilled that we already have a half dozen submissions, and we hope that more of you out there will join in. If you’re interested in submitting your work and you have (at least) three kids, here’s a rundown of suggestions (which also can be found on our Facebook page). • Your submission should in some way revolve around you having three children. You may want to narrow in on one aspect (I once calculated that I wash at least 49 pairs [...]
Read More in three kids, writingAugust 19, 2011
Curiosity
A sleepover for my energetic son: Late night with friends. Goofiness. Noise. (An unexpected night in a tent.) A walk downtown. Three of us A sweet girl on my left A sweet girl on my right Their soft, warm hands in mine. We form a chain. Smile broadly. Wonder what their brother is doing. (An unexpected night on the town.)
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsAugust 15, 2011
Countdown: 53 weeks
A week from today I’ll be 39. Which means in 53 weeks I’ll be 40. I’m not one to put a certain weight on a certain age, but 40 seems like a good target age. For reaching a goal. For finishing a novel, say. As it turns out, I have a novel in progress. I used to be embarrassed to say this out loud. To tell anyone but my closest friends, my sister, my mom. Much to my decreasing surprise I found out that everyone else had one, too. Writing a novel, it seemed, was just one of those things [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingAugust 12, 2011
Manuscript
The words come. The words go. There are better ones. Always better. Then, no, the first phrasing worked. Back to that. Yes. That. Good. And then, upon rereading the draft I realize. First person is better. Let’s not be omniscient. And so the revisions begin again. 1,000 words 2,000. Until the certainty. Omniscience. Yes. Back to the original draft. Confident That the voice is right now It was right all along. Sigh. The words they come. And go. And somehow add up. To 21,357. I commit to the goal: 75,000. I am almost (gasp!) one-third there.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingAugust 3, 2011
Everyday. Dreaming.
This morning I have done laundry. And dishes. I have considered the merits of sweeping the floor before lunch. I have gone upstairs to find “my big piggy, mama!” I have given my 2-year-old a big bowl of cherries and helped her wash her face and hands. I have listened to the Wiggles, whose grating voices blare from the red toy guitar that always seems to reappear from the latest place I’ve hidden it. I have had my coffee, and a handful of Ritz crackers. Returned emails. Read the paper. Finished a book. Found a missing sneaker. This was not [...]
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 29, 2011
Disappointment. Then, Hope?
Sweet: How I want to feel. Sour: How I feel these days. Maybe savory is in my future. A bridge from here to there.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJuly 19, 2011
501 on the coast of South Carolina
The last post, Sarah’s most recent and one of her best, was our 500th here at Momalom. 500. Now that seems worthy of ceremony, even if it’s after the fact. But ceremony is far from our reality right now, here during post 501, because we are on vacation, Sarah and I. With our spouses. And our brother and sister-in-law. And all of our nine combined children (eldest: 8.9; youngest: 2.9). And our mother (Geege!) We are on vacation. And we are having fun. Swim, snack, rinse, nap, repeat. Sarah’s husband has certain bartending abilities, and he sent me to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, siblings, special occasions, three kids, three kids (six kids)July 13, 2011
Waking Up
I’m waking up to life. I find myself welling up with tears all the time now. Realizing that there is beauty in life, so much beauty. I cry because I know it now. I cry because I might have missed a lot of it pass before me. I cry in anticipation of other moments yet to come, moments I want to be sure I am present for. On July 4th we braved the crowds, found a square of grass next to the bog, and settled in for the fireworks. About ten minutes in my little guys started getting antsy, asking [...]
Read More in three kidsJuly 10, 2011
10 minutes on a Sunday morning
Sunday morning, and the day stretches out before me in that proverbial way a day does when there’s nothing planned and only one parent home and three kids walking aimlessly through the house. Run-on sentences fill my head. There are the things that I could do: Laundry. Dishes. Get down on the floor and play with the kids. There are the things that I want to do: Sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and gaze up at the trees. Watch the cardinal couple flirting. Prepare for the day by preparing words for the page. There are the [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 8, 2011
Line
Every day I walk the line Mother, partner, Mommy, sister, Mama, daughter Writer, 10 minutes for my words. Every day the line bends unexpectedly bringing one me to the front responding, nurturing, listening. Welcoming all ideas. Every day—surprised by the line, I watch as my varied selves exist together, filling me with inspiration. Every day the line of my pen becomes bolder as my lives unite, begging words to find the page.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingJune 17, 2011
Toddler speak
“Tind of,” she says—head tilted, eyes squinting, hands out, palms up. And though I forgot the question that came from me—insistent, impatient I am tickled by her answer, her expression. Always beyond her years. For more Six Word Fridays, visit the lovely Melissa.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, youngest childJune 9, 2011
Reading life
Sometimes I say no to things I never, ever thought I would. Like when my son asks if he can read. “Not tonight,” I say. “It’s late. You need to sleep.” Really? A little voice in my head is saying. Really? You’re telling him he CAN’T READ? In my seven-plus years of parenting, each of my children has achieved milestones large and small. Just last week my 2-year-old decided to potty train herself. Surely that should go in the record books, right? And it does. It’s miraculous. She’s done it. Almost entirely on her own, with the minor encouragement of [...]
Read More in three kidsMay 31, 2011
Choreography
Last weekend, my oldest daughter and forever middle child had her first full-length ballet recital. I cried. (Of course.) She didn’t. She flitted onstage and off, fully embracing her butterfly role. Oh the pride. To see her up there in her blue flowing dress, flowers in her tightly wound orange hair. To see the older dancers and remember my own years on stage. I had to hold back. I had to stop from thinking about myself. About my own childhood. Adolescence. About all that I wanted to accomplish and haven’t yet. About all that I have accomplished—love, a life together, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsMay 23, 2011
love wraps
I left the dinner table. Again. See what you did? You made mommy leave. ___ Daniel is working late tonight. Late again. Late nearly every night. So we eat kid food for dinner, perch on the couch cushions cupping bowls of cereal, stop for Chinese at Triple Star, snack on pint-sized bags of Frito-Lays. But not tonight.. ___ What do you want to eat? I’m gonna cook. How about Sloppy Joe’s? Uhn-uhh. Tacos? YEAH, sure, Tacos! (thought pause) You know why I made a face at the Sloppy Joe’s, mom? It’s not because I don’t like them, it’s just because [...]
Read More in motherhood, siblings, three kidsMay 20, 2011
“Charming”
My mother used to always say when we kids did something unpleasant. That displeased tone in her voice at odds with the lucky-sounding word.
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, three kidsMay 13, 2011
Wisdom (n.)
The ability to see the beauty in the messy moments of parenting. Add your own six-word wisdom at www.makingthingsup.com.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, youngest childI intended to get all up on my Poetry-Kicks-Ass high horse last month. You know, during NATIONAL POETRY MONTH. Somehow, the month completely got away from me. Then, this morning, I was listening to a CD of Billy Collins reading his own poetry. (Have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy the public library and the treasures that I find there?) Many of the poems Collins read I have read. Over and over. I own all but his most recent volume of poetry. But to hear a poem read in the voice of its author is such a gift. I [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 8, 2011
For GG on Mother’s Day
Two Sundays ago it was GG’s birthday. And I wanted to write a tribute to her, much in the way that Sarah did last year. But this year (and, to my surprise, for the first time in her life) my mom shared her birthday with Easter, and so the time I would have liked to spend on the tribute was spent in the company of the Easter Bunny. And now it’s Mother’s Day. And I started writing this post a week ago, trying to grasp the next chance to pay tribute to the remarkable woman who is my mother. And [...]
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 6, 2011
Yesterday
I was at my wits’ end. Oh, wait. That’s Every Single Day. Mothering is so full of repetition. Moods. Chores. Needs. Meals. Noise. Mess. Sometimes it helps to stop. STOP. And remember: I am here, now. And I chose this. (I did!) Yesterday I was at the end of a rope never long enough. But today I’m not there yet.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMay 5, 2011
Wheels turning
I get in the car and start driving And my brain awakens to the ideas it’s been holding back Amidst the morning needs of getting out the door Helping to get others out the door. I drive and I think and my awakened synapses fire (is that the terminology? is that the science of it?) Ideas come from every direction demanding my attention And I try to keep my focus on the road Without losing sight of the creativity that sustains me That demands my time and my dedication and my patience The same needs that so often are taken [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingApril 30, 2011
Words in solitude
It is quiet. I am curled up on GG’s red couch.Wrapped in her lush, blue, faux-velvet throw. It is quiet (still!) I am alone.The lamplight glows just beyond my shoulder. It is quiet.And the nighttime sounds of this house are almost as familiar as those I hear from my own bed, 90 miles away. If I could hear them now from my nest on the couch, the purrs of my sleeping children–upstairs in their GG beds–surely they would sound the same here as everywhere. But it is quiet. It is. It is quiet. And it is glorious.
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, three kids, writingApril 22, 2011
A quick (six) words about blessings.
Here I am, day after seven. A healthy son. Two healthy daughters. Three gifts. Blessings all. Milestones aplenty. Mothering has made me stronger. Bolder. And much less apologetic about myself. I count my blessings every day. Find more Six Words, or join in on the fun, at makingthingsup.com.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 8, 2011
Right.
I crave quiet. For the thoughts in my head to receive attention from my heart. I crave quiet. From my family so that I can be a better mother. Patient calm wise thoughtful slower happier quieter. I crave quiet in my house. So I can live without voices raised to the messes, clutter everywhere. I crave quiet in the hopes that I will feel more sane more able and more quiet myself. And then, I stop. I say (sometimes out loud, sometimes to myself) It’s a craving impossible to fulfill. Right?
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsAs I sat in the waiting room of my daughter’s ballet school a few months ago I perused a magazine uninterrupted. And I came across a quote that I read over and over again. I am so grateful for moments such as these. In this case, an article about the actress Diane Lane offered me unexpected clarity. Here’s the gem that sparkled before me and that I wrote down, nodding all the way: “Being in a relationship makes it impossible to avoid yourself. … It may not always make me comfortable but it sure has made me a better person. [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingMarch 25, 2011
A disturbing realization.
I go to the supermarket. Again. I walk quickly down the aisles, not seeing what is really there. Only what I buy every trip. Fruit, cheese, eggs, milk, tortillas, salsa. I know there is more here but I can’t spare a moment to see the variety. Different options. There is just never enough time. How is it that the supermarket is now a metaphor for motherhood?
Read More in chores, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 21, 2011
Sometimes you have to rely on the words of others
Sometimes I sit down to write and the words come faster than I can type them. I begin with an idea and it grows and grows and turns into something else altogether. And at the end of the keyboard dance I am left feeling as if I’ve just taken a deep, cleansing breath. Sometimes I sit down to write and my fingers become stumps, not nimble enough to reach the keys. I can’t find an idea or even a thought, so I sit quietly. Waiting waiting. And frustrated that my limited time is slipping away, taken over by a foggy [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingMarch 17, 2011
In which I consider doing a jig
My dad wasn’t a morning person. The phrases with which he greeted each day are not ones I can transcribe here. He didn’t sleep well. He woke up in nicotine debt. He didn’t particularly look forward to going to work in the mornings. I know, I’m not painting a pretty picture. There were a few days each year, though, when dad came down the stairs with a spring in his step, the sound of the abundance of change in his pants’ pockets jingling. And St. Patrick’s Day was one of the days that put him in a lighter mood. He [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 16, 2011
“Cinderella Ate My Daughter”: A Momalom Book Review
As a mother of two daughters—each of whom is unmistakably her own person and, unmistakably, a girl—I have engaged in many conversations about the hows and whys. About the inevitable nature vs. nurture question that comes when each of us finds ourselves with a baby in our arms. New. Untouched. Impossibly vulnerable and sponging up everything around him/her. How do we know why our children are the way they are? How can we isolate their characters from the outside influences, the mood fluctuations of a household, the siblings, the birth order? How do we do just enough to guide our [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kidsMarch 13, 2011
Two years of Momalom—Numbers, words
In exactly two years of blogging, Sarah and I have published 464 posts. Comments on the site total 8,757–a quarter or so are responses by the two of us. According to Statcounter, we have received 98,854 hits since we started using the service. And although I know that the total already has surpassed 100,000, it seems a celebratory milestone, to be reached in the next few days. We have nearly 300 Feedburner subscribers and 199 Facebook fans. On Twitter, Sarah (Momalom) has 1,122 followers and is listed 59 times. I (Momalomjen) have 959 followers and am listed 61 times. This [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingMarch 7, 2011
Be You
My little boys take turns playing with my iPhone as I try to watch the game. My biggest boy is on the field, in the goal–catching, punting, scrambling to keep the ball out of the back of the net. Each save piques my adrenaline and, I’m sure, his. How did I raise such a remarkably composed 8-year-old boy? One who has learned to walk away from both winning and losing with pride and grace. He has become a fighter despite himself, despite his inclination to fold up when things get hard. Looks like he’s shaping up to be not so [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 2, 2011
Sick duty
There’s nothing like a vomiting kid to make you face your mothering duties head on. All at once and in full force there is someone to comfort. And laundry to do. And a floor to mop. And a wall to wash down. There’s the quick trip to the supermarket for ginger ale and saltines. And snuggling in bed watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid, checked out of the library on a whim a few days ago. E-mail goes unanswered. Ditto the telephone. My hands to the forehead and upper back of my oldest boy instead of on the keyboard. I [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 28, 2011
Phew. I already wrote this blog post.
I sat down to write a post while dinner cooks and had a flashback. Then, a sense of relief. I’ve already written this post, the one I sat down to write, clock ticking away. Tonight dinner is black bean chili and cornbread, and instead of a dance party there are four kids (mine plus a friend) playing in pairs upstairs—I can hear the Battleship cries from one room and singing from another—but the Struggle for Time? Yup. That’s still going on. It’s a constant internal struggle for me, and when it gets overwhelming I lash out against it by lashing [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, repost, three kidsFebruary 23, 2011
This is My Life: But I won’t let it bother me
1. Laundry (Duh.) 2. Dishes 3. Surly children. 4. Messy bedrooms (and bathrooms, and living room, and dining room…) 5. My son’s CONSTANT motion (and subsequent spills, explosions, etc.) 6. My older daughter’s eye rolls. (See #3) 7. Bed wetting. (See #1) 8. “What are we having for dinner?” 9. Not knowing what we’re having for dinner. 9. Diaper changes–going on seven years straight. 10. The feeling, all the time, that I am needed everywhere. (See #1-9)
Read More in chores, housework, Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 20, 2011
Weathering the present
I have just about had enough of winter. On the eve of what is predicted to be a “quick storm,” resulting in four to six more inches of snow on our already blanketed yard, the magic of the glistening white branches is over for me. I want to be able to open my back door and send the kids outside without having to bundle them up or respond to snow up the sleeve, down the collar, in the boot. I want to be able to clean my house–yes, I just said that–without people underfoot everywhere I go (undoing my work [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 14, 2011
Love Letter Redux
Happy Valentine’s Day! I’ve linked up with Real Life with Kids today, to a letter I wrote to my Sweetie last Valentine’s Day. It’s cheating, of course. But that’s the cool thing about Zombie Mondays. You dig up an old post and ease yourself into the week. (Besides, I still feel the same way about my Sweetie this year.) So go read about Cate’s dazzling love affair, check out other Zombie Love Monday contributors, resurrect one of your old posts (a love letter, perhaps?) and link up.
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Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, repost, three kidsFebruary 13, 2011
Glimpses
I catch them more often these days: A 10-year-old boy in the library, curled up reading, oblivious to the children (three of them mine) playing and running around him. A mother dropping off her children–all of them–at school in the morning and getting back into her minivan. Alone. My son on a playdate that lasts through dinner. The changes and growth of children–all children–are suddenly more at the center of my vision. I see other families whose childrens’ lives are starting to take on their own directions. I spend (a little) more time with just a subset of all of [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 11, 2011
changes
Max woke up a two nights ago around midnight. He climbed down from the top bunk, shuffled past the vacuum cleaner just outside his bedroom, and stepped over the cord looped across the floor. He went into the bathroom and stood in front of the toilet and tried his hardest to extricate his limbs from his footie pajamas. Well, poor kid, he just couldn’t do it. He peed in his jammies. Right there in front of the potty. He soaked himself through and through. I woke up to his whimpery whines and the sound of a zipper. I had been [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsFebruary 7, 2011
Hello, this is Sarah…
I haven’t been blogging. It’s been quite a while since I’ve published my words with any regularity at Momalom. Quite a while, actually, since I’ve published with IRregularity, or published anything at all. What I have been doing, it appears, is taking self-portraits. Lots and lots of them. If I had to put it into words I’d say something like I’ve been in a season of self-discovery. And, although I snapped them all spontaneously, the pictures must be an effort to see what’s really going on inside. Who knows. I certainly didn’t do it for the glamour of it. Heh. [...]
Read More in three kidsFebruary 7, 2011
On this day …
John Deere is somewhat of a celebrity in our house. The tractor lust that started about the same time my son was able to sit upright and peer over the edge of his stroller continues to this day, six years later. So I shouldn’t have been surprised at the enthusiasm with which he announced over the weekend that John Deere’s birthday is February 7. That’s right, today. Apparently, B has been holding tight to this knowledge since a few days after Christmas, when he completed reading the John Deere biography given to him by Santa. I’m not sure what he [...]
Read More in boys, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 4, 2011
Cold outside. Warmth in my heart.
This winter summed up? Snow, obviously. Also, unexpected days of family togetherness. For more summations, visit Making Things Up!
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 1, 2011
More snow. It’s not all bad.
I know I’m just one of millions of people waking up to snow with the promise (threat?) of (much) more snow during the next 48 hours. Sarah has pondered the possibility of this being the apocalypse. She may be on to something. But I’m feeling kind of old fashioned. It’s so rare that so much of the country is experiencing the same forces of such magnitude. That we all need to react to the same conditions at the same time. As the plows come down the street again and the snow piles up and skis and snowshoes are discarded on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJanuary 24, 2011
Looking back. Then, looking ahead.
I write less specifically these days about THE three kids. Those three kids that inspired my part of the header. Life. With three kids. I’m in it deeper now. Three is my every day. And the shape of my family informs every part of my day, many of my thoughts, much of my planning ahead. But it’s less inspiring, somehow. It’s there, but it’s not the only focus. It’s just the way it is. As a woman I met recently put it, “Three is the new two.” Yes, I thought, both at the time and since. Yes. It is. Three [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 13, 2011
Within reach
Here is Sarah during a stop in the aviary at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. It feels like this visit was ages ago, but really it was just more than two weeks. How does that happen, time going too fast? And how can I stop it? I’ll save the photos of orangutans and moose and a black-tongued giraffe for another day like today, when I have lots to say but absolutely no time to write.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJanuary 10, 2011
Mark all as Read
If life were like Google Reader, I’d click on a box and move forward. Maybe I’d wonder about all of the content and news I’d just effectively dismissed, but I’d be confident knowing that soon there would be more more more, and that I could–if not pick up where I’d left off–find my place again. A list looms in the back of my mind of all of the things I wanted to do during the holidays–make my mustard (how can a holiday season go by without my kitchen full of canning jars, the scent of Guinness making the house smell [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJanuary 2, 2011
Life on a winding road
Somehow our December-long Momalom in Pictures slipped away, not unlike the last days of 2010, for me spent driving back home from the West, a trip that spanned 12 days and a total of 4,059.8 miles. A trip of adventure, family, new experiences, inopportune bathroom needs, laughter, noise and food. It occurs to me that the trip–a first of such epic distance as a family–was perhaps a microcosm of our “real” life, the life that is ours in our little house in New England. And that life is a successful one overall, just as our maiden voyage to see our [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 17, 2010
For Cara. And her sweet Squeaky.
Happiness is an old friendship renewed with the birth of her daughter. Motherhood reuniting us. An unlikely scenario it once seemed. And now. Happiness. As we talk on the phone for the second time in weeks (and the third time in years) I hear in her lilting voice in the words rapidly spilling out the love, the wonder, the joy the happiness for that new life the life of her sweet daughter and for her journey into motherhood. Welcome to the world darling girl I can’t wait to meet you and to see your mama again. It’s Six Word Friday, [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsDecember 16, 2010
Snowmen, Christmas trees and bells
They may just look like regular old cheddar biscuits, but they taste much better when formed with the holiday cookie cutters.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 10, 2010
Gifted: Riches where there aren’t any.
This year: More frugal than ever penny pinching, stretching resources, being creative. It’s difficult to have the confidence that these three children of ours aren’t seeing the stressors. They aren’t. I know they aren’t. But. But there is so much more. Much more that I wish I could give. Not only from their wish lists but in experiences, too. Next year, I tell myself. Next year, definitely. Meanwhile, this year: Frugal, yes. Also a trip to Colorado! Thirty hours in the van. Five of us! My bank account is paltry. But. But the riches of my life? Abound. A road [...]
Read More in Dad, holidays, Jen Writes, motherhood, siblings, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids)December 9, 2010
Spaghetti and marshmallows.
December 8, 2010
What is it about wispy ponytails and braids?
It’s December. Which means we’ve decided to post Momalom in Pictures. But sometimes a little text is nice, too. Here’s a blast from the past, if you’re so inclined.
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kids, youngest childDecember 3, 2010
Caption contest winner revealed!
Remember this? Anyway, there were 16 responses to our Caption Contest, and they were all great. Thanks to all of you who played along. Fourteen entries came through the comments. And two came via e-mail—a brave short story written by a blog friend and a touching tribute to, ahem, me, written by my college-days friend Rachel. But, because we called it a contest (and because we said we would), we selected one grand winner and 15 runner ups. So. After much deliberating, we decided to go with Bina’s: Internal thought: “Ok. If I stand like thiiiis and smile pretty, maybe [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, siblings, sisters, three kidsNovember 30, 2010
November to December: From words every day to pictures if we can muster the energy
Well, we did it. I’m feeling a little less accomplished than I thought I’d feel, having managed 30 posts in 30 days. I’ve kind of closed out the month with a whimper rather than a bang. And Sarah and I split the writing! Anyway, I’ll try to tie it all up neatly here. Unfinished business: Today’s the last day to enter our caption contest. Your chances are pretty good, given that we’ve had just 13 entries so far. You have until midnight tonight. Pretty please? I’ll send you a T-shirt. Some sticky notes. (See how pretty they are?) Maybe some [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 28, 2010
i’m not ready for this
On Thursday my 8-year-old’s quest to quench boredom led him to Bananagrams. He didn’t know what it was and even though my first response was something like “I don’t have the wherewithal to teach you right now,” I summoned some patience and grace and explained the rules. Yes, I give myself a pat on the back. Yes, I say NO a lot. Yes, I realize I should say YES more often. Especially to things like this. So, if you haven’t heard of Bananagrams it’s like Scrabble without the board and the points. You get to shout things like Split and [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, sex, three kidsNovember 27, 2010
Unintentional Makeover
We arrived home late this morning from my mama’s house. After a couple of glorious days doing nothing but lounging and eating, eating and lounging, I had decided on the ride home that I would finally repaint the living room. We’ve lived in this house for 2.5 years and nearly every room has been painted except the one in which we spend the most time as a family. I never hung pictures on the walls because I always intended to paint. The weeks turned to months turned to years and now here we are, living out of a room that [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 24, 2010
Leftovers
You know what you can do with leftover black beans? Make black bean dip. Which your children—if they are anything like mine—will scarf down with handfuls of corn chips until you cut them off. (This is not how my kids ate the original black beans. Thus the leftovers.) I’m not a post-a-recipe kind of a gal. But. It’s NaBloPoMo and I’m getting a little desperate. So here goes. Place in the bowl of a food processor: • The leftover black beans (4 cups. Yeah. They were NOT a hit at dinner the other night. Probably because there were onions and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 20, 2010
Introducing Momalom’s first caption contest
It snowed last week. On my long commute to work, I started out in cold rain, drove through snow, sleet and freezing rain, and arrived safely after a drive extended by about 30 minutes past my usual 75. I am not ready to battle the weather yet again. I’d rather stick with cows. But, I’m trying to keep things in perspective. Snow can bring fun, or so my children would tell me. So. To spice things up, we’re sponsoring a contest here at Momalom. A contest that has little—if anything—to do with mothering. A contest that has more to do [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 18, 2010
This is My Life: Built-in Landscaping Services
This photo, taken five years ago, makes me !!! (and a little bit sad, too, but I’m focusing on the intentional happiness theme today). Tell us what makes you !!!
Read More in !!!, boys, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 15, 2010
Learning in the quiet
I curled up on my son’s bed beside him in the dark at the end of this long Monday. In the quiet in the dark I listened to his breathing, tried hard not to comment on his squirming. And then out of the silence he began to talk. The things he revealed to me were not responses to questions I asked. I wouldn’t have known to ask about these things: facts worries ideas questions of his own that fill his mind. We snuggled together under his warm blankets and I tried to say as little as possible as I answered [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 13, 2010
What rhymes with butterfly?
I’ve been sending photo holiday cards much longer than I’ve been blogging. And, as a blogger, I’ve been hesitant to accept any offer from companies thus far. However, just as I was finishing the layout for this year’s holiday card, complete with four photos—one of which actually shows all three children together (gasp!)—I learned of an offer from Shutterfly. An offer too good to resist. Shutterfly has great options for holiday photos. In fact, 274 options. I myself didn’t have time to view every single one (three kids, remember). But it was easy to narrow down the choices by number [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 11, 2010
!!! in goodbyes
This is a photo of my Sweetie. The adult in this world who makes me !!! (and not just on Thursdays). I know. You can’t see him. He prefers it that way. (Winking at you, Sweets.) But there’s more !!! in this photo, too, even though part of it is bittersweet to me. Our son took this picture with his own camera one morning last spring (by the looks of the purple blooms) as he was undoubtedly waving goodbye to his dad, who was on his way to work. We have this waving ritual. Whoever is leaving for work that [...]
Read More in !!!, fatherhood, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kidsNovember 9, 2010
Nourishment
As I start to think about the upcoming holidays and all of the impossible chaos that is sure to ensue, I find myself retreating to books more than usual. It’s undeniably a kind of avoidance. But reading is also a source from which I draw strength. And because I anticipate needing all the strength I can get during the coming weeks and months, I’m seeking out suggestions. I’m offering a few books on my recent reading list, and I’d love to hear what’s keeping you from your own lives these days. Recently I’ve devoured: Little Bee by Chris Cleave Plan [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 6, 2010
Fearlessly independent
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, youngest child
November 5, 2010
Change happens when I’m not watching
Embracing motherhood has meant, for me, That in every moment, every day (if i just open my eyes and allow myself to see it) change is everywhere: growth, moods, needs. And when I feel most lost or ready to jump and cry throw up my hands and scream A lesson is learned. A hurdle scaled. A child surprises us both. It’s Six Word Fridays! For more, visit Making Things Up.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsNovember 3, 2010
Coming to terms again and again
I have come to the realization that I believed that when my childbearing days were over I’d step out of one world and into another. From the world of emerging parent to that of established parent. It has taken me some time to come to terms with the reality that Sweetie and I have (only? exactly? ) three children. That we are blessed to have three children. And. And that there will not be more. But then, everyone else keeps having babies. Friends new and old. Neighbors. Co-workers. So many of the people that I see and talk to daily [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 31, 2010
Halloween comes around every year
It’s cold! My SPY, PRINCESS and TRAIN CONDUCTOR are going to be very chilly tonight during the Rag Shag Parade and subsequent trick or treating. At last I’ll be having that age-old struggle with my children, who up until now have experienced Halloween nights that have been mild. We’ll no doubt be fighting about how many layers of winter coat, hat and mittens will ruin the costumes by covering them up. THAT is my foremost Halloween memory, after all. Well, that and the year that Sarah and I won a prize in the parade in our little hometown. I was [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 29, 2010
Double treat. Five word Friday?
A date with my Sweetie (two weekends in a row!) For Six Word Friday (the way it’s supposed to be done), go visit Making Things Up!
Read More in relationship, three kidsOctober 26, 2010
Saturday night out of the house and in my head
In the theater with a gorgeous, detailed ceiling painted in warm shades of brown, gold, red. In the theater with friends old and new and in between. In the theater on a Saturday night without kids. In the theater. The stage. The lights. The crowd of people around. Out after dark. I sit. I watch. I listen. I sing along. I think of the children then try not to think of them. This is my night. Our night. Without them. They are at a sleepover at their aunt’s house. They are fine. Oh, but they would love this. The oldest [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writing, youngest childOctober 22, 2010
Six weeks into school year means:
“Rubby” noses, Congestion, Exhaustion, Crabiness. ENOUGH. What have you had enough of? Join Six Word Friday at Making Things Up.
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 17, 2010
For my ever-handsome boy
It was bound to happen. A trip to the emergency room. This time, the first time, with a boy. A boy who was on his scooter. And then, on the ground. A bleeding gash on his chin. A quiet ride to the hospital. Nurses. A doctor. Questions. Lots of sitting still. Stitches. Bandages. This boy of mine, this 6-year-old boy, so good in an emergency, held it together better than most adults. After the initial shock. After the bleeding had been slowed. After it was determined that, yes, this was it. This would be the FIRST trip to the ER. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsOctober 15, 2010
My four favorite people on earth.
Oldest child. Your deep, brown eyes. Middle child. Your fine, orange hair. Youngest child. Your impossible, mischievous grin. Sweetie. The sound of your voice. It’s Six Word Friday at Making Things Up!
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, relationship, three kids, youngest childOctober 12, 2010
This is my Life: Baby Fever
Still life with naked babies At last count, there were more than 30 baby dolls in my house. I honestly don’t know how we got to this point or why all of them are naked. But so it is, and I offer you a sampling of their names: Po Po Baby Noisy New Baby Sunny Moony Rocky (perhaps we should formally introduce Jamis to Baby Rocky?) Flower Big Baby (not to be confused with Celtics player #11) Corey Wilco Baby Sister Baby Brother Harper Vanessa Panessa
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 10, 2010
Bare
A few nights ago* I awoke to the shrill sound of my baby yelling “Mama!” Screaming. For me. Her dad went up. She quieted. He came back down after a bit. She started again to scream. For me. I have been on bedtime duty more nights than not due to Sweetie’s work schedule, and he was trying to give me the night off. But E got out of her bed, and we heard the soft yet solid sound of her feet pitter patter across the floor above our heads. We heard the slight rattle of the gate at her bedroom [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsOctober 4, 2010
Success simplified.
How do you measure success? It’s an old question, I know. Unoriginal. Visited by most. But. It’s worth asking, I think. If I measured success by my bank account balance, I’d be an utter failure. Or, if I measured by the cleanliness of my house. (I’m laughing now, for I am incapable of keeping our home neat, tidy, organized or, quite frankly, clean.) Other measurements that may result in my failure to succeed: I do not live in a large house. We do not have a landscaped yard with perfect lawn. We do not have the latest technological gadgets. We [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsSeptember 30, 2010
Another girl’s birthday.
I’m tired, oh so tired. And I write that knowing that I’ve written so many times before about sleep, and how I don’t get enough.* So today, on Intentional Happiness day, I am keeping it simple. I am happy for my daughter, 5 years old yesterday. Somehow, she looks different to me now. Older. Wiser. More of a kid than a child, if that makes any sense to anyone other than me. And I am grateful for who she is and what she brings to our family. I am happy for her patience and her slow consideration of every option [...]
Read More in !!!, birthday, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 27, 2010
You don’t need a title to tell you what you believe (but it sure does seem to make things easier)
On Friday I sent a text message to a dear friend: Taking a personality quiz about my religious and spiritual beliefs. To give me an idea of what I believe. The questions are hard, yo. And she wrote: Ha. You really need someone else to tell you what you believe? I had to think about that for a moment. Is it ridiculous that I’m turning outward for answers? Answers that are obviously only found within? No. But I need to be asked these questions, I think. Might help me figure some shit out. The one who knows exactly what she [...]
Read More in repost, Sarah Writes, three kidsSeptember 24, 2010
She already has her own baby. (But she’ll always be my baby.)
Tomorrow will be two years. TWO! Since you arrived in our lives to complete our family. Our world. I cannot imagine: family of four; A day without your face, scrunched, eyes wide, teeth together; sweet kisses juicy and open-mouthed; siblings surrounding you, protecting you, playing with you. Laughing. How is it that you already Are two. How is it that, already, you say you are three. Please. Take tomorrow to stop growing. One day. Sing “happy birthday me.” While I pause, get choked up Not able to fathom one bit A life without you in it. For more Six Word [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, youngest childSeptember 22, 2010
Making the most of things
Today I ran out of gas. For which I have no excuse–other than my poor math skills–gas lights being what they are in modern vehicles. While I made a rescue-request call to Sweetie, who was working less than a mile away, my girls laughed at me. When I hung up the phone, I laughed, too. It was kind of funny. And we were safe. And close to home. We could easily have walked home or to a nearby gas station. But while we waited for Daddy’s Roadside Service, the girls entertained each other in our cavernous minivan (E didn’t even [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, siblings, sisters, three kidsSeptember 19, 2010
“Son, when can you ever stop asking me questions?”
I have come to dread a certain kind of question, inevitably posed by my oldest—my 6-year-old impatient inquisitive son. I offer a recent smattering: “Mom, when can we go to the park?” “Mom, when can you change the batteries in my helicopter?” “Mom, when can you help me find my socks?” “Mom, when can we ever go to the park?” “Mom, when can you change the batteries in my walkie talkie?” “Mom, when can I have a snack?” “Mom, when can I have a playdate with Sam again?” “Mom, when can you help me with my Legos?” “Mom, when can [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 17, 2010
Bedtime. Nightime. Not over till morning.
Covers tucked. Lights out. Kisses blown. I walk downstairs. To my room. Perk up my ears. Listening now and for the next several hours for the sounds of awakening children. Hoping for no “mamas.” No cries. What are your six words today? Find more at MakingThingsUp.
Read More in Jen Writes, sleep, three kidsSeptember 16, 2010
Intentional Happiness Virgin
Until now, Intentional Happiness has been Sarah’s realm. But, well, she’s super busy being the super designer that she is. Just this week, she finished another fabulous site makeover. (Check out Never-True Tales). And, since she’s preparing for her third-annual Reach the Beach roadrelayforcrazypeoplethingy, I offered to share some of my own happiness today. Here goes: My two older kids have cameras, courtesy of GG. They use them frequently. They sneak up on me and click lovely shots (that I could have deleted upon downloading their images, mind you). They do a house-wide study in still life. They take beautiful [...]
Read More in !!!, home, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 14, 2010
From the archives of my life as a mom
Imagine my surprise at finding this little tidbit, written as a part of a writing exercise (I remember…) when I was a mom of (only!) two children. If I have the timing right, my son (now 6) was 2 and my daughter (my only daughter at the time) was 6 months. (She is now rapidly approaching 5.) And so, here it is. A writing exercise. I include it here because it strikes me so profoundly that I feel so much the same now. That almost since day one of becoming a mother, it seems, I have felt exactly this. Exactly [...]
Read More in fatherhood, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writingSeptember 12, 2010
This is My Life: And it’s never all tidy at once
On the second day of school, I spent the morning cleaning my first-grader’s room. Thoroughly. While I was in there, the girls played in their room. Or maybe played isn’t exactly the right word.
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childSeptember 9, 2010
Mama, When is my next ballet class?
Her question floats quietly from the back seat of the minivan As my daughter’s questions always do I piece together the words Recognize the slightly higher than usual pitch of her voice Glance in the mirror and notice her neck stretched forward And I explain that she has to wait until next Saturday Her shoulders slump, her eyes fall Next Saturday is 10 long days away In her first-ever dance lesson My daughter shone Pink tights Soft, leather ballet slippers Orange hair all tied up in a bun not any bigger than a large grape Her purple leotard stretched across [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 7, 2010
Visiting Day
When Melissa from Making Things Up asked me to write a guest post for her, I felt honored. And when she gave me the topic—beginnings, in honor of her new arrival, son Eli—I was thrilled! To write for one of my favorite blogs and not to have to come up with a topic? Perfect. So here’s to beginnings. If you’ve never read Melissa, today will surely be a good beginning for you. Take a peek here, and stick around a while. There’s plenty to see!
Read More in guest post, Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 6, 2010
Reflections
This morning, I looked up from scrubbing the bathroom sink to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Glasses slipping down my nose. Hair pulled back in a messy bun that highlighted my grey streak. I did a lot of housework today. It feels important to me that B go off to school tomorrow from a clean house. And so there I was, spray bottle in one hand and paper towel in the other, bent over the white pedestal sink wondering if the hardened peanut butter would ever come unglued from the faucet when, wait, there I was. In [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsAugust 27, 2010
Family dinner out at Joe’s Pizza.
Please bring us two ginger ales And one small glass of water That looks like a ginger ale Because this little one sitting here Wants everything her older siblings have. She can’t possibly wait three years. But I’m not ready for soda In the hands of my baby And so I thank you, waitress, For the glass with ice, straw That satisfies my toddler’s need. (And makes dinner out easier, too.)
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, youngest childAugust 24, 2010
Three in a bed
We sleep together A toddler between us And I am happy Her toes at my knees Your toes touching mine And I realize I am good at this now This parenting at night Better than I was when we were in so deep for so long The years of nights stretching out from the long days No guaranteed hours of quiet The resisting being needed The resentment of being needed And now together this rare night of a child between us I lay half asleep rubbing her back listening to you breathe and sigh And I think again I know [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, sleep, three kids, youngest childAugust 22, 2010
“They store up liquids like a water tower.”
“In case we disappear for a few days. Ya know?” Sarah wrote this in an e-mail to me, in response to my continued amazement at the liquid intake of my son. She and I each have a child who consumes copious amounts of liquid. Juice cups are filled and refilled throughout the day. Thermoses are constantly on hand. And while I sincerely hope there is no correlation between their intake of apple juice and water now to the amount of alcohol they ingest in their teen years, it really is remarkable to witness. It’s also extremely irritating. No matter what, [...]
Read More in birthday, health, home, Jen Writes, middle child, mind/body, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childAugust 13, 2010
This Much I Know
We are close to the edge It feels dangerous, risky, too real The pit in my stomach, permanent For far too many weeks now Shows no signs of leaving me But I must not turn away I hang on, wanting closed eyes Except I must keep them open Because it is my job: mother To keep my family surviving, thriving So I peek over the edge. Step back. Breathe deeply. And believe.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kidsAugust 9, 2010
enough
what i want to write is this: I AM ENOUGH but this is how i feel: i’m afraid i’ll never write another decent stream of words in my life i’m afraid i’ll never be able to hang on to the feeling of calm that a kickass conversation with a close friend brings i’m afraid i’ll get lost in the dirty, boring details–the laundry, the bills, the organizing, scheduling, remembering of life i’m afraid i’ll lose track of where i am and where i wanted to be and all that will remain is a washed-up woman with three children and a [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsAugust 2, 2010
A Successful Vacation
Today is Monday. Last Monday I was at the “big” library, scouring the shelves for new audiobooks for my big boy. Choosing my “baby’s” first book to be taken out. Advising my 4-year-old on which Madeleine video to select. It was a warm and sunny summer day. Perfect for a trip downtown. A smoothie. A day of whim. For 10 days I enjoyed such whim. I got out of bed—one day early, one day late, the rest at the usual time—and faced each day with no grand plans. It was a vacation in the true sense of the word. Except [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, three kids (six kids)August 1, 2010
Budget Shopping
I am a pro at stretching a dollar, scrimping on the grocery bill, making dinner out of what’s in the cabinets. We wear hand-me overs, hand-me downs and last year’s pants, calling them capris. But sometimes it’s nice to go on a shopping spree. So yesterday, the kids and I hit the dollar store for a few needs and wants. We found something for everyone: 1 hairbrush 1 fabric headband 1 rubber ball 2 hair clips 4 barrettes 4 plastic fighter jets 5 bungee cords 6 sponges 90 miniature Army men Total cost: $10.63 My hair is brushed and out [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJuly 30, 2010
An idea to live by today:
July 28, 2010
Babydoll on the clothesline
The girls are still asleep The boys, awake I sit at my desk and glance out the window at our green backyard Bubbles of sunlight slipping through the leaves of the lush maple trees floating and settling on the too-long green grass There’s a babydoll on the clothesline because yesterday she got dirty in the sandbox and then my not-yet-2-year-old took her into the bathroom and washed her in the sink How can one child be such a do-er And one of her older siblings be so distraught over doing? I sit and I look outside and I ponder questions [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingJuly 26, 2010
move a little closer, would you?
Yesterday we spent the day together. It was bliss. You, me, and 6 kids under 8. 2 pools and 2 noodles and 2 life vests. 2 mommies holding everyone up in the water, watching our kids paddle away, make big waves, jump freely and fearlessly off of the edge. It allowed us to also jump freely off of the edge, that place that makes you pull your hair out, raise your voice more than you’d like, cry a little in the bathroom, stare blankly out the kitchen window while you wash another dish. We knew that our day was filled [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids)July 23, 2010
Together (inevitably)
July 19, 2010
On my mind last week.
I couldn’t seem to pull it together last week. I kept trying to write, but I was having trouble staying focused. I think I have too much on my mind lately. Here’s a few of the things that I dwelled on long enough to jot down as ideas but that never quite made it any farther than a sentence or two in post form: It is a foregone conclusion that the needs of a certain child in my household always seem to come before everyone elses, regardless of the circumstances. Why did I dream of an explosion leaping out of [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingYou are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But, listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me. Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and your heart, and heart’s little intelligence, and listen to me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile away and still out of sight, the churn of the [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 12, 2010
The sweetness of coming home
Don’t forget to hug them while I’m gone, I said two days earlier. I pulled in the driveway and hustled my things together in the front seat. The shoes I’d kicked off in favor of driving barefoot. The earbuds that provided me two insatiable hours of audiobook fun. My phone, a half-drunk bottle of Coca-Cola, my purse, my wallet, an empty bag of Sun Chips. I grabbed my suitcase from the backseat and glided to the front door. I was already in quiet mode from the drive home and knocked very gently three or four times when I discovered the [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsJuly 5, 2010
green sweatshirt
I folded laundry last night and picked up the green, hooded sweatshirt the one that zips up the front, isn’t too cushy, and has highlighted both the blue and brown eyes of my two youngest boys I think it’s days are numbered this favorite piece of clothing and yet I am not ready to pack it away in the attic graveyard Then I remembered all the times yesterday I said something like this “It’ll be easier when they are all older. When they are all 5 and up.” I’m pushing and pulling at time all at once thinking of time [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsJuly 3, 2010
Housekeeping
We’re not ungrateful. We’re really really not. But we are frazzled and busy and crazed half the time. And because of these endearing qualities we have neglected to acknowledge three lovely bloggers who recently have bestowed on us awards. AWARDS, people. So, without further ado (ahem, frazzlement), thanks to Maria at Mom of Three Seeks Sanity for The rules ARE these: 1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER! 2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award: (a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sisters, three kidsJuly 2, 2010
Found.
“Recollection, I have found, is usually about half invention.” —Wallace Earle Stegner. OK, so I cheated this week Stealing a few words from Wally. (Not even six words. Nine, actually.) But this quote hangs before me When I sit at my desk. It provides me with great inspiration Perhaps you will be inspired, too. For more Six Word Fridays–and to link up your own six words–check out MakingThingsUp.com!
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingAplomb. It is one of my favorite words. I remember the exact moment I first encountered it. And was desperate to know its meaning. I was standing on the banks of the Connecticut River. Crew practice had yet to begin, and I had just come from the college post office. I was reading a letter. A letter from a friend at a college hours away. A boy friend. (But not a boyfriend.) A friend of the unrequited angsty, teenage crush variety. We had spent a few years in high school trying to figure out the nature of our relationship, I [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsJune 25, 2010
Goals.
They used to be much bigger. Write novel. Have baby (or three). Now, to do dishes after dinner I feel achievement unlike any other. I want to strive for more.
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJune 21, 2010
Delinquent, but very thankful, me.
Dear Everyone Who Has Given Me or One of My Children a Gift During the Past, Oh, Say, Two-and-a-half Years, Thank you. I meant to write a thank-you note. I really did. In fact, I even drafted one. (In my head.) I used to be really very good at thank-you notes. I am a firm believer in thank-you notes. And yet. Somehow, the thank-you note is one of the things that has fallen by the wayside in this life of mine. This life. Of three kids. But, I am grateful for your generosity. Your thoughtfulness. On holidays. And birthdays. Sometimes, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJune 20, 2010
Loyalty.
I spent this past basketball season becoming a True Celtics Fan. With Sweetie, I watched nearly every televised game, up to and including Game 7 of the finals, the scrappy match against the Lakers that ended the Celts’ season just short of them having achieved the crowning glory of the title. Sweetie is a longstanding Celtics fan, and on game nights we would put the kids to bed and tune in. From pregame to postgame and the halftime analysis in between, I watched and listened beside him, as I have for years. I don’t know why this year was different. [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, home, Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsJune 18, 2010
Appetite.
I wish we could go back to that first meal we shared together in a small, darkish restaurant. I wish I could watch us From just a few tables away. Would I predict our bright future?
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kidsJune 14, 2010
All-purpose apology note from my 6-year-old
“I am sorry for that” I received this note on Sunday afternoon, amidst the fallout of a meltdown by my 6-year-old son. He’s written notes of apology before, and in the past he has been a bit more specific in describing why he is “sare.” Whether he anticipates using this note again or he just ran out of room on the piece of paper to go into detail, I’m not sure. But the fact that he writes me notes makes my heart swell a bit, even while I am trying to get under control my own emotional reaction to his [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingJune 11, 2010
10 Things That Happen at My House Almost Daily
1. Pee on the floor. 2. Coffee delivered to me from my Sweetie, whether I’m in the shower, changing a diaper or still in bed. 3. All three children yelling for me at the same time. (MomMamaMommy! anyone?) 4. Not getting to the phone in time to hear who’s calling. 5. Snacks prepared by me and consumed by my children. 6. Food on the floor (and the walls). 7. More than one child saying, “I love you, Mom(MamaMommy).” 8. Laughing. 9. Laundry. In some form or another. 10. Possibility: Five people living together. Happily. Humbled.* * This last one here [...]
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJune 9, 2010
Glimpse. Pause. Reflect.
I like this photo because it brings me right back to that trip to Maine, 11 years ago. The trip that Sweetie planned from start to finish. Every detail taken care of. An inn with a huge jacuzzi. Bike trails and a place to rent bikes. Bookstores to explore. I like this photo because just by looking at myself looking out at the water here, adjusting my cap, I also remember the sunset we shared and so many other details of that trip, like the fact that I was still eating fish then, and did, sitting across from my Sweetie, [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsJune 6, 2010
Vanilla? or Chocolate?
Remember Five for Ten? Well, I haven’t done a whole lot in the bloggy world since then. I’m trying to bounce back. I really am. In the meantime, chocolate or vanilla?
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsJune 4, 2010
!!!
Last night I wanted to give up. Crawl under the covers and let my mind fall away. The boys pushed every last nerve. Literally. I wrote this on the whiteboard in our office: Apparently I made sure to date it so that I could remember the exact moment I was about to lose it. (Good thing it’s erasable and I didn’t carve it into the bedroom doors, my forehead or worse, my kids’ backsides? I’m sure I’d regret that.) I’m amazed I didn’t put a time-stamp on it, too. If I had to guess, it was probably between 6:00 and [...]
Read More in !!!, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 29, 2010
What She Said
The Elmo Wallpaper. Do you know this blog? Do you know this wonderful mom of three boys? Do you? Because she wrote last week what I wish I had been able to find four years ago. She wrote the best post about having a third baby that I have ever read. It is personal. It is comprehensive. It is practical. And it is touching. Most of all, it rings so so true in its honesty and wisdom and fact. Read it. Even if you want nothing to do with three children or already have five or are somewhere in between. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 28, 2010
Six Word Friday
What I need to remember (everyday): When I go to sleep early I feel better in the morning. For more Six Word Fridays, visit our witty friend Melissa at Making Things Up. Thanks, Melissa!
Read More in Jen Writes, sleep, three kidsMay 24, 2010
We Didn’t Celebrate our Blogiversary (but we did put together a list of Blogs by Moms of Three–or more–Kids)
It’s not that we forgot that we’ve been blogging for a year (since March 13, 2009). It’s just that, well, it didn’t come up. Sarah and I so rarely see each other in person that we didn’t ever talk about what to do in celebration of US. But now, a few months past, we’ve decided to celebrate us by offering others a quick resource for blogs by moms of three (or more). That’s right. Introducing: MomMamaMommy! (Inspired by this.) We’ve said it before. Something changes when you have that third kid. It’s so difficult for us to put our fingers [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 20, 2010
The Top Ten Reasons I’m Done (so stop asking)
When CK said Hey, you guys want a day to catch up on Five for Ten stuff? I said, Hell, Yeah. And not only because I need a day off, but because Bad Mommy Moments is badass. Equal parts snark and sentiment, CK spins a tale like nobody’s business. Today she’s here to make you laugh. And me laugh…because I’m not sure if I am done. But after I read this, I concluded I was downright crazy for not getting on board with the Top Ten. Without further ado… The Top Ten Reasons I’m Done (so stop asking) I don’t [...]
Read More in guest post, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 19, 2010
YES to YOU
YES to new friends. Connections and Voices YES to letting go and reaching out and diving in YES to pushing and stretching and finding your words and sharing them here with us I am in awe. I am absolutely amazed. I am dancing in my tragically unhip shoes over here, starting to get back a little bit of that spanky and delicious, and all because of you. YES, you. Out there. The ones who have come here to read and write for 10 days. How did you do it? Aren’t you tired? A little tired of Momalom? A little tired [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 18, 2010
A day of Yes
Yes I’ll make cinnamon-chip muffins Yes we have Daddy juice Yes you can wear shorts today Yes there are clean socks in the laundry basket in my room Yes you have PE today (so wear your sneakers, too) Yes I’ll pack yogurt in your lunch Yes I’ll pack a granola bar in your snack Yes it’s my turn to drive you to school today Yes you have to brush your teeth Yes I’m picking you up from school, too Yes your friend M can come over to play Yes I’ll make popcorn Yes you can jump on the (neighbor’s) trampoline [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsMy favorite novel My cherished collection (one-and-two-thirds shelves of Stegner magic) Evidence of stalking (I told you it was lust) ****************
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMay 14, 2010
I had this body
I had this body I had abs A navel pierced with a tiny silver ring I had an ass that didn’t move up and down when I ran (I had this body that ran) I had a waist that fit into skinny jeans and thighs that fit, too I had this body before I had children this body that has slipped away become something else after the third child or because I’m getting older I can’t say, really But I had this body and I wish I had appreciated it more when it was mine (mine alone) Because now it [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsMay 13, 2010
The !!! of My Life
I have written and rewritten my About page several times. For many months now it has stood mostly blank. I find it to be an incredibly difficult and daunting task. And this is just a blog. Not the dust jacket on a new novel. Not a bio in a magazine. Not a profile for Match.com. Just a blog. The irony of it all is that I am able to share intensely personal things in my posts, but when it comes to my About page, I clam up. I can’t figure out how to distill myself into one or two cute [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 12, 2010
Happiness is
Happiness is three slippery bodies just out of the tub holding out their towels and asking for a “Daddy warm-up” Happiness is my Sweetie’s eyes deep brown and kind always smiling with soft lines around them like the Lucinda Williams song Happiness is this family that is ours only ours always ours because we took the leap that led us here ***************** Wednesday and Thursday are all about Happiness. Sarah and I are so happy to have you along on this amazing adventure. Link away…and we’ll get busy reading.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsMay 11, 2010
Courage is
Courage is taking a leap into love commitment Motherhood Courage is forgiving freely and forgetting moving forward Courage is starting each day fresh without the weight of yesterday’s failures or hurdles or burdens Courage is being the best woman I can be the best partner I can be the best Mother I can be and not apologizing for not being better ******* Are you new here? Do you need some more information about all these goings-on? Check out the sidebar. Everything you need to know is over there! Also, please bear with us as we catch up from yesterday on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 10, 2010
The Sidelines
The sun beats down on me as I sit on the sidelines. The vastness of the bright green playing field is filled in with players wearing blue and white jerseys, three stripes down the side of their shorts and across the tops of their socks. The ball pops here and there, in and out of bounds, over heads, into goals, and through the breeze that pushes tears around my face. I pull my hat further down and shift in the taupe spectator chair. I swirl the ice in my coffee and kick off my shoes. I have shut down. My [...]
Read More in motherhood, oldest child, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 8, 2010
Popsicles and the parade that wasn’t: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! ********** The Three Popsicle Day (originally published May 23, 2009) We don’t go on too many weekend family outings, because on the days that I am home, J works (and vice versa). So this morning, when I was standing in the center of our little town at 9:56 [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, repost, three kidsMay 6, 2010
Discovering the Park: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! ********** Mysteries Unearthed (Originally published August 9, 2009) Friday I took my kids to the park. It was 3 in the afternoon. The baby had woken from her nap. Quiet time was over. We were at loose ends. So I strapped the girls into the bike trailer, B [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, repost, three kidsMay 4, 2010
He’s 6 now, and still my first: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! ********** The First Child (originally posted August 28, 2009) The first child is always first. Always. And it makes me kind of crazy. Because the second child is now the middle child. And the third child has to just cope with everything that the first child needs. And [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, repost, three kids, youngest childMay 2, 2010
Sleepless: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! *********** How many nights can I go without real sleep? (originally posted on April 12, 2009) J is upstairs putting the big kids to bed. Em is lying on the couch beside me, playing. I am as tired as I ever have been. Too tired to be writing [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, repost, sleep, three kidsMay 1, 2010
Five for Ten Again: TOPICS!!!
May 10 & 11 — Courage May 12 & 13 — Happiness May 14 & 15 — Memory May 16 & 17 — Lust May 18 & 19 — Yes The topics are broad. General. You can tweak them however you want. They can be funny, introspective, academic, vulnerable. Whatever you wish. Be creative. Be daring. But most of all, be yourself. Two things of note: The last topic, Yes, is in honor of Aidan Donnelley Rowley’s debut novel, Life After Yes, which hits bookshelves on May 18th. The timing couldn’t be more perfect, right? I’m excited to read it. [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 30, 2010
(On Not) Living in the Past
I have noticed lately that it’s not unusual for people to be living in their pasts. Thinking back to their glory days of high school. Or the independence of college. Their single days. The days when they had money (read: before children). There is a lot of this going on. And I’ve just (finally?) put it all together. I think it took me a while to realize this because, well, I don’t really have high school glory days. College was wonderful but not something I feel I need to revisit. I never really wanted to be single, so when I [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsI’m cackling over here. I know, I know, it’s my family, so it’s a whole lot funnier to me (and Jen and Geege, I hope). But really? Let’s take a peek at some details. Like Jen’s vivacious skirt, worn with thick tights and sneakers. And how about GG? Those glasses are funkalicious. She’s one hot tamale. And those sandals? I think she wore that style for about 12 years–going through a few pairs until she finally moved on to…hmm. Mom? What did you move on to after those leather criss-cross thongy things? I’m just little and cute, so we can [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 28, 2010
Five for Ten Again: Rules and Regulations
We’ve been bombarded with enthusiasm (and a few questions) since we announced the return of Five for Ten last week. So let’s go over the details, shall we? Five for Ten will run from Monday, May 10 to Wednesday, May 19 Jen or I will post each day during the 10 days You, dear reader, are asked to visit Momalom each day and leave a comment We, in return, will visit your blog and leave you a comment OK, is it getting clearer? Pretty simple, right? We give you five minutes (well, more like 10 or 15) if you give [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 27, 2010
Dishing out the Five for Ten details
Has anyone noticed the recent influx of baby pictures? Man, I’m wistful for the early days. This is my first little guy, Jamis, back when every moment was cute. We lived in Florida. Life was simple. What the heck happened? And…can I ever get a glimpse of that again? Just for a day? *** We’ll be serving up some details on Five for Ten tomorrow! Please be sure to stop by. Grab the button code from our sidebar while you’re here, and plaster it on your site, in a post, or on your forehead. Whatever suits you. We are excited [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 26, 2010
What I Should Have Said
Yesterday at a gathering I was asked by an old friend and mom of one, “How do you do three?” “You just do it,” I said without hesitating. And this is very true. You just do it. I just do it. I mother my three children. I respond first to who needs me most. I multitask all the time. I answer to mom, mama, mommy. Sometimes all at once. I hold hands and answer questions and zip jackets. I keep track and count heads and get juice. I take trips to the potty and mop up spilled water. I just [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 21, 2010
It’s going by too fast
Somebody slow it down. Please. It’s going by much too fast. My life. And theirs. Can we just slow it down? Stop it, even. *** To think, I couldn’t wait for this little boy to grow up. But now I’m done with growing. I want it to end. Because this boy face is too old now. This boy body too big. And his rhythm is now independent of me. His rhythm is all his own. It, and time, march on. While I wince at just trying to keep up. *** It’s going by too fast. It’s what everyone says. We [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 17, 2010
17 Years Ago
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kids
April 16, 2010
A Lusty Little Biography – Yes
So, I’m going to take a shortcut and combine the last two posts. Because time and again Lust is what has brought me to Yes. Girls: Beware. Your mama is going to tell a few tales here. Might be TMI. So sure, I was a teenager and suffered the usual throes of uncontrolled craving. And sometimes these led me into situations I can’t remember without cringing. Like Tim, the super cool summertime boyfriend, who bought a used police car at a June auction, and discovered a secret button hidden on the driver’s side that could make the car accelerate 0 [...]
Read More in GG Writes, three kidsApril 16, 2010
Happy Birthday, Oh Matriarch of our Family
So very many of us wouldn’t be here without you. Your six children (and their spouses) Your more than a dozen grandchildren (and some of their spouses!) And nine great-grandchildren For now. We all have been touched by your wisdom, your grace and your strength. And we each have countless memories of moments shared with you, lessons learned, advice sought. And tomorrow, many of us will gather for a celebration in your honor. What a privilege for us all. To be in a room together, our eyes looking toward you in gratitude and admiration. All of us owing you more [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, three kidsApril 15, 2010
What We Remember
Talk during a recent dinner with old friends: “So, I was at my high school reunion last year and, when everyone started telling old stories, all I could do was nod and go uh huh, uh huh, ‘cause I didn’t remember a thing.” “Well, I can’t remember my phone number from day to day. Too many numbers in my life.” “Yeah, me either. And how about all the times you run upstairs, only to forget what you’re going for, and have to go all the way back downstairs to remember?” “Or when you forget someone’s name? And they lived next [...]
Read More in GG Writes, three kidsApril 12, 2010
Happy Birthday, Shaggy! Shall We Plan a Camping Trip?
P.S. Geez, was I a TOTALLY lousy big sister? Not letting you in the tent? Geez. P.P.S. Or, wait, no. I remember. You were a pesky little sister, right? P.P.P.S. Good thing none of it matters now.
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kidsApril 11, 2010
Easily and Gracefully
I actually looked up the word supple in the dictionary. And I’m glad I did. Because here’s the definition, according to Merriam-Webster: bending and moving easily and gracefully Easily. And Gracefully. That’s the part that speaks to me when it comes to being emotionally supple. I want to bend easily and gracefully in the ways that I react to things. I want to be able to breathe and take in what is in front of me, whether an entire container of art beads strewn across the kitchen floor or a child dancing through the house singing a song in a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 10, 2010
I’m Not Good at Twitter
I gave it a try. But, well, let’s face it, Twitter and I are not meant to be friends. I was never one of the popular crowd. In high school I had a friend–a best friend–who was a cheerleader. But, well, I never hung out with the other cheerleaders. There was something unspoken and mutually understood about my place–or UNplace–in the social gatherings of the day. Also, for Twitter? I don’t have the time. Even if it does only require (less than) 140 characters. I mean, I know I write about this all the time, my lack of time. And [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsApril 9, 2010
This Is My Life? Peace and Quiet
E is napping. (Almost four hours so far!) B is at a friend’s house apres school. S is helping me clean, REALLY clean. It is quiet. And peaceful. And productive around here. Is this really my life? I am savoring it. I know there may be only minutes–or just seconds, even–left.
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 9, 2010
What’s In My Bag
Miss Liz from But Then I Had Kids tagged me and Jen for the fun little meme that’s been going around. I was a bit ashamed to put up a picture of the old bag I had slung over my shoulder. It was a sad, sad thing. But Spring has sprung and my birthday is days away, so I treated myself to a cute new bag with matching wristlet. Goodbye brown suede bag! Our days are officially over. I will not pull you out of the closet for a “change of scenery.” You are no longer welcome in my world [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 8, 2010
Today, you can
Yesterday was hard. Hard hard hard. The kind of hard that is actually pretty simple, but you feel tested every second of the day anyway. Like someone is asking you if you can handle it. The mundane. Another nap time. Another meal time. Another cross-your-fingers-that-the-tv-works time. Ethan woke up at 1 am on Tuesday night — or is it Wednesday morning? — and never went back to sleep. So every little bitty thing about the day was hard just hard the exhaustion was real my heart was lost left in the bed where my sleep was robbed of me I [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 7, 2010
Top Tips: A Sampling
There are things we all wished we’d known before we had kids. Things we wish other mothers had told us about. Things beyond “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Things like, sometimes squeezing in a shower is an accomplishment more satisfying than your greatest professional achievement. So, we’ve decided to offer up some tips of our own. A brief glimpse at the many things we’ve learned since becoming moms–in most cases since becoming moms of three. Here’s what we have for you this time, in no particular order at all: 1. Say Yes to your kids as often as you can. [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 6, 2010
Familiarity
I wish I could have written what Amanda wrote over the weekend. Her post on looking in the mirror reflects so much of what I’ve been feeling lately. I am so grateful to have found Amanda’s blog, with her gorgeously written posts about a life that is so familiar to me I feel as if I am looking in a mirror just taking in her words. And, after getting lost in her writing, I find myself asking If so many of us are feeling the same way Then why is it so often that we feel alone?
Read More in body image, home, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsApril 5, 2010
A Heroic Quest
Required Reading >> There are few things you must know Yesterday I was feeling lost. Oh so very, very lost. I could not figure out what to do with myself. And so, with coffee cup in hand, I started perusing my bookshelves for words of meaning and purpose. A favorite of mine sat perched near the edge on its side, left there for easy access. I ruffled through and read several passages of The Parent’s Tao Te Ching, but came back time and time again to one, in particular. So I decided to share it here on the blog. Today [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 1, 2010
Test Post
March 30, 2010
Emotional suppleness
This morning on my drive into work, I happened upon an interview with scientist Stephen S. Hall. In talking about his new book Wisdom: From Philosophy to Science he used the term “emotional suppleness.” I didn’t hear much of what he said after that, because I just kept repeating those two words over and over to myself. Emotional suppleness. Emotional suppleness. I’ve written about my struggles for time, about wanting to be mindful of my children’s childhoods while also preparing them for adulthood, about the challenges of getting kids into bed, of keeping calm, of not wanting to be judged [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kids, writingMarch 29, 2010
the rainbows of my life
play me [Audio clip: view full post to listen] a rainbow bridges over my life i see myself beneath it i stand tall in the middle looking up and back and forth side to side the smile of my first-born son at one end the beginning of it all this life my existence my motherhood my heart pulled and pushed and twisted torn tattered tattooed i heave and sigh. so many thoughts and emotions. so much to do. even more to feel. i breathe quick and slow. heavy and hard. sometimes i forget i am breathing at all. and think [...]
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Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 26, 2010
Swap
Yesterday we hosted Kristen from Motherese, and today she’s hosting me! Due to a week of fevers, coughs, teething and other unexpected complications, I was left feeling less than able to compose something new. So, at Kristen’s brilliant suggestion, I went back to the archives, and I settled on a piece originally published last June. I could probably have written a post about how strange and somewhat uncomfortable it was to go back and reread my writing of a year. (Cringe.) Perhaps another day. Anyway, to read a little something about books and reading and why Sarah and I are [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 23, 2010
The Mommy Contest
We could also have titled this “Why We Think Moms Should Give Up a Little Control” but, that just doesn’t sound as catchy, does it? So, The Mommy Contest We don’t want to win the mommy contest You know the one The one where you have to be the smartest the calmest the one with the superhero costume in her purse the healthy snacks and the right answers to everything We spend so much time thinking and talking about what it is to be a mother Because the judgments come from every direction There are no clear answers anywhere And [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 22, 2010
The evolution of parenting three kids
A very wise reader named Cathy recently emailed me during my dealings with a certain little liar we know. Cathy is a mom to three boys, like me, and had this to say about having three kids: Parenting my first is an experiment; I practice with my second; the third just seems natural. This sentence caught in my throat as I read it. It cleared the skies and lifted me up. It absolutely defines life with my three boys. Jamis gets the brunt of me. The crispy edges of my parenthood. The raw material, not yet performed. Everything with Max [...]
Read More in Favorites, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 18, 2010
This is My Life: Sunbathing
Don’t be alarmed. It is not ME who is sunbathing. But on this nice, sunny day, a dear member of the family enjoyed the day in the sun (after a thorough spin in the washing machine). Ah, spring.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 15, 2010
Struggling for time
Loud music. And 23 minutes on the dinner timer. Means I have time to sit down at my computer for a moment. Should I be with the rest of the family? Together in the other room. Enjoying the loud music, even louder in there. I am torn. I can actually feel the internal pulling. The I Shoulds: Family. I should be enjoying this time with them. Dancing. Goofing around. Singing to loud music. Taking in their smiles and their little bodies moving freely. Against. The I Wants: Time. Time is what I want. Time to form a complete thought and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingMarch 12, 2010
Liar Update: Planting a Seed
I love the comments here. I love the community. I love that I can ask for advice and you all deliver. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you can catch up by reading yesterday’s post about my 7-year-old liar. I picked up the kids yesterday afternoon and proceeded with the day as usual. I wanted the conversation with my little liar to be one-on-one and uninterrupted, which meant postponing it until the little boys were in bed. However, I still intended to arm myself with some facts. While Jamis was doing homework in the living room, [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 9, 2010
Last Saturday
A family breakfast of crepes and scrambled eggs. Grapefruit and coffee. A walk to the library to return books and take out videos. Lunch together. A houseful of blankets washed and hung to dry on the clothesline, drooping from a winter of ice and snow. A bike ride for B, S and Sweetie; a long nap for E; and reading on the porch for me. Catching up with neighbors after months of a housebound season. PJs before dinner, which has been cooking all day in the Crock-Pot, filling the house with the aromas of Indian spices. *** I came to [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 6, 2010
Spring Again
I am ready for Spring. I am ready for fresh and new and change and glee. Grass that greens under the soft, bare feet of my three boys. Sprinklers to chill us on the warm days and mist us on the hot ones. I am ready for bouncing through the air as if swept up with the breeze. I am ready to be unleashed. Unlocked. There are glimpses of it here and there in our mixed up, messy New England weather. And there are glimpses of the freedom that warmth and sunshine bring: walks to the playground that don’t require [...]
Read More in mind/body, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 2, 2010
Thanks for noticing me
So there I am, loading the kids into the truck. Tying balloons onto car seats so they make it home from the birthday party. Fastening buckles. Unwrapping Smarties and Dum Dums for the short ride to Geege’s house. Rearranging the bags in the front seat so there is room for me to sit and drive. Chattering to the kids. Answering their questions. Finding their sippy cups. As far as loading in goes, this is a successful venture. A car pulls up. A window rolls down. I catch it all in the corner of my eye. “Everything OK, Jen? You need [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsFebruary 28, 2010
No, I’m not pregnant
I ran 7 miles on Saturday. (Collective cheer!) And then I came home and disrobed and stood in front of the mirror. (Collective sigh.) I stared head-on at my figure as the steam billowed from the shower. What a downer. I pulled and pushed at my body. I bent down and took notice of how things hang. I glared. It’s not pretty. And neither am I. Or at least, I feel far from it. I stepped on the scale. (Secondary sigh.) I’m pretty sure the current number represents one too many days of treating myself, or easing myself. It’s also [...]
Read More in body image, exercise, mind/body, Sarah Writes, three kidsFebruary 25, 2010
This is my life: My boys, My heart
Little boys are little boys are little boys are…cute. Want-to-eat-you-up cute. Want-to-bury-you-in-the-couch-cushions cute. Want-to-make-a-fort-and-hide-in-it-with-you-forever cute. My boys are rough and tumble. My boys are sweet. My boys are unafraid and loud, quirky and energetic. They are all mine, and I am nothing but lucky. And when I think I’m missing out on something by being a mama of all boys, only boys, boys-all-the-time boys, not-a-pink-dress-in-sight boys, I can look at these photos and sweetly smile and say, “Yeah, this is my life. And it’s a great, great life.” Look at my little George Washington in the bottom right-hand corner. Oh [...]
Read More in boys, Sarah Writes, three kidsFebruary 23, 2010
Thank Yous
THANK YOU To the Cheerio fairy, who showed up on my deck a few weeks ago with a box for B’s upcoming school party. To the parents of B’s friend, who drive him to and from school more than I do. To the parents of S’s friend. (See above re: school.) To dear friends who came to dinner and brought with them not only a gorgeous and tasty salad but truth and honesty and humor and comfort that Sweetie and I are not alone in this parenting gig. To all of the people who are helping to show my children [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 22, 2010
Take 7 Minutes Out of Your Day
February 19, 2010
Consequences and Punishments
What are you doing? Nothing, he says. What’s in your mouth? Nothing, he says. Open it. (He opens it. Can’t see anything. Candy must be hidden inside his cheek.) Were you in the bathroom? No, he says. Were you in the pantry getting candy without asking? No, he says. Then what were you doing? I was walking around and reading, he says. (I have mandated an hour of peace in my house. The little boys are napping. It’s been a busy on-the-go morning and I’m reclining on the couch, laptop perched, dog’s head rested on my legs. I don’t want [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsFebruary 17, 2010
This is my life: Food Before Blog
Although I am tinkering with about 12 different posts right now–both on-screen and in-mind–I thought I’d send out a little something to whet your whistle. Reason No. 29 why I haven’t written a new blog post in nearly a week: I went away for the weekend and left my kids in the hands of Fabulous-Babysitter-Kelsey and Rockin’-Mama-Geege. You want to know what else I left in their hands? Bio-hazardous waste masquerading as edibles in my refrigerator. In between thinking about, procrastinating, and actually DOING the packing for my weekend getaway, cleaning out the fridge was overlooked. Upon returning from the [...]
Read More in chores, Sarah Writes, three kidsFebruary 13, 2010
There’s Still Time!
We want you to Love It Up! So, after you’re perfected that mushy love letter to your Sweetie (or to the chocolates, roses and conversation hearts), link up here. It’s easy, and you’ll be joining an already rich pool of entrants. (Take a read through! Leave a comment!) After Sarah returns from her Valentine weekend away, she and I will review all the entries over a box of chocolates. We’ll select a winner and send any remaining chocolates as first prize. (Just kidding; we’ll put together a Valentine’s Day-inspired bundle of goodies for the winner.) Entries must be linked up [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 7, 2010
A Short Love Letter to My Sweetie
Dear Sweetie, Twelve years ago I chose you. Every day since I have chosen you. It is the easiest choice I have ever made. And I will make it again and again. All my love, Me
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsFebruary 6, 2010
There comes a time when the yelling has to stop
I rocked my 7-year-old boy in my arms, his long body hanging off mine, flowing onto the white down comforter and the well-worn green flannel sheets that wrapped the mattress of my own childhood bed. How can he be so big? It’s not fair that I can’t curl him into me anymore. I sat and held him while he sobbed. I felt the release of his cares and his worry–his constant awareness of the expectations he can never seem to meet. Our expectations. “The little boys take a lot of work, don’t they?” I asked. “Yeah,” he muttered. “It’s crazy [...]
Read More in oldest child, Sarah Writes, three kidsFebruary 1, 2010
Now’s Your Chance to Love it Up
My discovery of a treasure trove of correspondence, much between me and Sarah (tidbits here and here), led one of our most supportive readers to suggest that we all could write more love letters. And, Amber, you are right. I’ve been thinking about your comment for just about three months now. Add to that the fact that things seem a little lonely—boring, even—around these parts lately. So Sarah and I thought it was time for another challenge, of sorts. And with Valentine’s Day just two weeks away, we decided this is the perfect time. Our latest endeavor is Love it [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJanuary 29, 2010
I am (finally?) the person everybody wants to be around
My 1-year-old stands beside the couch patting the cushion, motioning me to sit down instead of pick up old pretzel chunks from the floor. And if I sit she will heft her solid little body up next to me, crawl on top of me, and stay. (For about 10 seconds.) My 5-year-old waits. Waits. Playing with a truck. Or sitting on his bed rubbing Theo’s ear. I don’t know. But he waits. For me to turn off the shower. And before I can reach for a towel I hear, “Mama? Mom?” My 4-year-old asks if I will “suggle” with her [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJanuary 27, 2010
This is my life: Three Wild Boys
This video really says it all but I can’t resist adding a few words–after all, I’m a word girl. On more than one occasion I’ve had people come to our house and stand in the hallway afraid to step foot in the living room. They witness boys literally bouncing off walls, off each other, the floor, the couch, the puppy. I know what they are thinking: that I have absolutely no control over my kids and I let them run rampant and how on Earth can I allow this behavior to continue. No wonder I look so tired, no wonder [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsJanuary 26, 2010
Lip Service
As a mother with three young children who look to me and their father for guidance on everything from getting dressed to knowing when it is safe to cross the street, I think about the lessons I’m imparting. I think about the details of our days. I think about the times I yell at them and shouldn’t have. Or how I could have answered a difficult question differently. I think about how much little stuff goes into creating memorable lives for them. I want to create memories for my children. As parents, Sweetie and I have started traditions—of going to [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJanuary 20, 2010
This is my life: Two hours at a time
Sarah and I thought we’d start a new series. Simple pieces and/or photos that just tell it like it is. The basic day-to-day of having three kids. Straightforward and less about the emotional part of mothering every now and then. We’ve decided to call it This is My Life. So, here goes my first attempt: My days are divided into two-hour blocks, which go something like this. 6:30 a.m. Wake up 8:30 a.m. Out the door to drop off B and S at school 9:30 a.m. Home from drop off 11:30 a.m. Out the door to pick up S 12:30 [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJanuary 18, 2010
Perspective
Max is two. Officially. But almost-nearly-not-quite three. He has a bump on his tummy next to his navel. It comes and goes, protruding a barely noticeable amount one day and becoming an alarming size the next. We don’t know what it is. The doctor doesn’t know what it is. And in common terms, it’s freaking me out! _______________________ My car broke down last week. I was driving along and then I wasn’t. And then I was stuck at home, or was I? The kids went off to school and dayhome and I was left to a house full of laundry [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsJanuary 16, 2010
Humbled
How can I sit in my HOUSE, look around at my THINGS and want MORE? When there are people who have nothing, have lost everything and don’t even know if their loved ones are alive? Why, so often, does it take the worst to make me appreciate all that I have. This amazing family. A safe, warm, happy home. Friends. My sister. The other night I watched a documentary about the Young at Heart Chorus, a group of men and women whose average age is 80 (or older!) who perform across the world. They sing songs by the Ramones, James [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJanuary 14, 2010
We care what people think about us
I went for a swim last night. I wanted release. I wanted weightlessness. The constant, rhythmic exertion. The void of outside distraction. The forced internal focus. The freedom of knowing I have nowhere to hide. That it is just me and the water. And that time, though tracked by lengths and breaths, is suspended. I can slip between the minutes and vanish from the public eye. I got in the pool and I did a few laps and I waited for the smooth motions to take over my body and for my mind to find it’s essential resting spot for [...]
Read More in body image, exercise, health, mind/body, Sarah Writes, three kidsJanuary 13, 2010
Remember Gremlins?
I wasn’t going to write anything at all with this. However, I feel it is vital to point out that Tammy was Sarah’s beloved Cabbage Patch doll. As far as I know, all other references are to actual people. (But don’t ask me about the Nerds in hearts.)
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kidsJanuary 12, 2010
(un)stuck
Yesterday I was cruising along in my car singing the Pussycat Dolls. It was the middle of the work day and I was being a good girl and doing the bank run. I hate to do the bank run. What’s fun about depositing tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars into accounts that are not yours? Nothing. Nothing at all. It’s rather depressing, actually. But I was rather content with the day. Just for being. Thank you, day, for being what you are sometimes. Another chance. Upon leaving the bank I noticed a puddle in the parking lot. My van [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsJanuary 7, 2010
A Writer’s Life?
How much of my life should I reveal here? Where do I draw the line regarding what personal details or thoughts or doubts to include? Does leaving myself vulnerable make me naive? Negligent? Irresponsible? To myself? To others whose lives are inseparable from my own? But. How can I be authentic without sometimes being vulnerable? These are some of the questions that arise again and again. And the answers are no closer to the surface. I know that I will not post photos. Or use names. I will not reveal any identifying details about where I live. Perhaps you could [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingJanuary 6, 2010
The Receipt
With a play cash register, some plastic food, a marker, a small pad of paper and a reusable grocery bag, my children started the day playing. Together. A grocery store. A list. Shopping. They played in one room as I sat in another, drinking coffee, listening to their imaginations float through to me. I smiled. I laughed. I made a grocery list for them. They were the cashier and the customer. They called for a price check and a cleanup in aisle 9, or their own equivalent of each. I tuned out and tuned in as I sat, doing something, [...]
Read More in chores, home, Jen Writes, oldest child, siblings, three kidsJanuary 5, 2010
Should I let my kid win sometimes?
When I was a kid my brother, my sister and I would hole up in a bedroom or the corner of the living room during the Holiday break and start a marathon tournament of Monopoly. At least, I assume it was winter. I think I remember flannel pajamas, well-worn slippers and blankets tucked around our legs. I know I remember mornings before my parents had risen spent trading Park Place for all of those Orange properties. St. James Place? New York Avenue? I remember the sound of the tossing dice–cheers and grumbles both at the resulting numbers. I remember losing [...]
Read More in motherhood, oldest child, Sarah Writes, three kidsJanuary 4, 2010
Sometimes you have to just let them fend for themselves
The kids, I mean. Your kids. The ones who are constantly underfoot. Asking for something. A snack. Help. A story. A solution to their everpresent boredom. But sometimes you just have to let them fend for themselves. You have to let them fight, keeping an ear out for bloodshed but otherwise staying out of it. Sometimes you just have to make the decision to get something done. So you find the hammer and level. And the picture hangers. And you dust off the photos you’ve been meaning to hang for months. And some, for years. And you just go for [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsJanuary 2, 2010
Ten from Jen: Blog Posts of 2009
We only started Momalom in March. But I liked Scary Mommy’s idea of choosing a favorite post from each month. This was more difficult than I anticipated. Not because I’m so vain to think that I have many “bests,” but because I read so many old posts and relived so many moments of introspection of the past year. A side-effect of blogging, I am finding. But it’s a good way to pause and reflect, too, which is something I’ve been trying to do. So, here are my top 10 of 2009. March: Wine with dinner makes me philosophical (Be careful [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 31, 2009
Blue Moon
Happy New Year. Happy New Decade. Happy 2010. There are a few more hours of 2009 in my place in the world, and I am anxious to ring in the New Year. The kids are in bed, and I just peeked outside at the full moon. The second this month. How perfect. How rare. A blue moon on New Year’s Eve. To me this means second chances. Renewal. It means there are good things in store in the coming year. Things that rarely have happened before in my life. Better things. Even mystical things. Tonight, I am crossing the threshold [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsDecember 30, 2009
(Be)longing
Was I lying when I wrote about not apologizing for my dreams? Because I haven’t been doing much to further those dreams lately. I have been composing only in my head. At night. Long after everyone else in the house is asleep. Or I have been jotting down notes on a legal pad between trips to the kitchen to do a dish, get a snack, refill a juice cup. But I have not been here. Here. At the computer, the porthole to the blog, at night, after the kids are asleep. I have not. Instead I have been with my [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, home, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingDecember 29, 2009
The Life I Lead
I imagine a different life from time to time. I imagine a bank account with many zeroes. A larger house. Curtains that match. Walls that are painted with one swish of an arm. I imagine nooks and crannies elegantly decorated for comfort, inviting me to read a book with my children. Floor pillows I’ve had the time to sew. Meals homemade and nourishing–like my sister knows how to do. But it is a different life I lead right now. Rushed and harried. But not forever. And I am not alone. Some days are calm and flow with me. I can [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsDecember 28, 2009
Five for Fighting
There is so much fighting in this house that it makes me want to scream. No. It does make me scream. And then I’m only adding to the mess. Heightening it, actually. How are the children to learn self-discipline and composure when I’m flying off the handle? How are they to learn patience with sharing and learning when my husband has so little patience with them? It’s the same conundrum so many mothers face: I’m yelling at my kids to stop yelling. Oh the irony. The painful, not so simple, irony. And it just doesn’t seem to quit. No matter [...]
Read More in boys, Sarah Writes, three kidsDecember 27, 2009
A Christmas Wish Come True
I keep thinking about magic. It’s the time of year no doubt. The tales I tell of Santa and his sleigh. The songs we sing. The reindeer food that we’ll throw up to the roof on Christmas eve. The enchantment of gifts that will spill out from under the tree, delighting us all with their pretty papers and silky bows. It is magical. The spirit of giving. The charm of a season. The memories and traditions we are creating in this cozy house of ours. Despite all the stresses of money and time–how much to spend, what to give, when [...]
Read More in holidays, Sarah Writes, three kidsDecember 16, 2009
Priorities, Insecurities and Experiences
Maybe you’ve noticed it’s been a while since I wrote anything substantive. (Maybe that’s my ego talking and you haven’t noticed anything at all about me. That’s just the way it should be, actually.) Here’s the thing: The week of daring writing paralyzed me. All week I thought daring thoughts, walked out to the ends of every emotional gangplank in my psyche and ended up crying on Friday morning when my Sweetie called to ask if he should pick up coffee on his way home. So, no daring post from me. Perhaps it’s not the right time. Perhaps I was [...]
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Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 13, 2009
The Half-Drunk Winner Is?
Jen and I have read every entry. We have talked, emailed and Instant Messaged all week. We are awestruck. We are honored. Every one of our participants gave this community something brave and daring. Something that we, ourselves, found difficult to do. Time and time again we both came back to Kitch. Her words pummeled me with honesty and depth and heartache. With introspection and reflection alike. I am proud to name The Kitchen Witch as the winner of our Half-Drunk Challenge. But dare I say we all are winners? Dare I? Has it not been an amazing week? More [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsDecember 13, 2009
Cast Your Ballot
Thank you. Just Really. Thank you. Jen and I are blown away by the response to the Half-Drunk Challenge. It was just another idea, you see. An idea that I threw out there. An idea that became, like Five for Ten, a self-sustaining means to new connections, and stronger connections–to a group of insightful people that choose, like us, to spend a great amount of time in the written world. My two littlest boys are snug in their beds for a midday nap. The oldest child plays games with his father. I finally have some time to cozy up in [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsDecember 11, 2009
Breakable
[Audio clip: view full post to listen] There are certain things my husband just will not do. It amazes me that he has the resolve to walk away so easily. To leave something undone. Without guilt. Without a second thought. To leave it in my hands. My hands that are already exhausted by all that needs doing in life. The chores, the tasks, the mountains of laundry. The wiping of noses, the tying of laces, the dressing, feeding, caretaking of my mommy life. I am exhausted by the mere thought of it all, let alone the execution. Exhausted by trying [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, chores, fatherhood, housework, motherhood, relationship, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsDecember 8, 2009
Wanna be Momalomanonymous?
So, we have this idea. If you would like to participate in our Half-Drunk Challenge but you need an anonymous place to post, we can help. A few of you have said that you can’t write what you really want to write and publish it on your own blog. Too real. Too daring. Too something for your family, your friends, your own regular readers, you. Whatever your feelings, your reasons, your hesitations, we would like to help. So, if you want to participate but you don’t have a blog or don’t want to post your entry on your blog, please [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 8, 2009
Drunk Love – Song and Celebration
Excuse the typos. And the grammatical errors. And the nonsensicalness. But I? Am drunk. Most definitely so. Just wanted to impart two things tonite. In a silly way. And in a somewhat daring way. To keep the vibe of the challenge going. 1. Tonight, while being subjected to the Carrie Underwood special on television, my husband and I admitted to one another that we actually like the following song. Let me be clear: we are not country. However, after divulging that I freely sing along when I hear it, Dan chimed in that he’ll give way to robust sing-a-long also [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, relationship, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsDecember 7, 2009
A Few Clarifications About Our Half-Drunk Challenge and Some Ideas of How to Get Started
1. You DO NOT have to have a blog to take part in the Half-Drunk Challenge. If you would like to write something specifically for us, we would be honored. Write write away, submit your essay/story to one of us via e-mail, and we will take it from there. (See those nice little e-mail buttons over there to your right? Go.) 2. You DO NOT have to be drunk (or daring) all week. We are not promoting total annihilation of holiday responsibility. We are simply giving you a week to put together your most daring, bravest and, if you so [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 5, 2009
Half-Drunk Challenge
Play Me [Audio clip: view full post to listen] The morning I woke up hungover and remembered I had actually published a post entitled Drunken Rambling about my Optimistic Clitoris I decided to challenge as many readers as I could to write something daring. This particular post of mine was clearly the result of Nablopomo pressure, four Gin and Tonics, and a lack of any other ideas at the time. But I wondered what could happen if we actually PLANNED to get loose and write! So here we go. Start your engines. Get out the cabernet. This is a challenge [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsDecember 4, 2009
Voila: C’est une gerbil triste
Here it is. The sad gerbil. Heartbreaking, isn’t it. The frown. Did the gerbil miss me while I was away at camp? Is the gerbil just a fill-in for Sarah? Did she miss me? I love this piece of notebook paper, so lovingly crafted into mixed-media artwork. The letters in bold marker and the attention-to-detail strokes of the crayon-colored gerbil fur. I love thinking about the time Sarah took to create this masterpiece. She was likely just 6 years old, as the rest of my gerbil-mentioning camp letters were from 1984. And here we are, 25 years later. And my [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kidsI have two separate text documents on my computer filled with attempts at explaining my reaction to Jen’s post from yesterday. It’s important for me to respond to her even though I’ve been having some trouble finding all the words. She has spun a stimulating thread here. I have read and reread the insightful comments from our dedicated readers, and it is obvious that her words have inspired a wealth of thoughts and emotions about our roles as parents. How we foster independence in our children. How much or little we intervene with their choices. How accepting we are of [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, sisters, three kidsDecember 1, 2009
Why my kids have milk mustaches, skinned knees and chore charts
Out of necessity, I have given up a lot of control. A LOT. That’s what happens when you are outnumbered by your children. And your children’s needs. You have to let things go. And here’s what has happened since I stopped wiping faces after every meal or even caring if they’ve had three meals rather than eight snacks: I’ve come to believe that me giving up a certain amount of control of my kids is good for everyone. It takes the pressure off of me. And for the kids? They learn risk, responsibility, consequences. Also pride. And humility. But the [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsNovember 30, 2009
And the winners are…
Thanksgiving was perfecto! However, it did kinda sorta skew my focus for a few days. It’s taken me longer than I expected to get to this post. It seems I was more concerned about eating pie and keeping toddlers out of trouble than I was about the blog. Phew! That was hard to admit. Especially after Five for Ten. Especially after the influx of comments and blogs we so happily devoured. I will shamelessly say that I spent much more time with my computer than I did with my kids for those ten days. That this blog space was more [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 29, 2009
High Hopes
Dear Cuisinart Food Processor, I love you. I really do. Without you there would be no hummus. Without you, making macaroni and cheese (uh, I mean Cheesy Noodle Casserole) would be so much more difficult. Without you roasted potatoes would not be as evenly sliced. But, most importantly, without you my holiday mustard would be impossible to make. Impossible. So, please. Don’t die on me. Not now. I know you’re feeling old. And cracked. And worn out. Maybe even unappreciated. Let me assure you that I love you. I count on you. And I need you. Do not die on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 28, 2009
The banter of family
We talk about sleep. Wine-induced sleep. What a blessing. What a curse. We talk about age. Sixty and six months and everything in between. What it means to grow old. What it takes to stay young. We talk about the kids. How active they are. How much energy they have. How much energy they take. From us. All day. We banter. About the little things. Happily. Because we are family. And this is what we do. And it is comfortable. To talk about nothing in particular. When you are with family. There is no agenda. No point. No expectation. But [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 27, 2009
Out of the closet and into the heart
I spent much of the day cleaning out and organizing closets. Going through bins. Throwing out dried up Play-Doh and tempera paint. Sweeping up mouse poop. Putting all of the unused batteries into one box. And uncovering TREASURES. TREASURES, people. Treasures. I found 12-year-old e-mails between me and Sarah. I found letters Sarah wrote to me while I was at camp—in 1984. Also, handwritten letters she sent to me at college, when Sarah was not yet a teenager, with the return address of “Barftown, USA.” Oh, how I wish I had a scanner. There is a drawing of a sad [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 25, 2009
Loose ends and a few thoughts
Oh MY! Where is that lovely graphic to begin the post? What? Five for Ten is over? (Boo boo lip.) I think it’s going to take some time to recover. Right now we are in the process of basking in your lovely comments and figuring out T-shirt details. Bear with us, ladies. We’ll be in touch. (We also are baking pies and figuring out if the kids have any decent clean clothes to wear for Thanksgiving tomorrow, ya know?) In the meantime, here’s something for you (ladies and gentlemen, both) to think about: A thread that seemed to recur during [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 24, 2009
Lasting Impressions
I can’t quite believe it is the final day here at Five for Ten. Excuse me if I run long today, my heart is full. Very full. My heart runneth over with worry and fear and joy and expression and memory on most days, but today it is filled with lasting amounts of honesty and love. Honest love. The draft of the very first Five for Ten post – the introduction to our adventure – sat on my laptop waiting for a little bit of bravery. I finished typing it up and went to the couch for a Friday night [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 23, 2009
What I Learned on My Weekend Away
I still love J lots and lots. He still loves me. We still like to take long walks and people watch. I can still do a pretty decent job on the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle. Great friends and great food make for a great time and great memories. I miss my kids when we aren’t together. It’s nice to have a new shirt to wear every once in a while. I can recognize and name all Celtics starters, even without the benefit of close-up television and Tommy Heinsohn’s commentary. I may have completely lost the ability to sleep [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsNovember 22, 2009
Sunday thoughts from Momalom’s Mom
I never had a nickname growing up, unless you’d count the one strange summer I answered to the name of Rabbit by my preteen campers. Perhaps it was in honor of the two high ponytails I wore. What was I thinking – only someone as little and cute as Sarah can get away with that. My counselor friends all had these great nicknames like The Binker (!) and Sukey and Mikey – well, I thought they were cute at the time, and I WANTED one. Was I un-nickname-able? Not cute, funny, athletic, smart, fill-in-the-blank enough? But then I became a [...]
Read More in GG, GG Writes, three kidsNovember 21, 2009
Vacation Day
As you read this, my sweetie and I are on our weekend getaway. I’ve been planning for this for months. Since about the time Sarah surprised Dan with his weekend getaway, and I spent the weekend at Sarah’s with all six kids. Which is where the six kids are now. With Sarah. At Sarah’s. And I have no doubt that everyone is fine. As for me and my sweetie, we do not get away together often. This trip is a birthday present to him. And all I told him was that he needed to be packed by 3:00 Friday afternoon. [...]
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Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsLast night a local news station ran a story about mommy bloggers, featuring us. Me. and Sarah. Momalom. She was shown unloading the (my!) dishwasher. I was shown painting with my daughter. We were shown together leaning over a computer. It was strange to see us on TV. And to see the clips chosen for the piece, the few seconds selected from among the hour the reporter spent in my home two Wednesdays ago. It was strange that what we saw on screen was not anything like the conversations that Sarah and I have daily. I mean, we each were [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 17, 2009
Old stairs. New (older) stairs. Will somebody please identify the metaphor for me?
On Sunday one of my neighbors entered my house. She had borrowed a portable crib and a high chair to accommodate a houseguest in the form of a toddler. And she was returning the equipment. I heard her come in. I was upstairs with the baby, searching the girls’ room for two matching shoes. B, downstairs, yelled, “Mom. Like, Lisa’s here.” (He watches a lot of, like, Scooby Doo.) I went down the stairs more carefully than usual, because just that morning J had ripped them open to expose the original stairs–circa 1870ish–and they’re a little uneven and splintery and [...]
Read More in chores, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 16, 2009
When you aren’t sure what to write, just ask
Reminders. If you are just joining us here and wondering what that big, bold Five for Ten sign is up there, well, be daring and click on it! It is not too late to jump in. Hell, I’m late for everything. We’ll love you just the same if you commit today and join in the connections. If you have the time to click over to any of the other readers leaving us the most fabulous comments, please do. It is not a requirement of the game, but how about making another blogger’s day just a little bit happier? Oh, I [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 15, 2009
On your mark, get set, go!
Or, as they say in the rowing world, Ready All, Row! Yesterday I received a medal in the mail. A bronze medal. Remember this? Well, our boat won a medal. (OK, OK, so there were only three boats in the race. I’m still proud of the medal.) It was kind of nice opening the mailbox and finding a bulky envelope with my name on it. And it was kind of nice to have to wait for the medal. The race was several weeks ago, true, but receiving the medal through the mail just helped me relive the great experience. It [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 14, 2009
Come on. You know you want to!
Listen Here. We all spend a heck of a lot of time thinking about our lives, breaking things down into posts, and piecing the words together. We deserve a little more from it all, and Jen and I really want to make that happen. So we have decided to start Five for Ten. If you are just landing here, please take a moment to read yesterday’s post and then come on back. Rules of the Game. Eek. I have a great aversion to the word “rules” – except when it comes to my kids, of course – but I suppose [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 13, 2009
Five for Ten
How do you ask people to stop and take a look at your blog for five minutes a day, ten days in a row, so that you can have a chance at proving yourself? Wait, no. It’s not proof you need. It’s connection. To give and to get. To form. It’s helping people understand that you want is to create a space that is so full of connections that they feel compelled to touch base. It is building this place where we speak to each other. Where the writer reaches out and the reader reaches back. Where the conversations flourish [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 12, 2009
Motherhood has made me braver
Play Me [Audio clip: view full post to listen] I’ve been listening to this song over and over and over in the car during my drive to work. I started because it’s the only CD I had in the car for some reason. And I have a long commute. And I tire of NPR after 30 minutes or so. And I love this song. I’ve been singing out loud, marveling at the lyrics, at the romanticism in a song that doesn’t have the raw sound of romance until you do focus on the lyrics. To the line, “And she’ll know [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 11, 2009
Fathers and sons
Many years ago I made a shallow attempt to start writing again. I was a new mom spending my days at home with a new babe. Something about all that time on my hands encouraged me to find my words again. It had been too long. A part of me remained void without a notebook filled by scrawls and scratches tucked under my arm. I was empowered by the thought of reconnecting with that piece of myself and took small steps to get there. When I finally turned on the faucet a black slop gooped out. After a few days [...]
Read More in boys, fatherhood, history aka before kids, Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 10, 2009
In the moments after bedtime
I am sitting here, waiting for the words to come. I have started a half dozen posts, but none is coming out the way I want it to. They don’t meet my expectations. I don’t meet my expectations. But it’s NaBloPoMo time. I HAVE to post. It’s my night. The pressure’s on. The kids are asleep. The house is quiet. I’m feeling a little better–not SO exhausted that I can’t sit still and type. But the IDEAS. Where are the ideas? I can’t just post another poem. A tribute to someone else. A wish for a makeover. I need some [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, three kidsNovember 9, 2009
Drunken rambling about my optimistic clitoris
I’m three-quarters drunk so why not talk about my boobs for a minute. And the overall state of my body. And beacons of light. Wait, I have to digress for one moment. My husband just got a friend request on Facebook. Ah, yes, the friend request. A coveted thing in some circles. This one came from an old friend from middle school with a name that got chosen by his parents upon throwing a single dart at a dartboard full of names. While navigating Facebook on his iPhone to accept the request he passes through a few status updates. “That’s [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, sex, three kidsNovember 8, 2009
A poem on Sunday
Pardon me while I take the easy way out of my NaBloPoMo responsibilities today. It’s just that I’m tired. And everyone in my family is sick. And I tried to write a post, I really did, but I kept looking over to the wall beside my desk, where I have this poem tacked up. It’s one of my favorites. And I think you should read it.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingNovember 6, 2009
A few words for Mary Ann and Sydna
I bake. I bake yummy things. Often. And one of the things I bake two or three times each week is muffins. I love muffins. And for a while—before kids and then when I had only one and we’d walk into town on a whim—I was in the habit of buying a muffin whenever the opportunity presented itself. But I was never satisfied. They always were too cakey or too oily or too crumbly or had too many blueberries or or or. I tried recipes. Many many recipes. But none was THE ONE. At some point along the way I [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 5, 2009
The moment I decided an IUD was for me
Ethan is my third child. My third boy (yes, I have to remind you of my boy parade every chance I get because I am CLEARLY KEEPING THE DREAM ALIVE THAT I WILL ONE DAY HAVE A DAUGHTER). My post-delivery, six week OB check up went exactly the same as it had 15 months prior when second-boy Max was the little penis in the sling: Everything looks good. Everything checks out. Uterus is contracted. All your parts are in tact. Let’s talk about birth control. These are your options. I recommend an IUD. Here’s what it looks like. Here’s how [...]
Read More in mind/body, Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 4, 2009
me (n) an undefinable entity
What defines you? How do you describe yourself to other moms? To other women who aren’t moms? Are you a mother? Blogger? Partner? Are you a daughter? Artist? Financial planner? Are you a toilet scrubber, grocery shopper, diaper changer, chauffeur? What are you? What am I? What AM I? I am a mother first. Well, I am a woman first. I was a partner first. And then the kids came and took over. I am a meal planner, a cook, a nurturer. I am a toy-picker-upper. I am an editor. And a bedtime-story reader. I am a hugger and a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingNovember 3, 2009
When life gets in the way of motherhood
My boy is sick. He lays beside me in bed right now telling me over and over it’s time for him to go to sleep. Finally admitting that he feels horrible. He isn’t just “fine.” Telling me that he loves me and that he wants me to be right next to him. Right now and all night long. In my big comfortable cloud of a bed. So here we are. Dan will sleep on the couch. I will sleep next to my boy. His fever will drift up and down. I will be here to medicate him and mother him. [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 2, 2009
Confession: I want a mommy makeover
Did you ever see one of those mom makeover segments on a show like Live with Regis and Kelly and wonder What is wrong with that woman? I mean, do the moms that they find for these shows REALLY look SO tragic in real life? Dull, stringy hair and a general overall look that just DEFINES frumpy? A few years ago this didn’t seem possible to me. It seemed to me like they must have given the woman of the day an unmakeover prior to her “before” picture. But, now I’m a mother. A tragic mother. My teeth aren’t yellow [...]
Read More in body image, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsNovember 1, 2009
Many the Miles
Play Me [Audio clip: view full post to listen] I pulled on my running tights yesterday and laced up my new sneakers. I snaked through the streets in my neighborhood, up the hill past a golf course, along tree-lined avenues painted with picturesque houses, through a lonely college campus. It was Halloween and the weather couldn’t have been more elegantly creepy and magical. There was a forceful wind. It pushed me and I pushed right back. Leaves danced across the streets, bathed the sidewalks, and breezed with me as I broke free. From that world indoors. The one that I [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, mind/body, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsOctober 30, 2009
On your mark … Get set …
Well folks, here it is. The stark truth. Staring at me. A while ago Sarah and I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo. And here it is Oct. 30. So we are going to have to gear up. Am I back in with both feet, as Sarah so understandably asked? Yes, I am. So give us tomorrow to gorge ourselves on candy, and we’ll be back every day in November. Yep. Every. Day. Looking forward to seeing you here.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingOctober 27, 2009
The days of no me before motherhood
So I kind of abandoned Sarah this week. Talk about SCARY. I’d been walking around for days frustrated with just about every big aspect of life. (More than usual.) Money. Career. Relationship. Mommyhood. And I’d started to take it all out on my kids. And my partner. I was having imaginary conversations. Out loud. It was getting pretty ugly. And scary. Because I wasn’t making anything better. I was avoiding real conversations that needed to be had. And I was perpetuating a vicious circle of “why am I the only one” thinking. Why am I the only one to see [...]
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, home, housework, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, paid work, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingOctober 27, 2009
Connections
People change me. I am so ready to be changed. It is not a failure or a flaw. It is not a sign that I waffle easily, that I am unsure of who I am and what I want. Instead, I know it to be the natural course of my life. There is always another way to do things. How do I know I’m doing it right? How do I know that I look best in blue? Why would I think that my answers are correct? I look for help. I look for reassurance. I look for change. And most [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsOctober 22, 2009
A very wealthy life
This is the place where we admit it all. Where we say what we can’t say to our friends at the playground. To our neighbors at a backyard barbecue. Where we coddle the voice that sits within. The one that whines in frustration at all the chores and the failures. The deeds undone. The lives we don’t have. But we want. The people we see inside ourselves. But can’t always become. This is the place where we try not to portray ourselves as someone in particular. We place no judgment. We find no fear. We look for resolve. This is [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsOctober 20, 2009
The Holidays. Already?
It is mid-October. The Halloween hype is in full force. TV specials. Pumpkins on doorsteps and fake cobwebs in trees. Costumes in the Sunday newspaper flyers. I can deal with Halloween. This year I will be marching in the local parade alongside a firefighter, a MEAN witch and a baby chick. We will see friends. We will trick or treat. We will eat too much candy. And then, it will be over. But after Halloween? Thanksgiving. Christmas. The New Year. Yes. The holiday season already is upon us. I like the holidays. I do. Somehow even though we are vegetarians, [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 19, 2009
My cultured (?) children
What is it like to LIVE with three kids? It’s messy. And it’s loud. But I have to remind myself that those two things are not always bad. In my house, often the messes are art projects. The remnants of art projects. The precursors to art projects. Just about anything goes when it comes to creating art in our house. Cardboard boxes. Popsicle sticks. Sticks of any kind, actually. Acorns and other assorted organic matter. Feathers. Pom poms. Plastic doohickeys of every shape, size and unknown origin. These things and PAPER are all over my house. As are crayons of [...]
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 18, 2009
Give yourself away
When I was in high school I had a favorite teacher. She would have us freewrite. It was liberating for me. I didn’t understand why some of my classmates would groan. We were given a topic and ten minutes. Our pens were instructed to flow freely and effortlessly and consistently for 10 minutes. And I say “our pens” because they really take on a life of their own when you let your mind just go. I don’t think I ever realized it until now but it was like a meditation. A release of the thoughts. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, history aka before kids, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids, writingOctober 16, 2009
The not-so-big reveal
So, the secret project? It was a book. My sweetie recently endured a significant birthday milestone. Nope. Not that one. Add 10 years. And for his birthday I decided to make him a book. I worked on it during my regular blog-designated hours, and he thought I was blogging. Until he realized how much time I was “blogging.” At which point I had to lie to him. I told him I was working on stuff for momalom’s mom’s wedding. (Thanks, Mom.) I don’t know if he believed me, but he’s not the curious type. So, the book. I agonized over [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, relationship, three kids, three kids (six kids)October 15, 2009
He had kind eyes and he needed my money
Sunday was my husband’s birthday. He is now officially closer to 40 than 30, but whatever. The only reason I mention this is to explain why I took all three hooligans to the grocery store with me. He went mountain biking to relieve some stress – DEAR GOD PLEASE BLOW OFF SOME STEAM MY DEAR HUSBAND – and I gathered ingredients for my world famous Carrot Cake. We blazed through the store successfully, especially considering that since Ethan is too heavy for the sling or the Ergo, Max has been bumped from the cart and is now free-range and roaming [...]
Read More in chores, Sarah Writes, three kidsOctober 14, 2009
Meme: an idea
A Meme aka another random 35 things about Sarah. 1. Where is your cell phone? do you really care? 2. Your hair? never as cute as i want it to be – can i get a stylist please? 3. Your mother? too far away 4. Your father? in the clouds 5. Your favorite food? food, in general. 6. Your dream last night? i was too tired to dream 7. Your favorite drink? i don’t like playing favorites 8. Your dream/goal? let’s pluralize those, shall we? financial stability. another successful marathon (02.14.10). a daughter 9. What room are you in? couch [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsOctober 13, 2009
Broken
The kitchen doorknob The storm door The window (well, two) in the bedroom(s) The drawer in the upstairs bathroom vanity The drawer pulls on most of B’s dresser drawers The drawer pull on the downstairs mittens-and-hat dresser The kitchen silverware drawer The toilet paper dispenser thingy The decorative molding around the back door The deck steps The bulkhead hinges The baby gate Fifty percent of the toys in the house *** Is that all? I was sure the list would be longer.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 9, 2009
I’ve never even touched a cigarette
So. My story is not as dramatic as Sarah’s. Haven’t read hers? You should. I’d link to it here, but you’d probably go and read it. And you’d likely never return. It’s quite gripping. (Maybe I’ll give you another shot later.) My story is so undramatic that it’s difficult to know how to tell it. What to mention. What to leave out. I was the good girl. I didn’t drink. I didn’t smoke. No drugs. No parties. No dates. I’ve never even touched a cigarette. My mom says that when I reached age 5 the hard parts of raising me [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, writingOctober 8, 2009
I think I had an orgasm on my spin bike
I am not generally a sweater. No, we’re not talking merino wool. We’re talking sweat, people, perspiration. So, let me repeat. I am not generally a sweater. I’m usually the one at the end of the race with a bright red face and splotchy limbs, looking a bit under the weather. I push my body to places that it doesn’t really want to go and the exertion settles right under the skin, asking to be released. It’s often a gripe of mine that I don’t sweat, since sweating cools you down and prevents that uncomfortable build up of heat I [...]
Read More in exercise, mind/body, Sarah Writes, sex, three kidsOctober 5, 2009
“You have more to give”
I used to be an athlete. And I was a decent one. Not the strongest, not the most dedicated, not the best. But I was pretty good. I was a collegiate rower. I made the first boat. I was elected captain by my teammates. I medaled in the Head of the Charles once. Being an athlete was a major part of my identity. And yesterday I got to go back in time and get a little glimpse of the me that used to be. It has been a long time since I’ve rowed competitively. I worked as a crew coach [...]
Read More in exercise, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsOctober 1, 2009
A few thoughts on that unmentionable topic: MONEY
If I had known the utter financial ruin that having three kids would do to my life, would I have those three all over again? Well, yes, of course. But if I knew then, as they say … I would not have purchased a 2004 VW Passat Wagon GLS. Oh, no, I wouldn’t have. Mine recently suffered its demise. It is only five years old with 80K miles. I have taken care of it. And yet, it needs a new engine. I am told by a mechanic I trust that this happens a lot with these models. Oil sludge buildup [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsOctober 1, 2009
October First
Happy Birthday, Dad. We miss you every day, but today we miss you a little bit more.
Read More in Dad, Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 29, 2009
Addendum to my life
I look around the house and see pieces of my life that need fixing every day. The toilet runs downstairs. The wallpaper is only half-finished. The trim fell off the vent. It needs to be painted. There are no pictures on the walls. There is no room here complete. I want a deck. I want a garden. I want a mud room that is functional. I need my own bathroom. I need my own closet. I need an addendum to my current life. Can we do that? Can we put an addition onto our lives while we are still living [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsSeptember 28, 2009
The Unexpected
Oh, is it my turn to post? Sorry, I guess I’ve been distracted by a few other things. You know, the usual daily routines of raising children. Feeding, clothing, transporting. Also, children’s birthdays (two this week); school fundraisers; work deadlines; book group (at least I finished the book this time. But, um, isn’t it my pick? Damn.); preparing for a crew race this weekend; paying bills creatively; planning a birthday party; and the list goes on. But it is the transporting that got a little more difficult this week. Sunday evening, on the way back from a family visit, my [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 24, 2009
I am tired of talking
I am always talking. Words are always coming out of my mouth. I would say that about 5% of the time I am actually saying the things I want to be saying. The other 95% of the time I am either saying the things that need to be said or saying things that will fill the air. I say things at work to fill the air. To bring laughter. Shock and laughter. It feels good to hear this laughter when everything else about my job is really just NOT funny. I say things to friends to fill the air. To [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsSeptember 22, 2009
Fighting the inFLUence
OK. So it’s flu season. Yeah yeah yeah. The kids have had their shots. We’ll wash our hands. We’ll sneeze in our sleeves. We’ll get the H1N1 shot when it comes out, too. Honestly, I’m not that freaked out. We’ll take precautions. We’ll get the flu or we won’t. We’ll deal. But, here’s what I could really use: A vaccine that fights bad behavior. More specifically, a shot that vaccinates a younger sibling from the bad habits of the older sibling. My oldest always has been the most difficult child. He is sensitive. He is creative. He is impatient. He [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, siblings, three kidsSeptember 21, 2009
I could be a better mother- Part 1 (outline?)
I’m exhausted. I’m just exhausted. Every minute or two I remember something else that needs to be accomplished. Right now? The tooth fairy. “Don’t go to bed before the tooth fairy lands!” looms in the back of my head. I will almost forget. I will turn off the tv. I will put my head down. I will close my eyes. I will sigh big and deep and well-deserved, and then I’ll say FUCK! It’s what I do. And thank goodness for that. Cause if I didn’t remember I KNOW I’d be doing something wrong. And that’s the question. How do [...]
Read More in motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kids, workSeptember 19, 2009
Yes. It really takes that long to …
Having three kids, I could finish that sentence any number of ways. But, today, tonight, … put the kids to bed. Twice in the last week I have found myself explaining why it is I start the bedtime ritual so early. Two friends with one child each (Please notice I did not say “only” one child or “just” one child. This is not a judgment post. Just one of what it’s like to be outnumbered by one’s children.) have caught me in the early stages of bedtime recently. And, yes, it really is 6:30, and I really am ferrying the [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 19, 2009
A long post about changes in motherhood
I have spent most of the last six years in the company of babies, toddlers, preschoolers and, just recently, a kindergartner and his friends. Also, many moms of these children. These moms are around my age–within five years in most cases. Some work full time, most work part time, like me. Some have one child, some have two, a few have three. All are women who put their children first, as I do. Some are single, some are married. Some spend time exercising or writing or going to knitting clubs or book groups. Some are even able to do the [...]
Read More in exercise, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, mind/body, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 16, 2009
Looking beyond the look(s)
Tolerance. I hate that word. I hate it because is it really so so difficult to just skip ahead to acceptance? I hate it because I identified with the gay community for a while, and still do sometimes, strangely enough, and the word tolerance meant difference to me. Not good difference. Difference that somebody might be willing to put up with in the right circumstances. But difference. And. Not as good. But, tolerance. It’s back. And I am learning the mom side of it now. And in this frenzied life of mine I’m realizing that I have become more … [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 14, 2009
Frazzlement
I’m living in Jen’s last post. Living IT. Living IN it. It is me. My life comes down to those first five sentences. And the fact that I can’t do everything. Actually, I can hardly do anything anymore. Because I try to do everything, I can hardly do anything. I fuck up all the time. No, really. All.the.time. I really do. Really. I pack the whole family in the car, husband included (and he’s often hard to sell on “family outings”) and head to the pool (not a quick and easy place to pack for, mind you). I hype up [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsSeptember 10, 2009
I used to be smarter and less frizzy
Motherhood has fried my brain. And, let’s face it, most of the rest of me. I am frazzled, both in appearance and in mindset. I can no longer complete one task, simple or otherwise, without thinking of a half dozen other things I have to do while in the process. Everyone’s needs come before my own. My kids have bathed, are wearing clean clothes and sleeping in clean sheets. My hair is dirty, my blouse is splotched with mysterious red dots, my bed is unmade (and not exactly line-dry fresh). I wonder sometimes, lately frequently, what I did with my [...]
Read More in chores, Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 9, 2009
I curse
What the fuck? This post has been stuck in EDIT mode for four fucking days? I curse. A lot. In anger. For emphasis. Cause it’s easy. I always have. I chalk it up to my father’s influence. He swore from the minute he opened his eyes each morning. Into the shower. While looking for a clean shirt. While ironing a semi-clean shirt. While spilling coffee down a now-quite-dirty shirt. Fuck. Shit. Damn. Fuck (again). So I was a teenager. Once. A fun-loving, “mood-enhancing,” love-making teenager. Swearing. Cursing. Acting my age. But now I’m 30. Past 30. And I have three [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsSeptember 5, 2009
Pests
September 3, 2009
Lists
Note: Sarah is not the only one of us who makes lists. 1. I have spent the last week making lists 2. This doesn’t make last week any different from any other week, except for 3. The sheer number of lists 4. There are the lists pertaining to cupcakes a. raw ingredients b. ingredients tally for making 125 vanilla cupcakes c. ingredients tally for making 125 chocolate cupcakes d. total ingredients tally e. specific stores I must go to in order to acquire which ingredients f. other necessary items to purchase g. timing of cupcake preparation h. materials needed to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 2, 2009
Little Stuff
this is: about breakfast our morning routine and waking up: i hate waking up my bed is a cloud a dreamy cloud i don’t visit enough i want to stay where i am on my cloud all alone i want silence i’d like all the chirping of sweet morning children to be in the background another layer not quite beside me yet but it isn’t that way and i peel back the covers and i trod down the stairs and i drip in the coffee i pour cereal and cut fruit and change diapers and check my attitude i melt [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, mind/body, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kidsSeptember 1, 2009
The noises coming from upstairs
I am trying to write something useful. Again. I have started three different posts. All take too much brain power to bring to a satisfactory (to me) completion. I don’t have a migraine. I ate today. I exercised today. I didn’t yell at my kids at bedtime. I slept relatively well last night. All of this together brings me as close to being in top form as I get these days. But I can’t make myself see the intended posts through. My problem is perfection. I have an idea in my mind. An idea that encompasses all that I want [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingAugust 30, 2009
All this crying in my house.
Is there a point in this parenting gig where a whole day goes by without anyone in the family crying? Makes me want to listen to kd lang’s version of the Roy Orbison song and wail along with her. But somebody would probably just start crying because s/he doesn’t like the song, or didn’t get to choose the song, or doesn’t know the words to the song, or can’t hear the song “youd enough.” For instance.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsAugust 28, 2009
The first child
The first child is always first. Always. And it makes me kind of crazy. Because the second child is now the middle child. And the third child has to just cope with everything that the first child needs. And there is always something he needs. Help tying his shoes. Another snack. More water in his Thermos. To be read to. A hug. Attention. He always needs my attention. And his first younger sister the now middle child has always been second. Because she is patient and understanding and kind. Because she can entertain herself comfortably happily. She is not nervous [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsAugust 26, 2009
Friends, lovers. Oh Mother.
There are a million reasons why I don’t feel like I can do a good job posting tonight. First and foremost is Sarah’s post from last night. Read it. Or go back and read it again. I think it’s the beginning of something. A discussion maybe. Or a thread. Because I used to date women, too. And even though my experiences were very different, I completely understand what she’s saying. I completely agree that relationships with women after motherhood are dramatically changed. Forever changed. And I know that I will have more to say about this. But for now, I [...]
Read More in three kidsAugust 24, 2009
Three Kids. One Mommy.
Three kids: Full of energy. One Mommy: Dragging. Three kids: Resist sleep. One Mommy: Craving sleep. Three kids: Loud. One Mommy: Wishing for earplugs most of the time. Three kids: MESSY. One Mommy: Constantly lowering the clean standards. Three kids: Whiny. One Mommy: Impatient. Three kids: Funny as all hell. One Mommy: Laughing a lot. Three kids: Creative. One Mommy: Impressed. Three kids: Allies. One Mommy: In BIG trouble. Three kids: Loving. One Mommy: Lucky. Three kids: Asleep. One Mommy: Eating leftover Chinese food.
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, three kidsAugust 21, 2009
Birthdays.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I am exactly 30 years older than my oldest nephew. I remember the day Sarah called to tell me she was expecting. She said she had a very early birthday present for me. It was a difficult phone call. She and I were not close then. We were geographically distant, emotionally distant. We were living very different lives, and we rarely spoke on the phone. I know now how difficult that call was for her to make. And I know that I didn’t respond well. I’m sure I didn’t congratulate her. Frankly, I was shocked. And [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, oldest child, sisters, three kidsAugust 20, 2009
I hate birthday parties
So I’ll say it. I hate planning birthday parties. I get stressed, anxious, and generally grumpy surrounding the whole birthday party thing. Do we have one? When do we have one? What day, what time, and where? Of course WHERE is of huge importance to the kid, and when is a matter of convenience for the parents – the me-parent and the parents of the OTHER kids, as well. And then there’s the whole coordinating it with the ACTUAL birthday thing. Details: Of which you probably don’t care so I’ll make it brief: Sunday the 23rd Jamis turns 7. It’s [...]
Read More in birthday, oldest child, Sarah Writes, three kidsAugust 9, 2009
Mysteries unearthed
Friday I took my kids to the park. It was 3 in the afternoon. The baby had woken from her nap. Quiet time was over. We were at loose ends. So I strapped the girls into the bike trailer, B hopped on his scooter, and off we went. The park nearest us is a gem. Before J and I had kids we went occasionally, but it’s really a much better destination for families. Playgrounds, lots of space to run around, animals, swings. And trees. And a river. And rocks. So after a little time on the swings and playing with [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, UncategorizedAugust 2, 2009
Growing Pains
Last night B woke up, twice, with leg cramps. This happens occasionally, and yesterday he was riding his scooter and showing me tricks for much of the afternoon. He wore out his little leg muscles and woke up in pain. As I rubbed his calf and listened to him whimper and hold his breath, I remembered waking with cramps when I was a kid. Lying awake in my bed feeling they would never go away. And then, just as quickly as they had come on, the cramps would disappear, the muscles would relax. I feel the same about the house [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, UncategorizedAugust 1, 2009
it’s the minutae that gets in the way of the big picture
S to top it all off… S he took my car to get the emissions test again J i could give you 5 more examples off the top of my head. S to a different place J but i will spare you J did it pass? S and i didn’t have the paperwork in the car S so he called me J oh NO S and it’s at home S and he fucking hung up on me J shiite J no WAY J that is rude S so i called him back and said forget it S i’ll deal with [...]
Read More in three kidsAugust 1, 2009
A Typical and Tender IM Session
J blog? S so having the blog has changed the way i look at my life and my kids. i need to blog about how the blog has changed things. but last night i stood outside and watched my beautiful children playing. it was way past their bedtime and the sun was going down and there was the tiniest drizzle outside and dan was working with his saw and hammering shit and there was music playing from the garage and i just stood there smiling and smilng and smiling and feeling so damn lucky. S two little boys were wearing [...]
Read More in three kidsJuly 27, 2009
Parenting three: Whose needs come first?
I spend my days evaluating the needs of my three children and determining whose needs should come first. What’s the most urgent situation? Tending to the baby’s dirty diaper? Fetching a snack for my eternally hungry 5-year-old? Helping my 3-year-old in the bathroom? What do I need to do to keep the balance around here, to make sure that each child gets what s/he needs and that we all are happier for it? A few recent situations have included: 1. (S comes first.) Yesterday, I decided that it would be nice to take a walk with the kids after lunch. [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, three kids, UncategorizedJuly 18, 2009
Vacation day at last
Well, today is the day we all meet up in Vermont. Yippeeeee! I only have about a zillion things to do before we get there. Wait. No. That’s not true. I did a gazillion things yesterday. So today I only have a bazillion things to do. But I don’t even care. I am trying to keep it zen. I just said to the kids, “As far as I am concerned our vacation starts now.” And then I let them have as much powdered sugar as they wanted on their waffles. (It was quite difficult to see the waffles when they [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, three kids (six kids), UncategorizedJuly 13, 2009
Don’t Call Them Swimming Lessons
I signed B and S up for swimming lessons this week. Shh. Don’t tell them. Just say, “We’re going to a pool today. And there might be other kids there. And an instructor. His name is Kim. [giggle giggle] And he might play with you in the water.” Hey, it worked! There are three kids in the swimming class. Two of them are my kids. I haven’t been yet, because I was at work today. But I haven’t seen my family all happy at the same time and for such a prolonged amount of time in a LONG TIME. They [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, UncategorizedJuly 11, 2009
Some thoughts of Saturday
The fevers are gone (the bickering is back). (And, No, Mom, it wasn’t swine flu.) Like many summer days, we don’t have much planned today. Last Saturday Sarah—just a week into her new full-time work schedule—called to ask if we could get together. I should have dropped everything, gathered up the kids, and met her halfway, 30 minutes down the road. A playground for the kids. A bench for us. Lots of juice boxes and Goldfish crackers. But I didn’t. I hadn’t washed my face or brushed my teeth yet. I was really hoping for a shower. The kids weren’t [...]
Read More in chores, housework, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, three kids, unpaid work, workJuly 4, 2009
Becoming Cool
I live in an artsy New England town. Lots of musicians. Artists of all kinds. Creative people creating. These are major reasons why I love living here. But also, often I feel very uncool. For my day job? Well, part of it entails writing obituaries. Yep. Also, I don’t play a musical instrument. Nor can I draw a realistic interpretation of anything. Or make a convincing attempt at abstract representation, for that matter. Oh sure, I write. But it seems like everyone else does too. And the rest of them? Well, they actually have their books published. When I take [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, siblings, three kids, UncategorizedJuly 1, 2009
A few things to get off of my chest
I have a post brewing. But it’s not entirely through the filter yet. So this will have to do for now: 1. A while back I wrote about how you don’t have to look far to find someone who is worse off. (Here.) Here’s the thing, though. Sometimes you just feel like shit. And your bad is bad enough. Even though someone else is going through more. Someone else is sicker. Or poorer. Or more stressed out. But sometimes, your own problems are enough to feel bad about. I’m just saying. ********** 2. Sweeping the kitchen floor makes me feel [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, siblings, three kidsJune 23, 2009
Mothering Three: Do you see yourself out there anywhere?
Magazines. I love them. I used to subscribe to many, but when the necessary budgeting axe hit our home, the periodicals were the first to go. I watched as they dwindled. And now they are gone. And I don’t miss them so much. Who has the time? But a few days ago I had a few moments to browse the magazines in the pediatrician’s office and then at the library. I came home with Vegetarian Times, The New Yorker, Natural Living, Mothering and Parents. I also have a People that my dear friend Liz, who appreciates my need for the [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, sleep, three kidsJune 23, 2009
Just another day
Every day is a new day, and yet the same in some way. Some often truly annoying way. Max wakes up at 6:00 or 6:30 or, these days, 5:30. He comes to our room, his arms full with his fuzzy blue blanket and his doggie. He crawls in our bed. He says “Wake UP!” a whole bunch of times. One of us struggles to put Noggin on – something, anything to keep the beast tame just a little bit longer. We went to bed too late. Sometimes by choice, sometimes not. Me: by choice. Dan: fifty/fifty. The little shit can’t [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsJune 9, 2009
Summer, here we come
I’m happy for the sun-soaked, sunscreen-soaked days that lay ahead. I welcome them. And I’ll even deal with whiney toddlers who yell at me to “Stop!” Because summer breathes on me calm and slow and patient thoughts. And I can always use more of those. So summer, here we come. The boys are a year older, and life is even louder, and there’s sure to be more of this…
Read More in boys, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 30, 2009
Photo Gallery: Laundry Treasures
I thought I would share with you all a few of the items I recently have found while doing laundry. All items were recovered from the clothing of my two oldest children, ages 3 and 5. Introducing, in no particular order, pocket contents: 1. These are from a preschool “project” that B didn’t complete in the classroom but insisted he needed to finish said project at home. Early sign of kleptomania? 2. Goodies from an Easter party we attended. But what happened to the two matching barrettes? If I tell S that I found these, tears will be shed for [...]
Read More in home, housework, Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, three kids, UncategorizedMay 23, 2009
The Three Popsicle Day
We don’t go on too many weekend family outings, because on the days that I am home, J works (and vice versa). So this morning, when I was standing in the center of our little town at 9:56 a.m. and it was clear that the Memorial Day parade was not today (and, probably, in fact would be on Memorial Day) I couldn’t just stomp my feet, scream in frustration and run to the nearest bookstore to deal. Nope. It was just me. And three kids. (One of whom I HAD WOKEN FROM HER MORNING NAP TO GET HERE.) In perfect [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, three kidsMay 21, 2009
Another post about how tired I am
Sleep deprivation. Is seriously. Seriously. Difficult. And I’m supposed to FUNCTION as a reasonable human being. A parent. A MOTHER. But my kids. Won’t. Let. Me. Sleep. My mom says this won’t last forever. In fact, it will only be a FEW. MORE. YEARS. But, oh, how am I ever going to make it? The past few nights, Em, who has been teething and teething and has nothing to show for it, has not slept. That is, not unless she is on top of me. On top of my chest. She is 20 pounds. And very squirmy. With very sharp [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsMay 17, 2009
Sometimes the best friends sneak up on you
This is a bit of a complimentary post to two previous posts about making friends with other moms. Back track if you’d like, or just start here. And then there are those wonderful women I have become friends with since I’ve had kids. A few I have met because our kids were in the same preschool class. And the kids became buddies. And so we moms hung out after school while they played. And we clicked. And not only that, we actually liked each other. And each other’s kids. And, could it be?, each other’s spouses! Or the friend I [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMay 16, 2009
My take on making new friends with other moms
Sarah, I totally hear you. It is HARD to make friends with other moms. And the park scene can be tough. And the women you were friends with before you had kids? Yeah, that’s tough, too. Because, let’s face it, motherhood is, arguably, the most life-changing transformation for a woman. And if your pre-kid friends haven’t had kids yet or if one of you has, oh, say one kid and the other of you has, oh, say THREE, you probably haven’t kept up with those girlfriends. Life has just changed too much to be chatting about office gossip or current [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 15, 2009
A hug is where the heart is
I can’t stop thinking about this face. And how it’s lips can charm me and scorch me all in a matter of minutes. _______________________________________ Scenario: Jamis asks for a hug.I’m bein’ a lil’ bit goofy and flop on top of him. Arrrrrrg! “There’s your huggy hug.” “No, a real hug.” So I sit up properly on the couch and he folds into my arms. Actually, I think we’re at the point where I fold into him, because the hugs are less frequent and he tends to offer them not only when he needs one, but when he knows I need [...]
Read More in boys, fatherhood, motherhood, oldest child, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 14, 2009
Making new friends with other moms
Oh it is So not the first time this has subject has been pondered. And it So won’t be the last: The well-documented problem of moms seeking out other moms for friendship. And why is it always moms seeking out other moms? Why aren’t moms seeking out dads, or single gals, or newlyweds too? Um, do I have to go there? I think we are all aware of that crazy brain thing that happens after you’ve given birth, and often times long before: There’s a life inside of me. Wait, it’s going to come out. Thank Gooooodness, it’s out. Damn, [...]
Read More in Favorites, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 12, 2009
And why three is enough, for this body
Just as having a third child was perfect for our family, having a fourth would be selfish. On my part. I would parent more children, welcome them into our family if circumstances led to that, but I will not have another baby. Not through this body. Pregnancy and I are not the best of friends. One year ago I was four months pregnant and just coming off of months of hyperemesis gravidarum (not unlike my previous two pregnancies). In a word: miserable. I spent every day curled up in bed and curled up on the bathroom floor. HG, for me, [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsDear Jen, I put this in an email. A reply to your 5:35 message. I typed it all out and almost hit send, but thought it better to post it here, where we ARE free, where we CAN be. Where I feel our bond most strong, most clear, and most alive.I love you!Sarah omg i wishi couldsteal you awayand the kidsi’d take them tooand we could all go to a retreatin the woodswith a high energy sitter who happens to drive a tractorand keeps backhoes and bulldozers handy for serious excavationand the kids could dig a tunnelor 200and create a [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, Favorites, home, Jen Writes, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids, unpaid work, writingMay 10, 2009
Tired, No More – A post by our Mom
Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! In honor of the day we asked our mom to write for us. You can call her Gail, or GG, or Geege. She’s famous in our homes and in our hearts. This weekend she is celebrating Mother’s Day with her amazing mom and two charismatic sisters on Cape Cod and, undoubtedly, laughing hard enough and loud enough to keep many of the neighbors awake. I hope you are having a good time, Mom! We love you. We are so happy for your contribution. And Happy Mother’s Day! Last week I met a woman whose daughter I [...]
Read More in Favorites, GG, GG Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 9, 2009
Home is Where We Muddle Through
We’ve lived in this house for almost four years; moved in two months before our second was born. In fact, the past two times I’ve moved I’ve been seven months pregnant. When I was pregnant with our third, several of our friends asked us if we’d be moving. Uh, no way, not again! But the question was a valid one. This is a small house. The messes are large. The dirt is abundant. Some days I feel like the clutter is endangering our very well-being. But no, we would not be moving. When we moved in it was summer. The [...]
Read More in home, housework, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid workI’ve been so indecisive about my emotions this week. The weather’s been rainy, and so have I. I feel a sour melting of my heart with every wish for bedtime, for alone time, for peace and quiet. I love my kids, I do. But it takes a special lens to find joy in the every day, the every need, the feeding, cleaning, teaching that is my every moment when I am at home. There is solace in work, even if I often loathe the tasks that are stacked before me, or the sheer volume of space it takes in my [...]
Read More in motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kids, unpaid workWith every milestone I find myself looking back, usually wondering HOW did we ever get HERE. B is FIVE already? Holy moly, as he would say. What happened? Wasn’t he just born? Weren’t we just nuzzled together on the couch, settled in for one of his marathon nursing sessions? Nope. It’s been five years. And two more kids. And I’m nursing again, but there’s not a whole lot of nuzzling this time. More like refereeing from the sidelines, breaking up fights between B and S while trying to get a meal in for E. (As I watch the basketball playoffs [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kids, writingTwo nights ago Jamis suggested that I read Ethan a book before bed. Ethan is one. I can recall only 5 nights that my husband or I have read to him at bedtime. Flashback to 2002. Jamis is four months old and Dan and I have fallen into a routine of dinner, bath, books, bottle, bed. We alternate nights. We glide in the rocker, happy baby tucked into our laps. We read 1o books, sing 3 songs and crush him with kisses. He smiles. He drifts off to sleep. We walk through a clean and orderly house. Fall on the [...]
Read More in boys, Favorites, motherhood, Sarah Writes, sex, siblings, three kids, youngest childMay 3, 2009
"So You Had a Third."
This statement came to me at B’s b’day party, and I can’t stop thinking about it. A mom of two, whom I don’t know well, just walked right up and said it. What all those other folks seem to be thinking, although with more of a question mark/exclamation mark sound. “Yes,” I said. “We did.” Turns out she wants more children. I’ve only had one other person ask me straight out what it’s like to have three. The rest of the time I feel like I’m the anomaly in the town. Even though I can give you plenty of examples [...]
Read More in body image, exercise, Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, sex, sleep, three kidsI think I might get a little mushy this morning. I’m not privy to mush and goo and all things cutesy and sweet; however, many of my posts thus far have hinted that I am not happy with my life, with my role as the mother of three, as the keeper of chaos. That is not the case at all and I need to remind myself of that on days like these when I wake up and everything seems just right. The baby slept through the night. The middle (problem) child is happy and positive. The oldest child is entertained, [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsMay 1, 2009
Pumping In Style
That’s me. In the storage room. With my Lansinoh and my bra unhooked and hanging down to where my abs used to be. Twenty minutes holding cones up to my breasts and staring at my soggy middle. Yup, Em stayed at home today. I have never been a good pumper. Those little bottles and bags never even come close to filling up. My babies, on the other hand, obviously have reaped the benefits of plenty of breast milk calories. We used to call our oldest “rubber band man” because of the rolls of fat around his wrists (and everywhere else). [...]
Read More in fatherhood, Jen Writes, paid work, siblings, three kids, youngest childApril 30, 2009
In response to Dr. Sears, Mommy Burnout, and the fight I had with my husband this morning
I am so terrifically mad at my husband right now that I want to spit. I shouldn’t even be writing about this here. It’s not a place to give people the wrong impression that I live with a terrible person or something. That’s not the case, so please take it as only a moment in time, a moment in my mind that I absolutely must purge before it throws me down under where I can’t think of anything else, where I breathe anger, eat anger and cry anger. And please be kind enough to deal with the run-on sentences, as [...]
Read More in boys, Favorites, health, motherhood, paid work, relationship, Sarah Writes, sex, three kids, unpaid work, workApril 27, 2009
Fair weather parenting
The sun has been shining. Oh, glorious warm days. And with the rising temperatures have gone the windows. Storms up. Screens down. All of a sudden, the goings on inside my house are public. We live in a neighborhood that is close to ideal. Stop for a minute. Picture “neighborhood.” Yup. That’s us. Cute little town. Sidewalks. Diner and hardware store within walking distance. Fenced-in yards that kids cut through to get home from school. On a warm spring night like this one I can hear not only the familiar dogs but people grilling in the apartments across the street, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sleep, three kidsApril 26, 2009
Hey, you need your cup. Oh yeah, my cups!
So today was all about sunscreen and baseball. In the morning, an Opening Day parade with a sweet High School gal singin’ the national anthem in a quavery, somewhat hollow voice. A melee of parents with strollers and high hopes. Being a Sunday, there were folks in Church get-up following little girls with chin length hair in flowery dresses and white buckled shoes. There were moms who had clearly taken the opportunity to coordinate their summer attire for the first time – tank tops and tiny tees dug out of attics and closets all over Connecticut. Some were just looking [...]
Read More in boys, exercise, oldest child, three kids, unpaid workApril 25, 2009
What I Learned Today
Swiss meringue buttercream frosting and 90-degree weather do not jibe. Kids don’t give a sh*t about the drippy frosting. Or the fact that it was too windy to light the candles. They just want the hay-bale cupcakes. You can carve a cake with the non-spoon end of a plastic spoon! Pinatas are more sturdy than they look. You can get sunburned in April. When the cooler is empty of drinks, the ice cubes offer great entertainment (and cooling) value. No matter what, birthday parties are stressful. On the mom, but also on the kid. But they are also just about [...]
Read More in birthday, Favorites, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsApril 18, 2009
Oh Brother, How Art Thou? and other philosophical ramblings
It seems time to mention that we have a brother. Oh, and, yeah, he has three kids, too. What is this? you’re asking yourself. Three siblings each with three children now. Weird. Is it, though? Seems like nice symmetry to me. And we really didn’t plan on it. No sirree. Our brother is the middle child. I suspect he felt and/or tried to be invisible for much of his childhood. Sarah and I, well, we tended to have the attention. Me being the perfect, overachieving oldest, and Sarah being the rule-breaking, boundary-ignoring, creative genius youngest. There was our brother, smack [...]
Read More in exercise, health, Jen Writes, middle child, oldest child, three kids, youngest childI take so many risks. I’m not sure if the risks I take now as a parent of three are greater or more severe than the risks I took as a parent of one (or two) OR if it just appears that way because the things I thought were risky back then are part of my very very every day now. Some things just are not safe, like leaving a kid alone with the knife set, the hair clippers, the nail clippers, or the play-doh. Other things are not so simple. Seemingly mundane decisions can be the riskiest of all. [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 14, 2009
Thanking my lucky springtime stars
My sweetie always says, “You don’t have to look far to find someone who is worse off than yourself.” Lately, this statement has been proven correct almost daily. It’s spring. Finally. The season of birth. Renewal. My brain even feels it. I am more relaxed. The messy house no longer seems like it’s doomed to forever be covered in hats, mittens, coats, boots. The kids can go outside to dig in the dirt, play with their trucks, ride their bikes. There are sidewalk chalk “drawings” on the house siding. Phew. It’s been a long time coming, this kid-friendly season. And [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid work, youngest childApril 13, 2009
My last baby
My youngest is six months old. She is my calmest baby. And she will be my last. Saying this brings with it much relief and a strange sadness. I so desperately wanted a third child. Within minutes of the birth of my second I knew I didn’t want to be finished just yet. And I wondered and worried for more than two years until J and I decided we were meant to have another. Deciding to have a child is such a powerful and yet naive action. Now I know that I cannot go through another pregnancy. The longing for [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, three kids, youngest childApril 12, 2009
How many nights can I go without real sleep?
J is upstairs putting the big kids to bed. Em is lying on the couch beside me, playing. I am as tired as I ever have been. Too tired to be writing this post with any hope of making a point. The past four or five nights (I have lost track) have been very long and not very full of sleep. As a result, I have slowed down. Internally. It is as if I can feel my heart beating slower. As if my blood is thicker. And my brain. My brain is just barely functioning at all. It is, in [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, motherhood, sleep, three kidsApril 12, 2009
Why is today ANY different?
I’ve been awake for 12 minutes and discovered that I entirely missed the Easter morning Egg Hunt and Jelly Bean search. The boys have apparently searched and searched again and had their fun. And now it’s done. Jamis is downloading skeeball on to my iPhone, oh joy. My mother and her partner, D, are reading the paper. Dan is on his computer and when I talk to him he doesn’t even look away to face me – seems the sun is shining right in his eyes when he does, so why bother? Max is watching Tom & Jerry, but at [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, sleep, three kids, unpaid workApril 11, 2009
My Complete Inability to Make a Commitment to My Job: How Busy Does This Little Bee Want to Be???
I took a day off work two days ago to BE. Just to be. With my sister. To talk and eat and laugh and BE. It was fantastic, even though my mind was muddy and felt quite separate from my body. It is absolutely amazing in every way that the body can produce so much mucus. I’ve decided that I would much rather wipe my kids’ noses and coax them to blow OUT than to be inconvenienced by my own cold. That’s just awful, isn’t it? Am I wishing sickness upon my kids? Well, no, of course not. It’s just [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kids, workApril 10, 2009
Letter to my sister
Dear Sarah, I feel I already have failed you. Wasn’t I the one who volunteered to write the next post? Yesterday. After we agreed to a daily presence? Allow me to explain. Well, I arrived home to a sick kid and the fallout of a SICK KID. And it was dinner time. Need I say more? The night promised to be a long one. And then, today. It is not yet 10:00 a.m. Here is what I have done—in no particular order. (That would be too much to ask of my fatigued brain.) Three loads of laundry (one hanging on [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workApril 2, 2009
Body Image
So Dan and I were watching something on tv about this incredibly IN-SHAPE woman who is training for yet another crazy event – the Ironman, I believe – and coincidentally I have a friend training for the same thing. Go friend! It was a motivating story about one woman’s accomplishments, dreams, ambitions and drive. Most of all her drive, I guess. What drive! To put not only your body through the rigors of exercise, the tiresome schedule of double and triple workouts in a day, but even more so your mind. The resolve – that your brain must (MUST) tell [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 2, 2009
Inner Dialogue GET OUT
I don’t really talk to myself that often but I think I should start. Like I just walked in the house and said SHOWER. Yes, Sarah. Take a fucking shower. Your sinuses are blocked and your fingers are tingling cuz you’re freezing and a shower will do you good. Forgo those fucking dishes in the sink, the grocery list, and the laundry. I turned the corner to head upstairs and then I said EAT SOMETHING. (there’s a muffin in the toaster right now) So it’s like this – instead of talking out loud to make a list or directing your [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 2, 2009
From Two to Three
Sinus backup. I’ve got a cluster in my sinus – but it’s worked its way into my brain and I feel completely inept right now. I’m supposed to be working and then cleaning up the house and then heading to the grocery store. Instead I am an absolute lump. Maybe I should just let my body fold into sleep and give up until the afternoon – when I will be forced back into motherhood and household duties. But I keep thinking about three kids. I dropped the little ones off at the sitter’s this morning and reveled in the candor [...]
Read More in Favorites, health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kids, workMarch 30, 2009
Late Night Snacking
I’m not sure if a bowl of leftover pinwheels dripping with smart balance, sprinkled with parmesan, is what you’d call a “late night snack” but that’s what I just wolfed down as I casually read through some blogs. That and the piece of hearty bread slathered with same smart balance. Shit, where’s the booze to go with it? Oh yeah, red wine season is out. Margaritas coming back in style again soon, I hope. So what’s with the eating, I say? I ask myself. I say, self, what’s with the damn eating. What void are you trying to fill. What [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 26, 2009
Profundity
I have come to the realization that I don’t have anything really profound to say. Life, in itself, is profound; my thoughts about living it are more dirt and grit, mundane, absolute in their necessity. My achievement today is making dinner out of nothing much. I haven’t been to the grocery store for anything more than the bare necessities in nearly a month. A month. I can’t even get to the grocery store. I can’t remember to brush my teeth on a Sunday Morning, or change the laundry, or pick up a friend’s kid at school. There’s so much I [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, sleep, three kidsMarch 26, 2009
Connections
I’ve been making all of our family’s bread now for several months. I try new recipes as I continue to abide by the old favorites. And recently I’ve become hooked on the “no knead” method. Which basically means that you let time do the work of kneading. Which means that for a day or so you have a mushy lump of wet dough hanging out in a bowl on your kitchen counter. It’s covered in plastic wrap, but still, every time I see it I think, “That looks like my post-pregnancy stomach.” ICK. Unfortunately, I cannot adopt the wait-it-out method [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 26, 2009
Spring
Oh my gosh my goodness my glory it’s spring. Thank u spring. Thank u sunshine. I’ve been huddled in a cloud of looming desperation for weeks. Often taking the time to research in-network shrinks but never making the call – I knew that I’d begin to feel this rebirth soon. And now it’s all coming back to me. A feeling of youth. Energy. Equilibrium. The first days of cold brought the toasty hibernation of steaming fires and bold-flavored wine. Then gave way to that bitter cold. I felt sunken – drowned under for so many weeks. But this is the [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kids, unpaid workMarch 22, 2009
In sickness and in …
With five in the family, I am learning, someone always is sick (or injured). Since December members of my family have logged two ear infections; a jaw infection; a round of the stomach bug that included every single combination of typical symptoms that you can think of and took more than two weeks to make the full rounds of the family; endless colds; back strain due to work injury; and neck strain due to sleeping beside an infant (guess who on that one). Oh, and surgery (and it’s preceding symptoms and recovery time), the heart patient living amongst us and [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 19, 2009
A Spoonful of Sugar
Dan and I sat on the couch researching double bike trailers for a bit and then he drifted to the office to do some work. Ugh, work, even the word makes me feel like drooling and shutting down. But he’s not as tied to the need to completely veg after the kids are asleep as I am. So he plops down into the leather office chair, and I can hear the air being forced from the cushion and the familiar settling sound his body makes before the computer, the wheels rolling about to get into work position. Ugh. Work. And [...]
Read More in motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kidsMarch 19, 2009
Overcoming fear
Tonight I put on clean pajamas. And I know, that it’s a guarantee that I will be spit up on. Very soon. But these clean jammies sure feel good. Hey, my body’s even pretty clean, too. The thing is, there are days that I feel threatened by the laundry. There always are piles of dirty laundry. And often there are baskets full of folded laundry yet to be put away and clothes hanging to dry from the shower racks. And then there are the clothes on the bodies of my children, which are kept clean for approximately 2.5 seconds after [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workMarch 18, 2009
Jury Duty
So I had jury duty today. No comment.I’m home now and just got off the treadmill. Trying to reacclimate my body to lunges and crunches and the whomp whomp foot pattern of the treadmill is like another full-time job. I feel invigorated by my run and grateful for the new TV in the basement which allowed me to distract myself from heavy breathing and sticky lips and head straight into the overly dramatic lives of the girls on The L Word. I have nothing and everything to say, and all at once, or not at all. I think I need [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, paid work, Sarah Writes, three kids, unpaid workMarch 17, 2009
Wine with dinner makes me philosophical
At the end of two days at the office I am so glad to be home and to know that I don’t have to get up and out tomorrow. I can be with my family. At the end of a day with my kids I am so overcome with exasperation that I can’t believe I looked forward to such a day. I try to be grateful for every moment with my children. And of course I am, ultimately. But as the moments are happening, so often filled with whining, talking back, protests, refusals, I find myself wondering how, and why, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, sleep, three kidsMarch 14, 2009
Confusion
Dan left for the city. I’m home again with the three boys. Another day and night and day of meals and snacks and naps – and questions, needs and threats. It seems there are so many of these days, where I am fighting the battle of parenthood alone and just trying to keep it all together. Telling myself to breathe and running little inspirational sayings through my brain like a trumpeted march. “Live your Best Life, Live your BEST Life, Live your Best LIFE.” Yes, I’m a little embarassed to say that I’ve picked up Oprah’s favorite message and used [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kids, unpaid workMarch 13, 2009
Whose idea was this anyway?
What was I thinking? Three children? I wasn’t, not rationally anyway. But the thing is, it’s easy to blame the mayhem on number of children. How many times have I heard about how things change when the parents are outnumbered? The comment about zone defense. (Really, it’s not so much the defensive skills that need to be polished as the offensive; but more about that another time.) But wasn’t it just as out of control when there were only two? After all, the third is only five months old. Yes, it’s not so much the children as everything else. Oh [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids