True: I thought of the perfect six-word post while driving familiar roads on the way home from school with (only!) one child behind me and my thoughts (almost) to myself. Also true: I cannot recreate perfect or even, now, something vaguely similar to the six words that flowed line after line in exact representation of how I’ve been feeling today (low, sorry for myself, weepy even). Truest: I have so very much. Truest of all: Perfect doesn’t exist. (And that’s worth remembering every day.)
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsDecember 2, 2011
True, though so far from perfect
October 28, 2011
11:00 a.m. to 11:09 a.m.
Twenty minutes. Twenty things to do. Nineteen of them for other people. One for me. One thing: Write. Not time enough for grand ideas Not time enough for starting anew Not time to revise what’s there Not time to add to it. And so I sit. Nimble fingers, ideas whispering from a tired mind. I tap out a few words. Reminding myself that 20 (nine?) minutes isn’t enough to do 20 things Reminding myself that sitting, thinking, writing even for the briefest, still moment is a sound decision. For me.
Read More in chores, home, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingOctober 5, 2011
Daily demands
I have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish today. One is crossed off. I have finished half of another (small) task. The rest of the list is untouched. It is 2:20 p.m., which means that I have to leave the house in no more than 30 minutes to go pick up the two older kids. Nothing will get crossed off of my list once all three kids are home. There will be snacks and after school time spent together. I’m only home at this time of day twice each week, and I like to see my kids [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, writingJuly 10, 2011
10 minutes on a Sunday morning
Sunday morning, and the day stretches out before me in that proverbial way a day does when there’s nothing planned and only one parent home and three kids walking aimlessly through the house. Run-on sentences fill my head. There are the things that I could do: Laundry. Dishes. Get down on the floor and play with the kids. There are the things that I want to do: Sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and gaze up at the trees. Watch the cardinal couple flirting. Prepare for the day by preparing words for the page. There are the [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingMarch 6, 2011
Yeah, Me too.*
Do you ever feel like every thought you’ve ever had has already been thought before by someone else? And yet, at the same time, do you often feel utterly misunderstood by everyone else? *(Still, six months later.) This is a repost from September. Yes, another repost. It’s a busy time around here. And it occurred to me, yet again, that what I would write if I had the time to do it, well, I’ve already written. I’m confident that soon I’ll have an original idea and, maybe, the time to devote to it. In the meantime, these few words say [...]
Read More in repostMarch 2, 2011
Sick duty
There’s nothing like a vomiting kid to make you face your mothering duties head on. All at once and in full force there is someone to comfort. And laundry to do. And a floor to mop. And a wall to wash down. There’s the quick trip to the supermarket for ginger ale and saltines. And snuggling in bed watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid, checked out of the library on a whim a few days ago. E-mail goes unanswered. Ditto the telephone. My hands to the forehead and upper back of my oldest boy instead of on the keyboard. I [...]
Read More in health, Jen Writes, oldest child, three kidsFebruary 28, 2011
Phew. I already wrote this blog post.
I sat down to write a post while dinner cooks and had a flashback. Then, a sense of relief. I’ve already written this post, the one I sat down to write, clock ticking away. Tonight dinner is black bean chili and cornbread, and instead of a dance party there are four kids (mine plus a friend) playing in pairs upstairs—I can hear the Battleship cries from one room and singing from another—but the Struggle for Time? Yup. That’s still going on. It’s a constant internal struggle for me, and when it gets overwhelming I lash out against it by lashing [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, repost, three kidsSeptember 12, 2010
This is My Life: And it’s never all tidy at once
On the second day of school, I spent the morning cleaning my first-grader’s room. Thoroughly. While I was in there, the girls played in their room. Or maybe played isn’t exactly the right word.
Read More in housework, Jen Writes, middle child, motherhood, oldest child, three kids, youngest childJuly 23, 2010
Together (inevitably)
July 19, 2010
On my mind last week.
I couldn’t seem to pull it together last week. I kept trying to write, but I was having trouble staying focused. I think I have too much on my mind lately. Here’s a few of the things that I dwelled on long enough to jot down as ideas but that never quite made it any farther than a sentence or two in post form: It is a foregone conclusion that the needs of a certain child in my household always seem to come before everyone elses, regardless of the circumstances. Why did I dream of an explosion leaping out of [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, three kids, unpaid work, writingApril 15, 2010
On being present and how it’s often the hardest thing to do not WHEN you’re a mother but BECAUSE of it
Just a thought (and then I’m sure Jen will post something a little more put-together later on): I sometimes wish there weren’t such an emphasis on being present. I feel an enormous amount of pressure to enjoy the moments with my kids. And so often I feel like it’s just impossible. Not because of me, but because of the management of life. It is gorgeous outside right now. The sun is shining its late-afternoon glow. The boys are alternating between snacking and drinking and bouncing on the trampoline. They wander in and out of the house looking for me, needing [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesApril 10, 2010
I’m Not Good at Twitter
I gave it a try. But, well, let’s face it, Twitter and I are not meant to be friends. I was never one of the popular crowd. In high school I had a friend–a best friend–who was a cheerleader. But, well, I never hung out with the other cheerleaders. There was something unspoken and mutually understood about my place–or UNplace–in the social gatherings of the day. Also, for Twitter? I don’t have the time. Even if it does only require (less than) 140 characters. I mean, I know I write about this all the time, my lack of time. And [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kidsMarch 15, 2010
Struggling for time
Loud music. And 23 minutes on the dinner timer. Means I have time to sit down at my computer for a moment. Should I be with the rest of the family? Together in the other room. Enjoying the loud music, even louder in there. I am torn. I can actually feel the internal pulling. The I Shoulds: Family. I should be enjoying this time with them. Dancing. Goofing around. Singing to loud music. Taking in their smiles and their little bodies moving freely. Against. The I Wants: Time. Time is what I want. Time to form a complete thought and [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, writingMarch 9, 2010
Last Saturday
A family breakfast of crepes and scrambled eggs. Grapefruit and coffee. A walk to the library to return books and take out videos. Lunch together. A houseful of blankets washed and hung to dry on the clothesline, drooping from a winter of ice and snow. A bike ride for B, S and Sweetie; a long nap for E; and reading on the porch for me. Catching up with neighbors after months of a housebound season. PJs before dinner, which has been cooking all day in the Crock-Pot, filling the house with the aromas of Indian spices. *** I came to [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kidsFebruary 17, 2010
This is my life: Food Before Blog
Although I am tinkering with about 12 different posts right now–both on-screen and in-mind–I thought I’d send out a little something to whet your whistle. Reason No. 29 why I haven’t written a new blog post in nearly a week: I went away for the weekend and left my kids in the hands of Fabulous-Babysitter-Kelsey and Rockin’-Mama-Geege. You want to know what else I left in their hands? Bio-hazardous waste masquerading as edibles in my refrigerator. In between thinking about, procrastinating, and actually DOING the packing for my weekend getaway, cleaning out the fridge was overlooked. Upon returning from the [...]
Read More in chores, Sarah Writes, three kidsFebruary 11, 2010
I wish I had more for you, but this is all I got today
(i wish i had more for you but my brain can’t handle any more than this and i’m okay with that because as jen says “motherhood is hard, yo” and these words just have to be good enough for now) my brain is swirling whirling disappearing and coming back around to itself there are lists and tasks and chores and goals i have to do and meet and be the exhaustion is pushed away by caffeine and kid-chasing, but it’s still there and i get weary of worrying if i’m keeping perspective on life, my life, this life somewhere underneath [...]
Read More in motherhood, Sarah WritesJanuary 29, 2010
I am (finally?) the person everybody wants to be around
My 1-year-old stands beside the couch patting the cushion, motioning me to sit down instead of pick up old pretzel chunks from the floor. And if I sit she will heft her solid little body up next to me, crawl on top of me, and stay. (For about 10 seconds.) My 5-year-old waits. Waits. Playing with a truck. Or sitting on his bed rubbing Theo’s ear. I don’t know. But he waits. For me to turn off the shower. And before I can reach for a towel I hear, “Mama? Mom?” My 4-year-old asks if I will “suggle” with her [...]
Read More in home, Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJanuary 20, 2010
This is my life: Two hours at a time
Sarah and I thought we’d start a new series. Simple pieces and/or photos that just tell it like it is. The basic day-to-day of having three kids. Straightforward and less about the emotional part of mothering every now and then. We’ve decided to call it This is My Life. So, here goes my first attempt: My days are divided into two-hour blocks, which go something like this. 6:30 a.m. Wake up 8:30 a.m. Out the door to drop off B and S at school 9:30 a.m. Home from drop off 11:30 a.m. Out the door to pick up S 12:30 [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, motherhood, three kids, unpaid workJanuary 7, 2010
A Writer’s Life?
How much of my life should I reveal here? Where do I draw the line regarding what personal details or thoughts or doubts to include? Does leaving myself vulnerable make me naive? Negligent? Irresponsible? To myself? To others whose lives are inseparable from my own? But. How can I be authentic without sometimes being vulnerable? These are some of the questions that arise again and again. And the answers are no closer to the surface. I know that I will not post photos. Or use names. I will not reveal any identifying details about where I live. Perhaps you could [...]
Read More in Jen Writes, three kids, writingDecember 30, 2009
(Be)longing
Was I lying when I wrote about not apologizing for my dreams? Because I haven’t been doing much to further those dreams lately. I have been composing only in my head. At night. Long after everyone else in the house is asleep. Or I have been jotting down notes on a legal pad between trips to the kitchen to do a dish, get a snack, refill a juice cup. But I have not been here. Here. At the computer, the porthole to the blog, at night, after the kids are asleep. I have not. Instead I have been with my [...]
Read More in Best of 2009, home, Jen Writes, Jen's Favorites, motherhood, relationship, three kids, writing