It’s morning. I know by the light coming around the window shade in soft waves, somehow getting beyond my eyelids, squeezed shut. It’s morning. I know by the weight shifting beside me, Sweetie sitting up, reaching for his T-shirt discarded in the night. It’s morning. I know by the sounds of the birds. I wish I knew exactly what kind of birds. It’s morning. I know because my mind is more awake than I wish it would be. Full of all there is to do. It’s morning. And soon I must get up from my bed and start the day. [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingMay 15, 2012
Morning
May 11, 2012
Five for Five Round-Up
Five for Five was totally exhilarating. We read until our eyes were bleary, commented until our fingers went numb. Yes, it was almost that dramatic, and we really had a blast doing it. I’m feeling so energized. I’m feeling so alive! Hosting the writing series again forced me to come back to Momalom. On the very first day I realized that I have missed this space quite a lot. I don’t plan on leaving again any time soon. ______________ Jen and I would love to share with you some of the phenomenal posts we read from last week. I am [...]
Read More in three kids, writingApril 30, 2012
It’s OVER!
Wow. Thanks to all of you for joining in last week’s festivities. Sarah and I are almost ready to come up for air, and when we do we’ll share some of our favorite posts from the hundreds we were privileged to find linked here. Five for Five was such a wonderful week of reading and commenting and chatting online. I feel that my own community has grown, as I’ve met new bloggers and re-established broken connections with others. Life is busy, and sometimes it’s necessary to disengage from things like the Internet. But sometimes, as we saw last week, a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingApril 24, 2012
Words
Today I’m joining my dear friend Heather of the EO, for a little Just Write. It’s the freewrite, people; get your flow on. Words. They change our lives. In every way. Their sound. Their meaning. We introduce them every day to our children. Starting from the day they were born and ending…when? Perhaps never. We flood them with words, and expect them to pick up the pieces and talk to us like they know what they’re saying. Talk so we can understand them. Talk so they become a part of our world. I took summertime walks to the soccer fields [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, writingApril 20, 2012
Five for Five: More great news!
Hold on to your hats, people! Five for Five just got better. Because we’re joining forces with forces On Tuesday (topic: WORDS) Just Write (You can link to both blogs!) And Friday? (LISTENING) in Six Words! (Again, double the link-up opportunity! Fun!) ****** Here’s where today’s six words end. But seriously, we are so excited to announce that we’re linking up the linking up with Heather of the EO on her JUST WRITE series on Tuesday, April 24. Check it out! And next Friday (the 27th)? Yup. It’s Six Word Friday, thanks to Melissa. More fun. More buttons. More COMMUNITY! [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, special occasions, writingApril 19, 2012
Five for Five! Topics revealed. (Finally!)
I’m saving all of my creative spark for next week: FIVE FOR FIVE. Today, it’s just the facts, ma’am. The topics for Five for Five are: Monday: CHANGE Tuesday: WORDS Wednesday: PICTURES Thursday: AGE Friday: LISTENING Are you entirely confused, because you have no idea what Five for Five is? Oops. Sorry. The facts: Five for Five is a community event for bloggers (you!). It’s simple to participate. Read. Comment. Write. Link up. We will do the same. 1. Read. Come to Momalom every day and read our post. 2. Comment. On the Momalom post you’ve just read. 3. Write [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, special occasions, writingApril 13, 2012
Bowled over. Over the moon. Overwrought.
I read this book last weekend. I want to read it again. But I have to return it to the library around the corner. I love our little, neighborhood library. I visit and then bring home a piece of the bigger world that starts me thinking new thoughts and experiencing reverberations in my gut that propel me full speed ahead toward paper, pen: ideas written down. When is the last time reading changed your life, your thinking, you? (Read The Fault in Our Stars by John Green)
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingApril 10, 2012
Today. Tuesday.
I’m starting to have tiny panic attacks about Five for Five. We don’t have a button. We haven’t announced topics. When will I write? Read? Comment? Life is so incredibly busy. Last night I slept for 10 straight hours, and while I didn’t exactly wake up tired, I’d nap today if I had the time. I’m happy and yet I want more. My children are strong and bright and talented and funny. They have friends and activities that challenge them and keep them busy. They are curious and stubborn all at once. I want them to grow up healthy and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, parenthood, sleep, special occasions, three kids, work, writingApril 6, 2012
Friday morning equation
I sit in a quiet house while Sweetie and our 3-year-old daughter return bottles to the redemption center. A few dollars earned in deposits (+) time alone for mama to be still (=) immeasurable gains in our family’s happiness.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writing, youngest childApril 3, 2012
Just Write. (And go easy on yourself.)
If there’s never enough time to write how can I be writing? If there’s time enough to think about how there’s never enough time to write then am I wasting the little time that I have (to write) by thinking too much? If I’m writing but I’m not writing what I think I should be writing or what I think I want to be writing then is it worthwhile writing? (I’m not really looking for answers. You know that, right? I’m Just Writing!) ***** If I am a mother. And a lover. And a sister. A daughter. A friend. A [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingMarch 29, 2012
Five for Five: Comin’ up!
Does your blog need a jump start? Or maybe you’re ready to expand your blog circle but you don’t know where to begin. Well, folks, it’s time once again for the Momalom blog carnival called Five for Five (yes, it’s true, we shortened it from Five for Ten). Here’s the low-down: Who: Anyone with a blog What: Post every day on your blog and link your post up to our blog. We’ll visit your blog, read your post and comment. We encourage you to do the same to as many other linked blogs as possible. When: Week of April 23, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingMarch 18, 2012
(Be)longing [still]
For the past several days I’ve been trying to write a blog post. I kept getting stuck, so I took a few minutes to peruse the Momalom archives. Along the way I found that I’d already written what I’ve been trying to write. This post was originally published in December 2009. Was I lying when I wrote about not apologizing for my dreams? Because I haven’t been doing much to further those dreams lately. I have been composing only in my head. At night. Long after everyone else in the house is asleep. Or I have been jotting down notes [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, repost, three kids, writingMarch 9, 2012
I wish
For more mornings like this one— Time with sweetie; time with writing; time to breathe and, most important, time to look forward to family: time spent together at day’s end.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, parenthood, three kids, writingFebruary 28, 2012
Today
It’s been so long since I’ve written here that now that I’m here I don’t know what to write. With such a lapse comes a weighted feeling of needed perfection. If I write frequently it’s easier to give up the expectation of success. Just getting words out is enough. Tomorrow they can be better. But when there’s been days, weeks of no writing, then I start to feel like I need to say something relevant, profound, provocative. Or at the very least, interesting. But today I’m not feeling interesting. Today I’m just grateful that it’s Tuesday, and Heather is still [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingFebruary 13, 2012
Broken wrist and a broken blog?
Where have we been? Sarah broke her wrist a few weeks back, so it’s been tough for her to write. I have no such physical excuse. But I think maybe the blogging part of me broke a little bit recently. I’ve been pushing this place out of my mind, away from my consciousness. It doesn’t feel right. And yet, it feels a relief, too. It’s so impossible to do it all. It’s so impossible to do even what needs to be done. (I took the weekend off from laundry. Felt good at the time, but I know many of you [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingJanuary 24, 2012
Memories to strive for
Sarah and I were talking yesterday about how lucky we are. There are so many reasons, of course, but our conversation centered around family. Our own childhoods, with engaged, educated, interesting, fun parents who each respected their children and encouraged us all to excel, to take risks, to grow. OK, we didn’t use those words during our chat, but that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Having good parents means so very much. Now that we’re both in the thick of it, trying oh so hard to be good parents ourselves, we call upon our own childhood experiences more [...]
Read More in Dad, GG, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, siblings, sisters, special occasions, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 20, 2012
Processing
Too many words Too little time Instead of progress There is procrastination Waiting for opportunity Accepting the impossible Creativity and mothering: Stop and go
Read More in motherhood, three kids, writingJanuary 13, 2012
Needing to need
“You might want to say awesome.” Words straight out of my 3-year-old’s mouth. Apparently I didn’t praise her quickly enough–in this case for getting herself dressed. Or maybe it wasn’t the getting dressed itself, rather the choice of clothing: A fleece pullover of dinosaur print that, not so incidentally, has a matching fleece dinosaur-print hat, complete with stegasaurus-like spikes. She was getting dressed for school–an event that happens only twice per week–and I gathered that she’d been planning the ensemble for some time. Sweetie and I have laughed about this particular sentence spoken by our spirited and strong-willed daughter, who [...]
Read More in GG, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kids, writing, youngest childJanuary 10, 2012
Fulfilled yet still wanting
I knew what I wanted. A book on my shelf with my name on its spine. I set a goal. A weekly goal. A yearly goal. A goal related to a certain age. That age. The one that used to signify over the hill but that now might be a mark of the last years of youth. Except for a soft middle, crowed eyes, gray hair on me, this woman who is so, so tired. I don’t feel young. I feel like I am at a place where the opportunities slip away faster than they come to light. I feel [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kids, writingJanuary 6, 2012
creative lushness
Jen and I have often talked about creativity. How it is a blessing and a curse. Our daily lives consist of those daily-type things. You all know them well. They bring you up and they bring you down and then you find a way to just plateau and get them done. But creativity always seems to work itself into the day somehow. Not being creative, exactly, but having creative ideas. And no where to put them. Because there is no time for that in the daily grind, the plateau is easier than managing the ups and downs while fitting in [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, writingJanuary 6, 2012
A possible experiment
Less personal narrative. More fictional creations. What you just might find here (on Jen’s writing days) in 2012.
Read More in Jen Writes, writingDecember 29, 2011
Repost: Letter redux
I first published the letter below last January, at the outset of 2011. As I re-read it tonight I felt sad and empty with the realization that a few short months after I wrote those words, I lost that self for a time. I should elaborate. But what’s most important is that I’m back now. My better self found. Or I’m here again: In this place, thinking about the living that happens beyond the writing. So much has changed this past year. And yet what is important is so fully the same. The people with whom I share this life, [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, repost, three kids, writingDecember 20, 2011
On lists and writing and the Christmas season
I have ideas and words swimming through my brain. Add time and quiet and I might be able to coerce them into a satisfying piece of writing. I have a list of things to do. And a list of things to buy. And a list of things to make. And a list of when to address each list. There is no time. There is no quiet. Not at this time of year, especially. At the beginning of December I actively acknowledged to myself that I was not going to meet my writing goals for the year. And so? I let [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingDecember 13, 2011
A six-word post that didn’t post
True: We posted daily in November False: We accomplished November’s writing goals As it turns out? Posting ≠ writing Well, not necessarily, anyway. New goal = Write: More frequently. Post: When possible.
Read More in three kids, writingDecember 1, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Getting it Right?
Today I’m so pleased to welcome Sarah from Standing in the Shadows, who saved me some work by sending in the following bio of herself. But first I have to add that I long have read Sarah’s work in local and not-so-local publications and was so pleased to meet her IN PERSON about a month ago. It was a brief face-to-face, after we recognized each other across the room, almost movie style. I wish we’d had a chance to talk further, but we make up for it on Twitter (follow her at @standshadows). So, without further ado, my almost neighbor [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingNovember 22, 2011
little pauses
In early Autumn my son had a soccer tournament. Day 2 found me alone on the sidelines, no little boys in tow pulling my eyes away from the field and my chatter away from the relatively adult conversation that can happen between players’ parents. It was a glorious weekend. The kind of pervasive sunshine that sneaks up on you, burning the gap of skin between your hairline and your collar. The boys had played three out of their four scheduled games. During the break between games we moved our chairs into the shade, doling out Gatorade bottles, and passing high [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, writingNovember 21, 2011
Looking Up: A Memoir of Sisters, Survivors and Skokie
Another one of my blog friends has written a book. And it makes me so happy to see her success. Selfishly, I think, “There’s hope for me!” and “If she can do it, I can do it!” and “Wahoo for a community of writers!” Generally I share such blog-specific, writing-specific, selfish-seeming thoughts with only my sister. Recently I’ve begun to branch out and share these thoughts with other people who matter to me. People in my face-to-face life and people in my screen-to-screen life. And it pleases me to share with all of you now Linda Pressman’s new-ish book Looking [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingNovember 17, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: The Darkest Hour
Today it’s Janin’s turn. She became a mom of three in just four years. She says, “I am a housewife and have two boys, ages 7½ and 6½ and a daughter, age 3 ½. I’ve lived in Central Mexico for 7 years. Before that, we lived in the U.S.—in California. We live in a small town, and we like the slow paced life that Mexico offers.” She and her husband were high school sweethearts and are about to celebrate their 11th anniversary. Janin adds, “English is not my first language, but oddly enough, it is my language of choice in [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingNovember 15, 2011
once eyes
When Dan and I were dating and we lived in Florida and life was really, quite literally, one day at a time, I overheard him talking to his Mom one day. He was sitting on the stairs in our duplex. An apartment I shared with three dudes. The stairs were carpeted and covered in dog hair from the two pit bulls who resided with us. Dan said to his mom: “A girl with the most beautiful blue eyes.” And he winked at me. And he smiled. I smiled back in a blush-y kind of way and then turned away. I [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, writingNovember 10, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: On Having Three
Today we welcome Amy of The Never-True Tales. She’s a mom of three boys, a great writer and the first person responsible for helping me (Jen) to accept the Twitterverse into my world. (You can follow her on Twitter here). You can connect with Amy on Facebook, too. And here’s a link to her “travel gig.” If you’re thinking of taking a trip with your kids (no matter how many), check it out. On Having Three Having three means living with with odd numbers. There’s no counting by twos: it’s either not-enough or one-left-over. It means dividing sets of twin-pops [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingNovember 8, 2011
Crossing. To safety.
There’s a part at the end of my favorite book, Crossing to Safety, where one of the main characters is dying. She’s a matriarch. She’s a force. She’s the one to whom everyone looks—for direction, for ideas, for guidance. During her whole life, she has run the show. And now the show is her death. She’s trying to die with grace. She’s trying to make it easy on everyone else. She chooses her best female friend and her daughter and her sister to ferry her to the place she has chosen to die. Her husband is furious. He feels left [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kids, writingNovember 3, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: A Tale of Two Boingerheads
Let’s take a break from the tales of power outages and cancelled Halloween, shall we? It’s Thursday, and that means it’s time for wisdom from a fellow mom of three. Actually, Boingerhead is a working mother of FOUR who teaches her kids when to hold’em, when to fold’em and when to order a pizza. Find her words of dubious wisdom at Boingerhead Blog and Boingerhead Twitter. A Tale of Two Boingerheads People frequently ask me what it is like to have four kids. How do I do it? How do I keep myself together, keep the household going, have a [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingNovember 2, 2011
november begins with a blackout
For three days and three nights we huddled together in the living room by the fireplace, drove around town searching for food, watched Spongebob on the DVD player in the minivan and yelled at the kids to STOP JUMPING ON THE MATTRESSES! Then we left and went to GG’s house. There’s heat here. And power. Hot water. Electricity. I don’t have to give the kids a flashlight just so they can go pee. The power is still out in my town. It’s slated to come back by Sunday at 11:59 pm. School has been cancelled for the week, there is [...]
Read More in writingOctober 28, 2011
11:00 a.m. to 11:09 a.m.
Twenty minutes. Twenty things to do. Nineteen of them for other people. One for me. One thing: Write. Not time enough for grand ideas Not time enough for starting anew Not time to revise what’s there Not time to add to it. And so I sit. Nimble fingers, ideas whispering from a tired mind. I tap out a few words. Reminding myself that 20 (nine?) minutes isn’t enough to do 20 things Reminding myself that sitting, thinking, writing even for the briefest, still moment is a sound decision. For me.
Read More in chores, home, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingOctober 27, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: The Dynamics of Three
It’s Thursday again! Already! And this week, I’m pleased to introduce Cathy Reaves. Cathy lives in Orinda, Calif., with her husband and their three boys, ages 16, 13 and 7. She works full-time in technology but still manages to run the house and find time to have fun. Skiing with the family, golfing with her husband and playing pool competitively with her girlfriends—all the while tending to all the family activities—keeps her active and quite busy. Check out her blog www.alliwanttosay.com or connect with her on Twitter @mecreaves. ************************** The Dynamics of Three I grew up having only one sister. [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingOctober 25, 2011
Rainbow
I saw a rainbow on my drive in to work today. I’m a sappy, sentimental, metaphor-loving writer. You can imagine how happy I was—practically grinning—to find myself driving under a perfect arc of ROY-G-BIV. I do not condone taking photos while driving, but I couldn’t resist. This photo captures not even half of the architecturally breathtaking half-circle that created a tunnel over Route 9. Only once before have I seen such a rainbow. It was a few years ago, driving the reverse trip. Leaving the town in which I work, and in which Sweetie’s sister also lives. Our sweet family, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, special occasions, three kids, work, writingOctober 21, 2011
Silence:
People, I love Thursdays. I love them because it means there’s fun, new content on our blog! From one of you, out there in cyberspace! I love all of your different voices. I love all of the comments you leave each other. I love having a community of moms of three. It seriously helps my sanity to know that Sarah and I aren’t the only one’s losing our minds at any given time over the various realities of raising three children. It’s difficult work. And this week we welcome Tasha, a mom to three boys. She and Sarah have that–and [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingOctober 18, 2011
Incomplete
I’ve taken a little time off from writing. It’s been about 10 days. But it seems much longer. I’ve wanted to hit the keyboard for a few days. Now that I’m here, though, I feel klunky. I don’t know where to start. It’s not that I haven’t had time to sit and write. That’s not a new barrier to my output. And it’s not that I haven’t had anything to write about. Finding ideas is not a stumbling block for me. It’s that I needed to do more than Just Write. I needed to process. I needed to focus on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingOctober 13, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Social Media Rockstar
This week it’s Melissa’s turn. Melissa is one of my favorite writers in the blogosphere. She’s smart, funny and—most important—real. Also, she had three kids two kids ago. Now she has five. Occasionally she and I connect on Twitter in a timely fashion, but it’s rare. I think you’ll enjoy reading why. Social Media Rockstar I have to tell you a secret. It’s this: I suck at the internet. And by “the internet” I mean social media. The Twitter, you know. Le Facebook. Google+. (Is that math?) I am terrible at those. I open HootSuite and think: wow! everyone else [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingOctober 11, 2011
Just Writing
I’m at the end of it all. The end of my rope. My patience. My compassion. And yet I’m not really, am I? I never really am. There’s always more to give. More to have. More to be. There’s an index card taped to a window pane in my office that reads “No More Mediocre.” And I’m really trying. Really trying very hard to inject those three words into my every day. The more that I give and have and am. There’s another quote posted on my monitor. “No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.” So while [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, writingOctober 6, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Three is Magic
Here we are again. Let’s get right to it, shall we? Tiffany is a WAHM of three. Olivia, 10, Gabe, 9 and Matthew, almost 6. Olivia has Cri du Chat syndrome and was the motivation for Tiffany starting her blog, Elastamom’s Excerpts. Please do follow her on Twitter. Three is Magic When we decided to start a family, we didn’t know how many kids we wanted. I said 2, he said 4, but after a miscarriage with our first pregnancy, we were just hoping for one. When Olivia was born with Cri du Chat syndrome and a mere 13 months [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingOctober 5, 2011
Daily demands
I have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish today. One is crossed off. I have finished half of another (small) task. The rest of the list is untouched. It is 2:20 p.m., which means that I have to leave the house in no more than 30 minutes to go pick up the two older kids. Nothing will get crossed off of my list once all three kids are home. There will be snacks and after school time spent together. I’m only home at this time of day twice each week, and I like to see my kids [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 30, 2011
How to write a blog post
Sit amidst clutter: papers, clothes, crumbs (take no notice of the mess) Keep one ear open for conflict (raised voices, crying; thud, slap, smack) Try to recall the amazing idea that hit you at 2 a.m. (help your toddler in the bathroom) Fight the frustration of not remembering Start pounding at the keys anyway Breathe as you hit your stride (hop up, shake Goldfish in cup) Start feeling confident at the tapping of your fingers telling your story Smile. Engage in positive self talk. You can do this! It’s possible! (Glance up at the clock, insistent) Calculate the minutes left [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 29, 2011
MomMamaMommy!: Confessions
Meet Heather. Guess what? She has THREE KIDS: Hannah, 6; Connor, 2; and Jack, 6 months. Heather describes herself as “a regular ol’ June Cleaver; minus the clean house, trim figure and smiley disposition.” I’m guessing a few of you might find yourself nodding your heads after reading that sentence. Just wait till you take in her very honest writing. Confessions 1. At any given moment if you were to show up at my door, you would most likely find A) me disciplining, i.e., yelling at, my kids; B) one or more kids crying simultaneously; C) one or more children [...]
Read More in guest post, three kids, writingSeptember 23, 2011
Friday morning all to myself
Right now: Three kids in school Me alone in a quiet library To write: Blog post warm up Then words, sentences, paragraphs. Novel progress Question: Should I be pacing myself? Truth: Writing makes my heart beat Faster and faster with every word Answer: Let the words fall quickly Let the words set the pace
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 20, 2011
Just Write: In which the critic gets beaten down and the words begin to flow
Just write. Sure. Easier said than done. The inner critic is almost as loud as the children, forever in the background. Forever leaving the background to enter my space. Here. Now. Right now. Just write. Fill the white space with your words. My words. The writer writes. The words must come. You cannot wait for the right words or the right time or the right place. You have to demand them now. Frequently. Always. Every day. Every minute. The more you demand them, the easier it is to see them flow from your fingers. Yes. Flow! Right onto the screen. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingSeptember 14, 2011
“This Beautiful Life”: A Momalom book review
A few weeks ago I read Helen Schulman’s novel This Beautiful Life, a novel hinged upon an email transaction gone wrong. My expectations for this book were high. The early buzz reached me through my email inbox, my Twitter account, Facebook, People magazine and on the front page of the Sunday Times “Book Review.” I felt bombarded, honestly, and probably wouldn’t have read the book right away had I not been offered a copy from the publisher. I tend to resist “must reads,” but with all this hype and a review copy on its way to me, I pushed aside [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingSeptember 11, 2011
I’m always in love
I sit amongst the chaos. Chaos. Two girls coloring to my right. Crouched over a shared coloring book. Using those “smelly” markers that always leave polka dots on the ends of their noses when they bring them close to sniff the evergreen and grape scents. “Mama, you think I can take art class?” asks my girl. Almost 6 years old. Her talent flowing through her fingers in a way I envy. And then I realize, as she fills in the spaces between the thin black lines, choosing each color so precisely, I sit only a fraction of a room away, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingSeptember 1, 2011
One week till the unveiling of the new MomMamaMommy!
Beginning next Thursday, we will be featuring guest writers to Momalom on a (we hope) fairly regular basis. We’re thrilled that we already have a half dozen submissions, and we hope that more of you out there will join in. If you’re interested in submitting your work and you have (at least) three kids, here’s a rundown of suggestions (which also can be found on our Facebook page). • Your submission should in some way revolve around you having three children. You may want to narrow in on one aspect (I once calculated that I wash at least 49 pairs [...]
Read More in three kids, writingAugust 15, 2011
Countdown: 53 weeks
A week from today I’ll be 39. Which means in 53 weeks I’ll be 40. I’m not one to put a certain weight on a certain age, but 40 seems like a good target age. For reaching a goal. For finishing a novel, say. As it turns out, I have a novel in progress. I used to be embarrassed to say this out loud. To tell anyone but my closest friends, my sister, my mom. Much to my decreasing surprise I found out that everyone else had one, too. Writing a novel, it seemed, was just one of those things [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingAugust 12, 2011
Manuscript
The words come. The words go. There are better ones. Always better. Then, no, the first phrasing worked. Back to that. Yes. That. Good. And then, upon rereading the draft I realize. First person is better. Let’s not be omniscient. And so the revisions begin again. 1,000 words 2,000. Until the certainty. Omniscience. Yes. Back to the original draft. Confident That the voice is right now It was right all along. Sigh. The words they come. And go. And somehow add up. To 21,357. I commit to the goal: 75,000. I am almost (gasp!) one-third there.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingAugust 3, 2011
Everyday. Dreaming.
This morning I have done laundry. And dishes. I have considered the merits of sweeping the floor before lunch. I have gone upstairs to find “my big piggy, mama!” I have given my 2-year-old a big bowl of cherries and helped her wash her face and hands. I have listened to the Wiggles, whose grating voices blare from the red toy guitar that always seems to reappear from the latest place I’ve hidden it. I have had my coffee, and a handful of Ritz crackers. Returned emails. Read the paper. Finished a book. Found a missing sneaker. This was not [...]
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 10, 2011
10 minutes on a Sunday morning
Sunday morning, and the day stretches out before me in that proverbial way a day does when there’s nothing planned and only one parent home and three kids walking aimlessly through the house. Run-on sentences fill my head. There are the things that I could do: Laundry. Dishes. Get down on the floor and play with the kids. There are the things that I want to do: Sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and gaze up at the trees. Watch the cardinal couple flirting. Prepare for the day by preparing words for the page. There are the [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 8, 2011
Line
Every day I walk the line Mother, partner, Mommy, sister, Mama, daughter Writer, 10 minutes for my words. Every day the line bends unexpectedly bringing one me to the front responding, nurturing, listening. Welcoming all ideas. Every day—surprised by the line, I watch as my varied selves exist together, filling me with inspiration. Every day the line of my pen becomes bolder as my lives unite, begging words to find the page.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingJune 21, 2011
Conflicted
I’m conflicted about what to write here lately. I compose posts in my head nearly every day. Sometimes I even get a chance to jot them down. But then when I find myself with time to really write, I second-guess myself. I’m becoming too self-conscious, a problem I have in real life but one that I’ve been able to keep at bay here. What to do? Write that post about Father’s Day? The one that talks about how much I miss my dad? How having children changed the way I perceive the day now? It’s not so much about loss [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingMay 27, 2011
One (six) word(s) at a time.
All week I kept wanting, wanting to write. Ideas crowding my thoughts leaving me impatient with myself. Failed. Again, no time. Never enough time. ••••• Except, here, in quick, six-word spurts I can get a few words out through my fingers to keyboard to see on screen. To share. •••• Maybe it is in this way that I am clearing the path for the paragraphs to come. And the pages. And the book.
Read More in Jen Writes, writingMay 18, 2011
The New Face of Momalom
My heart wants to come back to writing in this space. So I decided what better way to motivate myself than to redesign our site! I’m having a hard time not feeling guilty about all the hours I’ve spent on quirky little style details. Hours I should be spending on any number of other tasks. Guilt can be both motivating and detrimental, don’t you think? In the end, I’ve chugged along and gotten us a good start. There will be more to come. More design, more words. But for now I just want to say one thing: Writing is a [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, writingMay 5, 2011
Wheels turning
I get in the car and start driving And my brain awakens to the ideas it’s been holding back Amidst the morning needs of getting out the door Helping to get others out the door. I drive and I think and my awakened synapses fire (is that the terminology? is that the science of it?) Ideas come from every direction demanding my attention And I try to keep my focus on the road Without losing sight of the creativity that sustains me That demands my time and my dedication and my patience The same needs that so often are taken [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingApril 30, 2011
Words in solitude
It is quiet. I am curled up on GG’s red couch.Wrapped in her lush, blue, faux-velvet throw. It is quiet (still!) I am alone.The lamplight glows just beyond my shoulder. It is quiet.And the nighttime sounds of this house are almost as familiar as those I hear from my own bed, 90 miles away. If I could hear them now from my nest on the couch, the purrs of my sleeping children–upstairs in their GG beds–surely they would sound the same here as everywhere. But it is quiet. It is. It is quiet. And it is glorious.
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, three kids, writingApril 18, 2011
Discovery
Last night we played a game at the dinner table. One by one each of us added a word to string together a sentence, then two, then a paragraph. (Except for the 2-year-old, who nonetheless demonstrated her near-perfect understanding of the game after one time around the table.) With few fits and restarts the four of us created a sort of a story. It was silly. About a bubble-blowing monster with blue fur who sleeps on tongues, tends to fart and takes baths in mud puddles. No big surprises, given that silly is our dinnertime default and the fact that [...]
Read More in birthday, home, Jen Writes, oldest child, writingAs I sat in the waiting room of my daughter’s ballet school a few months ago I perused a magazine uninterrupted. And I came across a quote that I read over and over again. I am so grateful for moments such as these. In this case, an article about the actress Diane Lane offered me unexpected clarity. Here’s the gem that sparkled before me and that I wrote down, nodding all the way: “Being in a relationship makes it impossible to avoid yourself. … It may not always make me comfortable but it sure has made me a better person. [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingMarch 21, 2011
Sometimes you have to rely on the words of others
Sometimes I sit down to write and the words come faster than I can type them. I begin with an idea and it grows and grows and turns into something else altogether. And at the end of the keyboard dance I am left feeling as if I’ve just taken a deep, cleansing breath. Sometimes I sit down to write and my fingers become stumps, not nimble enough to reach the keys. I can’t find an idea or even a thought, so I sit quietly. Waiting waiting. And frustrated that my limited time is slipping away, taken over by a foggy [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingMarch 13, 2011
Two years of Momalom—Numbers, words
In exactly two years of blogging, Sarah and I have published 464 posts. Comments on the site total 8,757–a quarter or so are responses by the two of us. According to Statcounter, we have received 98,854 hits since we started using the service. And although I know that the total already has surpassed 100,000, it seems a celebratory milestone, to be reached in the next few days. We have nearly 300 Feedburner subscribers and 199 Facebook fans. On Twitter, Sarah (Momalom) has 1,122 followers and is listed 59 times. I (Momalomjen) have 959 followers and am listed 61 times. This [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 24, 2011
Looking back. Then, looking ahead.
I write less specifically these days about THE three kids. Those three kids that inspired my part of the header. Life. With three kids. I’m in it deeper now. Three is my every day. And the shape of my family informs every part of my day, many of my thoughts, much of my planning ahead. But it’s less inspiring, somehow. It’s there, but it’s not the only focus. It’s just the way it is. As a woman I met recently put it, “Three is the new two.” Yes, I thought, both at the time and since. Yes. It is. Three [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 10, 2011
Mark all as Read
If life were like Google Reader, I’d click on a box and move forward. Maybe I’d wonder about all of the content and news I’d just effectively dismissed, but I’d be confident knowing that soon there would be more more more, and that I could–if not pick up where I’d left off–find my place again. A list looms in the back of my mind of all of the things I wanted to do during the holidays–make my mustard (how can a holiday season go by without my kitchen full of canning jars, the scent of Guinness making the house smell [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingNovember 16, 2010
Respecting the process. Enjoying the results.
Today I lowered myself into the cool, chlorinated water. I pulled back my too-long hair and stuffed it under my sturdy swim cap. I pulled my goggles tight. I pushed my feet against the side of the pool. I stretched, consciously making my body as long as I could. I glided. I breathed. I thought, “Why oh why is it so damn hard to get here when it feels so absolutely perfect to be here?” I thought, “Hey, that’s exactly how I feel about writing.” And then I swam. Lap after lap. Finding the rhythm in my body, my breathing, [...]
Read More in exercise, health, Jen Writes, mind/body, writingOctober 26, 2010
Saturday night out of the house and in my head
In the theater with a gorgeous, detailed ceiling painted in warm shades of brown, gold, red. In the theater with friends old and new and in between. In the theater on a Saturday night without kids. In the theater. The stage. The lights. The crowd of people around. Out after dark. I sit. I watch. I listen. I sing along. I think of the children then try not to think of them. This is my night. Our night. Without them. They are at a sleepover at their aunt’s house. They are fine. Oh, but they would love this. The oldest [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writing, youngest childOctober 8, 2010
Fantasy: The small and the grand
Painted walls (without fingerprints, smudges, dents). Absence of piles (clothes, books, papers). Quiet after dark. Through till morning. Also, novel completed, published, read. Acclaimed?
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, writingSeptember 21, 2010
Getting ready to jump in.
I’ve been reading. A lot. Often. Almost constantly. Absorbing words, sentences, whole pages at a time. As if trying to make up for the lost reading time of having three children in four-and-a-half years. As if someone is going to come knocking on my door asking me to identify the latest debuts of the past several years. I’ve been reading and thinking and remembering how absolutely wonderful, how essential already-written words are to my life. Getting lost in stories. Pondering characters. Story structure. Plot. And considering how it all affects my own writing. Except. I haven’t been writing. I think [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingSeptember 14, 2010
From the archives of my life as a mom
Imagine my surprise at finding this little tidbit, written as a part of a writing exercise (I remember…) when I was a mom of (only!) two children. If I have the timing right, my son (now 6) was 2 and my daughter (my only daughter at the time) was 6 months. (She is now rapidly approaching 5.) And so, here it is. A writing exercise. I include it here because it strikes me so profoundly that I feel so much the same now. That almost since day one of becoming a mother, it seems, I have felt exactly this. Exactly [...]
Read More in fatherhood, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writingJuly 28, 2010
Babydoll on the clothesline
The girls are still asleep The boys, awake I sit at my desk and glance out the window at our green backyard Bubbles of sunlight slipping through the leaves of the lush maple trees floating and settling on the too-long green grass There’s a babydoll on the clothesline because yesterday she got dirty in the sandbox and then my not-yet-2-year-old took her into the bathroom and washed her in the sink How can one child be such a do-er And one of her older siblings be so distraught over doing? I sit and I look outside and I ponder questions [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingJuly 19, 2010
On my mind last week.
I couldn’t seem to pull it together last week. I kept trying to write, but I was having trouble staying focused. I think I have too much on my mind lately. Here’s a few of the things that I dwelled on long enough to jot down as ideas but that never quite made it any farther than a sentence or two in post form: It is a foregone conclusion that the needs of a certain child in my household always seem to come before everyone elses, regardless of the circumstances. Why did I dream of an explosion leaping out of [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingYou are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But, listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me. Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and your heart, and heart’s little intelligence, and listen to me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile away and still out of sight, the churn of the [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 2, 2010
Found.
“Recollection, I have found, is usually about half invention.” —Wallace Earle Stegner. OK, so I cheated this week Stealing a few words from Wally. (Not even six words. Nine, actually.) But this quote hangs before me When I sit at my desk. It provides me with great inspiration Perhaps you will be inspired, too. For more Six Word Fridays–and to link up your own six words–check out MakingThingsUp.com!
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingJune 25, 2010
Goals.
They used to be much bigger. Write novel. Have baby (or three). Now, to do dishes after dinner I feel achievement unlike any other. I want to strive for more.
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJune 14, 2010
All-purpose apology note from my 6-year-old
“I am sorry for that” I received this note on Sunday afternoon, amidst the fallout of a meltdown by my 6-year-old son. He’s written notes of apology before, and in the past he has been a bit more specific in describing why he is “sare.” Whether he anticipates using this note again or he just ran out of room on the piece of paper to go into detail, I’m not sure. But the fact that he writes me notes makes my heart swell a bit, even while I am trying to get under control my own emotional reaction to his [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingMarch 30, 2010
Emotional suppleness
This morning on my drive into work, I happened upon an interview with scientist Stephen S. Hall. In talking about his new book Wisdom: From Philosophy to Science he used the term “emotional suppleness.” I didn’t hear much of what he said after that, because I just kept repeating those two words over and over to myself. Emotional suppleness. Emotional suppleness. I’ve written about my struggles for time, about wanting to be mindful of my children’s childhoods while also preparing them for adulthood, about the challenges of getting kids into bed, of keeping calm, of not wanting to be judged [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kids, writingMarch 15, 2010
Struggling for time
Loud music. And 23 minutes on the dinner timer. Means I have time to sit down at my computer for a moment. Should I be with the rest of the family? Together in the other room. Enjoying the loud music, even louder in there. I am torn. I can actually feel the internal pulling. The I Shoulds: Family. I should be enjoying this time with them. Dancing. Goofing around. Singing to loud music. Taking in their smiles and their little bodies moving freely. Against. The I Wants: Time. Time is what I want. Time to form a complete thought and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJanuary 7, 2010
A Writer’s Life?
How much of my life should I reveal here? Where do I draw the line regarding what personal details or thoughts or doubts to include? Does leaving myself vulnerable make me naive? Negligent? Irresponsible? To myself? To others whose lives are inseparable from my own? But. How can I be authentic without sometimes being vulnerable? These are some of the questions that arise again and again. And the answers are no closer to the surface. I know that I will not post photos. Or use names. I will not reveal any identifying details about where I live. Perhaps you could [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingDecember 30, 2009
(Be)longing
Was I lying when I wrote about not apologizing for my dreams? Because I haven’t been doing much to further those dreams lately. I have been composing only in my head. At night. Long after everyone else in the house is asleep. Or I have been jotting down notes on a legal pad between trips to the kitchen to do a dish, get a snack, refill a juice cup. But I have not been here. Here. At the computer, the porthole to the blog, at night, after the kids are asleep. I have not. Instead I have been with my [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, home, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingNovember 8, 2009
A poem on Sunday
Pardon me while I take the easy way out of my NaBloPoMo responsibilities today. It’s just that I’m tired. And everyone in my family is sick. And I tried to write a post, I really did, but I kept looking over to the wall beside my desk, where I have this poem tacked up. It’s one of my favorites. And I think you should read it.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingNovember 4, 2009
me (n) an undefinable entity
What defines you? How do you describe yourself to other moms? To other women who aren’t moms? Are you a mother? Blogger? Partner? Are you a daughter? Artist? Financial planner? Are you a toilet scrubber, grocery shopper, diaper changer, chauffeur? What are you? What am I? What AM I? I am a mother first. Well, I am a woman first. I was a partner first. And then the kids came and took over. I am a meal planner, a cook, a nurturer. I am a toy-picker-upper. I am an editor. And a bedtime-story reader. I am a hugger and a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingOctober 30, 2009
On your mark … Get set …
Well folks, here it is. The stark truth. Staring at me. A while ago Sarah and I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo. And here it is Oct. 30. So we are going to have to gear up. Am I back in with both feet, as Sarah so understandably asked? Yes, I am. So give us tomorrow to gorge ourselves on candy, and we’ll be back every day in November. Yep. Every. Day. Looking forward to seeing you here.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingOctober 27, 2009
The days of no me before motherhood
So I kind of abandoned Sarah this week. Talk about SCARY. I’d been walking around for days frustrated with just about every big aspect of life. (More than usual.) Money. Career. Relationship. Mommyhood. And I’d started to take it all out on my kids. And my partner. I was having imaginary conversations. Out loud. It was getting pretty ugly. And scary. Because I wasn’t making anything better. I was avoiding real conversations that needed to be had. And I was perpetuating a vicious circle of “why am I the only one” thinking. Why am I the only one to see [...]
Read More in chores, history aka before kids, home, housework, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, paid work, relationship, sisters, three kids, work, writingOctober 18, 2009
Give yourself away
When I was in high school I had a favorite teacher. She would have us freewrite. It was liberating for me. I didn’t understand why some of my classmates would groan. We were given a topic and ten minutes. Our pens were instructed to flow freely and effortlessly and consistently for 10 minutes. And I say “our pens” because they really take on a life of their own when you let your mind just go. I don’t think I ever realized it until now but it was like a meditation. A release of the thoughts. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, history aka before kids, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids, writingOctober 9, 2009
I’ve never even touched a cigarette
So. My story is not as dramatic as Sarah’s. Haven’t read hers? You should. I’d link to it here, but you’d probably go and read it. And you’d likely never return. It’s quite gripping. (Maybe I’ll give you another shot later.) My story is so undramatic that it’s difficult to know how to tell it. What to mention. What to leave out. I was the good girl. I didn’t drink. I didn’t smoke. No drugs. No parties. No dates. I’ve never even touched a cigarette. My mom says that when I reached age 5 the hard parts of raising me [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, writingSeptember 1, 2009
The noises coming from upstairs
I am trying to write something useful. Again. I have started three different posts. All take too much brain power to bring to a satisfactory (to me) completion. I don’t have a migraine. I ate today. I exercised today. I didn’t yell at my kids at bedtime. I slept relatively well last night. All of this together brings me as close to being in top form as I get these days. But I can’t make myself see the intended posts through. My problem is perfection. I have an idea in my mind. An idea that encompasses all that I want [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingDear Jen, I put this in an email. A reply to your 5:35 message. I typed it all out and almost hit send, but thought it better to post it here, where we ARE free, where we CAN be. Where I feel our bond most strong, most clear, and most alive.I love you!Sarah omg i wishi couldsteal you awayand the kidsi’d take them tooand we could all go to a retreatin the woodswith a high energy sitter who happens to drive a tractorand keeps backhoes and bulldozers handy for serious excavationand the kids could dig a tunnelor 200and create a [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, Favorites, home, Jen Writes, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids, unpaid work, writingWith every milestone I find myself looking back, usually wondering HOW did we ever get HERE. B is FIVE already? Holy moly, as he would say. What happened? Wasn’t he just born? Weren’t we just nuzzled together on the couch, settled in for one of his marathon nursing sessions? Nope. It’s been five years. And two more kids. And I’m nursing again, but there’s not a whole lot of nuzzling this time. More like refereeing from the sidelines, breaking up fights between B and S while trying to get a meal in for E. (As I watch the basketball playoffs [...]
Read More in Favorites, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kids, writing