Well, we did it. I’m feeling a little less accomplished than I thought I’d feel, having managed 30 posts in 30 days. I’ve kind of closed out the month with a whimper rather than a bang. And Sarah and I split the writing! Anyway, I’ll try to tie it all up neatly here. Unfinished business: Today’s the last day to enter our caption contest. Your chances are pretty good, given that we’ve had just 13 entries so far. You have until midnight tonight. Pretty please? I’ll send you a T-shirt. Some sticky notes. (See how pretty they are?) Maybe some [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 30, 2010
November to December: From words every day to pictures if we can muster the energy
November 28, 2010
i’m not ready for this
On Thursday my 8-year-old’s quest to quench boredom led him to Bananagrams. He didn’t know what it was and even though my first response was something like “I don’t have the wherewithal to teach you right now,” I summoned some patience and grace and explained the rules. Yes, I give myself a pat on the back. Yes, I say NO a lot. Yes, I realize I should say YES more often. Especially to things like this. So, if you haven’t heard of Bananagrams it’s like Scrabble without the board and the points. You get to shout things like Split and [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, sex, three kidsNovember 27, 2010
Unintentional Makeover
We arrived home late this morning from my mama’s house. After a couple of glorious days doing nothing but lounging and eating, eating and lounging, I had decided on the ride home that I would finally repaint the living room. We’ve lived in this house for 2.5 years and nearly every room has been painted except the one in which we spend the most time as a family. I never hung pictures on the walls because I always intended to paint. The weeks turned to months turned to years and now here we are, living out of a room that [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 26, 2010
Delusional thinking?
If I clean the house today, I won’t have to clean the house over the weekend. P.S. It’s not too late to enter our caption contest! (So if you’re avoiding your own housework, check it out!)
Read More in chores, Jen WritesNovember 25, 2010
Turkey
I didn’t have any. Did you? Perhaps the lack of tryptophan in my Thanksgiving day feast is the precise reason I still am awake.
Read More in holidays, Jen WritesNovember 24, 2010
Leftovers
You know what you can do with leftover black beans? Make black bean dip. Which your children—if they are anything like mine—will scarf down with handfuls of corn chips until you cut them off. (This is not how my kids ate the original black beans. Thus the leftovers.) I’m not a post-a-recipe kind of a gal. But. It’s NaBloPoMo and I’m getting a little desperate. So here goes. Place in the bowl of a food processor: • The leftover black beans (4 cups. Yeah. They were NOT a hit at dinner the other night. Probably because there were onions and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 22, 2010
In which I transcribe a list of thoughts
Numbered, but in no particular order of importance: 1. NaBloPoMo seems to go on forever. 2. It is very difficult to change someone’s mind. I should probably repeat this truth to myself daily. 3. How is it that I have never made a pumpkin pie? Here’s hoping mine comes out. (Should I make a practice one first? Or just be gutsy and assume the one I make will be Thankgiving worthy?) 4. It’s cold. (I am not really mentally prepared for winter.) 5. I read in a magazine over the weekend that when it comes to hair, the longer the [...]
Read More in Jen WritesNovember 21, 2010
waking up slowly
I don’t want to be awake, I think. I don’t want to roll out of bed. It’s so warm in here, so cold out there. The weight of the blankets fills in all the gaps that already are starting to form. The gaps in my day. The things I’ll forget to do. The things I’ll wish I had done. The things I’ve intended to do, but couldn’t get to. Yeah, those gaps. But also the gaps in my heart where a small part of me wishes that the children weren’t here. That I could rouse myself slowly, like the sun, [...]
Read More in Sarah WritesNovember 19, 2010
This is my life: Screaming
My children bring out the worst in me as often as they bring out the best in me. I screamed so loud tonight that my throat hurts. And, although I’m sick to my stomach with guilt and sadness and fear that there really isn’t any other way to get them to listen and follow my directions, I also believe I’m not alone in unleashing my inner demon. As I said to my best friend today, I have finally come to a point in my life where I can say with some certainty that most people have the same struggles as [...]
Read More in Sarah WritesNovember 18, 2010
This is My Life: Built-in Landscaping Services
This photo, taken five years ago, makes me !!! (and a little bit sad, too, but I’m focusing on the intentional happiness theme today). Tell us what makes you !!!
Read More in !!!, boys, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 17, 2010
sometimes control isn’t such a bad word
don’t let your pain determine your actions. rise above it don’t let your frustration don’t let your desire determine your actions rise above it take back control ********** I’m trying really really hard to live by these words. In my role as mother, yes. But also in my role as mere human. How difficult it is to not allow our frustrations with ourselves and others determine how hard we fight or how quickly we retreat in the face of life’s challenges. How difficult it is to put aside our wishes and wants and do what is right and just and [...]
Read More in Sarah WritesNovember 16, 2010
Respecting the process. Enjoying the results.
Today I lowered myself into the cool, chlorinated water. I pulled back my too-long hair and stuffed it under my sturdy swim cap. I pulled my goggles tight. I pushed my feet against the side of the pool. I stretched, consciously making my body as long as I could. I glided. I breathed. I thought, “Why oh why is it so damn hard to get here when it feels so absolutely perfect to be here?” I thought, “Hey, that’s exactly how I feel about writing.” And then I swam. Lap after lap. Finding the rhythm in my body, my breathing, [...]
Read More in exercise, health, Jen Writes, mind/body, writingNovember 15, 2010
Learning in the quiet
I curled up on my son’s bed beside him in the dark at the end of this long Monday. In the quiet in the dark I listened to his breathing, tried hard not to comment on his squirming. And then out of the silence he began to talk. The things he revealed to me were not responses to questions I asked. I wouldn’t have known to ask about these things: facts worries ideas questions of his own that fill his mind. We snuggled together under his warm blankets and I tried to say as little as possible as I answered [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, three kidsNovember 14, 2010
Our baby days are almost over
Okay, they’re not almost over. They’re over. I’m a little weepy. It’s true. (Will there be one more? Nobody knows.) But instead of calling them babies, now I just call them beautiful boys. My boys. My brood. And we’ve got many more days ahead. There’s a place where boyhood begins–with sticks and mud and hitting your brothers–but I’m not sure it ever ends. So there’s always that to think of when I get sad for chubby feet and soft knees: raising an eternity of adventurous boys.
Read More in Sarah WritesNovember 13, 2010
What rhymes with butterfly?
I’ve been sending photo holiday cards much longer than I’ve been blogging. And, as a blogger, I’ve been hesitant to accept any offer from companies thus far. However, just as I was finishing the layout for this year’s holiday card, complete with four photos—one of which actually shows all three children together (gasp!)—I learned of an offer from Shutterfly. An offer too good to resist. Shutterfly has great options for holiday photos. In fact, 274 options. I myself didn’t have time to view every single one (three kids, remember). But it was easy to narrow down the choices by number [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 12, 2010
Inspire
Inspire them to be more than they ever think they can be Without wishing them to be perfect Without wasting time on their mistakes Without speaking lectures to deaf ears Inspire them to understand that love is all that matters over time that hope is lubricant for worry that voices are meant to sing that nothing ever takes their place These children, your lifeblood, your gift *** Six Word Fridays with Making Things Up
Read More in Sarah WritesNovember 11, 2010
!!! in goodbyes
This is a photo of my Sweetie. The adult in this world who makes me !!! (and not just on Thursdays). I know. You can’t see him. He prefers it that way. (Winking at you, Sweets.) But there’s more !!! in this photo, too, even though part of it is bittersweet to me. Our son took this picture with his own camera one morning last spring (by the looks of the purple blooms) as he was undoubtedly waving goodbye to his dad, who was on his way to work. We have this waving ritual. Whoever is leaving for work that [...]
Read More in !!!, fatherhood, Jen Writes, motherhood, oldest child, relationship, three kidsNovember 9, 2010
Nourishment
As I start to think about the upcoming holidays and all of the impossible chaos that is sure to ensue, I find myself retreating to books more than usual. It’s undeniably a kind of avoidance. But reading is also a source from which I draw strength. And because I anticipate needing all the strength I can get during the coming weeks and months, I’m seeking out suggestions. I’m offering a few books on my recent reading list, and I’d love to hear what’s keeping you from your own lives these days. Recently I’ve devoured: Little Bee by Chris Cleave Plan [...]
Read More in holidays, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 8, 2010
Life is kicking my ass
Life is kicking my ass. The list of shit I have to accomplish grows longer and longer. The daily chores keep adding up. Crap I should have done yesterday mingles with crap I have to do today pushes up against crap I’m worried getting done tomorrow. I’m juggling too many balls and there’s not enough air to keep them all floating. Gravity is working against me. I cannot see the sky for all the bullet points on my list filling the space in my head, blinding my eyes, sweeping the sun from view. I cannot THINK. I cannot think CLEARLY. [...]
Read More in Sarah WritesNovember 7, 2010
Floors. Sweeping, vacuuming, washing. FLOORS.
November 6, 2010
Fearlessly independent
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, youngest child
November 5, 2010
Change happens when I’m not watching
Embracing motherhood has meant, for me, That in every moment, every day (if i just open my eyes and allow myself to see it) change is everywhere: growth, moods, needs. And when I feel most lost or ready to jump and cry throw up my hands and scream A lesson is learned. A hurdle scaled. A child surprises us both. It’s Six Word Fridays! For more, visit Making Things Up.
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsNovember 3, 2010
Coming to terms again and again
I have come to the realization that I believed that when my childbearing days were over I’d step out of one world and into another. From the world of emerging parent to that of established parent. It has taken me some time to come to terms with the reality that Sweetie and I have (only? exactly? ) three children. That we are blessed to have three children. And. And that there will not be more. But then, everyone else keeps having babies. Friends new and old. Neighbors. Co-workers. So many of the people that I see and talk to daily [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsIt’s November 1, which means… It’s our brother Justin’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Bro Grow. Be well. Also, Nov. 1 means it’s the first day of NaBloPoMo. Yup. We’re doing it again. Posting every day this month. We participated in this blog writing fest last year. It was fun. It was challenging. For me, the month took its toll on me both creatively and in my off-blog life. And yet. Here I am again. So please, tune in every day. One of us will be here. Which brings me to a bit of housekeeping. Those of you who subscribe, either by [...]
Read More in birthday, Jen WritesNovember 30, 2009
And the winners are…
Thanksgiving was perfecto! However, it did kinda sorta skew my focus for a few days. It’s taken me longer than I expected to get to this post. It seems I was more concerned about eating pie and keeping toddlers out of trouble than I was about the blog. Phew! That was hard to admit. Especially after Five for Ten. Especially after the influx of comments and blogs we so happily devoured. I will shamelessly say that I spent much more time with my computer than I did with my kids for those ten days. That this blog space was more [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 29, 2009
High Hopes
Dear Cuisinart Food Processor, I love you. I really do. Without you there would be no hummus. Without you, making macaroni and cheese (uh, I mean Cheesy Noodle Casserole) would be so much more difficult. Without you roasted potatoes would not be as evenly sliced. But, most importantly, without you my holiday mustard would be impossible to make. Impossible. So, please. Don’t die on me. Not now. I know you’re feeling old. And cracked. And worn out. Maybe even unappreciated. Let me assure you that I love you. I count on you. And I need you. Do not die on [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 28, 2009
The banter of family
We talk about sleep. Wine-induced sleep. What a blessing. What a curse. We talk about age. Sixty and six months and everything in between. What it means to grow old. What it takes to stay young. We talk about the kids. How active they are. How much energy they have. How much energy they take. From us. All day. We banter. About the little things. Happily. Because we are family. And this is what we do. And it is comfortable. To talk about nothing in particular. When you are with family. There is no agenda. No point. No expectation. But [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 25, 2009
Loose ends and a few thoughts
Oh MY! Where is that lovely graphic to begin the post? What? Five for Ten is over? (Boo boo lip.) I think it’s going to take some time to recover. Right now we are in the process of basking in your lovely comments and figuring out T-shirt details. Bear with us, ladies. We’ll be in touch. (We also are baking pies and figuring out if the kids have any decent clean clothes to wear for Thanksgiving tomorrow, ya know?) In the meantime, here’s something for you (ladies and gentlemen, both) to think about: A thread that seemed to recur during [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 24, 2009
Lasting Impressions
I can’t quite believe it is the final day here at Five for Ten. Excuse me if I run long today, my heart is full. Very full. My heart runneth over with worry and fear and joy and expression and memory on most days, but today it is filled with lasting amounts of honesty and love. Honest love. The draft of the very first Five for Ten post – the introduction to our adventure – sat on my laptop waiting for a little bit of bravery. I finished typing it up and went to the couch for a Friday night [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 23, 2009
What I Learned on My Weekend Away
I still love J lots and lots. He still loves me. We still like to take long walks and people watch. I can still do a pretty decent job on the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle. Great friends and great food make for a great time and great memories. I miss my kids when we aren’t together. It’s nice to have a new shirt to wear every once in a while. I can recognize and name all Celtics starters, even without the benefit of close-up television and Tommy Heinsohn’s commentary. I may have completely lost the ability to sleep [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, relationship, three kidsNovember 21, 2009
Vacation Day
As you read this, my sweetie and I are on our weekend getaway. I’ve been planning for this for months. Since about the time Sarah surprised Dan with his weekend getaway, and I spent the weekend at Sarah’s with all six kids. Which is where the six kids are now. With Sarah. At Sarah’s. And I have no doubt that everyone is fine. As for me and my sweetie, we do not get away together often. This trip is a birthday present to him. And all I told him was that he needed to be packed by 3:00 Friday afternoon. [...]
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Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 20, 2009
Another Secret Weekend – help, imma gonna have six kids in my house
Stress. The devil. Do they indeed mean the same thing? My husband is stressed. Has started a new company and is just so, well, STRESSED. On top of the demands for his time from both clients and family that he cannot fulfill, and the financial deadlines he must meet so as to keep the house in our name AND the heat turned on, he’s got the fucking flu. Whoops, I cursed. Hoping I don’t offend any of too many of you. Because he is stressed, I am stressed, and the kids get stressed because our patience is fickle – waffling [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kids (six kids)Last night a local news station ran a story about mommy bloggers, featuring us. Me. and Sarah. Momalom. She was shown unloading the (my!) dishwasher. I was shown painting with my daughter. We were shown together leaning over a computer. It was strange to see us on TV. And to see the clips chosen for the piece, the few seconds selected from among the hour the reporter spent in my home two Wednesdays ago. It was strange that what we saw on screen was not anything like the conversations that Sarah and I have daily. I mean, we each were [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 18, 2009
The Threads of Sisterhood
Pigtails. Aren’t I cute? This is me, age 5, Kindergarten. I adored that sweater in every way that a little girl can adore an article of clothing. The buttons were white hearts hand-painted with some pinky, girly, swirly somethings. And I was as cute as those buttons for a day or two—until my mom was fed up with finding two eyelet ribbons in my back pack at the end of every day instead wrapped around my rubberbands. She threatened to cut off my hair if I didn’t stop pulling out my pigtails. Or my braids. Or my Mindys. Remember Mindys? [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, sistersNovember 17, 2009
Old stairs. New (older) stairs. Will somebody please identify the metaphor for me?
On Sunday one of my neighbors entered my house. She had borrowed a portable crib and a high chair to accommodate a houseguest in the form of a toddler. And she was returning the equipment. I heard her come in. I was upstairs with the baby, searching the girls’ room for two matching shoes. B, downstairs, yelled, “Mom. Like, Lisa’s here.” (He watches a lot of, like, Scooby Doo.) I went down the stairs more carefully than usual, because just that morning J had ripped them open to expose the original stairs–circa 1870ish–and they’re a little uneven and splintery and [...]
Read More in chores, Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 16, 2009
When you aren’t sure what to write, just ask
Reminders. If you are just joining us here and wondering what that big, bold Five for Ten sign is up there, well, be daring and click on it! It is not too late to jump in. Hell, I’m late for everything. We’ll love you just the same if you commit today and join in the connections. If you have the time to click over to any of the other readers leaving us the most fabulous comments, please do. It is not a requirement of the game, but how about making another blogger’s day just a little bit happier? Oh, I [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 15, 2009
On your mark, get set, go!
Or, as they say in the rowing world, Ready All, Row! Yesterday I received a medal in the mail. A bronze medal. Remember this? Well, our boat won a medal. (OK, OK, so there were only three boats in the race. I’m still proud of the medal.) It was kind of nice opening the mailbox and finding a bulky envelope with my name on it. And it was kind of nice to have to wait for the medal. The race was several weeks ago, true, but receiving the medal through the mail just helped me relive the great experience. It [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsNovember 14, 2009
Come on. You know you want to!
Listen Here. We all spend a heck of a lot of time thinking about our lives, breaking things down into posts, and piecing the words together. We deserve a little more from it all, and Jen and I really want to make that happen. So we have decided to start Five for Ten. If you are just landing here, please take a moment to read yesterday’s post and then come on back. Rules of the Game. Eek. I have a great aversion to the word “rules” – except when it comes to my kids, of course – but I suppose [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 13, 2009
Five for Ten
How do you ask people to stop and take a look at your blog for five minutes a day, ten days in a row, so that you can have a chance at proving yourself? Wait, no. It’s not proof you need. It’s connection. To give and to get. To form. It’s helping people understand that you want is to create a space that is so full of connections that they feel compelled to touch base. It is building this place where we speak to each other. Where the writer reaches out and the reader reaches back. Where the conversations flourish [...]
Read More in Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 7, 2009
It was probably easier this way, and much more funny
Let’s pick up where we left off, shall we? I went back to work much too early after Ethan was born. I don’t know if it was guilt over my absence, or an honest need to get out of the house, but I found myself once again cooped up in an office with a baby carrier tucked away at my feet. In the eighteen months that I held this position of employment I had delivered two babies. On most days I’m pretty sure it was more than my boss could handle and I’m sure he never quite realized it was [...]
Read More in boys, Sarah WritesNovember 3, 2009
When life gets in the way of motherhood
My boy is sick. He lays beside me in bed right now telling me over and over it’s time for him to go to sleep. Finally admitting that he feels horrible. He isn’t just “fine.” Telling me that he loves me and that he wants me to be right next to him. Right now and all night long. In my big comfortable cloud of a bed. So here we are. Dan will sleep on the couch. I will sleep next to my boy. His fever will drift up and down. I will be here to medicate him and mother him. [...]
Read More in health, motherhood, Sarah Writes, three kidsNovember 1, 2009
Many the Miles
Play Me [Audio clip: view full post to listen] I pulled on my running tights yesterday and laced up my new sneakers. I snaked through the streets in my neighborhood, up the hill past a golf course, along tree-lined avenues painted with picturesque houses, through a lonely college campus. It was Halloween and the weather couldn’t have been more elegantly creepy and magical. There was a forceful wind. It pushed me and I pushed right back. Leaves danced across the streets, bathed the sidewalks, and breezed with me as I broke free. From that world indoors. The one that I [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, mind/body, Sarah Writes, Sarah's Favorites, three kids