Sarah and I were talking yesterday about how lucky we are. There are so many reasons, of course, but our conversation centered around family. Our own childhoods, with engaged, educated, interesting, fun parents who each respected their children and encouraged us all to excel, to take risks, to grow. OK, we didn’t use those words during our chat, but that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Having good parents means so very much. Now that we’re both in the thick of it, trying oh so hard to be good parents ourselves, we call upon our own childhood experiences more [...]
Read More in Dad, GG, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, siblings, sisters, special occasions, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingJanuary 24, 2012
Memories to strive for
November 8, 2011
Crossing. To safety.
There’s a part at the end of my favorite book, Crossing to Safety, where one of the main characters is dying. She’s a matriarch. She’s a force. She’s the one to whom everyone looks—for direction, for ideas, for guidance. During her whole life, she has run the show. And now the show is her death. She’s trying to die with grace. She’s trying to make it easy on everyone else. She chooses her best female friend and her daughter and her sister to ferry her to the place she has chosen to die. Her husband is furious. He feels left [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kids, writingOctober 25, 2011
Rainbow
I saw a rainbow on my drive in to work today. I’m a sappy, sentimental, metaphor-loving writer. You can imagine how happy I was—practically grinning—to find myself driving under a perfect arc of ROY-G-BIV. I do not condone taking photos while driving, but I couldn’t resist. This photo captures not even half of the architecturally breathtaking half-circle that created a tunnel over Route 9. Only once before have I seen such a rainbow. It was a few years ago, driving the reverse trip. Leaving the town in which I work, and in which Sweetie’s sister also lives. Our sweet family, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, special occasions, three kids, work, writingOctober 18, 2011
Incomplete
I’ve taken a little time off from writing. It’s been about 10 days. But it seems much longer. I’ve wanted to hit the keyboard for a few days. Now that I’m here, though, I feel klunky. I don’t know where to start. It’s not that I haven’t had time to sit and write. That’s not a new barrier to my output. And it’s not that I haven’t had anything to write about. Finding ideas is not a stumbling block for me. It’s that I needed to do more than Just Write. I needed to process. I needed to focus on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingOctober 5, 2011
Daily demands
I have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish today. One is crossed off. I have finished half of another (small) task. The rest of the list is untouched. It is 2:20 p.m., which means that I have to leave the house in no more than 30 minutes to go pick up the two older kids. Nothing will get crossed off of my list once all three kids are home. There will be snacks and after school time spent together. I’m only home at this time of day twice each week, and I like to see my kids [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingSeptember 27, 2011
No.
You know those people who “won’t take no for an answer?” I’m not one of them. I expect no. I don’t ask or pursue because I assume no. Of course this makes a yes very exciting. It also raises the yes stakes. High. I’m not a person who takes no for an answer. And now I ask myself why. Why? Am I afraid to fail? [Maybe. Although I think I'm afraid to not be ready to try. Is that the same thing?] Am I afraid to put myself first? [Yes.] Am I afraid or am I just me? I remember [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 20, 2011
Just Write: In which the critic gets beaten down and the words begin to flow
Just write. Sure. Easier said than done. The inner critic is almost as loud as the children, forever in the background. Forever leaving the background to enter my space. Here. Now. Right now. Just write. Fill the white space with your words. My words. The writer writes. The words must come. You cannot wait for the right words or the right time or the right place. You have to demand them now. Frequently. Always. Every day. Every minute. The more you demand them, the easier it is to see them flow from your fingers. Yes. Flow! Right onto the screen. [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingSeptember 11, 2011
I’m always in love
I sit amongst the chaos. Chaos. Two girls coloring to my right. Crouched over a shared coloring book. Using those “smelly” markers that always leave polka dots on the ends of their noses when they bring them close to sniff the evergreen and grape scents. “Mama, you think I can take art class?” asks my girl. Almost 6 years old. Her talent flowing through her fingers in a way I envy. And then I realize, as she fills in the spaces between the thin black lines, choosing each color so precisely, I sit only a fraction of a room away, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, writingApril 18, 2011
Discovery
Last night we played a game at the dinner table. One by one each of us added a word to string together a sentence, then two, then a paragraph. (Except for the 2-year-old, who nonetheless demonstrated her near-perfect understanding of the game after one time around the table.) With few fits and restarts the four of us created a sort of a story. It was silly. About a bubble-blowing monster with blue fur who sleeps on tongues, tends to fart and takes baths in mud puddles. No big surprises, given that silly is our dinnertime default and the fact that [...]
Read More in birthday, home, Jen Writes, oldest child, writingOctober 26, 2010
Saturday night out of the house and in my head
In the theater with a gorgeous, detailed ceiling painted in warm shades of brown, gold, red. In the theater with friends old and new and in between. In the theater on a Saturday night without kids. In the theater. The stage. The lights. The crowd of people around. Out after dark. I sit. I watch. I listen. I sing along. I think of the children then try not to think of them. This is my night. Our night. Without them. They are at a sleepover at their aunt’s house. They are fine. Oh, but they would love this. The oldest [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writing, youngest childSeptember 14, 2010
From the archives of my life as a mom
Imagine my surprise at finding this little tidbit, written as a part of a writing exercise (I remember…) when I was a mom of (only!) two children. If I have the timing right, my son (now 6) was 2 and my daughter (my only daughter at the time) was 6 months. (She is now rapidly approaching 5.) And so, here it is. A writing exercise. I include it here because it strikes me so profoundly that I feel so much the same now. That almost since day one of becoming a mother, it seems, I have felt exactly this. Exactly [...]
Read More in fatherhood, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writingOctober 18, 2009
Give yourself away
When I was in high school I had a favorite teacher. She would have us freewrite. It was liberating for me. I didn’t understand why some of my classmates would groan. We were given a topic and ten minutes. Our pens were instructed to flow freely and effortlessly and consistently for 10 minutes. And I say “our pens” because they really take on a life of their own when you let your mind just go. I don’t think I ever realized it until now but it was like a meditation. A release of the thoughts. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, history aka before kids, motherhood, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids, writing