It was a weekend full of emotion, and I feel raw. In just two days we packed in parties and traveling, swim lessons and breakfast for dinner. Summer camp open house and playing “store” at home. In other words, it was exceptional and ordinary, all at once. We planned and arranged and rearranged so that Sweetie and I could go to a wedding Saturday. It was a gorgeous day. I found a dress that (mostly) fit and shoes that my daughter was concerned might cause me to “fall over.” I ironed Sweetie’s shirt and helped him choose a tie. The [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, special occasions, three kidsMay 21, 2012
Exceptional
May 15, 2012
Morning
It’s morning. I know by the light coming around the window shade in soft waves, somehow getting beyond my eyelids, squeezed shut. It’s morning. I know by the weight shifting beside me, Sweetie sitting up, reaching for his T-shirt discarded in the night. It’s morning. I know by the sounds of the birds. I wish I knew exactly what kind of birds. It’s morning. I know because my mind is more awake than I wish it would be. Full of all there is to do. It’s morning. And soon I must get up from my bed and start the day. [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingApril 21, 2012
Eight
On this day eight years ago at exactly 4:00 a.m. you were born. And as much as I could write and write and write all sappy-like about the ways that you have changed my life and made it better and more challenging and more worthwhile… I won’t. I will say only this: Never in my wildest imagination did I dream that a child of mine would be a drummer. And that your birthday gift on this remarkable milestone of turning 8 (but entering your ninth year) would be these. And that is the thing about motherhood. It is full of [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsApril 10, 2012
Today. Tuesday.
I’m starting to have tiny panic attacks about Five for Five. We don’t have a button. We haven’t announced topics. When will I write? Read? Comment? Life is so incredibly busy. Last night I slept for 10 straight hours, and while I didn’t exactly wake up tired, I’d nap today if I had the time. I’m happy and yet I want more. My children are strong and bright and talented and funny. They have friends and activities that challenge them and keep them busy. They are curious and stubborn all at once. I want them to grow up healthy and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, parenthood, sleep, special occasions, three kids, work, writingApril 6, 2012
Friday morning equation
I sit in a quiet house while Sweetie and our 3-year-old daughter return bottles to the redemption center. A few dollars earned in deposits (+) time alone for mama to be still (=) immeasurable gains in our family’s happiness.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writing, youngest childApril 2, 2012
Memento
I capped off last week with a much-anticipated evening of fun with GG and Sarah. And I brought a reminder of said evening with me to work today. It is a reminder to myself of a night spent giggling with my mother and sister in a mall parking lot after gorging ourselves on popcorn and Sour Patch Kids (and Twizzlers and Rolos) in a darkened movie theater while watching a non-animated, almost-adult movie. An experience worth remembering. And one I hope we can do again. Soon. ***** Five for Five update: • Folks, there’s a Twitter list of Five for [...]
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, special occasionsMarch 28, 2012
Five tips on how best to enjoy your family
1. Take a week off from work just to spend time with them. 2. Take your children to the after-school activities that you usually can’t because you’re at work. 3. Enjoy being (almost) singularly focused on family because you’re not spending time thinking about work. 4. Have lunch in bed beside your Sweetie. Several days in a row. Instead of at your desk. At work. 5. Resist making lists of things to do while you are taking a week off from work just to spend time with your family. Bonus: Go on a field trip with your kid’s kindergarten class [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, workMarch 25, 2012
This is My Life: Drums
This set-up spent a few days in our living room before we had time to rearrange the nearly-8-year-old’s bedroom. But now the new drum kit is in its intended spot. In the boy’s room. Front and center. And every time he plays them, I start dancing.
Read More in Jen Writes, oldest childMarch 18, 2012
(Be)longing [still]
For the past several days I’ve been trying to write a blog post. I kept getting stuck, so I took a few minutes to peruse the Momalom archives. Along the way I found that I’d already written what I’ve been trying to write. This post was originally published in December 2009. Was I lying when I wrote about not apologizing for my dreams? Because I haven’t been doing much to further those dreams lately. I have been composing only in my head. At night. Long after everyone else in the house is asleep. Or I have been jotting down notes [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, repost, three kids, writingMarch 9, 2012
I wish
For more mornings like this one— Time with sweetie; time with writing; time to breathe and, most important, time to look forward to family: time spent together at day’s end.
Read More in home, Jen Writes, parenthood, three kids, writingFebruary 28, 2012
Today
It’s been so long since I’ve written here that now that I’m here I don’t know what to write. With such a lapse comes a weighted feeling of needed perfection. If I write frequently it’s easier to give up the expectation of success. Just getting words out is enough. Tomorrow they can be better. But when there’s been days, weeks of no writing, then I start to feel like I need to say something relevant, profound, provocative. Or at the very least, interesting. But today I’m not feeling interesting. Today I’m just grateful that it’s Tuesday, and Heather is still [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingFebruary 14, 2012
I Love
Subconsciously I must have been aware I’d wake up to Valentine’s Day. But at the time I wasn’t thinking about that, even though I’d (finally) just coaxed two of the boys to address and package their class Valentines. I climbed into bed beside my husband who, for the first time in forever, was reading a book. The Hunger Games, if you must know, because I’d been hyping it up as a guilty pleasure to everyone I know. Of course, he downloaded it to my Nook, leaving me to either start a new book or dip into an old one I [...]
Read More in Sarah WritesFebruary 13, 2012
Broken wrist and a broken blog?
Where have we been? Sarah broke her wrist a few weeks back, so it’s been tough for her to write. I have no such physical excuse. But I think maybe the blogging part of me broke a little bit recently. I’ve been pushing this place out of my mind, away from my consciousness. It doesn’t feel right. And yet, it feels a relief, too. It’s so impossible to do it all. It’s so impossible to do even what needs to be done. (I took the weekend off from laundry. Felt good at the time, but I know many of you [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingJanuary 24, 2012
Memories to strive for
Sarah and I were talking yesterday about how lucky we are. There are so many reasons, of course, but our conversation centered around family. Our own childhoods, with engaged, educated, interesting, fun parents who each respected their children and encouraged us all to excel, to take risks, to grow. OK, we didn’t use those words during our chat, but that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Having good parents means so very much. Now that we’re both in the thick of it, trying oh so hard to be good parents ourselves, we call upon our own childhood experiences more [...]
Read More in Dad, GG, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, siblings, sisters, special occasions, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingDecember 29, 2011
Repost: Letter redux
I first published the letter below last January, at the outset of 2011. As I re-read it tonight I felt sad and empty with the realization that a few short months after I wrote those words, I lost that self for a time. I should elaborate. But what’s most important is that I’m back now. My better self found. Or I’m here again: In this place, thinking about the living that happens beyond the writing. So much has changed this past year. And yet what is important is so fully the same. The people with whom I share this life, [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, repost, three kids, writingNovember 30, 2011
Silver vision
My heart is still swollen from a Monday night surprise that leaves me unable to write my own words. And so I share instead a few stanzas from a song that I’m listening to right now. If you recognize these words and maybe the melody plays in your mind and you find yourself thinking of strings and harmony, maybe you know what the surprise was—concert tickets tucked into an early Christmas card and landing in my hand when I got home from work. Sweetie and I don’t go out just the two of us very often. And Monday was a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, relationship, special occasions, three kidsNovember 28, 2011
A promise
I sit and I look through seven-and-a-half years of photos of my beautiful kids. There’s a smile on my face and a tear threatening the corner of my eye. I fight the sadness that they are growing up so fast. Too fast. Parenting is full of mixed emotion. Everyday contradictions. Pride and uncertainty colliding in bursts inside of me. And I promise myself now that I will appreciate it all: These children. My children. Their moments of miraculousness. Their wonder. Their joy. Their accomplishments. The gift of being their mother. There’s just so much to this life. So much to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 25, 2011
Thanks
My Sweetie and our three children— four beautiful people who shine bright— leave me thankful every single day. And shining brighter, too. Twinkling, even.
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, relationship, three kidsNovember 20, 2011
One + one = Quality time
“Hey, B,” I ask. “So do you want to go to the pool?” It’s so beautiful out (Almost 60 degrees! In November!) that I half feel like I shouldn’t suggest an indoor activity. But yesterday after swim lessons my son asked if we could go to free swim soon. And with a 3-year-old with a broken ankle I didn’t think the answer would be yes. But now the 3-year-old and her older sister are playing together at a friend’s house, and my boy and I have an hour or so to spend alone. I say no so very often to [...]
Read More in exercise, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 11, 2011
Three happy kids = One happy mama
So many childhood moments worth saving Few more heartwarming than this one: ********
Read More in Jen Writes, siblings, three kidsNovember 9, 2011
summer
I know it’s cliche, but where did it go? Winter is fast approaching. I bought snow boots the other day. Of course, they don’t fit and I have to take them back, but at least I was thinking about snow in advance of snow actually landing on my lap. Well, that’s not really true, I suppose, since we just experienced a freak October snowstorm and were powerless for 7 days. Can you believe there are people in CT who still do not have power? Ugh. I feel horribly for them. So I’m daydreaming about summer. Not really because I want [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 8, 2011
Crossing. To safety.
There’s a part at the end of my favorite book, Crossing to Safety, where one of the main characters is dying. She’s a matriarch. She’s a force. She’s the one to whom everyone looks—for direction, for ideas, for guidance. During her whole life, she has run the show. And now the show is her death. She’s trying to die with grace. She’s trying to make it easy on everyone else. She chooses her best female friend and her daughter and her sister to ferry her to the place she has chosen to die. Her husband is furious. He feels left [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kids, writingOctober 25, 2011
Rainbow
I saw a rainbow on my drive in to work today. I’m a sappy, sentimental, metaphor-loving writer. You can imagine how happy I was—practically grinning—to find myself driving under a perfect arc of ROY-G-BIV. I do not condone taking photos while driving, but I couldn’t resist. This photo captures not even half of the architecturally breathtaking half-circle that created a tunnel over Route 9. Only once before have I seen such a rainbow. It was a few years ago, driving the reverse trip. Leaving the town in which I work, and in which Sweetie’s sister also lives. Our sweet family, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, parenthood, special occasions, three kids, work, writingSeptember 9, 2011
Young at Heart
Last night my family and I walked together to the town center to see this amazing singing group. (Take a look. I’ll wait here.) There are few more moving examples of life lived to its fullest. We should all be so lucky.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsSeptember 7, 2011
Eye level
I didn’t get teary eyed at kindergarten drop-off yesterday. My middle child wearing her too-heavy backpack let go of my hand and headed straight into her new classroom for her first day. She paused for a moment in front of one of her new classmates (in tears) until one of the teachers swooped in, bending down to my nearly 6-year-old’s eye level. Then I paused for a moment, wishing I could be a fly on a the wall of this classroom–the same one my now second-grader started his own school career in. But before I completed the thought I turned [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsAugust 3, 2011
Everyday. Dreaming.
This morning I have done laundry. And dishes. I have considered the merits of sweeping the floor before lunch. I have gone upstairs to find “my big piggy, mama!” I have given my 2-year-old a big bowl of cherries and helped her wash her face and hands. I have listened to the Wiggles, whose grating voices blare from the red toy guitar that always seems to reappear from the latest place I’ve hidden it. I have had my coffee, and a handful of Ritz crackers. Returned emails. Read the paper. Finished a book. Found a missing sneaker. This was not [...]
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 19, 2011
501 on the coast of South Carolina
The last post, Sarah’s most recent and one of her best, was our 500th here at Momalom. 500. Now that seems worthy of ceremony, even if it’s after the fact. But ceremony is far from our reality right now, here during post 501, because we are on vacation, Sarah and I. With our spouses. And our brother and sister-in-law. And all of our nine combined children (eldest: 8.9; youngest: 2.9). And our mother (Geege!) We are on vacation. And we are having fun. Swim, snack, rinse, nap, repeat. Sarah’s husband has certain bartending abilities, and he sent me to [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, siblings, special occasions, three kids, three kids (six kids)July 10, 2011
10 minutes on a Sunday morning
Sunday morning, and the day stretches out before me in that proverbial way a day does when there’s nothing planned and only one parent home and three kids walking aimlessly through the house. Run-on sentences fill my head. There are the things that I could do: Laundry. Dishes. Get down on the floor and play with the kids. There are the things that I want to do: Sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and gaze up at the trees. Watch the cardinal couple flirting. Prepare for the day by preparing words for the page. There are the [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingJune 24, 2011
Anniversary
If we could devote this day to just the two of us as the calendar says we might how would we pass the time? Walking to town hand in hand browsing in bookstores and music stores Sitting outside, watching people go by Even enjoying a quiet meal together? That’s how we spent our days before one address, before three children. I think back and am grateful. We leaped together. We’re still aloft.
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, relationshipMay 31, 2011
Choreography
Last weekend, my oldest daughter and forever middle child had her first full-length ballet recital. I cried. (Of course.) She didn’t. She flitted onstage and off, fully embracing her butterfly role. Oh the pride. To see her up there in her blue flowing dress, flowers in her tightly wound orange hair. To see the older dancers and remember my own years on stage. I had to hold back. I had to stop from thinking about myself. About my own childhood. Adolescence. About all that I wanted to accomplish and haven’t yet. About all that I have accomplished—love, a life together, [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsMay 13, 2011
Wisdom (n.)
The ability to see the beauty in the messy moments of parenting. Add your own six-word wisdom at www.makingthingsup.com.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, youngest childMay 8, 2011
For GG on Mother’s Day
Two Sundays ago it was GG’s birthday. And I wanted to write a tribute to her, much in the way that Sarah did last year. But this year (and, to my surprise, for the first time in her life) my mom shared her birthday with Easter, and so the time I would have liked to spend on the tribute was spent in the company of the Easter Bunny. And now it’s Mother’s Day. And I started writing this post a week ago, trying to grasp the next chance to pay tribute to the remarkable woman who is my mother. And [...]
Read More in GG, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMay 5, 2011
Wheels turning
I get in the car and start driving And my brain awakens to the ideas it’s been holding back Amidst the morning needs of getting out the door Helping to get others out the door. I drive and I think and my awakened synapses fire (is that the terminology? is that the science of it?) Ideas come from every direction demanding my attention And I try to keep my focus on the road Without losing sight of the creativity that sustains me That demands my time and my dedication and my patience The same needs that so often are taken [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingApril 18, 2011
Discovery
Last night we played a game at the dinner table. One by one each of us added a word to string together a sentence, then two, then a paragraph. (Except for the 2-year-old, who nonetheless demonstrated her near-perfect understanding of the game after one time around the table.) With few fits and restarts the four of us created a sort of a story. It was silly. About a bubble-blowing monster with blue fur who sleeps on tongues, tends to fart and takes baths in mud puddles. No big surprises, given that silly is our dinnertime default and the fact that [...]
Read More in birthday, home, Jen Writes, oldest child, writingAs I sat in the waiting room of my daughter’s ballet school a few months ago I perused a magazine uninterrupted. And I came across a quote that I read over and over again. I am so grateful for moments such as these. In this case, an article about the actress Diane Lane offered me unexpected clarity. Here’s the gem that sparkled before me and that I wrote down, nodding all the way: “Being in a relationship makes it impossible to avoid yourself. … It may not always make me comfortable but it sure has made me a better person. [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writingMarch 17, 2011
In which I consider doing a jig
My dad wasn’t a morning person. The phrases with which he greeted each day are not ones I can transcribe here. He didn’t sleep well. He woke up in nicotine debt. He didn’t particularly look forward to going to work in the mornings. I know, I’m not painting a pretty picture. There were a few days each year, though, when dad came down the stairs with a spring in his step, the sound of the abundance of change in his pants’ pockets jingling. And St. Patrick’s Day was one of the days that put him in a lighter mood. He [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 13, 2011
Two years of Momalom—Numbers, words
In exactly two years of blogging, Sarah and I have published 464 posts. Comments on the site total 8,757–a quarter or so are responses by the two of us. According to Statcounter, we have received 98,854 hits since we started using the service. And although I know that the total already has surpassed 100,000, it seems a celebratory milestone, to be reached in the next few days. We have nearly 300 Feedburner subscribers and 199 Facebook fans. On Twitter, Sarah (Momalom) has 1,122 followers and is listed 59 times. I (Momalomjen) have 959 followers and am listed 61 times. This [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, sisters, three kids, three kids (six kids), writingFebruary 20, 2011
Weathering the present
I have just about had enough of winter. On the eve of what is predicted to be a “quick storm,” resulting in four to six more inches of snow on our already blanketed yard, the magic of the glistening white branches is over for me. I want to be able to open my back door and send the kids outside without having to bundle them up or respond to snow up the sleeve, down the collar, in the boot. I want to be able to clean my house–yes, I just said that–without people underfoot everywhere I go (undoing my work [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsFebruary 14, 2011
Love Letter Redux
Happy Valentine’s Day! I’ve linked up with Real Life with Kids today, to a letter I wrote to my Sweetie last Valentine’s Day. It’s cheating, of course. But that’s the cool thing about Zombie Mondays. You dig up an old post and ease yourself into the week. (Besides, I still feel the same way about my Sweetie this year.) So go read about Cate’s dazzling love affair, check out other Zombie Love Monday contributors, resurrect one of your old posts (a love letter, perhaps?) and link up.
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Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, repost, three kidsFebruary 13, 2011
Glimpses
I catch them more often these days: A 10-year-old boy in the library, curled up reading, oblivious to the children (three of them mine) playing and running around him. A mother dropping off her children–all of them–at school in the morning and getting back into her minivan. Alone. My son on a playdate that lasts through dinner. The changes and growth of children–all children–are suddenly more at the center of my vision. I see other families whose childrens’ lives are starting to take on their own directions. I spend (a little) more time with just a subset of all of [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 8, 2011
Saved
There are people in my life who have been saved. By doctors. By friends. By airbags. By me. There are people in my life who have saved me. Doctors. Friends. My children. My sweetie. I have been thinking about these moments of saving and being saved, and I have been wondering. Did I take notice of these moments and these people at the time the change—the saving—was happening? Did I realize the impact of a medical procedure, a hug, a beating heart, a working brake pedal? Perhaps I did. Yes. I probably did. But I’m realizing that it’s only afterward, [...]
Read More in Jen WritesJanuary 22, 2011
A letter to my (future) self.
Dear Self, I like you these days. This you that is less concerned with the things that don’t matter too much—like the state of the floor, clothes strewn, toys scattered. Or the unmade beds and unwashed children. (Are you sensing a trend, self?) I like you. I like your kindness these days. Your more lighthearted self. There is so much that is difficult, namely finances and mothering—knowing what is right and being able to do right by your family. The other stuff—the messy house, the extra five pounds, the hair that grows increasingly longer down your back, the missed PTO [...]
Read More in chores, housework, Jen Writes, motherhoodJanuary 13, 2011
Within reach
Here is Sarah during a stop in the aviary at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. It feels like this visit was ages ago, but really it was just more than two weeks. How does that happen, time going too fast? And how can I stop it? I’ll save the photos of orangutans and moose and a black-tongued giraffe for another day like today, when I have lots to say but absolutely no time to write.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsJanuary 2, 2011
Life on a winding road
Somehow our December-long Momalom in Pictures slipped away, not unlike the last days of 2010, for me spent driving back home from the West, a trip that spanned 12 days and a total of 4,059.8 miles. A trip of adventure, family, new experiences, inopportune bathroom needs, laughter, noise and food. It occurs to me that the trip–a first of such epic distance as a family–was perhaps a microcosm of our “real” life, the life that is ours in our little house in New England. And that life is a successful one overall, just as our maiden voyage to see our [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 9, 2010
Spaghetti and marshmallows.
November 15, 2010
Learning in the quiet
I curled up on my son’s bed beside him in the dark at the end of this long Monday. In the quiet in the dark I listened to his breathing, tried hard not to comment on his squirming. And then out of the silence he began to talk. The things he revealed to me were not responses to questions I asked. I wouldn’t have known to ask about these things: facts worries ideas questions of his own that fill his mind. We snuggled together under his warm blankets and I tried to say as little as possible as I answered [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 3, 2010
Coming to terms again and again
I have come to the realization that I believed that when my childbearing days were over I’d step out of one world and into another. From the world of emerging parent to that of established parent. It has taken me some time to come to terms with the reality that Sweetie and I have (only? exactly? ) three children. That we are blessed to have three children. And. And that there will not be more. But then, everyone else keeps having babies. Friends new and old. Neighbors. Co-workers. So many of the people that I see and talk to daily [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsOctober 4, 2010
Success simplified.
How do you measure success? It’s an old question, I know. Unoriginal. Visited by most. But. It’s worth asking, I think. If I measured success by my bank account balance, I’d be an utter failure. Or, if I measured by the cleanliness of my house. (I’m laughing now, for I am incapable of keeping our home neat, tidy, organized or, quite frankly, clean.) Other measurements that may result in my failure to succeed: I do not live in a large house. We do not have a landscaped yard with perfect lawn. We do not have the latest technological gadgets. We [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsSeptember 16, 2010
Intentional Happiness Virgin
Until now, Intentional Happiness has been Sarah’s realm. But, well, she’s super busy being the super designer that she is. Just this week, she finished another fabulous site makeover. (Check out Never-True Tales). And, since she’s preparing for her third-annual Reach the Beach roadrelayforcrazypeoplethingy, I offered to share some of my own happiness today. Here goes: My two older kids have cameras, courtesy of GG. They use them frequently. They sneak up on me and click lovely shots (that I could have deleted upon downloading their images, mind you). They do a house-wide study in still life. They take beautiful [...]
Read More in !!!, home, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsSeptember 14, 2010
From the archives of my life as a mom
Imagine my surprise at finding this little tidbit, written as a part of a writing exercise (I remember…) when I was a mom of (only!) two children. If I have the timing right, my son (now 6) was 2 and my daughter (my only daughter at the time) was 6 months. (She is now rapidly approaching 5.) And so, here it is. A writing exercise. I include it here because it strikes me so profoundly that I feel so much the same now. That almost since day one of becoming a mother, it seems, I have felt exactly this. Exactly [...]
Read More in fatherhood, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kids, writingSeptember 9, 2010
Mama, When is my next ballet class?
Her question floats quietly from the back seat of the minivan As my daughter’s questions always do I piece together the words Recognize the slightly higher than usual pitch of her voice Glance in the mirror and notice her neck stretched forward And I explain that she has to wait until next Saturday Her shoulders slump, her eyes fall Next Saturday is 10 long days away In her first-ever dance lesson My daughter shone Pink tights Soft, leather ballet slippers Orange hair all tied up in a bun not any bigger than a large grape Her purple leotard stretched across [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, three kidsSeptember 6, 2010
Reflections
This morning, I looked up from scrubbing the bathroom sink to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Glasses slipping down my nose. Hair pulled back in a messy bun that highlighted my grey streak. I did a lot of housework today. It feels important to me that B go off to school tomorrow from a clean house. And so there I was, spray bottle in one hand and paper towel in the other, bent over the white pedestal sink wondering if the hardened peanut butter would ever come unglued from the faucet when, wait, there I was. In [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsAugust 22, 2010
“They store up liquids like a water tower.”
“In case we disappear for a few days. Ya know?” Sarah wrote this in an e-mail to me, in response to my continued amazement at the liquid intake of my son. She and I each have a child who consumes copious amounts of liquid. Juice cups are filled and refilled throughout the day. Thermoses are constantly on hand. And while I sincerely hope there is no correlation between their intake of apple juice and water now to the amount of alcohol they ingest in their teen years, it really is remarkable to witness. It’s also extremely irritating. No matter what, [...]
Read More in birthday, health, home, Jen Writes, middle child, mind/body, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childAugust 2, 2010
A Successful Vacation
Today is Monday. Last Monday I was at the “big” library, scouring the shelves for new audiobooks for my big boy. Choosing my “baby’s” first book to be taken out. Advising my 4-year-old on which Madeleine video to select. It was a warm and sunny summer day. Perfect for a trip downtown. A smoothie. A day of whim. For 10 days I enjoyed such whim. I got out of bed—one day early, one day late, the rest at the usual time—and faced each day with no grand plans. It was a vacation in the true sense of the word. Except [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, three kids (six kids)July 28, 2010
Babydoll on the clothesline
The girls are still asleep The boys, awake I sit at my desk and glance out the window at our green backyard Bubbles of sunlight slipping through the leaves of the lush maple trees floating and settling on the too-long green grass There’s a babydoll on the clothesline because yesterday she got dirty in the sandbox and then my not-yet-2-year-old took her into the bathroom and washed her in the sink How can one child be such a do-er And one of her older siblings be so distraught over doing? I sit and I look outside and I ponder questions [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingJuly 23, 2010
Together (inevitably)
You are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But, listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me. Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and your heart, and heart’s little intelligence, and listen to me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile away and still out of sight, the churn of the [...]
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, mind/body, motherhood, three kids, writingJuly 5, 2010
green sweatshirt
I folded laundry last night and picked up the green, hooded sweatshirt the one that zips up the front, isn’t too cushy, and has highlighted both the blue and brown eyes of my two youngest boys I think it’s days are numbered this favorite piece of clothing and yet I am not ready to pack it away in the attic graveyard Then I remembered all the times yesterday I said something like this “It’ll be easier when they are all older. When they are all 5 and up.” I’m pushing and pulling at time all at once thinking of time [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsJuly 2, 2010
Found.
“Recollection, I have found, is usually about half invention.” —Wallace Earle Stegner. OK, so I cheated this week Stealing a few words from Wally. (Not even six words. Nine, actually.) But this quote hangs before me When I sit at my desk. It provides me with great inspiration Perhaps you will be inspired, too. For more Six Word Fridays–and to link up your own six words–check out MakingThingsUp.com!
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingJune 20, 2010
Loyalty.
I spent this past basketball season becoming a True Celtics Fan. With Sweetie, I watched nearly every televised game, up to and including Game 7 of the finals, the scrappy match against the Lakers that ended the Celts’ season just short of them having achieved the crowning glory of the title. Sweetie is a longstanding Celtics fan, and on game nights we would put the kids to bed and tune in. From pregame to postgame and the halftime analysis in between, I watched and listened beside him, as I have for years. I don’t know why this year was different. [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, home, Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsJune 16, 2010
Life is a Carousel
I have to stop trying to figure out how to slow it down or make it stop And simply cherish the ride even if I get dizzy more than I’d like
Read More in Sarah WritesJune 14, 2010
All-purpose apology note from my 6-year-old
“I am sorry for that” I received this note on Sunday afternoon, amidst the fallout of a meltdown by my 6-year-old son. He’s written notes of apology before, and in the past he has been a bit more specific in describing why he is “sare.” Whether he anticipates using this note again or he just ran out of room on the piece of paper to go into detail, I’m not sure. But the fact that he writes me notes makes my heart swell a bit, even while I am trying to get under control my own emotional reaction to his [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, writingJune 9, 2010
Glimpse. Pause. Reflect.
I like this photo because it brings me right back to that trip to Maine, 11 years ago. The trip that Sweetie planned from start to finish. Every detail taken care of. An inn with a huge jacuzzi. Bike trails and a place to rent bikes. Bookstores to explore. I like this photo because just by looking at myself looking out at the water here, adjusting my cap, I also remember the sunset we shared and so many other details of that trip, like the fact that I was still eating fish then, and did, sitting across from my Sweetie, [...]
Read More in Dad, history aka before kids, Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsMay 18, 2010
A day of Yes
Yes I’ll make cinnamon-chip muffins Yes we have Daddy juice Yes you can wear shorts today Yes there are clean socks in the laundry basket in my room Yes you have PE today (so wear your sneakers, too) Yes I’ll pack yogurt in your lunch Yes I’ll pack a granola bar in your snack Yes it’s my turn to drive you to school today Yes you have to brush your teeth Yes I’m picking you up from school, too Yes your friend M can come over to play Yes I’ll make popcorn Yes you can jump on the (neighbor’s) trampoline [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsMay 12, 2010
Happiness is
Happiness is three slippery bodies just out of the tub holding out their towels and asking for a “Daddy warm-up” Happiness is my Sweetie’s eyes deep brown and kind always smiling with soft lines around them like the Lucinda Williams song Happiness is this family that is ours only ours always ours because we took the leap that led us here ***************** Wednesday and Thursday are all about Happiness. Sarah and I are so happy to have you along on this amazing adventure. Link away…and we’ll get busy reading.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsMay 9, 2010
The Evidence of Mothers–a post by our Mom
In a new Mother’s Day tradition, today’s post–like last year’s Mother’s Day post–is written by Momalom’s mom, aka GG or Geege. She’ll no doubt be checking comments, so let her know what you think. And, thanks, Mom, for gracing our space with your wisdom once more. The Evidence of Mothers One of my best friends’ 37-year-old son recently made her a grandmother for the first time. When I saw Chris last week, she grabbed me and gave me a shake, demanding to know why I had never told her what being a grandparent is like, how wonderful it is Of [...]
Read More in birthday, GG, GG Writes, guest post, motherhoodMay 6, 2010
Discovering the Park: Revisited
As we’re gearing up for Five for Ten, I’ve decided to repost some oldies this week. Need a refresher on Five for Ten? Just go hang out in the sidebar over there. You can find the rules and our topics and even link up! I’ll see you back here on the 10th! ********** Mysteries Unearthed (Originally published August 9, 2009) Friday I took my kids to the park. It was 3 in the afternoon. The baby had woken from her nap. Quiet time was over. We were at loose ends. So I strapped the girls into the bike trailer, B [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, repost, three kidsApril 30, 2010
(On Not) Living in the Past
I have noticed lately that it’s not unusual for people to be living in their pasts. Thinking back to their glory days of high school. Or the independence of college. Their single days. The days when they had money (read: before children). There is a lot of this going on. And I’ve just (finally?) put it all together. I think it took me a while to realize this because, well, I don’t really have high school glory days. College was wonderful but not something I feel I need to revisit. I never really wanted to be single, so when I [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, relationship, three kidsApril 26, 2010
What I Should Have Said
Yesterday at a gathering I was asked by an old friend and mom of one, “How do you do three?” “You just do it,” I said without hesitating. And this is very true. You just do it. I just do it. I mother my three children. I respond first to who needs me most. I multitask all the time. I answer to mom, mama, mommy. Sometimes all at once. I hold hands and answer questions and zip jackets. I keep track and count heads and get juice. I take trips to the potty and mop up spilled water. I just [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 21, 2010
It’s going by too fast
Somebody slow it down. Please. It’s going by much too fast. My life. And theirs. Can we just slow it down? Stop it, even. *** To think, I couldn’t wait for this little boy to grow up. But now I’m done with growing. I want it to end. Because this boy face is too old now. This boy body too big. And his rhythm is now independent of me. His rhythm is all his own. It, and time, march on. While I wince at just trying to keep up. *** It’s going by too fast. It’s what everyone says. We [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsApril 15, 2010
On being present and how it’s often the hardest thing to do not WHEN you’re a mother but BECAUSE of it
Just a thought (and then I’m sure Jen will post something a little more put-together later on): I sometimes wish there weren’t such an emphasis on being present. I feel an enormous amount of pressure to enjoy the moments with my kids. And so often I feel like it’s just impossible. Not because of me, but because of the management of life. It is gorgeous outside right now. The sun is shining its late-afternoon glow. The boys are alternating between snacking and drinking and bouncing on the trampoline. They wander in and out of the house looking for me, needing [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesApril 11, 2010
Easily and Gracefully
I actually looked up the word supple in the dictionary. And I’m glad I did. Because here’s the definition, according to Merriam-Webster: bending and moving easily and gracefully Easily. And Gracefully. That’s the part that speaks to me when it comes to being emotionally supple. I want to bend easily and gracefully in the ways that I react to things. I want to be able to breathe and take in what is in front of me, whether an entire container of art beads strewn across the kitchen floor or a child dancing through the house singing a song in a [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsApril 9, 2010
This Is My Life? Peace and Quiet
E is napping. (Almost four hours so far!) B is at a friend’s house apres school. S is helping me clean, REALLY clean. It is quiet. And peaceful. And productive around here. Is this really my life? I am savoring it. I know there may be only minutes–or just seconds, even–left.
Read More in chores, home, housework, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 18, 2010
This is My Life: Sunbathing
Don’t be alarmed. It is not ME who is sunbathing. But on this nice, sunny day, a dear member of the family enjoyed the day in the sun (after a thorough spin in the washing machine). Ah, spring.
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 9, 2010
Last Saturday
A family breakfast of crepes and scrambled eggs. Grapefruit and coffee. A walk to the library to return books and take out videos. Lunch together. A houseful of blankets washed and hung to dry on the clothesline, drooping from a winter of ice and snow. A bike ride for B, S and Sweetie; a long nap for E; and reading on the porch for me. Catching up with neighbors after months of a housebound season. PJs before dinner, which has been cooking all day in the Crock-Pot, filling the house with the aromas of Indian spices. *** I came to [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsMarch 2, 2010
Thanks for noticing me
So there I am, loading the kids into the truck. Tying balloons onto car seats so they make it home from the birthday party. Fastening buckles. Unwrapping Smarties and Dum Dums for the short ride to Geege’s house. Rearranging the bags in the front seat so there is room for me to sit and drive. Chattering to the kids. Answering their questions. Finding their sippy cups. As far as loading in goes, this is a successful venture. A car pulls up. A window rolls down. I catch it all in the corner of my eye. “Everything OK, Jen? You need [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsFebruary 7, 2010
A Short Love Letter to My Sweetie
Dear Sweetie, Twelve years ago I chose you. Every day since I have chosen you. It is the easiest choice I have ever made. And I will make it again and again. All my love, Me
Read More in history aka before kids, Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsJanuary 29, 2010
I am (finally?) the person everybody wants to be around
My 1-year-old stands beside the couch patting the cushion, motioning me to sit down instead of pick up old pretzel chunks from the floor. And if I sit she will heft her solid little body up next to me, crawl on top of me, and stay. (For about 10 seconds.) My 5-year-old waits. Waits. Playing with a truck. Or sitting on his bed rubbing Theo’s ear. I don’t know. But he waits. For me to turn off the shower. And before I can reach for a towel I hear, “Mama? Mom?” My 4-year-old asks if I will “suggle” with her [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJanuary 18, 2010
Perspective
Max is two. Officially. But almost-nearly-not-quite three. He has a bump on his tummy next to his navel. It comes and goes, protruding a barely noticeable amount one day and becoming an alarming size the next. We don’t know what it is. The doctor doesn’t know what it is. And in common terms, it’s freaking me out! _______________________ My car broke down last week. I was driving along and then I wasn’t. And then I was stuck at home, or was I? The kids went off to school and dayhome and I was left to a house full of laundry [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsJanuary 16, 2010
Humbled
How can I sit in my HOUSE, look around at my THINGS and want MORE? When there are people who have nothing, have lost everything and don’t even know if their loved ones are alive? Why, so often, does it take the worst to make me appreciate all that I have. This amazing family. A safe, warm, happy home. Friends. My sister. The other night I watched a documentary about the Young at Heart Chorus, a group of men and women whose average age is 80 (or older!) who perform across the world. They sing songs by the Ramones, James [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids