Need some advice

by Sarah on March 11, 2010

Okay, friends. Today’s post is not about pretty writing and aha! moments. I need some advice. Here are the details:

On Monday afternoon I took the boys to the grocery store. There was a sale on Crayola products in the aisle of the frozen foods section. Go figure. In an effort to quiet the beasts, I tossed three items in the cart: some crayons, markers and colored pencils.

Upon leaving the store my 7-year-old, Jamis, made a weak and false attempt at helping me load the groceries into the car. It was all so that he could just find and steal the new goodies from the bag and fondle them on the ride home. I was pissed and took said goodies away. Help or don’t help, but don’t do it in disguise. The items were placed in the glove compartment of my van.

Jamis wrote himself a reminder note to get the items from the car the next morning. I specifically told him that he could choose only one thing to bring with him to school, and the other two would be staying at home. He chose the crayons and hopped on the bus, happy to share his new shiny box with his classmates. I tucked the other two things back into the glove box to keep them out of view from the little boys.

It is now two days later and about 30 minutes ago Jamis kissed me goodbye and went out the back door to retrieve his backpack from the car before heading to the bus stop. A minute later he reappeared at the front door.

“What are you doing? You are going to miss the bus!” I shuffled him back out the door and followed him.

“But I have to tell you something,” he said.

“What!?”

“A cup of coffee spilled in the car and got all over a check that was there.”

My eyebrows raised and my voice got tight. “You mean, YOU spilled it?”

“No, I didn’t. I don’t know how it happened.”

At this point there is a lot of quick back-and-forth over the matter. I’ll limit this to Jamis’s part.

“It was like that when I got in the car…I just opened the door and the wind blew it over…I don’t know how it happened…”

Yup, 3+ excuses as to why there is coffee spilled all over the center console of my van and a check for $700 is now dyed a lovely shade of brown. Like the last incident I wrote about which involved some candy-sneaking, I gave Jamis the opportunity to tell me the truth: “Just tell me that you did it, Jamis. Tell me the truth.”

Alas, no truth was told. He fled to the bus stop.

I grabbed a towel and went to the car to clean up the mess. There was no reason for Jamis to be in the front seat to get his backpack, which would have been in the third row of seats. So I reached across to the glove box and pulled out the lone remaining package of Crayola goods, confirming my suspicions. Infuriated, I started for the bus stop to tell Jamis just how disappointed I was and to take the colored pencils from his bag. But just as I rounded the corner he stepped up on the bus and found his seat among the tall green rows.

Now, what to do? He lied. He stole. It’s not the first time.

I know he is only 7 but this is unacceptable to me. I know that he didn’t ask permission for the colored pencils because he assumed I would say no. And he is right. I would have. I had already specified that only one item would make it’s way to school. The others would stay at home for everyone to be able to use.

I know he lied because he was afraid I’d find out about the pencils, and that I would be mad about both the stealing and the spilling. He is right, again. But knowing all of this doesn’t excuse any behavior.

So here I sit wondering how severe the consequences will get this time. I hate this job. But I hate lying and stealing even more. Lying is my NUMBER ONE. I feel like someone has tromped all over my face with a muddy pair of army boots when I’ve been lied to. It doesn’t feel good. I won’t stand for it.

So what’s the punishment, friends? How the hell do I make my point and help my kid realize that lying will always, ALWAYS land him in a boatload more of trouble?! I know he’s got a small sense of responsibility, because he TOLD me about the spill instead of letting me find out about it myself. I know he’s pretty sick and tired of getting in trouble, but I’m even more sick and tired of doling out the trouble.

Graciously accepting all advice. Please!

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Last Saturday

by Jen on March 9, 2010

A family breakfast of crepes and scrambled eggs. Grapefruit and coffee.

A walk to the library to return books and take out videos.

Lunch together.

A houseful of blankets washed and hung to dry on the clothesline, drooping from a winter of ice and snow.

A bike ride for B, S and Sweetie; a long nap for E; and reading on the porch for me.

Catching up with neighbors after months of a housebound season.

PJs before dinner, which has been cooking all day in the Crock-Pot, filling the house with the aromas of Indian spices.

***

I came to blogging looking for something. A reason to write. A place to share. And, although I didn’t know it, a community. I realize now, as I bring in the cool blankets and fold them, breathing in the scent of outdoors—newness, fresh air—that so many of the moments of my mothering life were going unnoticed even by me.

Like this first day of springlike weather that unfolded before me, blogging has offered the same—unexpected opportunities. By writing about my life—the moments big and small—I have found not only understanding but support, compassion, a shared sense of humor and of burden. A place to reflect and appreciate. Or to record and move on. And I am grateful. Momalom has given me a place that is both just for me and for everyone who might offer me the slightest nods. It has offered routine and unexpected graces. And something else to navigate, to fit into my busy home life of family and work and nurturing. My mind is busier. I am better for it.

I am glad for spring. Today it’s my favorite season. The rebirth. The pause and acceleration all at the same time. I stop and appreciate the new life around me peeking out of the cold ground, and I can’t wait to jump on my bike and explore the new bike path extension with my kids. Spring is a season of opportunities. And I am ready for them all. I am not the only one, of course. For as I was crafting this post, Sarah was writing her own, just an hour south and yet too far away. We didn’t know it, but it’s not unusual that we were feeling much the same. And so I am left renewed again, by the season and by the blog, knowing that Momalom was the right choice for us.

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Make You Smile

by Sarah on March 9, 2010

Yesterday was a rough day. Today I want to wake up with a smile.

There are a few more people I know who also deserve another reason to lift the corners of their lips.

Happy Birthday to Becca! I wish you nothing but sugary sweetness on your special day, girl.

To Wolfie! For your wit, charm and whimsy. I’ve got thimbles on for you today, BLW.

And to Kitch. (sigh) You’re in my soul, sister.

Play Me and Be Happy
Because sometimes it really is that simple.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

(note: if you click anywhere, that fancy, happy song will get cut off. so maybe take a minute to hum along? or click on one of my friends up there and show them some happy as you listen along? just a thought. thanks.)

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Spring Again

March 6, 2010

I am ready for Spring. I am ready for fresh and new and change and glee. Grass that greens under the soft, bare feet of my three boys. Sprinklers to chill us on the warm days and mist us on the hot ones. I am ready for bouncing through the air as if swept up [...]

23 comments Read Me, Read Me →

MomalomDesigns

March 3, 2010

I’m sorry for the recent distance between us. And the fact that I haven’t even had the decency to return an email or swing by your blogs and leave a comment on the brilliant posts that you have labored over. The thing is, I’ve been entertaining another one of my passions: Design.
Instead of taking the [...]

12 comments Read Me, Read Me →

Thanks for noticing me

March 2, 2010

So there I am, loading the kids into the truck. Tying balloons onto car seats so they make it home from the birthday party. Fastening buckles. Unwrapping Smarties and Dum Dums for the short ride to Geege’s house. Rearranging the bags in the front seat so there is room for me to sit and drive. [...]

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No, I’m not pregnant

February 28, 2010

I ran 7 miles on Saturday. (Collective cheer!)
And then I came home and disrobed and stood in front of the mirror. (Collective sigh.) I stared head-on at my figure as the steam billowed from the shower. What a downer.
I pulled and pushed at my body. I bent down and took notice of how things hang. [...]

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This is My Life: Short-Order Cook

February 27, 2010

“Mom, for breakfast can I have French toast, a sunny side up egg and a sunny side down egg?”
I’d have included a photo here, but the meal was devoured before I could locate my camera.

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This is my life: My boys, My heart

February 25, 2010

Little boys are little boys are little boys are…cute. Want-to-eat-you-up cute. Want-to-bury-you-in-the-couch-cushions cute. Want-to-make-a-fort-and-hide-in-it-with-you-forever cute.
My boys are rough and tumble. My boys are sweet. My boys are unafraid and loud, quirky and energetic. They are all mine, and I am nothing but lucky. And when I think I’m missing out on something by being a [...]

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Momento

February 24, 2010

My mama’s got an iPhone and loves to browse the App Store, otherwise known as the nifty little place where all things you can imagine are made possible for the iPhone. Games, Stock Tips, Calorie Counters, my handy dandy Google Reader. We send each other little tips on Apps we think are fun or cool [...]

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Thank Yous

February 23, 2010

THANK YOU
To the Cheerio fairy, who showed up on my deck a few weeks ago with a box for B’s upcoming school party.
To the parents of B’s friend, who drive him to and from school more than I do.
To the parents of S’s friend. (See above re: school.)
To dear friends who came to dinner and [...]

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